Happy new year all.
Has 2020 been a total right off, or has some good come out of it?
Has 2020 been a total right off, or has some good come out of it?
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2020 hasn’t been a horrendous year for me. I’ve loved working from home as it’s meant I’ve been able to decorate and get a lot of stuff done around the house as we only moved in last December. My wee dog is loving me being home constantly as well.
My partner got a promotion at work which has really helped us financially.
The main negative for me is my grandma passed away in June, not from covid thankfully but we knew it was coming. Not having a proper funeral was really upsetting, only 15 people were allowed and there was no wake afterwards.
Of course it’s not been great being unable to see family or friends for most of the year but I’m grateful for FaceTime which has made is easier to stay in touch.
My partner got a promotion at work which has really helped us financially.
The main negative for me is my grandma passed away in June, not from covid thankfully but we knew it was coming. Not having a proper funeral was really upsetting, only 15 people were allowed and there was no wake afterwards.
Of course it’s not been great being unable to see family or friends for most of the year but I’m grateful for FaceTime which has made is easier to stay in touch.
Wasn’t the best for us. I’m a nurse on a covid ward, caught covid and had a miscarriage. BUT we are lucky to be alive and surrounded by those we love going into 2021. Thinking of all those who lost their loved ones x
I feel very fortunate to be able to say it was just a boring, frustrating and draining year mentally.
My husband had a good year work wise despite background concerns about the economy and possible implications. My job is stable and I can work perfectly well from home, I have a small and fairly unsociable office anyway so I actually prefer it and I am hopeful that I never need to return to a full five days in the office (which is great as we’d like to move out of London so this will give us some flexibility if I don’t need to commute every day). I got involved in a local mutual aid group to fill my time at the first lockdown when work was quiet, I enjoyed that and met some really nice people and it made me realise I’d like to do something a bit more fulfilling with some spare time. I trained as a crisis volunteer for Shout but I don’t think it’s the role for me.
It’s been tough seeing grandparents and my MIL struggle, my grandparents more so as they are out and about every day usually and very young and active for their ages. I’ve seen them age this year. They don’t use the internet etc and have no real interest so their days have been long and frustrating.
I managed to have a nice but low key 30th birthday in the summer and we did a couple of trips in the UK whilst we could which was nice. I’ve missed travelling and being able to just book a long weekend away. We also didn’t get to go on our honeymoon which remains a disappointment but not the end of the world. I got diagnosed with PCOS (really straightforward despite the NHS’ limitations this year) so I’m grateful that I can be proactive in the new year when it comes to seeking help to conceive. I know some people go undiagnosed and struggle for years.
Overall I know I’m so incredibly lucky that my year is something others could only have hoped for and I am very grateful for that. It has been draining emotionally and I feel like I carry a lot of responsibility for being there and being the strong upbeat one for many friends and family and it’s felt frustrating at times and really emotionally tolling, so I know I need to find better balance this year when it comes to refilling my own cup with something other than a bubble bath and mindless internet scrolling.
My husband had a good year work wise despite background concerns about the economy and possible implications. My job is stable and I can work perfectly well from home, I have a small and fairly unsociable office anyway so I actually prefer it and I am hopeful that I never need to return to a full five days in the office (which is great as we’d like to move out of London so this will give us some flexibility if I don’t need to commute every day). I got involved in a local mutual aid group to fill my time at the first lockdown when work was quiet, I enjoyed that and met some really nice people and it made me realise I’d like to do something a bit more fulfilling with some spare time. I trained as a crisis volunteer for Shout but I don’t think it’s the role for me.
It’s been tough seeing grandparents and my MIL struggle, my grandparents more so as they are out and about every day usually and very young and active for their ages. I’ve seen them age this year. They don’t use the internet etc and have no real interest so their days have been long and frustrating.
I managed to have a nice but low key 30th birthday in the summer and we did a couple of trips in the UK whilst we could which was nice. I’ve missed travelling and being able to just book a long weekend away. We also didn’t get to go on our honeymoon which remains a disappointment but not the end of the world. I got diagnosed with PCOS (really straightforward despite the NHS’ limitations this year) so I’m grateful that I can be proactive in the new year when it comes to seeking help to conceive. I know some people go undiagnosed and struggle for years.
