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janedoe24

Member
Oh wow, thanks @mindlessness . And thanks to everyone who voted!


Let’s see, what has our Lidl Lyds been up to lately?


I’m no @Oops... , but I’ll try my hand at a little recap rhyme time . . .


Lidl’s Botox and filler have migrated, and Aldi’s lips are as bad as his wife’s . . .

But that’s just the beginning of Liedia’s strife.


She compared HER Karen Millen SALE edit items to myriad luxury designers . . .

But her arrogant behaviour led to many subscriber decliners.


Frow’s jewelry launch dinner got no Insta support from Lyds . . .

But Fleur’s event attendance had us asking, “why she be slummin’ it with these kids?”


Lidl reached 900K Insta followers with nothing to say . . .

But with Tattlers reporting her bought bots, we’ll surely spoil her day.


Regarding her greenhouse and gardening, unsolicited opinions are unwanted . . .

But building raised beds and another veg trug had CinderAli undaunted.


We’re hoping our Lidl tries to harvest “winter” veg . . .

But all of the spiders in her Alitex palace will certainly put her over the edge.


Aldi continued to show us the real nasty Lidl in his vlog . . .

But Lidl headed to Sussex and Brighton with her lapdog. (Cawwwie . . . and Bolly . . .)


This is a re-do, as her holiday at The Grove was wrecked . . .

That’s because she verbally assaulted a pregnant hairdresser – I checked.


She found herself a milking stool to complement her new copper tub . . .

Methinks she won’t be using her Globy kit in there for a good scrub.


According to the two twats, the pub was not worth booking . . .

But then, please compare their fare to Lyds’ Thermomix cooking.


Lyds insulted every pub, room service menu, and hotel around . . .

And on Cawwwie referring to the people they met as “middle class,” we frowned.


She’s back at Despina’s, she’s thrown Ruby to the curb . . .

Maybe now she’ll stop picking new hairdressers to disturb.


Despite multiple Olaplex treatments, her hair is still fried . . .

And we are still missing our community guidelines by which to abide.


The two besties drank warm, gifted wine by the side of the road from a plastic cup . . .

We’re sure Virgin Wines would consider that ad a major fuck-up.


Between the naked PR guy and the frenemy, she needs a management team . . .

But for her to join the profesh likes of Gleam is a far-off dream.


We’re still waiting to hear the GHD giveaway winner . . .

Instead, Lyds served tiny pants Aldi a congealed risotto dinner.


She’s consulting an interior decorator to help her finish her rooms . . .

Soon enough we’ll be up to our eyeballs again in Ken and Graham paint fumes.


A country Cotswolds manor The Bungalow is not . . .

She tried to claim she lives in Bucks, but her bins got her caught.


Sick Lumi was being a diva at the vets . . .

No surprise there – owners do take after their pets.


As an ambassador for Intimissimi, she’s been deceiving us about bra sizing . . .

But her taking of ideas and inspo from Tattle is uncompromising.


She’s getting her dream master bath vanity to hold all her free beauty . . .

But no amount of lisping baby voice can hide her being truly snooty.


Our slothy mole bought a sage green Lady Dior.

But with her content off the rails, her audience finds her a bore.


Tamara’s Fashion Week video makes you do a double-take . . .

I guess a cinched waist does not a fashion influencer make.


Her partnerships and sponsorships are drying up . . .

I guess that’s the consequence of telling your LEMmings to shut up.


She ditched Frow for Josie to get a Soho Farmhouse membership . . .

But hanging with Lidl is like a bad drug trip.


She shaded her Dior book tote and is now shilling the Chanel cosmetic range . . .

Her calling Aldi on the golf course about soil and spiders seemed a bit strange.


She told her followers not to come to her for good English as the grammar police . . .

But at £50 for plastic tat, she’ll come for her sheep to fleece.


She promoted Sali Hughes’ podcast, as a victim of online bullying and trolls . . .

From that Insta story, I could hear the Tattler eye rolls.


She plans to fill Ali fivehead’s future study with empty books . . .

We all know, with the M-Gs, it’s only about looks.


I expected another wine-fuelled, gifted “date” night written rant . . .

Oh right, I forgot, with weak wrists, she can’t.


She’s copying Josie and Frow’s dog content with Bolly . . .

But she won’t stop the clickbait titles and begging folly.


She’s at war with Cawwwie’s “friend” over Hula Hoops . . .

Her and her PAID friends sure are nincompoops.


She wants a sage Discovery as a new car . . .

There really is no limit as to how low she will set the beg bar.


While she’s at her beauty island giving herself a million eye fucks . . .

We all know she’ll never really shell out the big bucks.


While we welcome new members to our slightly thorny book club (@Pixiegirl ) . . .

Our CEO, FOUNDER, and all-around Boss Babe is busy wearing Zimmerman in a shrub.
 
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Elle Belle

Chatty Member
Vlog Thursday 15th Oct - More new shit. Just what the world needs right now. Yay!


