Moving to the UK! (during a pandemic 😷) No more long distance..

[Cutlass]

Hey! In a few days I’m going to be traveling to my boyfriend in Scotland to stay there while the world burns around us. I plan to stay for at least 3 months but it may be longer depending on how the pandemic swings.

We’ve been long-distance for about a year and a half, but with travel being so restrictive, we decided to take the plunge and live in the same city (same flat actually )

It’s nerve-wracking as I’ve never lived with a partner before (far less move country for one) and now I’m moving into a locked-down area... (because of our jobs, the only option was for me to go to him rather than him to come to me).

I guess I’m looking for advice on “closing” a long distance relationship... you know, going from nothing but video calls to waking up next to each other every is scary!
Also, with lockdown, what are some activities we can do together that will save us from going stir crazy?



TL,DR:
I’m moving in with my currently long distance boyfriend for at least 3 months and would like advice on surviving lockdown together.

 

[BettyCrocker]

Living with someone is worlds apart from having a virtual relationship with them.

sort out the finances first. How are you paying your share of the bills/rent etc - get that sorted and organised now before you even move in.

have a plan if it goes wrong. If it all goes to
tit what are you going to do? You need to have a contingency plan for this.

have you ever been together not long distance?

I’d just be prepared for the novelty to wear off and for real life to kick in. It’s either going to make you or break you as a couple!

 

[Gertrude]

Congrats on taking the step to move in together! Three months is a fairly decent amount of time to see if you'll be compatible enough for your relationship to move forward, especially in lockdown! What are your plans for after the three months? Or will you just see how the three months together will go first? Is he from Scotland or is he moving there from someplace else too?

As the poster above mentioned, have all the financial bits agreed beforehand. Don't want to be all negative, but also agree on having some cash aside just incase. Especially as I'm guessing that you don't know anyone in the area!?

Prior to covid, did you spend much time at each other's place?

Will you still be working when you move?

Other than all of that boring/sensible stuff, just enjoy yourself! It's exciting moving in with a partner and it'll be nice for you both to no longer be long distance.
As well as your 'daily outdoor exercise' you can find plenty of things to do at home, all depends on what you're into. Me and my boyfriend are learning how to play the guitar together which takes up a fair amount of time.
It's important to also do things separately and not expecting to spend all of your time together, because then you will really quickly get sick of each other

 

[Ohchristmastree]

Eeeek I did this! I moved from the U.K. to live with my boyfriend in Belgium, we are now 7 years married. I think it’s a hard step because one of you has to give up your life and routine to move in with the other and there’s no testing the waters so to speak. But all I can say is good luck and you’ll absolutely love it! I’ve never looked back (And we were a holiday romance so loved proving everyone wrong too). Just put your own stamp on the place if it is his already and be conscious that it is equally as big a step for him too. You’re the one moving country but he’s also living with someone for the first time too (I assume). But congratulations, enjoy the new chapter!

 

[Cutlass]

Living with someone is worlds apart from having a virtual relationship with them.

sort out the finances first. How are you paying your share of the bills/rent etc - get that sorted and organised now before you even move in.

have a plan if it goes wrong. If it all goes to
tit what are you going to do? You need to have a contingency plan for this.

have you ever been together not long distance?

I’d just be prepared for the novelty to wear off and for real life to kick in. It’s either going to make you or break you as a couple!

I guess I was too giddy to type out all the details:
We've discussed finances. He makes a lot more than me so he will be covering the majority of the bills. I am contributing to the food shop, plus a set amount to spend where he sees fit (as it’s his flat and not something we chose together I don’t have a problem with this... mostly because I know it’s a small fraction of his total expenditure anyway. He is fine with all this btw. I insisted on paying it or else he would only allow me to contribute towards food.)

If it goes wrong, the closest family I have is in London and they are aware of my plans and would have no problem with me coming to stay there, either until my return flight date or until I can arrange to change it. My boyfriend is not the dramatic type so I don’t see us using this plan. But as you say, things can very well go to tit and we just may not see it coming. Fingers crossed we’re good though.
We have spent time together, the majority in the beginning of our relationship when we both lived in Scotland (separately) and other shorter times on holiday together. This is the first time we will be living together outside of a holiday setting.