Overall I know I’m so incredibly lucky that my year is something others could only have hoped for and I am very grateful for that. It has been draining emotionally and I feel like I carry a lot of responsibility for being there and being the strong upbeat one for many friends and family and it’s felt frustrating at times and really emotionally tolling, so I know I need to find better balance this year when it comes to refilling my own cup with something other than a bubble bath and mindless internet scrolling.
It was alright for me - definitely had its pros and cons.
I adopted 2 8 month old kittens in February, they’re sisters and I just cannot imagine life without them now. I’ve been working from home since March and I’ve absolutely loved it. I met 2 new friends this year who have become 2 of my best friends and couldn’t be without them either. And I was lucky enough to be living with my bf throughout it all and also still had a fairly normal family Christmas.
This was the year me and my bf had a lot of things planned - going abroad for the first time, going to concerts, weekends away etc. And obviously everything got cancelled which was a shame. And it’s been rubbish that I haven’t seen my family as much as I’d like to. My bf also was in hospital for 4 days with appendicitis on his own as no one could visit so that was rubbish. But nothing compared to what othera have been through.
So on the whole my year wasn’t actually that bad - could have been a lot better but I’ve got some fab memories.
I adopted 2 8 month old kittens in February, they’re sisters and I just cannot imagine life without them now. I’ve been working from home since March and I’ve absolutely loved it. I met 2 new friends this year who have become 2 of my best friends and couldn’t be without them either. And I was lucky enough to be living with my bf throughout it all and also still had a fairly normal family Christmas.
This was the year me and my bf had a lot of things planned - going abroad for the first time, going to concerts, weekends away etc. And obviously everything got cancelled which was a shame. And it’s been rubbish that I haven’t seen my family as much as I’d like to. My bf also was in hospital for 4 days with appendicitis on his own as no one could visit so that was rubbish. But nothing compared to what othera have been through.
So on the whole my year wasn’t actually that bad - could have been a lot better but I’ve got some fab memories.
It’s been ok! I work in Probation so I have gone from going into the office 5 days a week to 1 day a week and WFH the rest of the time. Initially I struggled to adjust but now I prefer the balance. My partner was furloughed initially but is now back at work, financially we haven’t been impacted which I’m hugely grateful for. I have struggled with the lack of socialising and feel like I work and then sit at home doing nothing. The best part of the year was finding out I’m pregnant with our first child, so 2021 will be exciting for us!
I’m really lucky. It has affected my business, which has dwindled down to about 20% of its usual output, but I do not rely on that income financially so it’s ok.
I have an underlying health issue which means I’ve essentially shielded. I just would rather not take chances. I’m a homebody at heart so I’ve not coped too badly with staying at home (and having a garden has been such a godsend - I am so grateful for it).
My partner already worked from home a couple of days a week anyway, so he’s just in his home office full-time now. Again, I’m super grateful he can shut himself away in a room to work because not everyone has that.
I don’t know anyone who has passed from Covid. It has been mild for everyone I know who’s had it, which I am eternally grateful for. Not had it myself, and only one member of my family has (he was over it in a week).
I have struggled a bit at times with not seeing family and friends, and not getting to do the things I love to do, but I recognise that I am so fortunate compared to many, and that it won’t be like this forever. I can wait.
Much love to anyone who’s been affected by the pandemic, in any way. I’m sorry.
I have an underlying health issue which means I’ve essentially shielded. I just would rather not take chances. I’m a homebody at heart so I’ve not coped too badly with staying at home (and having a garden has been such a godsend - I am so grateful for it).
My partner already worked from home a couple of days a week anyway, so he’s just in his home office full-time now. Again, I’m super grateful he can shut himself away in a room to work because not everyone has that.
I don’t know anyone who has passed from Covid. It has been mild for everyone I know who’s had it, which I am eternally grateful for. Not had it myself, and only one member of my family has (he was over it in a week).
I have struggled a bit at times with not seeing family and friends, and not getting to do the things I love to do, but I recognise that I am so fortunate compared to many, and that it won’t be like this forever. I can wait.
Much love to anyone who’s been affected by the pandemic, in any way. I’m sorry.
