Londoners! I need help...

[123qwe1]

I agree on the lonely front, I look back at my 10 years and just think wow how did I last so long! I met some amazing friends but I often ended up eating out way too often, drinking way too much and being skint all of the time

thats so interesting! why do you think its lonely? in terms of making friends?

I’d also add to the Clapham (pre-COVID, so much to do, bars open til all hours, parks, BUT the tubes are a nightmare in the mornings), Canada Water/Surrey Quays, also Docklands. I know it’s DLR but most of it is served by a jubilee line near enough. Quiet, nice views of the Thames too.
One thing I would say though is not to go just yet - we have no idea what the next few months is going to hold, and as someone said above London has lost a lot of it’s sparkle. Without the 24hr nightlife, museums, galleries, theatre, endless options, London really is just an expensive shell. If I were you I’d wait a few months, save up a bit more money and then move March ish next year when hopefully we’re coming out the other side of this. Really hope that doesn’t sound patronising, just me and my OH are doing our best to get out of London now, lockdown really changed our world view!

no thats so helpfful thank you! why do you want to move out of there? and how old are you if you dont mind me asking? x

Seems to be quite a negative perception of london on here so far... does anyone have a positive experience of moving?

 

[HelloStereo]

thats so interesting! why do you think its lonely? in terms of making friends?



no thats so helpfful thank you! why do you want to move out of there? and how old are you if you dont mind me asking? x

Seems to be quite a negative perception of london on here so far... does anyone have a positive experience of moving?

I know you didn't quote me but I live in London and my experience as a whole has been positive. I'd echo people who say it can be lonely. You know the saying you can be surrounded by so many people and still feel lonely. It's not like a town where you bump into people you know in the street and have a good natter.

Having said that, if you really put yourself out there you can meet great people. I joined a Facebook group for meeting new people and have made friends from it. I got to know people from all walks of life, I have friends from France, Germany, Sweden, Lithuania, Latvia, Australia etc now. Just takes a bit of effort getting to know people.

If you find a place within your budget and have some money each month for socialising it can be great. But it depends on your expectations. It's difficult to get on the housing ladder or build savings if you want a slither of a social life, but it's a compromise between that and visiting the amazing places London has to offer.

I agree due to covid it has lost its sparkle a bit, we're moving into Tier 2 of restrictions so we won't be able to meet others indoors and obviously part of the reason people choose to live in London is because of all the new places you can visit with friends.

 

[ChloChlo]

Thing is London is very different to other parts of UK. It is a place where once you shut your front door, you are quite oblivious to your locality. Chances are living here, you wont even know what your neighbours look like. The busy atmosphere makes people just want to shut their door away from it all I think. Being lonely in London is actually quite a common statement! I think alot has to do with how many people and the variety of people that live there. Unlike a smaller city or town, spotting your own "tribe" can be like finding a needle in a haystack if you haven't already got an established friendship group. You are very very unlikely to just "bump" into someone you already know as it is as there are just SO many people - and that is coming from someone who was born and bred there.

As you are working it will be easy for you to strike up friendships with colleagues but again, there is the fact there are so many more different types of people here unlike the town I now live in, the chances they fit your "tribe" will be fairly slim. The more balls that go into the lottery machine, the less chances of your number coming in.

Alot, like anywhere depends on yourself and your people skills too - I think it requires a bit more effort down there, personally speaking, to maintain friendships. And also your finances can have a great effect, it is very costly there to go "out" and socialise here, so unless you can spare vast sums for it, most choose to stay indoors.

Us Londoners in general I find to be quite aloof. I live in the North now and Northerners are very friendly, they are also more nosey and have a desire to know their immediate surroundings. I have adopted Northern ways and when I go back down to London and smile or say morning to strangers as we do up here, they will look at you like you have asked them for one of their kidneys.

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

As the previous poster mentioned you’ve really put to put your else out there to make friends and be social, it’s quite easy to get lost in the process and end up spending the whole weekend in bed alone! Going to meet-ups is fun but sometimes you just miss those times you spend with your old friends that really know you, it’s a constant process of having to make the effort then introduce yourself all over again. It’s often quite transient ... you’ll have an amazing group of people to do things with then they’ll get bfs or move back home and you have to start again (You can also nearly bankrupt yourself attempting to make friends, bottomless brunches here £50 gone, drinks after work and an Uber home, bye bye £120 )

The London New Girl Facebook group is really good for finding things to do and meeting new people but that’s going to be super hard to do in tier 2 lockdown!

