Jealousy

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I wouldn’t call it jealousy, (I don’t think, but maybe it is?), but I do get this sick feeling in my stomach when I see people with happy family relationships.
I had a difficult childhood, I now don’t see my half sisters or my dad and my relationship with my mum is strained. My mum brought me up as a single parent from when I was born and I saw my dad on and off.

I would give anything to have grown up in a house with a happy mum and dad, to have that happy family life that some people have, to go on family holidays with my parents and to have a Christmas Day that didn’t result in the police nearly being called.

adverts like the Haven ad always made me sick to the stomach.

 

[Nebbymoo]

I get jealous of the shit people who seem to be loved and cared about by others. Watching my husbands family cut him off for wanting to go out and live his life while his rancid revolting sister is adored dispite the awful and heartbreaking things shes put people through. Doesnt make sense and absolutely is not fair.

 

[Littlemisadoughnut]

Excuse me, I am well aware of how lucky I am. Trust me I have had unimaginable painful, hurtful experiences & stress in life. I have witnessed extreme things. Jealousy doesn't only happen if you are not privileged. Please don't tell me "facts" or how you "feel" about me when you don't know me and never even spoken with me. You have no business saying I can't empathise. How in Gods name would you know. Anyway I am not getting into a debate with a stranger who doesn't know me and is jumping to conclusions about me. So I will be ignoring anything you have to say as I really don't care for false, irrelevant opinions about me

Maybe you should reconsider whether these people were jealous of you, or in fact just found you insufferable and annoying

 

[Littlemisadoughnut]

I'm not a jealous person thankfully. If I want something I work hard & get it. I was also blessed to grow up with great, loving, generous, hardworking, caring, nurturing parents who gave me a fantastic life. We had plenty of everything. I now have a life I am happy & content with. I never understood jealousy. I was always taught to be happy for others and if you want something make it happen. That's just my two cents lol. Never be bitter and jealous. Everyone sees through it.

I've had people be jealous of me before.

As a kid, other kids were jealous of my toys, clothes, bedroom etc. But I always shared.

As a teen, I had others jealous of my clothes, money, looks, popularity at school. Again, I always shared and was kind. It was all teenage, shallow stuff

But as an adult, i find people.can be jealous of my house, car, job, holidays, but the mostbi found shocking was a somebody told me they were jealous of the close, fun relationship i have with my family. And was told they were jealous of how loving my parents were

All I can say to jealous people is its making you unhappy, not the people your jealous of.

By the way Im not painting myself to some multi-billionaire, supermodel with a perfect life because I'm not. But I work hard and live comfortably and had a great childhood

I feel like it would be hard for you to understand, because you were born with such privileges. The mere fact you can’t empathise with feelings of jealousy suggests you don’t know how lucky you are, and how easily things can change IMO

 

[Littlemisadoughnut]

On the flip side to those above who are jealous of people there age who are married…

I’ve been with my partner for 10 years and we are married. But I am so bored and am so jealous of those that are single! The thought of going to bed and sleeping next to him now is filling me with dread. he will be snoring away, breath smelling, taking up all the bed. We haven’t had sex in 2 years.

Not everything is as it seems on the surface!

 

[WilmaHun]

I don't know if I'd call it jealousy but I definitely look at other peoples lives a lot and wonder "why hasn't mine panned out that way". I come from a large family of mostly females, I am the youngest of all the cousins. I look at all my older cousins and wish my life had have gone the way theirs has. I am 25, no children, now buying a house (although have been living in rented for a little while), not married. By the time each of my female cousins were 25 they were married, with at least 1 child, and owning their homes.

I know everyones lives pan out differently so I shouldn't compare, but it's really hard not to. I've been with my partner a long time, 8 years, and I often find myself feeling envious of others who are engaged, with children etc wondering "what's so wrong with me that he doesn't want to commit after all this time?"

 

[1001 others]

Not jealousy, more envy ...

