Heartbreak after split

[imnotarobot]

Hi OP, just checking in on you today to see how you are going?

 

[WilmaHun]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I know it's easier said than done, but try to keep the mind busy so you're not dwelling on things, it will only make you question things/feel worse if all you do is sit and think about it. Do you have any close friends you could perhaps do something with, lunch date or something?

You will find your happiness, I promise. As somebody earlier on in the thread said, count it as a blessing that it's happened now, and not after you'd moved in, or taken the relationship any further.

Concentrate on you, take care of youself, treat yourself to some new clothes, hair cut, nails, anything to make you feel good about yourself.

I know it hurts now but as each day passes, you'll feel a little bit better. You will find your person soon enough, it may even be in the last place you expected them to be!

 

[FunkyMonkey]

Just wanted to send you a big cuddle. Heartache is the pits. I’m sure you must feel like you will never be happy again- please let a stranger on the internet promise you that you will xxx

 

[Definitelyme]

No advice, but I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by him. Hopefully you have good friends and family around at the moment to help you through. be kind to yourself over the coming weeks x

 

[xx3221]

Thank you. I needed to hear this . Can I ask did you meet anyone else after and is your ex still with same person he got into a relationship with after the break up? I’m just worried that I’ll never meet someone and feel the same way I did for my ex. I also ruminate on whether he regrets or will regret in the future finishing the relationship.

My ex is now in a very toxic on/off relationship with the same girl, arguably even worse than the relationship I had with him - but it's a unique situation because she became very very obsessed with me and would message me constantly. We split up in May 2021 and by December 2021 my ex and I were talking more often because he would come to me for relationship advice (I was completely over him by this point).

I have not been in a relationship since and I am so glad, I am early 20s so I have a lot of time and I was only 20 when we split up (was in a relationship 16-21 more or less) it sounds cliche but I have put so much effort into working on myself to never make the same mistakes that i did with him. Learning boundaries, self worth, red flags to not ignore etc and he did the complete opposite. you will 100% feel the same way or even more so than you did for your ex - i felt the same way, like I would never feel for anybody ever again and then i met someone whom I felt deeper for than I ever did my ex. Alas, it did not work out but i was glad to know it can and will happen one day. Jumping from relationship to relationship is the recipe for disaster, i personally don't believe you can get over someone that fast and move on. But definitely don't hold out hope - i did for a little too long until i finally realised it was completely dead. I hope you are okay, truly because I remember the way I felt when this happened and I would never want to feel this way again. Everyone says that it'll pass and it feels like it won't but it definitely does

 

[Roobalooba89]

Me too I hope you’re all ok! It sucks so hard. I feel like I’ve been on and off heartbreak for the last year and a half and its neverending, it’s nice to hear happy stories

 

[Lollipop2123]

So sorry you are going through this. Keep yourself busy if you can and be kind to yourself. You really do deserve better x

 

[Say What]

My partner/boyfriend of two years split with me last week suddenly. He stated that he just can't handle a relationship due to his mental health problems. He suffers with depression and anxiety and we have had some ups and downs over the two years because of this and the fact he seems to run away from his problems and shut me out. He admitted he isn't ready for a relationship.

The split came suddenly and the day before we had been talking about me potentially moving to be with him.

I'm heartbroken, and just feel so, so sad. I obviously still love him but feel so hurt. He admitted yesterday in a text that he had been thinking of splitting with me for the past three months but couldn't find the right time to, this just felt like salt in the wound and really hurtful. I'm angry yet incredibly sad.

I've asked if there's another woman involved and he's said no. Now I know sometimes this can be the case but my heart is telling me that's not the reason.

Does anyone else have any hope or advice? Or even just a handhold? I feel broken and like I'll never recover.

Thank you.

I’m so sad for you and I wish I had something to make it better. All I know is we respond differently to this and I think it’s great that you’re expressing all those emotions rather than bottling them away. Personally I think it will be for the best- if he’s not ready and has wasted 3 months of your life manning up to tell you the truth then he isn’t the right person. You deserve someone who loves you completely and can be honest with you to protect your wellbeing. The other thing I do know is that you will recover. It’ll take time and there’s no limit on that but one day you’ll remember that you’re a strong woman and that you deserve better. I hope that day comes quickly for you. Sending hope and love to you fellow Tattler.

 

[DoctorWho]

Hope you’re ok. Heartbreak is the worst feeling. Time is a healer x

 

[Lollipop2123]

Hello! That's so kind, thank you.

I'm actually feeling a little more acceptance of the situation.

He did send me a WhatsApp message a couple of days ago. Asking how I was. I was really not sure whether to reply, so left it for a day and sent a bright and breezy 'I'm ok, hope you are too' style reply. He's not responded to that but he was never a texter or good with words so that was to be expected. I was very surprised he did send a message though.

I've been looking towards the future, planning things to do and future goals so that's kept me busy. I still think of him and I do feel sad, and I have cried a lot, but that's natural, and I'm not letting it take up the whole day. I can see what wasn't great with the relationship, now that's it done. I can see it logically now.

Glad you are feeling a bit brighter xxx

 

[MrsInfortheNose]

My ex is now in a very toxic on/off relationship with the same girl, arguably even worse than the relationship I had with him - but it's a unique situation because she became very very obsessed with me and would message me constantly. We split up in May 2021 and by December 2021 my ex and I were talking more often because he would come to me for relationship advice (I was completely over him by this point).

I have not been in a relationship since and I am so glad, I am early 20s so I have a lot of time and I was only 20 when we split up (was in a relationship 16-21 more or less) it sounds cliche but I have put so much effort into working on myself to never make the same mistakes that i did with him. Learning boundaries, self worth, red flags to not ignore etc and he did the complete opposite. you will 100% feel the same way or even more so than you did for your ex - i felt the same way, like I would never feel for anybody ever again and then i met someone whom I felt deeper for than I ever did my ex. Alas, it did not work out but i was glad to know it can and will happen one day. Jumping from relationship to relationship is the recipe for disaster, i personally don't believe you can get over someone that fast and move on. But definitely don't hold out hope - i did for a little too long until i finally realised it was completely dead. I hope you are okay, truly because I remember the way I felt when this happened and I would never want to feel this way again. Everyone says that it'll pass and it feels like it won't but it definitely does

I am a bit older than you I’m 36 and have split from my partner after 4 years just over three months ago. His decision although I recognise there were elements of the relationship that weren’t right but I loved him very much and was willing to work on our relationship. I’ve just noticed last night that he’s deleted all photos of me from his social media which I’ve found upsetting. I suppose for me I’m fearful now that I will never meet someone and feel the same way that I did for me ex. I also feel I might have missed my opportunity to have children.

 

[Keet]

I have come across this post today and it’s given me some reassurance for what I’m currently going through. So thank you

Same . Love sucks sometimes

 

[MrsInfortheNose]

To the ladies recently commenting on this thread - almost two years ago i split up with my ex of almost 5 years. He was my everything - it was very, very toxic but he was my everything. We split up and within around ten days he was in another relationship. I never saw myself getting over it, i never ever thought i would be okay again but im now the most okay ive ever been and so glad that he is out of my life. It does get better, allow yourself to cry, feel what you need to feel, but just remember that it will pass

Thank you. I needed to hear this . Can I ask did you meet anyone else after and is your ex still with same person he got into a relationship with after the break up? I’m just worried that I’ll never meet someone and feel the same way I did for my ex. I also ruminate on whether he regrets or will regret in the future finishing the relationship.