How do rich people actually act like?

[idk2]

I know a family friend who made millions (tech startup so think 5+million) selling a business about 10 years ago. The only reason I knew he was a millionaire was because I was told by my friend who's dad handled the businesses finances and crossovers. I remember telling my dad and he was absolutely not having any of it, honestly didnt believe me because this man was so humble and down to earth. Still to this day, he lives opposite us and is honestly just living his best middle class life. Over the years, we've learnt from him that he's given his kids and grandkids most his fortune as he wants them to succeed in life but he's the only person I've ever met where such a staggering amount of money didnt change him at all. He didnt even buy a new car nevermind a new house or anything.

I grew up with someone who's dad was a money launderer (convicted) who went on to become super successful business owner and now is a """legit""" millionaire. When I say they are the flashiest family I have ever met in my life, I mean they bought their daughter a Mercedes G Wagon at 16 years old and she couldn't even drive it for a year so it just sat there. The Mum drives a Porsche and the Dad has just got a Bugatti Chiron. Their cars cost staggeringly more than their house, the Bugatti alone would pay off all mortgages of everyone on my street. I have no idea why they still live in this area as we're firmly middle class but I reckon they love the looks/attention they get as these types of cars aren't bloody common. If they moved to millionaires row in our city, they wouldn't even get a second glance.

 

[SunshineDreamer]

That’s interesting. I do largely agree, especially with the misconception of extremely rich people being spoilt - as a teen I babysat for a very rich family and they were some of the loveliest, most patient and polite children I’ve ever met.

However, I would add that as someone who grew up with very little money, and now has a very comfortable lifestyle (nowhere near similar to yours, but definitely richer than average) I would say that money provides time, opportunity and choice in a way like nothing else can.

My mum worked two jobs when I was a kid and as a result, the only real quality time I got with her was when she was working as a Lunchtime Supervisor in the playground at my primary school. We never went on holiday; my parents never had time off. There was always a lot of stress hanging in the air, and there’d be little hints of struggle, like my mum crying when we’d incessantly beg her for some small treat at the supermarket, or having to walk miles upon miles to an event because we didn’t have a second car and dad had to use it for work.

Now, I wouldn’t say I had a bad childhood at all. My parents brought me and my siblings up well and I have some lovely childhood memories, days spent playing in the garden or going for family walks, making up dance routines with my siblings, all that good stuff. Saying that, I do think my experiences differ to yours, and while your parents will undoutedly have had their own stresses, managing to keep a roof over your head and your bills paid is a particular kind of stress that most people would rather avoid.

I always say that money cannot and never will buy happiness, but in my experience it opens doors, it allows you more options, it helps solve problems. I have noticed that some rich people do not recognise the privilege in that (and I don’t mean that nastily - I suppose there’s no reason for them to recognise it when they haven’t experienced it).

You are 100% correct. It definitely does provide time, opportunity and choice. Although I want to say I would have still gone to University and studied what I did, there is clearly a chance I would not have got into the one I did and I probably would not have been afforded the opportunity to use my qualification as I wish - I would have more than likely had no choice but to put in many, many hours and sacrifice the time with my children.

I also agree that people with no money worries do not recognise the privilege that it affords you, had my grandparents not worked so hard to instill the fact that everyone does not get to live our life etc I could easily have got swept away with the ease of our life. That being said, I'm not certain I truly appreciated it growing up. Although we did volunteering etc, I think for a majority of my childhood I was still in a bubble of sorts, shielded from the reality of what the world can truly be like.

I also agree that all walks of life bring stress but very rarely the fundamentals that everyone needs/wants. Although my dad worked long hours with his parents, he would take us away for weeks at a time to make up for what he may have missed on the day to day.

 

[PenelopePitstop]

I am quite frugal... I want to be mortgage free 10 years early so my spare cash goes on overpayments instead thus saving a small fortune in interest

 

[Megansnarkle]

Pretty much everyone I work for is probably a millionaire or multi-millionaire. They are generally just super nice normal people and you would not know if you didn't know what they do for a living.

 

[Carmen 6]

I don't want to go to into detail about it, but my husband has a wealthy (VERY wealthy) friend who he knows through a shared hobby. I've met him twice and the first time if my husband hadn't told me after who he was, I wouldn't have had a clue because he was wearing scruffy (but clean) jeans and a shirt. My husband was competing and I happened to be standing next to that guy and we started chatting. He'd obviously seen me with my husband earlier because he asked "Are you X's wife? I'm 'John'" and we just chatted away.
My husband told me afterwards who he was, just as another friend of my husband's (we'll call him Y) ran up to me all "Do you not realise who that was?! What was he saying to you? What were you talking about?" Y is a massive a-licker of anyone he thinks is well off or well connected. Quite full of tit. He's not my favourite person.

A few months later there was another event and I happened to be there (I don't go that often, only if the weather is nice to be honest ) My husband had wandered off and I was just watching everything that was going on when suddenly I spotted X being cornered by Y. He caught my eye and winked, I heard him say to Y that he'd see him later and he came over to me saying he hoped I didn't mind, but he had to get away from Y. My husband came back and the three of us were chatting and he said within 30 seconds of meeting someone like Y he knows if they're just talking to him because of who he is. He said he knew when I met him the first time that I didn't know who he was and I said I didn't have a clue and he replied with "But when you found out who I was, your personality didn't change and you didn't change the way you were being with me".
He said he knew I was genuine when I was going to get a coffee and asked him if he wanted one, despite the fact that he is literally a multimillionaire.

He's in business with his brother (who is much better known and much more recognised) and apparently his brother is a very nice down to earth guy as well. My husband's met him, I haven't. They weren't born into wealth, their family wasn't very well off when they were growing up, all of their money is from hard work, but because they weren't born into wealth they've always been down to earth and it's never gone to their head.