It's hard not to feel envious of people who boast about fabulous lifestyles ... but I just remind myself that people only show and tell you what they want you to know ... they could well be laden with debt, or only able to find joy in material things - which is a bit sad.

 

[LittleMy]

I’m not an overly jealous person, and definitely not in the sense of being jealous of material things. “Stuff” doesn’t matter to me, at the end of the day it’s just stuff and you can’t take it with you when you die.

I am a bit jealous of people who don’t have the struggles that I do but I remind myself that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and those people will have their own problems. I used to get a bit jealous of my friends who had wonderful dads that cared about them, when mine abandoned me as a child and hasn’t been in my life since. These days I feel envious of people who can take their children anywhere and do normal, fun things without the stress of having to plan ahead to avoid overwhelming their childen, triggering meltdowns or their child running away from them with no awareness of danger. I used to feel envious of people who’s children asked them lots of questions and wanted to chat to them when mine couldn’t even say “mummy.”

I’m not bitter about it, it’s a fleeting feeling that comes and goes but I’m sure other people in similar situations must feel the same.

 

[BattleAxer]

I get jealous, or envious rather of large, loving families. The type that do everything together. I had two siblings who rarely hung out with me, one was massively into her friends and didn't want me intruding and the other has Aspergers and is so aloof I know little about him. I had cousins who are part of a very large sibling group who were all very loyal to one another and I was always very jealous of it growing up. I barely even got a word out of my siblings growing up. Having a huge family of my own didn't appeal to me, it was the siblings I desired. This was somewhat triggered when I moved next door to a family who were very close, they would often invite their extended relatives over, I could often hear them on their karaoke, having a laugh and would get very upset my own family was too stiff to let loose round each other. I don't think I have overcome it fully but seeing other situations with people from larger families where it isn't so fine and dandy helped. Along with age, maturity and acceptance.

I struggled to conceive my first child, he took many years. And with it I got a really upsetting form of jealousy... I couldn't bare knowing of pregnancy announcements. I couldn't bring myself to be happy for anyone, nor could I talk about it. It was a lonely world and I felt desperately jealous of women who seemed to get pregnant at the drop of a hat and resented it - I felt awful that I couldn't shift the negative emotions I had. This only subsided when I did get pregnant. It was probably my first real experience of deep rooted jealousy.

 

[1001 others]

... I also must remember facebook and insta is not real life.

There is so much weight in those words! It's worth remembering that *most* people only show you what they want you to see.

 

[Belulah]

I don't know if I'd call it jealousy but I definitely look at other peoples lives a lot and wonder "why hasn't mine panned out that way". I come from a large family of mostly females, I am the youngest of all the cousins. I look at all my older cousins and wish my life had have gone the way theirs has. I am 25, no children, now buying a house (although have been living in rented for a little while), not married. By the time each of my female cousins were 25 they were married, with at least 1 child, and owning their homes.

I know everyones lives pan out differently so I shouldn't compare, but it's really hard not to. I've been with my partner a long time, 8 years, and I often find myself feeling envious of others who are engaged, with children etc wondering "what's so wrong with me that he doesn't want to commit after all this time?"

Two of my second cousins are getting married next year (not to eachother though we are in Norfolk)- I’ve never had anyone even fancy me. I’m green! I’d love the excitement of a relationship, engaged and a wedding! Somethings aren’t meant to be.
You seem in a really good place about to buy your own place at a young age. Buying a house together is much more of a commitment then babies or rings.

 

[Oohthedrama]

Maybe you should reconsider whether these people were jealous of you, or in fact just found you insufferable and annoying

I can’t even break this argument up because I’m reading that post thinking I feel jealous of the peasants around her

the self restraint they must have and ability to bite their tongue
That’s some skill.

I really didn’t know if it was a troll post but I went to the last 3 things you purchased thread
I still don’t know but I want a new car, new phone and a small bottle of water please.