Congrats on taking the step to move in together! Three months is a fairly decent amount of time to see if you'll be compatible enough for your relationship to move forward, especially in lockdown! What are your plans for after the three months? Or will you just see how the three months together will go first? Is he from Scotland or is he moving there from someplace else too?

As the poster above mentioned, have all the financial bits agreed beforehand. Don't want to be all negative, but also agree on having some cash aside just incase. Especially as I'm guessing that you don't know anyone in the area!?

Prior to covid, did you spend much time at each other's place?

Will you still be working when you move?

Other than all of that boring/sensible stuff, just enjoy yourself! It's exciting moving in with a partner and it'll be nice for you both to no longer be long distance.
As well as your 'daily outdoor exercise' you can find plenty of things to do at home, all depends on what you're into. Me and my boyfriend are learning how to play the guitar together which takes up a fair amount of time.
It's important to also do things separately and not expecting to spend all of your time together, because then you will really quickly get sick of each other

Thank you! I’m really excited but still nervous. He is Scottish so it’s definitely his territory. He’s got the support of family, friends etc. However, I lived in Scotland on a study abroad program (which was how we met) so I do have a few friends in the area! Looking forward to meeting them after lockdown lifts (if it lifts while I’m there )

My current job allows me to work part time online, however when the vaccine really starts rolling out and things get “back to normal”, I will have to return home to resume my full-time job...
The conundrum for me is... if we really want to pursue our relationship, I’m going to have to give up my job and move to the UK permanently, applying for a work visa etc... I’m not exactly looking forward to that but I am willing to do it for our relationship (if this trip works out )

Eeeek I did this! I moved from the U.K. to live with my boyfriend in Belgium, we are now 7 years married. I think it’s a hard step because one of you has to give up your life and routine to move in with the other and there’s no testing the waters so to speak. But all I can say is good luck and you’ll absolutely love it! I’ve never looked back (And we were a holiday romance so loved proving everyone wrong too). Just put your own stamp on the place if it is his already and be conscious that it is equally as big a step for him too. You’re the one moving country but he’s also living with someone for the first time too (I assume). But congratulations, enjoy the new chapter!

Thank you so much!! And congratulations!
lol I love a love story!

 

[LaurieLaurie]

No advice but congrats and good luck

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Good luck, you’ve had some great advice so far! I live in Scotland so if you have any Scotland specific questions, I’m happy to answer

 

[geeemcee]

My boyfriend moved to England from Wales after two years distance, and it’s definitely different and hard to transition to!

My advice is to be open and honest with him when you’re feeling home sick or missing your ‘old life’. When he felt this way he tended to just shut me out and this put a lot of strain on us initially.

Also, from his perspective he may feel a lot of guilt that he’s ‘taken you away’ from your friends and family and home, this is definitely how I felt (and still do). Maybe reassure him from time to time that this is where you want to be and you made the decision because you want to make the relationship work.

Enjoy it!!!

 

[Cutlass]

My boyfriend moved to England from Wales after two years distance, and it’s definitely different and hard to transition to!

My advice is to be open and honest with him when you’re feeling home sick or missing your ‘old life’. When he felt this way he tended to just shut me out and this put a lot of strain on us initially.

Also, from his perspective he may feel a lot of guilt that he’s ‘taken you away’ from your friends and family and home, this is definitely how I felt (and still do). Maybe reassure him from time to time that this is where you want to be and you made the decision because you want to make the relationship work.

Enjoy it!!!

Thank you! He already feels like that tbf (stealing me away from my life at home) so I know that will be a recurring theme in our “open and honest” convos...

 

[Asgyui]

All the best for your trip, i hope its as stress free as possible. I follow someone on tik tok who moved from US to live with her boyfriend in Scotland @bellaabree who i find quite interesting about all difference but it seems you know Scotland well anyway