Apologies for going a bit Mumsnetty there with X & Y and the mysterious hobby. I promise it's not cycling

Oh and he bought the coffee, and a tasty slice of carrot cake too.

Is he looking for a new wife at all......?

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Is he looking for a new wife at all......?

He's got an ex one. Not sure what his current situation is

 

[Blondie123]

Of the people I know with 'real' money, none behave like any of the instawankers! And as a generalisation because there are always exceptions.. I'd say the split between new money and old is ostentatious versus understated.

 

[ChloChlo]

I don't think there is a specific way how a person behaves.

I am from a poor/ working class family. And two of my immediate family members went on to becoming very successful, rich, if you will.

Over a decade ago one of them was shockingly successful in a career in an industry where very often is the case, it is very short lived. They had worldwide success and was very young at the time. No amount of advice could have told her to spend her money wisely whilst she had it, to perhaps maybe invest in a couple of properties for herself. Instead she would flaunt it in a way which was often quite vulgar, and sadly in an attempt to impress people with even more money as another poster explained is often the case. She rented a luxury apartment in a premium London post code just to impress and flaunt rather than invest in a normal home she could have paid for 10 times over. It is quite sad as concidering just how much she made in her youth, other than a couple of items of clothing still left in her wardrobe at my dads where she now lives after blowing it all on fast lived things, there is virtually no evidence that she was ever a millionaire at all. She kicks herself now terribly that she never invested in anything worthwhile, that she could still account for today.

Another put himself through university and was money driven since a very young child. He is very wise with his money, had business and a very high flying job from his very early 20s. He acts not at all like my sibling did. He doesn't wear really high end brands although he would have no problem affording them, he does wear well fitting, good quality clothes and sports trainers - his wardrobe is small and modest but well looked after, professionally laundered - my sister on the other hand would have designer outfits worth thousands just left in a crumpled pile under many on the floor. He doesn't buy anything unessersary. I have noticed that like a few people who I would class as rich, his life seems to be very organised, structured and in a routine. He takes good care of his mind and body and is used to people behaving differently round him when they realise what financial position he is in and as a result keeps his circle (even that within the family too) very small. He has very often complained he doesnt seem to have conversations at all where money isnt mentioned.

I also had a stinking rich sister in law. She was my ex husbands sister and married an extremely wealthy, older man later on in life (I believe she was in mid 40s, him his 60s). She flaunts like you would not believe, she looks down her nose on people that do not have simular wealth to her - even though she was your typical East End scrubber before. She had even apparently, according to her family, adopted an entirely different way of speaking after she married him and moved to Surrey. She had mega expensive jewellery and she would be VERY aware of their placement constantly. It used to drive me mad especially if time was ever mentioned, she would thrust her watch right into your eyeballs or keep covering her mouth for no reason with the hand with all the latest expensive ring on. Her husband seemed a very, nice, friendly man though, he was very softly spoken and gentlemanly, he was into Formula 1 and luxury cars, he had an impressive fleet of cars, he would show them off but it was in a way that would be quite charming, I cant quite describe it but it would almost be like he had looked out onto his drive and just calmly discovered them there new for himself too. I thought it come across quite sweet and not at all boastful.

I think just as all walks of life. People arent uniform just because they are rich. They can differ.

 

[JLXRD]

My dads side are very wealthy, my grandfather built millions in property over the last 50 or so years.

I love them both dearly but all I will say is you can’t buy class.

They are also poles apart.

You would know my grandfather was a wealthy man through his car and how he dressed (very smart) but he is very very tight for the most part, he worked for the money so is mostly frugal and buys a few high quality things.

My dad who grew up with that money from birth would spend spend spend without a second thought. For him it’s about having the latest and showing it off (his friends are not from affluent backgrounds, so he is able to do this easily!)

So I kind of think the attitudes come from how hard you have had to work for it in my opinion

 

[ChloChlo]

My dads side are very wealthy, my grandfather built millions in property over the last 50 or so years.

I love them both dearly but all I will say is you can’t buy class.

They are also poles apart.

You would know my grandfather was a wealthy man through his car and how he dressed (very smart) but he is very very tight for the most part, he worked for the money so is mostly frugal and buys a few high quality things.

My dad who grew up with that money from birth would spend spend spend without a second thought. For him it’s about having the latest and showing it off (his friends are not from affluent backgrounds, so he is able to do this easily!)

So I kind of think the attitudes come from how hard you have had to work for it in my opinion

This is very true when thinking about it, the relative that worked really hard and in a high flying job from our working class family. As described he also only buys what he needs and certainly will not "help" anyone out or give anything away for nothing.

My sibling who got a short lived career by "luck" and went onto lose it all, would flutter her money away on anything and everything.

 

[Quarrantinemadness]

My experience is;

New money - flash the cash, head to toe in anything designer as long as you can tell it’s designer with a visible logo, flash cars, me me me attitude, always seen in the “cool places”, always talks about money, everything in the home looks bling, crushed velvet etc. Homes are usually new build whoppers. Boasts about eating truffle. Think “The only way is Essex”

Old money -understated, classy, never talks about money, rarely flashes the cash, may have expensive clothing etc but you wouldn’t necessarily know because it’s not emblazoned with a logo, tend to buy quality items, wouldn’t be seen dead with a crushed velvet sofa in a 5 bed Belway home. Often will visit the aisles of Aldi. Think “Made in Chelsea”

 

[265]

I am quite frugal... I want to be mortgage free 10 years early so my spare cash goes on overpayments instead thus saving a small fortune in interest

My Parents managed to pay off the mortgage a few years early back in the 80's, it's a good feeling when that happens.