- She's having a stressful morning. The type no one understands. Did someone binge on bitch flakes this morning Lydia? The trains to London have stopped running. She considered driving, but the only car available is the Aston and she doesn't want to drive around Mayfair behind something so powerful. So she's booked a taxi and she's livid as this has now doubled the cost of her hair. We're still in a global pandemic Lydia. I'd explain it to you but I'm out of crayons and puppets.
- She boasts she'll be hitting 900K in her ninth year of blogging. She still has a few weeks until her anniversary so will definitely make it. How up one's ass can one actually be? I think dildo is a perfectly acceptable insult. I'd call you a dick Lydia, but you're not real enough.
- She's done a full body fake tan. At this time of year she normally gets lazy and just does her face, chest and arms. Her legs remain white and hairy. Do you need some real sun Lydia because your behaviour is pretty shady?
- She says if she farts it's going in her phone calendar or she won't know it's happening. You are so bad at your job you might want to consider running for government.
- She lisps this is the biggest order she's ever done. We're gonna die apparently. You realise you said that out loud, right?
- She wears her items over and over again. She's a creature of habit. The Oliver Twist jacket makes an appearance. She asked people to comment, but lisps be nice. It must be exhausting being offended by everything.
- More cashmere. Yes I'd agree you look cute Lydia. 15 miles away. In the dark. To a blind person. At night. Behind a wall. In a ditch. With a bag over your head.
- She loves the Isabel Marant blouse she wants to buy it in another print. And the jumper, she wants in other colours. If I throw a lamp at you with you lighten up?
- She's ordered some chunky boots. She acknowledges she's got some weird fitting feet. Preach girrrl Preach. She lisps again let us know our opinion, but be nice. You don’t like drama? Funny how your name comes up as executive producer on every single episode around you!
- She likes the fact these have come from all different stores around the world. Sustai...well, aren’t you just a shiny little hypocrite polished in bullshit!
- She's got back from her hair appointment in London. She's having Dominos. VEG GARDEN. LOL. This is getting pretty awkward for the rest of us now.
- She does a big reveal of her new hair the next day. She fangs it's been 4 months of graft. She has a lot of breakage. It's insane. She feels like me again. She was there for 6 hours. She can now leave it alone. It's been a journey that she's not spoken about it in-depth. Lydia, so I was wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don't show?
- She got home at 11pm so had to have a lay in when everyone else was at work. Goodness that was close. I almost gave a damn.
- She's got Victoria's launch later. She actually bought her flowers. She changes the subject back to her edit and how it's all been a sellout so she'll need a big glass of whispering angel later to celebrate. I bet she spent the whole time at Frow's talking about her Lydia Millen cashmere.
- She thought the last thing she did with Chanel would be more beauty focused. She's always wanted to try their beauty products so they've gifted her them. Just not enough to buy them before though. Did your brain take a laxative because there is a lot of shit coming out of your mouth?
- She says Mr Ali Gordon is in for a treat with the new Chanel massage oil. He's not getting one. He gets to massage her. You’re like a bag of Pampers Lydia. Self absorbed and full of shit.
 
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K18

VIP Member
I’ve stumbled onto this thread and I’m sickened to be honest. Comment back all you need to but think about the fact you are spending hours criticising people on the internet. Maybe get a hobby?
Do you mean this doesn't qualify?
Maybe i'll go get some raised beds in my garden, paint them black and start growing fruit and veg at the beginning of winter instead.

You're a bit of a hypocrite though because I clicked on your profile and can see you were talking shit about some girl called Kayleigh in another thread 😂 😂

Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
 
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JMD

Well-known member
Lydia Millen #42 Nose in the air, still red in her hair, wannabe millionaire, still bossing Alistair
 
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Elle Belle

Chatty Member
Lydia Millen #43 Wonky coffin bed whining, bunga-bore redesigning, insta bots finally declining
 
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Oops...

VIP Member
Ode to a Chanel Espadrille

From a smart French Textile Mill
C’est Moi! A Chanel Espadrille
You should have seen me in my prime
I’d strut my stuff - I’d walk the line
The world was at my feet you know
Down any street I’d choose to go
The Wild Side’s where I walked at night
Tip-toeing under pale moonlight
Relentlessly I’d pick and choose
To walk a mile in my own shoes
I had no fear - I had no care
I walked in beauty and on air
Then came the day I lost my froth
They told me - You’re just rope and cloth!
I lost my shape - I lost my heart
My seams were rudely ripped apart
My side flapped wide and I grew tubby
My inner sole grew stained and grubby
So down at heart and down at heel
I lost my structure and appeal
Downhill I scuffed this dread tread-mill
A once beloved Espadrille
Now lying threadbare on the floor
They’ve sacked me off and locked the door
I’m only fit for prime land-fill
Take pity on this Espadrille
I’m bringing out my teeth and claws
And for a ton...I’ll be all yours...
 
