Height difference in a relationship? Deal breaker?

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it’s not been changed?!

Omg! yes, let us know how this goes!
I’m 5’9” and matched with a guy on hinge who reckons he’s 5’11”... I think he’s telling fibs. We were messaging and he gave me his number on wed night, but I’ve not whatsapped him yet because the height thing is putting me off. Also, have I left it too long to even message him anyway?!
I have my height on my bio on hinge and bumble and either shorter men don’t take the time to read it or just don’t care
 
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Dizzy

My OH is about 2 inches taller than me (I’m 5’7”) and he's the shortest guy I’ve had a relationship with. On paper I probably wouldn’t go for him but he is the love of my life and I’ve never found anyone as attractive as him, both when we met and now! Thankfully he’s stocky and I’m quite slim so I don’t feel too manly but I do totally ‘get’ how a height difference would bother some. As the others have said, meet up and see - certainly don’t disregard without getting together IRL.
 
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Bec3007

I don’t think height is really an issue if you like a person. I mean I think most woman prefer a taller man but if he’s everything else you like on paper/in person then don’t let his height put you off.
 
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MaxieMoo

I agree with what you are saying. As a woman who is very tall I accept there will be men that wouldn't want to date me because of that. I'm ok with that. My husband is just a little bit taller than me and isn't fussed when I wear heels etc. Over the years I have had many people say to me "ooh aren't you tall?". It's interesting as no one would EVER say to someone "ooh aren't you fat?". Just to balance it up I've also had many lovely comments about my height / legs etc. Being a tall woman is way easier now than when I was younger . I personally feel there are way more worrying things influencing vulnerable people on instagram so don't tend to worry too much about height discrimination.
 
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it’s not been changed?!

Have you met him yet?
 
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noonecaresaboutyou

Thank you all for you replies, its good to have an insight into something like this.

We haven't actually met yet although it's planned, as a typical women I'm starting to stress about it but not for my previous reasons (height) it's more so will there be that spark that comes across over message, as we get on so well although this week there has been a shift in the how much we are actually talking, he previously stated there is gonna be times when he won't speak as he is busy at work, today has been one of those days. Does it make me sound stupid? As I got so use to talking to him everyday, I've been let down before so I'm convinced it's gonna happen again.

I think I need to stop being such an idiot and just focus on our meeting.
 
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MaxieMoo

No, you are not an idiot at all. It's normal to get a bit nervous and over think things. Fingers crossed your meet up goes well. Keep us updated.
 

noonecaresaboutyou

Guys the meeting got cancelled this morning due to storm Dennis cancelling alot of public transport, it's been rescheduled. Bloody weather!

In light of this I happened to stumble across something last night and I'm unsure wether to approach it or not bother. I may be nothing but its now made me more wary.

It is a few commens between the guy in question and another female, now before someone comments about how we aren't together or I'm over reacting I'm fully aware this is the case but when it come to dating this day and age you need to have your wits about you cause you can get hurt.
 

coconochanel

What kind of comment?
 

noonecaresaboutyou

coconochanel said:
What kind of comment?
Click to expand...
She made a comment saying she was 'well jel and that her bed is the only valentine she is getting tonight' his reply ' I'd love to invite but they say 3 is a crowd ' she then goes on to say at least her bed hasnt been stood up.

What am I suppose to make of that?
 
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MaxieMoo

I suppose it's hard to know what context it was really meant in. For example, I can think of 3 different people who could all say the same thing but imply something different based on how they say it. Does that make sense? I think it's hard to know what that really all meant unless you know their personality enough. If you have doubts about them maybe being a player at least go for a drink / dinner, have a fun night out and if you're not sure at least you gave it a shot?
 

noonecaresaboutyou

Yeah it does make sense. I've been toying with the idea wether to ask him, we have rescheduled but the even weirder thing is I haven't heard off since 8pm Saturday night.

Now I really don't know what to do, maybe binning him off seems like the best thing to do
 
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Secretadmirer

I wouldn't judge him based on a silly online comment. At the moment he's a single man and people comment things online all the time that mean nothing! If you get on well then just go for it.. you've got nothing to lose. You might click and get on really well, he might be lovely, if not, you hopefully had a nice evening out anyway.
 
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KateESJ

have you spoken about being exclusive yet, though? Just chatting to me doesn’t scream ‘exclusive’.
But I’ve also never dated online so I wouldn’t know. I’d say that’s a flirty comment but honestly I don’t think I’d look too much into it if you haven’t even met yet.
 

noonecaresaboutyou

We have touched base on the matter, but obviously in till we meet then there is no knowing what might happen.

It's hard not to judge due to past experience, I know you shouldn't let your pass dictate your future.
 
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Yellowyellow

Bit late to this but I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and he is shorter than me by just over an inch. In fact, shorter guys are 'my type'and I'm much more attracted to someone the same height as me than smaller. My bf is now in a wheelchair, but when he used to stand there was three things that made this height difference an issue:
  • Not being able to wear heels to events or nights out, or even heeled boots or doc martens without looking ridiculous.
  • Weighing more than him. Since he is quite small it really highlights the fact that I am plus size, and it is sad I cant wear his hoodies or look sexy in his baggy shirts
  • His friends and the constant comments about our height difference
None of these are a deal breaker to me. I think it is important to remember that just because he is shorter than you doesn't mean that he should be grateful to be with you on that basis alone. A short guy can be just as much of a dick as a tall guy.
There are some positives!
  • Can look him straight in the eyes while walking together
  • Doesn't tend to get hit on by girls as much (although my bf does because he is quite fit)
  • Easier to take pictures together
There is no harm in trying it out. Many guys are off put by a taller girl, so as long as you both dont mind it's fine! I'm happy!
 

Mumdrum

I'm taller than my husband, I don't care what people think, we've been married for 16 happy years. I don't wear heels like I used to do, but I would for a night out. If hes a good guy dony let height stop you xx
 
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