Jealousy

Kirstyroo · Aug 29, 2021

Another one here who gets jealous of big, happy families. I’m youngest of 4 but we were never close siblings. My dad often told me having kids wasn’t his choice, “especially not 4” (even nicer to hear when you were the fourth!) - even now, I’ve just had a little boy, and my dad hasn’t met him because all he cares about is himself. I want my boy to have a big happy family, but I’m recognising that when his grandparents on my partners side want to spend lots of time with him, it’s making me uncomfortable… I think it’s because I never had that close family upbringing and it makes me feel really weird! I definitely think it’s a form of jealousy.

jamiegirl · Aug 29, 2021

I'm not a jealous person thankfully. If I want something I work hard & get it. I was also blessed to grow up with great, loving, generous, hardworking, caring, nurturing parents who gave me a fantastic life. We had plenty of everything. I now have a life I am happy & content with. I never understood jealousy. I was always taught to be happy for others and if you want something make it happen. That's just my two cents lol. Never be bitter and jealous. Everyone sees through it.

I've had people be jealous of me before.

As a kid, other kids were jealous of my toys, clothes, bedroom etc. But I always shared.

As a teen, I had others jealous of my clothes, money, looks, popularity at school. Again, I always shared and was kind. It was all teenage, shallow stuff

But as an adult, i find people.can be jealous of my house, car, job, holidays, but the mostbi found shocking was a somebody told me they were jealous of the close, fun relationship i have with my family. And was told they were jealous of how loving my parents were

All I can say to jealous people is its making you unhappy, not the people your jealous of.

By the way Im not painting myself to some multi-billionaire, supermodel with a perfect life because I'm not. But I work hard and live comfortably and had a great childhood

Littlemisadoughnut · Aug 29, 2021

jamiegirl said:
I'm not a jealous person thankfully. If I want something I work hard & get it. I was also blessed to grow up with great, loving, generous, hardworking, caring, nurturing parents who gave me a fantastic life. We had plenty of everything. I now have a life I am happy & content with. I never understood jealousy. I was always taught to be happy for others and if you want something make it happen. That's just my two cents lol. Never be bitter and jealous. Everyone sees through it.

I've had people be jealous of me before.

As a kid, other kids were jealous of my toys, clothes, bedroom etc. But I always shared.

As a teen, I had others jealous of my clothes, money, looks, popularity at school. Again, I always shared and was kind. It was all teenage, shallow stuff

But as an adult, i find people.can be jealous of my house, car, job, holidays, but the mostbi found shocking was a somebody told me they were jealous of the close, fun relationship i have with my family. And was told they were jealous of how loving my parents were

All I can say to jealous people is its making you unhappy, not the people your jealous of.

By the way Im not painting myself to some multi-billionaire, supermodel with a perfect life because I'm not. But I work hard and live comfortably and had a great childhood

I feel like it would be hard for you to understand, because you were born with such privileges. The mere fact you can’t empathise with feelings of jealousy suggests you don’t know how lucky you are, and how easily things can change IMO

jamiegirl · Aug 29, 2021

Kirstyroo said:
Another one here who gets jealous of big, happy families. I’m youngest of 4 but we were never close siblings. My dad often told me having kids wasn’t his choice, “especially not 4” (even nicer to hear when you were the fourth!) - even now, I’ve just had a little boy, and my dad hasn’t met him because all he cares about is himself. I want my boy to have a big happy family, but I’m recognising that when his grandparents on my partners side want to spend lots of time with him, it’s making me uncomfortable… I think it’s because I never had that close family upbringing and it makes me feel really weird! I definitely think it’s a form of jealousy.

Its really amazing & lovely they want to spend time with him. Its an absolute blessing and precious time. You should be over the moon. He's their family and they love him. Nothing to be uncomfortable about. Try and find the happiness & positivity in it because some people are awful & bitter and don't care about kids or grandkids. The more love your kid can be around, the better it is for him, his development, his relationships, his mental health as he grows & his memories

Littlemisadoughnut said:
I feel like it would be hard for you to understand, because you were born with such privileges. The mere fact you can’t empathise with feelings of jealousy suggests you don’t know how lucky you are, and how easily things can change IMO

Excuse me, I am well aware of how lucky I am. Trust me I have had unimaginable painful, hurtful experiences & stress in life. I have witnessed extreme things. Jealousy doesn't only happen if you are not privileged. Please don't tell me "facts" or how you "feel" about me when you don't know me and never even spoken with me. You have no business saying I can't empathise. How in Gods name would you know. Anyway I am not getting into a debate with a stranger who doesn't know me and is jumping to conclusions about me. So I will be ignoring anything you have to say as I really don't care for false, irrelevant opinions about me

Littlemisadoughnut · Aug 30, 2021

jamiegirl said:
Excuse me, I am well aware of how lucky I am. Trust me I have had unimaginable painful, hurtful experiences & stress in life. I have witnessed extreme things. Jealousy doesn't only happen if you are not privileged. Please don't tell me "facts" or how you "feel" about me when you don't know me and never even spoken with me. You have no business saying I can't empathise. How in Gods name would you know. Anyway I am not getting into a debate with a stranger who doesn't know me and is jumping to conclusions about me. So I will be ignoring anything you have to say as I really don't care for false, irrelevant opinions about me

Maybe you should reconsider whether these people were jealous of you, or in fact just found you insufferable and annoying

Oohthedrama · Aug 30, 2021

Littlemisadoughnut said:
Maybe you should reconsider whether these people were jealous of you, or in fact just found you insufferable and annoying

I can’t even break this argument up because I’m reading that post thinking I feel jealous of the peasants around her

the self restraint they must have and ability to bite their tongue
That’s some skill.

I really didn’t know if it was a troll post but I went to the last 3 things you purchased thread
I still don’t know but I want a new car, new phone and a small bottle of water please.

Kirstyroo · Aug 30, 2021

jamiegirl said:
Its really amazing & lovely they want to spend time with him. Its an absolute blessing and precious time. You should be over the moon. He's their family and they love him. Nothing to be uncomfortable about. Try and find the happiness & positivity in it because some people are awful & bitter and don't care about kids or grandkids. The more love your kid can be around, the better it is for him, his development, his relationships, his mental health as he grows & his memories

Thanks - I didn’t really need you to tell me that though, as I am fully aware! And as stated in my post, I WANT my boy to have a big, happy family. Like I said, I just recognise it makes me feel uncomfortable and it’s not quite as simple as “find happiness” in it when you have grown up with some kind of trauma. It doesn’t mean I’m not trying though and if anything I’m pleased I am able to understand where it has come from so that I can work on it.

Jealousy

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