He messaged his ex…

[emm]

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you Emm.

Why would he even think she would want to hear sorry after 3 years?

I think its a really selfish thing to do tbh, obviously she would have been upset about the breakup and as someone else said it is just reminding her of.it

 

[Tangent Tiger]

How did their relationship end? He should have spoken about this to you beforehand.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Any update @jo1983 ????

 

[jo1983]

you need to break this down:

- he ended the relationship when she didn’t want to? has this always played on his mind? why did he feel the need to message a girl who, after 3 years, has presumably gotten some closure from him?

- you say she told people and knew it would get back to you. i imagine this influenced him telling you as he knew you would find out anyway.

there’s a reason why he randomly decided to message an ex from years ago who he has apparently told you didn’t want to end it with him. and you need to talk to him about it

Thankyou. You have some very good valid suggestions.

I said that too him- hve you been thinking about the way it ended for 3 years?? She has moved on. So have you. Its been 3 years for gods sake (is what i said)

He didnt tell me. He was unaware she had said something otherwise id never have known.

I think this too. He says he was just saying sorry. But yes from past conversations he was the one who walked away. Does he need closure too do you think?

 

[emm]

Exactly

If you asked to see it would he show you?

Also what was the tone of what she was saying about it? Was it braggy? Making fun, thought it was weird?

Honestly if he didn't want to show you I would probably try and meet up with the ex and get the information from her, for all you know he has already deleted the message anyway

 

[jo1983]

Urgh, I always think there’s an ulterior motive for this kinda shit. Have you seen the actual message?

No I haven’t

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you Emm.

Why would he even think she would want to hear sorry after 3 years?

Yes. This. Why would she?!! I certainly wouldn’t.

 

[jo1983]

i would be asking him what triggered it? if we were talking a few months with everything still raw then maybe - but what made him feel the need to do this after 3 years? based on what you’ve said, he wanted to apologise to her but why? that’s so random after that length of time.

i misunderstood sorry! but if HE didn’t tell you then that’s even more of a red flag. if it’s an innocent seeking of closure then what is he hiding?

you need to talk to him and establish what exactly he wanted out of the interaction.

I wondered if he was drunk and had a moment of madness. I said the same- a few mths after then yes i sort of get that.
i feel very uneasy and the trust has gone.

 

[SnoopySnooper86]

No I haven’t


Yes. This. Why would she?!! I certainly wouldn’t.

Exactly

If you asked to see it would he show you?

Also what was the tone of what she was saying about it? Was it braggy? Making fun, thought it was weird?

 

[jo1983]

… to apologise for how their relationship ended… 3 years ago.
Am i crazy to be mad about this? He thinks he was only doing a good deed. She blabbed about it and it got back to me. She knew it would. Instead of her ignoring the message she purposely told people.

 

[Bonniemont]

Also I know this is sneaky but could you check his messages to see if he’s texting her ? Please trust your instincts on this and don’t make excuses for him. Would you ever text your ex while you are in a relationship?!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

………???? @jo1983