2020 has been okay for me, as a motorcycle courier I've managed to work and make some decent money, I was quite surprised how much same day courier work is around. The work I'm doing has changed, involving more "home to home" deliveries which include a lot more mileage. My running costs have gone up because of the extra mileage but that's really much of an issue. My life is quite simple, I live with my Mother and Brother so our
situation is okay, my Brother also works.
Not been a good year for my Mother, during 2020 she lost 3 close friends, mainly due to medical issues and old age, she has been stuck in the house
most of the year but she is managing okay.
situation is okay, my Brother also works.
Not been a good year for my Mother, during 2020 she lost 3 close friends, mainly due to medical issues and old age, she has been stuck in the house
most of the year but she is managing okay.
I've been fortunate to have kept myself busy in my IT work - in fact I've never been busier with so many people working from home and wanting help setting up their Home Office.
That said my alcoholism took hold quite badly near the end of the year, to the point where I was drinking 2 bottles of white wine a day!
A few ups and downs with my girlfriend, but that's the norm for many relationships. But I had a growing anxiety come October and the onset of winter and dark nights. So I decided to make plans to leave England and head back to Johannesburg and spend some time with my parents.
But even this was quite turbulent with the various lockdowns, tiers and restrictions in both countries, and I had no idea where I stood until mid December and I could fly out!
But despite being with my family again, and a far warmer climate, there is a ban on alcohol consumption, which is really putting a twist on my well-being.
That said my alcoholism took hold quite badly near the end of the year, to the point where I was drinking 2 bottles of white wine a day!
A few ups and downs with my girlfriend, but that's the norm for many relationships. But I had a growing anxiety come October and the onset of winter and dark nights. So I decided to make plans to leave England and head back to Johannesburg and spend some time with my parents.
But even this was quite turbulent with the various lockdowns, tiers and restrictions in both countries, and I had no idea where I stood until mid December and I could fly out!
But despite being with my family again, and a far warmer climate, there is a ban on alcohol consumption, which is really putting a twist on my well-being.
Only bad things for me. But compared to others, not terribly bad - loss of money (holiday that is being refused a refund for, because we paid in vouchers/gift cards, which we purchased!) and putting off trying for a family. I have learnt to pay for big things on credit card in the future. I guess a life lesson is a positive! And delaying trying for a family is good in a way, as it will allow us more time to save and pay off the mortgage.
Pre - lockdown I had my 3rd child and my terminally I'll dad passed away. I am relieved that this happened when it did , rather than amidst the lockdown period.
I think this year has been mostly frustrating. Trying to clear my dad's house with all the restrictions was nigh on impossible and I don't think anyone can compare doing it in 2020 to doing it any other time.
Simple things seem to be made much more difficult and are often blamed on the pandemic, I don't think anything has gone to plan .
My maternity leave has been a write off. I've realised how few people I actually see. I think it's highlighted how differently my husband and I live our lives.
I wouldn't see every thing has been bad, it's been really pared back and centred around home .
I think this year has been mostly frustrating. Trying to clear my dad's house with all the restrictions was nigh on impossible and I don't think anyone can compare doing it in 2020 to doing it any other time.
Simple things seem to be made much more difficult and are often blamed on the pandemic, I don't think anything has gone to plan .
My maternity leave has been a write off. I've realised how few people I actually see. I think it's highlighted how differently my husband and I live our lives.
I wouldn't see every thing has been bad, it's been really pared back and centred around home .
We are homebodies so in terms of staying at home, that wasn't much different to us. We have seen a lot less of our families but sometimes thats not a bad thing! My husbands job has been stable and he has worked as normal, I have lost over £10K in earnings this year (a hell of a lot more without the SSEI). I been able to get all those tasks at home done which has been lovely and spend a lot of time with the kids which I will never get again. I do however believe that the lack of traffic on the roads allowed my cat to become complacent and that combined with few speeding cars caused his accident (and subsequent death) which to me was the biggest tragedy personally. I do not know anyone personally who has had covid except for a friends mother.
