Moving in with Boyfriend

[Cloak]

I’m moving in with my boyfriend of 3 years in February and haven’t lived with a boyfriend for about 3 or 4 years. I can’t remember what it’s like!

Any tips? I am dead set on having more than one bedroom so we have space for an office etc and all of our respective stuff we’ve accumulated from living solo.

I’d also LOVE to have two bathrooms to maintain some level of mystique () but I am aware that might have to be weighed up against other things if need be. I lived with my previous partner for about 3 years and I completely stopped fancying him so I’d like to try and preserve some of my own space and independence as much as possible.

Any tales, horror stories, advice welcomed!

 

[slabber]

I can't wait to read some of these answers.

It sounds like common sense, but be willing to compromise.. everyone has their "ways" of doing things and sometimes you just have to suck it up. Equally, don't cave to their every want/need, you have to be happy too.

Communication is key. If you don't feel like you're being heard, shouting doesn't work (I'm still working on this one 3 years in)

Try not to get stuck in a rut of work, home, dinner, TV, sleep, repeat.. still continue to do things together that you would have done whilst living separately such as date nights. Likewise, make sure you have your own space and don't spend every minute of every hour together.. still go out with friends, keep up hobbies etc.

In advance of moving in, agree how finances will be managed.

Definitely 2 bedrooms.. you need to have somewhere to banish him to when there's a fall out!

Good luck!

 

[BettyCrocker]

Sort out all the finances in advance- set up a joint account for rent/household bills and both agree on how to split this. Agree on how food shopping etc will be paid for.

make a conscious effort to keep it a romantic relationship and don’t become his mother/cleaner - if you are both working then you both do an equal share of household chores/cooking etc (if one person was at home more and not working I’d say they should do the majority of household stuff)

Your partner is a real person - as are you! It’s pretty normal for the reality to creep in and for the romance of living with someone to fade. You will hear/smell what he’s done in the loo, you will see his dirty undies, you will be privy to seeing him at his most vulnerable and the same goes for you - no matter how many bathrooms you have, he’s going to know you go for a poo and that you fart and all of that stuff! It’s normal!!!!!!!!!

 

[Pixipoppy]

Make sure you know which one of you is the clean/tidy one and set up some sort of agreement beforehand about who does what chores etc. Otherwise one of you will end up doing everything and that will become normal.

2 bedrooms is honestly the way forward, first lockdown was a nightmare cos we were in a tiny 1 bed flat - now we have a separate office it’s so much better.

Try and still make time to go on dates and don’t fall into the pattern of taking each other for granted.

Personally I think it’s a bit weird when couples pee (and poo?!) in front of each other, or like when one is showering and the other one comes in. That’s just me though. I just think you need to keep some mystery? Obviously if some is ill then that’s different but as a regular thing I wouldn’t pee with the door open and neither would he.

Make sure you communicate- if he does something annoying you need to say, don’t stew on it then explode later.

Decide what you’re going to be doing in terms of money. Will you set up a joint account for bills and rent etc

Good luck and enjoy!

 

[TJ90]

I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) after 6 months and on day 2 I got gastroenteritis which was just wonderful as you can imagine
Keep your money separate and then have a joint account for the joint bills.
Date day/night once a month.