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Elle Belle

Chatty Member
I’ve stumbled onto this thread and I’m sickened to be honest. Comment back all you need to but think about the fact you are spending hours criticising people on the internet. Maybe get a hobby?
Stumbled??? Then just had to read the poems and comments, then create an account, then comment. One small step for man, one giant stumble for Glittergirl567. 😂

You're entitled to your opinion, but don't bullshit us, you're clearly complicit too.
 
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Oops...

VIP Member
AS GRIM AS IT GETS...

Airy fairy, quite contrary
How do your raised beds grow?
The CAD boffin designed you a coffin
And now you must reap what you sow
They‘re dark and they’re gloomy
They’re too ruddy roomy
They’re lavatories only for pets
The view‘s hardly thrilling
They’re gross, they need filling
And this is as grim as it gets...

Just a little ditty for @Milking Keynes’ daughter xx❤ as promised...

(to be continued tomorrow with ‘Ode to a Chanel Espadrille’...)
 
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Elle Belle

Chatty Member
I've just watched her vlog sped up; can't deal with reviewing it knowing she's planning on renovating every room AGAIN! Ali and her must really hate each other's company to constantly want other people, not friends or family, in and out of their house. What really hit me though was that she's ordered jumpers and t-shirts with inspirational quotes on. Shook! 😂 What woman in their 30s, yet alone a fashion influencer, would walk around wearing a basic bitch 'live, love, laugh' or similar slogan. She's now LITERALLY saying it with her chest. 😂
 
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K18

VIP Member
Just an observation. If everything she does irritates you so much, why don’t you just not look instead of spending hours writing poems and comments about every little thing she does? I’m pretty sure if any of your social media handles were given to members of tattle they would rinse you to pieces as well...
Are you lost? I think you are in the wrong place!
 
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Oops...

VIP Member
Pete free soil...

...as in no Pete‘s were used..?

...personally I only use Sebastian free soil In my garden...

Re-Pete after me...
 
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Miscanthus

VIP Member
There once was a vlogger called Lidl,
Whose garden design was a riddle.
The beds were waist high,
"They're hard work," she would cry,
"And they're full of dead leaves and cat piddle."
 
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Purgerica

Well-known member
I just watched Ali's latest video and here are some thoughts:

He presents things/services properly; he explained in which region that chef guy works, what kind of menu/dietary needs he caters to, prices plus travel costs etc. You got all the relevant info which could help you decide if you want to hire him. If it was a favor for a family friend, then I think it was an even nicer gesture.
When Lydia is presenting something, it's just manic tearing of boxes accompanied by squealing and lisping, forgetting the company's name etc. - total mess.
Also, we often discuss how Ali stays because she's the one with the fame and money, the big house and cars are hers etc; I'm sure that's true up to a point but I think she's just been gaslighting him for so long that he just has no confidence in his own capabilities to achieve fame and material success (if that's what's keeping him with her).
Since they moved into 'her' house, her treatment of Ali has become unwatchable, he looks exhausted, in poor health and just works like an indentured servant while still finding time for his own channel and insta, occasional campaign etc.
I think he has a great work ethic and organisation skills and with proper guidance (an agent or business manager) he could grow his own brand without being Mr Millen Gordon.
It's so painfully obvious he needs to break off this unhealthy cycle of gaslighting and codependency and would thrive as a newly single, hard working, still young man who could vlog about starting over, fitness, creativity, decorating a bachelor's pad, dating in your early thirties, growing your own business... so many ideas come to mind.
Another interesting fact is that her biggest year/s of success were before she bought the house and when Ali was editing her into a likeable human being which she's obviously not, so it's not fair to say he gets popularity and viewers by being her husband; he actually is a big factor in getting her to the level of success she reached (and from which she's been freefalling since he stopped being her videographer/editor and started being her houseboy).

RANT OVER! 😫
 
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Miscanthus

VIP Member
Thanks @mindlessness for setting up the new thread and to @janedoe24 for the thread title (Globy gets a mention, yay! 😂) and absolutely brilliant (and rhyming) recap! ❤❤❤
Far more entertaining than the reality of life in the sage bungalow and extensive grounds!

I'm not going to apologise for wheeling out the same old list of things we are waiting for from the boss babe and her two assistants...but I've decorated them a bit! Suspect it's going to be after Vlogmas before anything happens!

😨 Community guidelines
🐝 Bees
🌻 Greenhouse order
😷 Blood test results
🏡 House facelift, porch and The Bungalow nameplate
👱‍♀️ GHD winner
🍳 Outdoor kitchen
🛌 Bedroom makeover
:poop:En suite Bathroom plans🛀🚽
🎬 Cinema room🎥
😈 Dressing room faults addressed
🤵 New dressing room for Ali
💻New office (former playroom/dining room/whisky room)
:mGloby update
 
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Morest

Well-known member
The worst ones are the filthy Chanel espadrilles. They are fit only for the bin. She’s after £100 for some down-at-heel, grimy eyesores. I would rather wear the £1 clock. Please can someone put them up? They are vile...
Glad your back. Do hope your ok ❤


Are these the shoes?
20201017_113603.jpg
20201017_113547.jpg
 
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