We’ve been married 31 years I was in my early 20s when we got married. We’ve had ups and downs as you do but we love each other we are each others best friend I couldn’t imagine life without him. I don’t think getting married made a difference to our relationship and if I was younger now I don’t think I would bother if a relationship works it works a piece of paper doesn’t decide that
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Intrigued to know the answer to this! I’ve been dating a guy for 8 months but we’ve never had any kind of ‘relationship’ chat eg will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend etc. I’m 27 and he’s a few years older - I’ve just never felt the need to have such a chat as I lost all interest in any one else as soon as we started dating! Covid hasn’t made it easy lol but we’re super happy 
I’ve got some friends though who think it’s weird we’ve never had any kind of ‘chat’ - is it just me who just feels there’s no need to label etc?! This is no criticism of anyone who has had a boyfriend/girlfriend chat, I’m genuinely just super interested!!
I’ve got some friends though who think it’s weird we’ve never had any kind of ‘chat’ - is it just me who just feels there’s no need to label etc?! This is no criticism of anyone who has had a boyfriend/girlfriend chat, I’m genuinely just super interested!!Also sorry if this is totally the wrong threadIntrigued to know the answer to this! I’ve been dating a guy for 8 months but we’ve never had any kind of ‘relationship’ chat eg will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend etc. I’m 27 and he’s a few years older - I’ve just never felt the need to have such a chat as I lost all interest in any one else as soon as we started dating! Covid hasn’t made it easy lol but we’re super happy
To me the chat is more about exclusivity rather than labels. As long as there is a mutual understanding of the relationship/agreement why does it need a label.Intrigued to know the answer to this! I’ve been dating a guy for 8 months but we’ve never had any kind of ‘relationship’ chat eg will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend etc. I’m 27 and he’s a few years older - I’ve just never felt the need to have such a chat as I lost all interest in any one else as soon as we started dating! Covid hasn’t made it easy lol but we’re super happy
Also sorry if this is totally the wrong thread
Sorry to go off topic and apologies if this triggers anyone but does anyone know how to create a new thread. I’d like to start one about involuntary childlessness.
Been with my partner 19 years! Not married or engaged, no children, I have pcos so know there are problems conceiving etc, but not tried to get pregnant. Also, we aren't in a position financially to get married.
Both happy and comfortable with our relationship, had ups and downs over the years! Other half has seen his own parents and friends divorce, so perhaps something to do with it, although I wouldn't push him into marriage. Just nice to feel secure and content in our relationship
As my sister in law said, some marriages don't last 19 years
Both happy and comfortable with our relationship, had ups and downs over the years! Other half has seen his own parents and friends divorce, so perhaps something to do with it, although I wouldn't push him into marriage. Just nice to feel secure and content in our relationship
As my sister in law said, some marriages don't last 19 years
Been with my husband for 10 years married for 5. One child and another on the way. Extremely happy. He makes me laugh every day, we really balance each other out and have strong communication. We're not as sexually active as we were on the early days which does worry me as we're still only mid 30s. But I blame that on being parents and having stressful jobs too.
edit to add that I took his name as I wanted the same as our children and I love it. I realised that my surname was only my surname due to my dad (who I have a great rship with) but it's because of a man, so as a feminist I may as well change it to the name of another man - he one I love and who loves me.
Re the wedding, we didn't spent loads. £6k including the dress. I enjoyed planning it and it's easy to forget it's a marriage you're getting not just a pretty wedding day! So it's nice to read that so many posters are the opposite way around, they want the marriage not the wedding!
edit to add that I took his name as I wanted the same as our children and I love it. I realised that my surname was only my surname due to my dad (who I have a great rship with) but it's because of a man, so as a feminist I may as well change it to the name of another man - he one I love and who loves me.
Re the wedding, we didn't spent loads. £6k including the dress. I enjoyed planning it and it's easy to forget it's a marriage you're getting not just a pretty wedding day! So it's nice to read that so many posters are the opposite way around, they want the marriage not the wedding!