 

[TheScarletgirl]

I wouldn't say i am a jealous type however a few ex's have gotten married or had babies recently and i sometimes wonder why i wasn't good enough and why are they living happy when they were so cruel to me. I know they were not my one and am on a different path but it can be frustrating. I just need to focus on myself and my own relationship. I also must remember facebook and insta is not real life.

 

[jamiegirl]

I'm not a jealous person thankfully. If I want something I work hard & get it. I was also blessed to grow up with great, loving, generous, hardworking, caring, nurturing parents who gave me a fantastic life. We had plenty of everything. I now have a life I am happy & content with. I never understood jealousy. I was always taught to be happy for others and if you want something make it happen. That's just my two cents lol. Never be bitter and jealous. Everyone sees through it.

I've had people be jealous of me before.

As a kid, other kids were jealous of my toys, clothes, bedroom etc. But I always shared.

As a teen, I had others jealous of my clothes, money, looks, popularity at school. Again, I always shared and was kind. It was all teenage, shallow stuff

But as an adult, i find people.can be jealous of my house, car, job, holidays, but the mostbi found shocking was a somebody told me they were jealous of the close, fun relationship i have with my family. And was told they were jealous of how loving my parents were

All I can say to jealous people is its making you unhappy, not the people your jealous of.

By the way Im not painting myself to some multi-billionaire, supermodel with a perfect life because I'm not. But I work hard and live comfortably and had a great childhood

 

[karmadrama]

I don’t get jealous of others’ lives or relationships because I know a lot of what we see/hear is an illusion. Social media doesn’t reflect real life and the lengths some people go to, to portray this perfect image is actually quite sad.

Couple of things that I do get envious of… people with big, close families, because I’ve never had that.
And also women who have nice bodies but that’s only because I’ve had kids and I absolutely hate mine

 

[Sunflower91]

I definitely feel jealous looking around at friends and family who are settled in their own house with someone they love. I chose to move to London and focus on work for a while and been really unlucky in love. And I kind of realised it’s okay to be jealous and want those things if at the same time I accept there’s party of my life they would want too. Nobody has everything perfect.

 

[Pinkii]

I definitely feel jealous looking around at friends and family who are settled in their own house with someone they love. I chose to move to London and focus on work for a while and been really unlucky in love. And I kind of realised it’s okay to be jealous and want those things if at the same time I accept there’s party of my life they would want too. Nobody has everything perfect.

If I’m honest this is what I envy in my single friends and esp one’s who live in london.

don’t get me wrong, i have a great husband and 2 beautiful healthy kids, but sometimes i do envy the young free life of others, I actually loved being single and wished I could have afforded to live in London but unfortunately life circumstances sent me in different directions

as im getting older though I am
Less envious of people, i always remind myself the things I have is what someone else wishes for, so as you said no one has everything

 

[Sheabutter]

That is a lot of mouths to feed! Pets are the stuff of life though 🥲 I’d die to have my own chickens.

 

[Sheabutter]

These family posts are hitting home. I was always left out of my older brothers games and as a result, I was desperate for a younger sibling. My school friends had younger sisters whom they were very close to and I was envious of those relationships. I know that sister relationships are not all wonderful or great all of the time, but the jealousy is still there.

 

[ChampagneBox]

I don't know if I'd call it jealousy but I definitely look at other peoples lives a lot and wonder "why hasn't mine panned out that way". I come from a large family of mostly females, I am the youngest of all the cousins. I look at all my older cousins and wish my life had have gone the way theirs has. I am 25, no children, now buying a house (although have been living in rented for a little while), not married. By the time each of my female cousins were 25 they were married, with at least 1 child, and owning their homes.

I know everyones lives pan out differently so I shouldn't compare, but it's really hard not to. I've been with my partner a long time, 8 years, and I often find myself feeling envious of others who are engaged, with children etc wondering "what's so wrong with me that he doesn't want to commit after all this time?"

My situation isn’t exactly the same as yours but I feel you!