I really don’t want this to seem super negative, I’ve had some amazing times and loved my time in London ... bagels on brick lane, borough market on a Saturday, drinking mulled wine on the southbank, walking tours here there and everywhere but COVID really has changed the dynamic. I think I’m still in mourning for my old Shoreditch House life

 

[Lollypad]

thats so interesting! why do you think its lonely? in terms of making friends?



no thats so helpfful thank you! why do you want to move out of there? and how old are you if you dont mind me asking? x

Seems to be quite a negative perception of london on here so far... does anyone have a positive experience of moving?

Late twenties, we’re moving because we want a house. Honestly, I moved to London straight out of uni and it’s been some of the best years of my life I have absolutely no regrets (even the massive debt and being ripped off by my first scummy landlord is all life experience ) and I would 100% recommend London to anyone who wants a big city experience, you just need to see it at it’s best, and right now there aren’t the experiences available to justify the cost of living. Definitely move, I’d just say wait a teeny bit longer (but tbh I’d be going stir crazy if I were at home so up to you!)

 

[Booington]

I know my post was a bit negative but I moved away from London 2 years ago and miss it like mad, I don’t think people aren’t friendly there it’s just life is busier and you don’t necessarily see the same people on your commute for example, also a lot of the people you work with will be living outside of London, that was certainly the case where I last worked.

where I’ve moved to I don’t find the locals any friendlier, I’ve made friends due to the mum brigade but lots of people down here hate the Londoners who’ve moved down

 

[BettyCrocker]

I think it feel quite lonely just due to the sheer number of people there. It’s so busy, lots of people moving around, all trying to get from A-B and no one really wants to chat to “strangers” in the same way you would in a town or village. Everyone keeps themselves to themselves- I had no idea who my neighbours were/what the looked like. No one would say hello if you were waiting for a bus or whatever. No one would really make eye contact or smile. It sounds silly but that lack of basic interaction does start to make you feel really alone. At work everybody was pleasant but all had their own lives/friends outside of work and lived in various parts of the city and beyond so there wasn’t any social life outside of work in that sense and no one was interested in getting to know you or whatever. Everyone just seems quite closed off and wary - it makes it quite isolating if you don’t know many people.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I want to defend NW London there are some really lovely pockets within that area, crime isnt as bad in all parts. But yeah, rent is high! Especially kilburn/queens park/maida vale areas. Its all the stretch of Edgware Road so its close to central.

Yep i grew up super close to Queens Park and I loved having the park on my doorstep. The park still even has a small animal farm with goats and a sandpit area for little kids. There's lots of smaller shops. They would also do a regular farmer's market in the primary school. You could also easily walk down to Kilburn high road which has an Aldi which I love and it's two poundlands. It was close to Hampstead heath too!

Honestly I think it depends on your budget, but also on other things like will you be wanting to start a family soonish? How far would work be?

My closest friend lives in Walthamstow and loves it. I really liked the easy transport links from there too.

 

[Lollipop2123]

I lived in Clapham for 10 years and loved it. Not far from Brixton either. It's crazy expensive but all of london is tbh. Good luck !

 

[Lulu Goss]

I personally love living in London, but I’ve always lived here! I was born in Bermondsey and still have family there, I would have bought there if it was less expensive. As I mentioned in my earlier post I now live in zone four (not far from Greenwich) and love it here too.

 

[123qwe1]

Thanks so much guys its been so helpful

I do completely see what you mean though, that moving now would mean I would get a different experience Guess theres nothing to be done about that!

 

[mindlessness]

Hi! A few thoughts. I lived in London for 3 years before moving back to Australia and have plans to come back in 2021.

I would look at areas on the same tube line/s as Leicester Square to make your commute as easy as possible! So Northern Line or Piccadilly. Or maybe Central Line if you walk to Tottenham Court Rd. Then do some searches for flats/flat shares in your price range and look at where they're located (using street view or walks when Covid allows). That will give you a visual for the area and what you can afford.

Some questions worth asking yourself:
- Do you want to be near a good street with nightlife? A big park? A Lido?
- How easy do you want the trip abck to High Wycombe to be? How easy is getting to Marylebone for the train from your preferred locations?
- Where are you friends in London? All SE? Maybe don't move NW.

