Jealousy

[Kirstyroo]

Another one here who gets jealous of big, happy families. I’m youngest of 4 but we were never close siblings. My dad often told me having kids wasn’t his choice, “especially not 4” (even nicer to hear when you were the fourth!) - even now, I’ve just had a little boy, and my dad hasn’t met him because all he cares about is himself. I want my boy to have a big happy family, but I’m recognising that when his grandparents on my partners side want to spend lots of time with him, it’s making me uncomfortable… I think it’s because I never had that close family upbringing and it makes me feel really weird! I definitely think it’s a form of jealousy.

 

[Kirstyroo]

Its really amazing & lovely they want to spend time with him. Its an absolute blessing and precious time. You should be over the moon. He's their family and they love him. Nothing to be uncomfortable about. Try and find the happiness & positivity in it because some people are awful & bitter and don't care about kids or grandkids. The more love your kid can be around, the better it is for him, his development, his relationships, his mental health as he grows & his memories

Thanks - I didn’t really need you to tell me that though, as I am fully aware! And as stated in my post, I WANT my boy to have a big, happy family. Like I said, I just recognise it makes me feel uncomfortable and it’s not quite as simple as “find happiness” in it when you have grown up with some kind of trauma. It doesn’t mean I’m not trying though and if anything I’m pleased I am able to understand where it has come from so that I can work on it.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’m not a jealous person, it’s one of the worst traits to have when it’s projected onto others.
I’d say jealousy and envy were different though.

 

[Sheabutter]

Not jealousy, more envy ...

It's hard not to feel envious of people who boast about fabulous lifestyles ... but I just remind myself that people only show and tell you what they want you to know ... they could well be laden with debt, or only able to find joy in material things - which is a bit sad.

In fairness, New Zealand is expensive af. I am amazed that the men and women I met from there could afford to put themselves together so nicely.

(Not to be creepy but I’m never not going to notice when someone outs themselves as a kiwi )

 

[Sogdhitalley]

Who or what are you jealous of?
Have you overcome the jealousy? If so, How did you do it?

 

[1001 others]

In fairness, New Zealand is expensive af. I am amazed that the men and women I met from there could afford to put themselves together so nicely.

(Not to be creepy but I’m never not going to notice when someone outs themselves as a kiwi )

It is! Our grocery spend for a house of 2 x humans, 3 x cats, 2 x dogs and 3 x hens is about $1k a month - and we do not have luxuries! (Some people will probably say pets are a luxury though).

 

[jamiegirl]

Another one here who gets jealous of big, happy families. I’m youngest of 4 but we were never close siblings. My dad often told me having kids wasn’t his choice, “especially not 4” (even nicer to hear when you were the fourth!) - even now, I’ve just had a little boy, and my dad hasn’t met him because all he cares about is himself. I want my boy to have a big happy family, but I’m recognising that when his grandparents on my partners side want to spend lots of time with him, it’s making me uncomfortable… I think it’s because I never had that close family upbringing and it makes me feel really weird! I definitely think it’s a form of jealousy.

Its really amazing & lovely they want to spend time with him. Its an absolute blessing and precious time. You should be over the moon. He's their family and they love him. Nothing to be uncomfortable about. Try and find the happiness & positivity in it because some people are awful & bitter and don't care about kids or grandkids. The more love your kid can be around, the better it is for him, his development, his relationships, his mental health as he grows & his memories

I feel like it would be hard for you to understand, because you were born with such privileges. The mere fact you can’t empathise with feelings of jealousy suggests you don’t know how lucky you are, and how easily things can change IMO

Excuse me, I am well aware of how lucky I am. Trust me I have had unimaginable painful, hurtful experiences & stress in life. I have witnessed extreme things. Jealousy doesn't only happen if you are not privileged. Please don't tell me "facts" or how you "feel" about me when you don't know me and never even spoken with me. You have no business saying I can't empathise. How in Gods name would you know. Anyway I am not getting into a debate with a stranger who doesn't know me and is jumping to conclusions about me. So I will be ignoring anything you have to say as I really don't care for false, irrelevant opinions about me