How to keep relationship/marriage exciting

[Marie95]

Sorry if there is a thread for this, I couldn't find it if there is!

I'd love to know what you guys do, or any tips to keep a relationship exciting. Especially during the third lockdown, me and my husband used to go out for dates and we have game nights etc. But I've found we're just in a routine now where we're working, finishing then just on our phones in the evening, he watches football and I go upstairs and watch Youtube.

Don't get me wrong, we're very happy and don't think our marriage is going 'stale' or anything. But I can imagine everyone is feeling the toll of another lockdown, especially in winter where going out isn't too desirable and it's dark by 4.30pm. So any advice on how to get some excitement back in to our day/relationship would be great!

 

[McNuggets]

Ah I can totally relate. Was only just having this conversation with my husband last night. He was watching football and faffing with his phone and I was just sitting on my phone doing nothing.

We are going to have a phone free evening this evening and watch a film.

It’s hard to build in any kind of relationship stuff at the moment because we are so limited in what we can do!

 

[JodieGreen123]

Phone free evenings really help us, or phone free weekends

 

[Marie95]

I'd love to do a phone free evening. But we're both so guilty of just scrolling through mindlessly. I think I'd handle it better, what is it with men scrolling through Twitter reading the football updates WHILST they're watching it live on TV?!

He's got this weekend off work so I'm hoping we can do something like a nice long walk, it's snowing here at the moment so maybe a snowman will be built!

 

[Oohthedrama]

Ask for a divorce.
That will spice things up.

 

[Marie95]

Ask for a divorce.
That will spice things up.

I've threatened it too much, no reaction now. Maybe I'll say I'm having an affair, that might get his attention

 

[Skyeball]

Instead of going out during lockdowns, we've had a meal together at the dining table with the candles lit and some background music. No phone and no laptops still switched on, pinging emails through.
It's a nice way to concentrate on each other.
Also, have made more effort to have sex a bit more. This means less sleep, so it's been a sacrifice on both sides. We're old, we like the zzzs.

 

[Miss98]

I think compromise is good sometimes.. Doing activities your partner likes that maybe you're not so in to, and vice versa. You may surprise yourself and actually enjoy them. For example, my boyfriend loves gaming and I'm not into it at all but it's laugh for him to teach and watch me try and play, and some games I've even enjoyed. It's always ended in laughter.

Also, phones down and look for a decent film/walks somewhere different for a change, rather than going for walks in usual places you'd go (however I know you can't travel far with lockdown restrictions atm).

What about going back to the good old days and playing games like scrabble etc? It gives you both something to talk about and a bit of fun with a nice glass of wine

 

[Tui]

Anything that encourages conversation is good, even if just card games or eating round the dinner table. We don’t have tons of sex right now (12y relationship and 31 weeks pregnant ) but we spend a lot of our time together talking and cuddling

 

[Marie95]

Aw the candle lit dinner sounds lovely. We'll have to try that and play some music on the record player (only because all the vinyls are mine so I have full control of the music choice)

We have a playstation one I bought a couple of years ago with all the original games that's collecting dust so maybe bringing that out will be a fun evening!

Anything that encourages conversation is good, even if just card games or eating round the dinner table. We don’t have tons of sex right now (12y relationship and 31 weeks pregnant ) but we spend a lot of our time together talking and cuddling

Aww congratulations!

 

[Oohthedrama]

I've threatened it too much, no reaction now. Maybe I'll say I'm having an affair, that might get his attention

pregnant and it might be Lorraine’s husband’s baby?
That one time in the November lockdown you went out for milk...

 

[Marie95]

pregnant and it might be Lorraine’s husband’s baby?
That one time in the November lockdown you went out for milk...

I tell you what, if that doesn't get him to look up from Match of the Day, I think I'll have to resort to it being his brothers child

 

[Mulholland Drive]

When I'm with my girl for a period of time, I make sure we have a night where computers, tablets and phones are either switched off, or left in another room so that there's no distractions.

We then either watch a good film together, or play board/card games for 2 or 3 hours with music in the background and a few drinks to hand.