It can be lonely, for sure, so definitely join fb groups and seek out friends of friends and make an effort to form a community. You don't need to make 20 London friends, but a good few will definitely help!

London sometimes feels like a city made up of smaller villages/towns. I think looking just online can be pretty hard, so personally would definitely wait to move until Covid circumstances allow for you to visit different areas and get a feel for places. Don't think of this as a move forever and take a chance!

 

[Curly Top]

I have lived in areas around London for decades now. Mainly I lived in flats, so I found that I did get to know my neighbours and most of them were friendly and decent.

I started off in Streatham, which is a small train ride into Victoria or bus to Brixton and then tube into central London. It's a bit scruffy but I had a great time there. There is a big music scene in nearby Brixton, only a bus ride away.
I lived in Battersea, which was is fairly upmarket. Buzzy and close to Clapham which is full of restaurants and cool places. A nice park too. I used to love catching the bus over the bridge to Battersea from the King's Road.
I spent time in Chiswick which is a safe, affluent area in West London. If you are able to commute from here and afford it, it's a great place to live. Leafy wide streets, interesting shops and family orientated. It's also close to Heathrow.
For many years I lived in Cricklewood. It is a Irish area. It does have a very bustling feel to it. Lots of cafes - and big boozers. It's a fairly tough place and not the most attractive. There was a small theatre in Kilburn when I was there. You can get about very easily by bus and I was a regular at Brent Cross shopping centre, which I love.
I next moved to the East. First to Leytonstone, which on the Central Line and quick to get into town. It was while since I lived there and in the interim it has developed a more busy vibe. There are great cafes and lively pubs there. The food shops are interesting - a lot of polish ones. There is a fantastic hairdresser there.
Next came Bow, which is excellent for the city. It does have a us versus them vibe as people who've lived there for years resent the new moneyed workers moving in. There are some very expensive properties there. It has the fantastic Roman Road market and Victoria Park, which is a beautiful place. The provisions for young children are exceptionally good - play areas and places to take them - museums etc.
Now I'm in Redbridge - in Towie land. It's still a London borough and on the tube, but it has a more suburban feel. Lots of families, the forest is stunning, lots of sports clubs and great schools.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Cricklewood has really lost its Irish crowd, all across Brent actually. A lot moved back home which is a shame, its definitely lost a bit of charm.

 

[Curly Top]

Cricklewood has really lost its Irish crowd, all across Brent actually. A lot moved back home which is a shame, its definitely lost a bit of charm.

That's a shame. I remember queues of Irish labourers waiting to be picked up for building jobs early in the morning and seeing them in their suits on Sundays, pretty merry by the evening in the pubs.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

That's a shame. I remember queues of Irish labourers waiting to be picked up for building jobs early in the morning and seeing them in their suits on Sundays, pretty merry by the evening in the pubs.

Yep! The bank holidays were a big session, suits and off to the Galty, and the Crown. Its very very different now!

 

[Curly Top]

I remember the Crown. Great big Victorian pile next-door to McDonalds. Absolutely full of cigarette smoke and lots of happy pissed Irish folk.

I watched the recent Dennis Nilsen drama and heard that the house he killed his first victims was Melrose Avenue. That rang a bell and then I realised it is in Cricklewood not far from my flat

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I remember the Crown. Great big Victorian pile next-door to McDonalds. Absolutely full of cigarette smoke and lots of happy pissed Irish folk.

I watched the recent Dennis Nilsen drama and heard that the house he killed his first victims was Melrose Avenue. That rang a bell and then I realised it is in Cricklewood not far from my flat

Its a great building, tit pub now though. Sadly! I had a few good nights in there, it was a favourite haunt of my Dads too. Theres only a few pubs left now, I think the Lucky Seven will be the last one to go. They still have their crowd!

I didnt know that about Nilsen!

 

[Curly Top]

I reckon we've put the OP right of Cricklewood now

 

[judgejohndeed]

I lived in zone 5 most of my life, have moved to the north west and hate it tbh! Hoping to move back to London in the next couple of years and we’ll be looking at Balham most likely. I personally prefer south of the river and I find being on the northern line is ideal. I also really like around Clapham Common, have been told it’s really studenty but that doesn’t really bother me tbh.