Jack Monroe #311 Please consider the environment before printing this thread

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Emmapism]

I think this may have been lost in the chaos of last night/this morning but I am DYING at Jack talking about pitching shows to her 'industry friends' that she has 'scripted' and 'assembled cast and crew'.

Have ye, aye?

First off, no. That isn't how it works. You don't do the scripting. And you definitely don't start scripting alongside a pitch. The pitch is the hook. Why would you start writing something that hadn't been signed off by the channel? Stop trying to pretend you know how TV works Jack. You're embarrassing yourself. If they said they liked it and it went nowhere.......it's because you've no idea and they know their jobs better than you do.

You would have almost nothing to do with the scripting, cast or crew. Who do you think you are?

 

[Veronicaaa]

u ok hun

 

[BubbleDuck]

Brb, off to Jack’s local Waitrose Asda to gently softly litter some shopping lists across the car park, trolly park and surrounding areas. With any luck Jack will stumble upon one and be so inspired to write a story about it she will have no time for being a dick
on Twitter

ps , I know Jack has spoken at length about the deprived neighbourhood they live in . Will I be safe with just a Glastonbury stab vest , or do I need to go full riot gear ?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

She most certainly is…

 

[NomDeGuerre]

You ok hun? Ouchy mouth eh?
View attachment 1287305

Now I’m no Doctor Hilary Jones but if you’ve got HIDEOUS toothache, a spicy noodle sandwich at 2am isn’t a recommended treatment, is it?

 

[Veronicaaa]

I genuinely have no idea what she was on about last night. Waking up to it is like

 

[Veronicaaa]

I'm sorry, but what on earth was her original point meant to be? I must have missed it too

Good luck with that hun x

 

[HotesTilaire]

Can I ask, is the dentist cupping your cheek just a private dentist thing or do people also get it from NHS dentists? I'm just wondering as I'm an inveterate tracksuit wearer and owner of flatscreen tellies so I don't pay for check-ups, I thought it might be an optional paid-for extra like seeing a hygienist.

Also if you were interested, she's used four words improperly today: garrotty, in correlation, excoriatingly and vicariously. Spicy!

I went NHS he didn’t cup my face. He repeatedly asked “why are you scared” and I couldn’t reply because I had the sucky machine, a drill and half his hand in my mouth.
Then he sucked in air and said “has somebody been eating a lot of burgers? At least you’ve kept your legs shut” then everyone clapped. If only a kind internet stranger would send me paypalo’s to experience my face being cupped like a dog.

 

[Amanda Lin]

Sorry to hear about your tooth Jackie.

I can’t talk for long Margaret has made me a full English and she doesn’t like us talking anymore.

Good luck with the index and everything else.

Ta ra

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Jack went to collect an award wearing pleather trousers.

Brave Canal members watched her interview with a tortoise (or is that the name of the company?) and reported back that in addition to her fake laugh transporting everyone back to an Only Fools and Horses episode, she was hitting Boycie level on the smug-o-meter.

But what has surprised me the most, and this is why I couldn’t sleep last night, Jack is yet to mention the football results from yesterday which saw Liverpool lose out on the Premiership and subsequent quadruple. As a Liverpool fan of a number of years, I look up to Jack because she’s such a superfan. Never misses a game and always has a hot take on why things went the way they did. If she hadn’t been tweeting last night, I’d be a bit worried tbh, we don’t normally have to wait this long for her analysis.

 

[Shimmering]

Could she make it any more obvious she's been dumped?

 

[Dogmuck]

Train chaos fraus - she’s on a train toot toot

More ouchy mouth misery

She’s been listening to someone’s music for 25 minutes on a train but only 30 minutes ago she was gargling her med and salt shot

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I'm sobbing. Does she think she's the actual main character of the entire internet? That guy basically went viral last week with his discarded shopping list collection. Does she think people won't notice? Or does she just hope lots of her followers won't have seen it and think kooky, unique, 'autistic' Jack strikes again.

Dumbfounded. Also, when I worked for years at one of the Big 4, I used to always have a look at discarded shopping lists in my aisle. Why? Because I'm a nosy, mithering ninny.

 

[Sglodion]

If your tooth was bad enough to “crumble into bits” surely you would have been aware of it before the stage that it was at to crumble?

IT. IS. ALL. LIES.

(In my opinion ofc)

Part of the reason I find Jack so entertaining is because she lies probably, allegedly etc about such wildly random things. With most influencers it's all "I'm super rich, my perfect family never argues and I go on 285 luxury holidays a year" and you get the measure of the grift in about five minutes, and then it's just more of the same. With Jack you never know what's coming next. Will her teeth explode without warning at 2am? Will she print out half a million unread emails and archive them all according to the Dewey decimal system, which by the way she invented herself in 2001? Will Satan reveal hinself in a vision to tell her that melting knacker bangers are an integral part of the goat sacrifice ritual, so bringing up her disregard for animal welfare is discriminating against her religious beliefs? Nobody knows!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Chefs working with food banks - BAD, PATRONISING
Jack Monroe working with billion pound chain store - SELFLESS, ALTRUISTIC

 

[Jelly Bean]

Oh my word - https://365retail.co.uk/superdrug-a...ers-shop-smart-through-cost-of-living-crisis/

View attachment 1287626

Hang on - so she is there to advise how to keep costs down on hygiene and personal care routines. Can you imagine the furore if someone like Lee Anderson suggested poor people needed advising on their personal hygiene?
ETA I don't think I'd take personal care tips from someone who eats pot noodle in bed and doesn't brush their teeth.

 

[Veronicaaa]

For the record, Nigella's the one I plagiarise the most x

I actually can't do this today, I'm on a deadline . Jack STFU! Fraus, godspeed x

 

[MancBee]

I did not know that was the topic of the song and given the pile on she caused to the lady who has HIV I'm hoping she doesn't know that's the topic of the song either

Jimmy Somerville wrote the song about the death from AIDS of his friend Mark Ashton, one of the main characters in the film Pride. As Jack was the gayest gay who had ever gayed, and has said that she has seen Pride numerous times, I doubt she is unaware of the subject of the song.
Beautiful words about the love for a friend, not a song relevant about yourself.

Now you know, re read the words and it all becomes very clear...
"another man has lost a friend"
"we'd march for love and pride"
"love has turned to anger and pain"
"another battle I have found"

After all, she knows everything about everything. I have never seen a post where she admits to not knowing something.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Can I ask, is the dentist cupping your cheek just a private dentist thing or do people also get it from NHS dentists? I'm just wondering as I'm an inveterate tracksuit wearer and owner of flatscreen tellies so I don't pay for check-ups, I thought it might be an optional paid-for extra like seeing a hygienist.

Also if you were interested, she's used four words improperly today: garrotty, in correlation, excoriatingly and vicariously. Spicy!