Or, if the mood takes up we play Strip Poker, or Strip Snakes & Ladders, Strip Monopoly, or Strip Twister

Or just having a heart-to-heart chat about anything and everything often helps break the monotony and open up new thoughts and ideas

 

[cosmo girl]

Ann summers always help Maybe a nice bit of role play? Maybe buy some toys? If you want to spice it up a bit.

 

[Chocolatelover123]

I completely get where you are coming from we are happy but guilty of reading sat scrolling on our phones.

Last weekend we decided to have a date night in the house. We got dressed up, ate the dinning table. had 3 courses and no phones. It was really nice and forgot how much we enjoyed being able to go out for a meal. I even got a nice bottle of wine however a bit too nice as I drank it to myself as my other half wasn’t keen. Later on I asked him if we wanted to come to bed he thought i meant an early night but ended up passing out next time I’ll stick to the gin

 

[Giggling Squid]

We’ve got a local restaurant that have been doing ‘make our food at home’ boxes, so we’ve had them a couple of times, so we make the meal and eat it, it’s a nice change to “what’s in the fridge”

 

[WilmaHun]

My other half and I decided to do a "come dine with me" sort of thing, except obviously it was only the two of us. So last Friday was my night and Saturday was his.

I prepared my menu and gave it to him on Thursday and he gave me his on Friday. For entertainment I chose a good old game of monopoly and he chose a game called "Buzz" on a really old PS2 which we used to play when we first got together! It was so much fun as got us talking about old times.

We scored eachother's nights and revealed the scores after his night. The person with the lowest score had to pay for takeaway on the Sunday . (He won!) It was such fun, I think we'll probably try and make it a bi-monthly thing

 

[Misbehaving]

Some really good ideas and advice on this thread. Some of which i might try out.
Its a tough one isn't it especially when you end up together 24/7 we all need our personal space!
Its hard to feel desirable when you have young kids and stress and feel like you are constantly on call/needed all the time.
Thats it though isn't it we need to find personal space time for ourselves first and prioritise that!!
I'm actually going to learn that from my husband who guess what does not feel guilty (unlke me) for putting himself first or doing exercise or watching the football!!
Yes i could whinge and say he's selfish but actually self care/time out is not selfish is it?
I think i might actually have to stop feeling hard done by and drop the martyr act!!
Yes there are too many things to get done in each day yes there is uncertainty and stress right now but over eating drinking too much and basically hibernating is not giving me my mojo back !
Time for me to take action i think!! i.e moving more eating less worrying less etc etc all the good things that deep down we all know we should be doing?
So for me its going to be getting out the old yoga dvds (i particularly like ana brett and kundalini yoga) yeah wake up those chakras
that would be a good place to start anyway!

 

[Marie95]

My other half and I decided to do a "come dine with me" sort of thing, except obviously it was only the two of us. So last Friday was my night and Saturday was his.

I prepared my menu and gave it to him on Thursday and he gave me his on Friday. For entertainment I chose a good old game of monopoly and he chose a game called "Buzz" on a really old PS2 which we used to play when we first got together! It was so much fun as got us talking about old times.

We scored eachother's nights and revealed the scores after his night. The person with the lowest score had to pay for takeaway on the Sunday . (He won!) It was such fun, I think we'll probably try and make it a bi-monthly thing

Wow this actually sounds so fun. My husband does all the cooking, when I say I can't cook, I genuinely mean I am absolutely horrific. So looks like I'll be forking out for the takeaway but I'm definitely going to do this! Honestly an excellent idea and will definitely get us off our phones.

 

[Lulu Goss]

We’ve found that starting a new series for the evening helps, something that we’re both interested in. Otherwise we end up with one person watching something and the other on their phones, or worse still something crap on tv that neither of us are bothered about and we both sit on our phones ignoring eachother!

We’ve also done a few themed dinners, like an Italian night or Mexican night. Cooked the food, bought some nice drinks to go with it and had matching music on to feel a bit like a restaurant