I’ve been married for nearly 12 years (second marriage). We have a complicated relationship and I’m not even sure my husband knows me or likes me. We haven’t had sex in nearly two years … at this point I’m only really staying for the lifestyle that I don’t want to lose. I’m very lonely 
I'm so sorryI’ve been married for nearly 12 years (second marriage). We have a complicated relationship and I’m not even sure my husband knows me or likes me. We haven’t had sex in nearly two years … at this point I’m only really staying for the lifestyle that I don’t want to lose. I’m very lonely
I was in a similar situation in a very long term relationship that was devoid of all love in the last couple of years and I was afraid to leave because I didn't want to be alone, thought I'd never find anyone else ect. It really does take a toll on your mental health I wish I could hug you right now, I can really feel your pain
Married 13 years. We are together 25 in total. He is an amazing guy and a fantastic husband and I wouldn’t be without him but I only married him for financial reasons. I didn’t want a massive inheritance tax bill on the house if one of us died. Had a kid and a house and a dog before we married so only for the money aspect we wouldn’t have bothered.
Our wedding was a small, cheap and quick thing, a means to an end. I’ve no interest in anything wedding related. I’ve kept my own name and don’t wear a ring. It was a pain in the a to organise and I don’t know how people find the time to do big mad affairs.
I don’t regret getting married and love my husband dearly but I don’t really see any reason for marriage anymore beyond the legal protection. My daughter says she won’t ever marry and will just cohabit and I think good for her. I definitely wouldn’t do it again, it seems increasingly irrelevant in a modern society.
Our wedding was a small, cheap and quick thing, a means to an end. I’ve no interest in anything wedding related. I’ve kept my own name and don’t wear a ring. It was a pain in the a to organise and I don’t know how people find the time to do big mad affairs.
I don’t regret getting married and love my husband dearly but I don’t really see any reason for marriage anymore beyond the legal protection. My daughter says she won’t ever marry and will just cohabit and I think good for her. I definitely wouldn’t do it again, it seems increasingly irrelevant in a modern society.
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I was once desperate to get married, probably because all my friends were and I went to wedding after wedding and was constantly a bridesmaid. Alas, it’s still not happened. But I’m so thankful that I didn’t marry the man I was with at the time. I’ve got a new partner now and he’s divorced (all very amicable) but I now have zero need or desire to get married. I’d marry him in a heartbeat if he asked, which I’m sure he will one day. But I’ve seen nearly all of the weddings I once went to end in divorce or things are very rocky. My parents had a great marriage until they passed away, but I have to be honest, back then, I think I wanted the big white wedding and a massive party rather than an actual marriage. Now, I’d be happy eloping with my other half and some of my nearest and dearest. Funny how things change.
Happily married for two years so I know it’s still early days for us I suppose. Our wedding day is the second best day of my life, after the day our daughter was born. Having a child has definitely been the biggest test of our relationship so far. We double barrelled our surnames when we got married and I like we have a new family unit that’s different from both our families. I share the same sentiment another user said, he can be a fool, I can be a fool but we make each other laugh everyday so I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Been with my partner 13 years, engaged for 11 years with no interest to get married any time soon. I really think it’s a waste of money.
We don’t have any kids and we’re not planning on having them and we don’t own our home.
Maybe if we had kids I’d be more pushing for it so we all had the same surname.
I’d prefer to elope and then come back and have a nice big dinner with family and close friends.
We don’t have any kids and we’re not planning on having them and we don’t own our home.
Maybe if we had kids I’d be more pushing for it so we all had the same surname.
I’d prefer to elope and then come back and have a nice big dinner with family and close friends.
Been with my husband for 17 years and married for 14 (although got engaged after 6 months having first talked about it after 3 months). My outlook on marriage has changed a lot in that time.
When we got married I was all about the big public statement of our love (ie proving to others that someone really did love me). I got sucked into all the planning hype ( thanks Confetti forums!) and focused on details I couldn't care less about a year later. I was given away by my dad and changed my name. If I was doing it now it would be smaller, cheaper and much more informal. I'm much more aware of feminism and the meaning of some of the traditions so would leave them out, but I would still change my name as I prefer his to my birth name.