Apart from the obvious its not been too bad. I've got happy healthy and resilient kids. My mental healths got the best of me over the last few weeks (never had issues with it before) but I've put solid plans in to help me get better in 2021. Ive been too busy ensuring my kids are happy and healthy and i think ive finally come crashing into a wall. More me time focusing on my physical health hopefully improving my mental health 
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I feel very fortunate compared to some. It hasn’t been the best year by a long shot, it’s been hard working from home with my two little ones and my mental health has suffered (I don’t usually struggle with it much). But I’ve kept my business going, I’ve lost a few clients but I’ve managed, and my partner has carried on working as normal. My friends and family are all reasonably healthy and I do feel very lucky compared to a lot of people who I know haven’t been so fortunate.
It’s been a mixed bag...
I got made permanent in work and Liverpool won the league the first time since I was 2. Those were the positives.
But we sadly lost my nan in April, we were all so close and to not be with her when she died was so hard. Plus the funeral of 10 people was horrible considering the life she had led and the amount of people who knew her. She was always life and soul of the party and her funeral just didn’t celebrate this near enough.
My partner has also struggled with work so it’s not been financially great.
But I’m so grateful for the support of my family.
I got made permanent in work and Liverpool won the league the first time since I was 2. Those were the positives.
But we sadly lost my nan in April, we were all so close and to not be with her when she died was so hard. Plus the funeral of 10 people was horrible considering the life she had led and the amount of people who knew her. She was always life and soul of the party and her funeral just didn’t celebrate this near enough.
My partner has also struggled with work so it’s not been financially great.
But I’m so grateful for the support of my family.
It was fine for me, I dont have any elderly relatives to worry about and my CEV mother was safe WFH. It was just endlessly, drainingly, soul deep boring.
It’s been ok, I don’t think I would have got over heartbreak without lockdown. It helped me to stop and just get over it because I couldn’t see him. We started seeing each other again from August and things have been good but I’m focused on myself.
The downside of 2020 wasn’t covid for me. It was watching my sister in an abusive relationship which she is unfortunately still in.
Could going through the worst year of your life be potentially healing in the long run?
I ask because thats how i feel everything that i'd been in denial about repressed or hidden from myself actually came out
It was messy (literally i'm a hoarder) pretty weird (i shaved my head in the summer and i've put on weight yay now i look like an escaped convict!!).
Nasty i woke up to the reality that i was in an abusive marraige and frankly shoved it into my husbands face (angry moi absolutely i was) until he got fed up and even he realised that living in chaos with a miserable wife was a kind of hell that even he didn't want to live in anymore.
So he changed (because i did and i would no longer tolerate being coerced or manipulated.
Simple as that but after 20 years of feeling robbed like i'd lost out (on being happy) but i did not know why until i stopped being his enabler.
So no more woe is me stories no more jumping on the self pity wagon no more insisting that he was the victim and never ever responsible and needed looking after.
Bs all of it so i snapped and put my foot down and told him he had to be a proper husband and father and start to do the right thing.
Which he is doing
there was still enough good in him to see that he was nearly destroying everything with his corrosive personality (never mind co-vid i was living with a human virus!)
The game changer was when he finally starting doing things off his own back like painting the kitchen or being attentive and considerate without being told to or nagged.
Before everything was a battle and an uphill struggle (that i'd got used to) this time there is a sense of ease and i can breathe and everything is light and not dark and heavy and a burden.
Also its not the narcs favourite tactic of hoovering (trying to get you onside after subjecting you to abuse by being nice.
No he's not nice or charming he's stable and calm thats how i know sonething has clicked he's not trying he's doing it...and even he feels relief there are no more heated slanging matches and we are just going about our normal buisness.
No more drama no more fake mr nice guy co-vid has finally taught him to share and be responsible and that chasing after money (we spent a good share of our savings on survival) wasn't working and that living under stress was just burning us all out and that he was going to collapse as well (physically) and myself (mentally) if we carried on the way we were.
We still have a long way to go i feel like i have neglected my kids in order to try and placate a manchild all my life so we have a lot of catching up to do.
To try to wean myself off highs and lows was not as easy as i thought but then i tell myself that i've been through a lot and i need time to adjust so just try to keep my balance and self awareness and to focus on myself yes but to tune into my childrens feelings as well rather than just tick off another job on the never ending to do list.
