How is everyone with affection? My boyfriend next to never shows me affection and it really gets me down. Just curious as to what others’ partners are like etc?
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My husband and I are very affectionate and tactile with each other, always have been.
we hold hands, Cuddle, kiss etc whenever we are together, And all the little things like a quick pat on the bum as we move around each other in the kitchen or just rubbing each others legs or arms as we watch tv or whatever. We are a very hands on couple, in a nice way!!!
has your partner always been this way? Do you ever try to initiate anything and if so how does he react?
Sorry to hear that 
When I first met my bf he wasn‘t much of an affectionate person. We fought quite a bit because I often felt alone and like he just didn‘t care when I had a bad day because I‘m very affectionate and need lots of hugs, touching etc.
We‘ll be together 5 years in July and I feel like over the last 6 months we finally found a common ground but it took lots of talking (and fighting) aswell as just explaining over and over again on my part (he just could not understand why a hug would make me feel better).
So definitely talk about it and try to explain your needs but do keep in mind that it is also important to respect the other persons needs. But I‘m sure you‘ll be able to find a common ground you both feel comfortable with
When I first met my bf he wasn‘t much of an affectionate person. We fought quite a bit because I often felt alone and like he just didn‘t care when I had a bad day because I‘m very affectionate and need lots of hugs, touching etc.
We‘ll be together 5 years in July and I feel like over the last 6 months we finally found a common ground but it took lots of talking (and fighting) aswell as just explaining over and over again on my part (he just could not understand why a hug would make me feel better).
So definitely talk about it and try to explain your needs but do keep in mind that it is also important to respect the other persons needs. But I‘m sure you‘ll be able to find a common ground you both feel comfortable with
Can you do a fun love langauge test with each other and hope it leads onto a conversation? X
That’s good to hear that you guys are in nice loving relationships. I’m not much of a touchy person anyway but I literally get nothing from him! I’ve looked at the love languages before and I am pretty sure he is none of them 
. I love words of affirmation but I don’t get that either. He never compliments me. I’ve brought it up before a few times and he says he will change but doesn’t. I know it seems like he isn’t into me but he’s said he still wants to be with me. Just don’t know how long I can put up with the lack of affection and compliments etc. X
. I love words of affirmation but I don’t get that either. He never compliments me. I’ve brought it up before a few times and he says he will change but doesn’t. I know it seems like he isn’t into me but he’s said he still wants to be with me. Just don’t know how long I can put up with the lack of affection and compliments etc. XYou don’t need to and shouldn’t have to wait for anything to change. In my experience, people don’t just change!! If he’s never been affectionate or tactile with you and has never really been complimentary then honestl, it’s just not going to happen im afraid. Ask yourself Then why are you with him? What are you getting out of the relationship?That’s good to hear that you guys are in nice loving relationships. I’m not much of a touchy person anyway but I literally get nothing from him! I’ve looked at the love languages before and I am pretty sure he is none of them
He is the way He is. And he won’t/can’t and shouldn’t have to change. But if what you want is something that he isnt offering you and you feel like that’s something that’s lacking in the relationship and something you want & need from a partner (which is perfectly understandable and normal) Then i guess you have to ask yourself what’s the point of staying with him? Your not fulfilled with him or by him so maybe it’s just not meant to be. Life is too short to live it half way there, so please don’t just settle when you clearly aren’t happy.
My partner is really affectionate and also makes supportive and kind comments, but I think it’s because his family is affectionate and supportive, so he has learned this from them.
I come from a none tactile family, who don’t do kind words or words of support and I’m not very affectionate at all and I do struggle to remember to make nice comments. Although I have tried hard to work on that and I am getting better, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. My partner doesn’t mind, not sure he notices as he’s so affectionate anyway.
I come from a none tactile family, who don’t do kind words or words of support and I’m not very affectionate at all and I do struggle to remember to make nice comments. Although I have tried hard to work on that and I am getting better, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. My partner doesn’t mind, not sure he notices as he’s so affectionate anyway.
My husband is very affectionate and I'm not (although i wish i was). I wasn't brought up with love and affection whereas he was told he was loved, hugged etc. All of that is alien to me.
We have discussed it in the past and have now reached a happy medium
We have discussed it in the past and have now reached a happy medium
He holds my hand, grabs me by the waist to pull me close for kisses at any chance he gets, snuggles into me etc but he struggles to be affection with words. For a long time he didn’t know how to accept it from me as he hadn’t felt wanted before.
I’m not always great at showing either but I’m getting better
We can’t have enough of each other during sex though.
I’m not always great at showing either but I’m getting better
We can’t have enough of each other during sex though.
I used to be in a relationship like that, I never received compliments or reassurance etc., and it ended up having a negative impact on my self-esteem and confidence. I spoke to him several times about it and I explained why it was important to me, and still nothing changed. In the end I broke up with him because we were just incompatible in more ways than one and my needs were not being met. So I suppose my advice is, just check whether he is meeting your needs, or willing to compromise and meet you halfway. If something is this important to you and affects how you feel, you shouldn't have to beg someone to want to make you happy.
Thank you for this I totally agree with you and I’m the exact same. I have explained several times why it’s important but nothing changes. I wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t that kind of person but he was at the start but now feel he has got too comfortable and just takes me for granted. We shall see
I totally understand where you're coming from, and it's difficult not to take it personally when it feels like the person isn't making as much effort, or as you've said, gotten comfortable and started taking you for granted. It's a horrible feeling! Have you told him that that's how it makes you feel? Maybe he doesn't understand just how important it is to you.
Also try looking at it this way, if it was the other way around, and your partner told you that he wasn't feeling appreciated, would you make effort to make them feel appreciated? If you would do it for him, I think you have every right to expect the same from him.
Second this because I feel like I could have written this about one if my exes! Luckily current bf is very affectionate and I feel a lot more secure so I agree with really thinking about if your needs are being met and how willing they are to take your feelings on board
My husband really struggles to show affection day-to-day. Sometimes it bothers me but then I try and be more consciously aware of how he shows love through other, more practical, actions and I can see it. Like others in this thread we were raised completely differently. I was constantly hugged, told I was loved, etc. and I don’t think that’s something he had modelled to him as a child with so he can be really uncomfortable with it. However, he is raising our child to know just how much he is loved and not repeating his parents’ mistakes and that’s important to me.
I've been with my husband 11 years, we kiss good bye and good night, can't actually remember the last time we held hands. I would love to be more tactile but it is what it is.
Our children are the most affectionate little things, which is quite odd but I love it!
I would love to be more tactile but it is what it is. Our children are the most affectionate little things, which is quite odd but I love it!