These days though, marriage for me is more about the legal protections and the sensible side of things. I know there are other ways to arrange these but marriage or civil partnership is the quickest and easiest. I also wouldn't be happy with the law changing to automatically confer those rights through cohabitation after a number of years as I believe it should be something you consciously choose and agree to (an opt-in rather than opt-out system). And there are plenty of couples who choose to live together but want to keep their finances separate or have other people they would choose as e.g. next of kin.
If you're happy with your situation (some people have a low sex drive so aren't necessarily bothered by losing that aspect of a relationship) then stick with it. If you're not happy then you need to try to change it or end the relationship, whether you're married or not.
When we got married I was all about the big public statement of our love (ie proving to others that someone really did love me). I got sucked into all the planning hype ( thanks Confetti forums!) and focused on details I couldn't care less about a year later. I was given away by my dad and changed my name. If I was doing it now it would be smaller, cheaper and much more informal. I'm much more aware of feminism and the meaning of some of the traditions so would leave them out, but I would still change my name as I prefer his to my birth name.
These days though, marriage for me is more about the legal protections and the sensible side of things. I know there are other ways to arrange these but marriage or civil partnership is the quickest and easiest. I also wouldn't be happy with the law changing to automatically confer those rights through cohabitation after a number of years as I believe it should be something you consciously choose and agree to (an opt-in rather than opt-out system). And there are plenty of couples who choose to live together but want to keep their finances separate or have other people they would choose as e.g. next of kin.
Personally I think marriage is what you make of it and it means something different to each couple. I don't think marriage itself changes your relationship but that relationships naturally change over time anyway.
If you're happy with your situation (some people have a low sex drive so aren't necessarily bothered by losing that aspect of a relationship) then stick with it. If you're not happy then you need to try to change it or end the relationship, whether you're married or not.
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Was married for 11 years, and in that relationship for 15 years.
Best thing I ever did was be divorced, ex husband treated me with no respect.
Would never marry again, love my independence.
I was the high earner in the marriage, now I can spend my money how I want; not how he dictated.
Sad, but I have no desire to get into another relationship; feel too damaged after my experience.
And I am only in my early 50s.
Happy on my own, with my own home decorating as I like, and going on solo holidays.
Have one nearly grown up child, and another at uni.
He still is badgering me for money...
My trust in men is gone.
Best thing I ever did was be divorced, ex husband treated me with no respect.
Would never marry again, love my independence.
I was the high earner in the marriage, now I can spend my money how I want; not how he dictated.
Sad, but I have no desire to get into another relationship; feel too damaged after my experience.
And I am only in my early 50s.
Happy on my own, with my own home decorating as I like, and going on solo holidays.
Have one nearly grown up child, and another at uni.
He still is badgering me for money...
My trust in men is gone.
I would definitely like to get married because I selfishly would like the dress and the rings and I also think it would make my parents happy. My parents have a very happy marriage of 30 years, my boyfriends parents are also still married so I feel I have a lot of positive models.
However, I hate being the centre of attention and cry very easily in emotional situations. So it would be a very small, low key affair either at a registry office or overseas. I would only invite immediate family and one or two friends. I would rather spend the money on something else.
I would only take my husband’s name if I liked it much more than my own. Otherwise I can’t be bothered with the paperwork and don’t see the point.
I don’t think getting married would change anything at all within the relationship. My motivation for wanting to is probably societal expectations. I’m in no rush. I think to each their own. I know some people dream of a big wedding and they should go for it. However it’s so rude when people expect others should be married by a certain time. I think many aspects of marriage are outdated now and I am a feminist at heart.
However, I hate being the centre of attention and cry very easily in emotional situations. So it would be a very small, low key affair either at a registry office or overseas. I would only invite immediate family and one or two friends. I would rather spend the money on something else.
I would only take my husband’s name if I liked it much more than my own. Otherwise I can’t be bothered with the paperwork and don’t see the point.
I don’t think getting married would change anything at all within the relationship. My motivation for wanting to is probably societal expectations. I’m in no rush. I think to each their own. I know some people dream of a big wedding and they should go for it. However it’s so rude when people expect others should be married by a certain time. I think many aspects of marriage are outdated now and I am a feminist at heart.
This is Why I would never spend a lot on a wedding if i do get married that is .