Just to play and be close and have fun all the things that others take for granted but i'd never really had access to?
Its early days but i feel like i've finally awoken from a bad dream and that i'm happy just because now i can see the truth and before all i did was live with lies.
I didn't think i would get so deep and personal with this post but i'm not scared of what other people might think anymore and actually showing my vulnerability only makes me feel stronger in the long run and not weaker.
So thanks to all the people who took the time to read this i appreciate it.
I ask because thats how i feel everything that i'd been in denial about repressed or hidden from myself actually came out
It was messy (literally i'm a hoarder) pretty weird (i shaved my head in the summer and i've put on weight yay now i look like an escaped convict!!).
Nasty i woke up to the reality that i was in an abusive marraige and frankly shoved it into my husbands face (angry moi absolutely i was) until he got fed up and even he realised that living in chaos with a miserable wife was a kind of hell that even he didn't want to live in anymore.
So he changed (because i did and i would no longer tolerate being coerced or manipulated.
Simple as that but after 20 years of feeling robbed like i'd lost out (on being happy) but i did not know why until i stopped being his enabler.
So no more woe is me stories no more jumping on the self pity wagon no more insisting that he was the victim and never ever responsible and needed looking after.
Bs all of it so i snapped and put my foot down and told him he had to be a proper husband and father and start to do the right thing.
Which he is doing
there was still enough good in him to see that he was nearly destroying everything with his corrosive personality (never mind co-vid i was living with a human virus!)
The game changer was when he finally starting doing things off his own back like painting the kitchen or being attentive and considerate without being told to or nagged.
Before everything was a battle and an uphill struggle (that i'd got used to) this time there is a sense of ease and i can breathe and everything is light and not dark and heavy and a burden.
Also its not the narcs favourite tactic of hoovering (trying to get you onside after subjecting you to abuse by being nice.
No he's not nice or charming he's stable and calm thats how i know sonething has clicked he's not trying he's doing it...and even he feels relief there are no more heated slanging matches and we are just going about our normal buisness.
No more drama no more fake mr nice guy co-vid has finally taught him to share and be responsible and that chasing after money (we spent a good share of our savings on survival) wasn't working and that living under stress was just burning us all out and that he was going to collapse as well (physically) and myself (mentally) if we carried on the way we were.
We still have a long way to go i feel like i have neglected my kids in order to try and placate a manchild all my life so we have a lot of catching up to do.
To try to wean myself off highs and lows was not as easy as i thought but then i tell myself that i've been through a lot and i need time to adjust so just try to keep my balance and self awareness and to focus on myself yes but to tune into my childrens feelings as well rather than just tick off another job on the never ending to do list.
Just to play and be close and have fun all the things that others take for granted but i'd never really had access to?
Its early days but i feel like i've finally awoken from a bad dream and that i'm happy just because now i can see the truth and before all i did was live with lies.
I didn't think i would get so deep and personal with this post but i'm not scared of what other people might think anymore and actually showing my vulnerability only makes me feel stronger in the long run and not weaker.
So thanks to all the people who took the time to read this i appreciate it.
Bad but could have been so much worse.
We nearly lost mum to sepsis last Christmas and the year started with her still in hospital. She was still recovering when Dad got Covid in April. He was on a ventilator for a month, in hospital for 4 months and has been in a care home since August. He has a tracheostomy and is peg fed, both may be permanent. Despite this I'm so grateful to still have them both as the year could have been very different.
In addition it was my 40th at the start of the first lockdown. I had holidays and a party and lots of lovely things booked, everything got cancelled and I spent it alone without seeing anyone. Dad had been put on the ventilator the night before
We nearly lost mum to sepsis last Christmas and the year started with her still in hospital. She was still recovering when Dad got Covid in April. He was on a ventilator for a month, in hospital for 4 months and has been in a care home since August. He has a tracheostomy and is peg fed, both may be permanent. Despite this I'm so grateful to still have them both as the year could have been very different.
In addition it was my 40th at the start of the first lockdown. I had holidays and a party and lots of lovely things booked, everything got cancelled and I spent it alone without seeing anyone. Dad had been put on the ventilator the night before