Hari Beavis BTC #837 It’s time for a thread…

[KarenOG]

I wonder who her recent video about losing someone is about. It sounded like a partner to me but she’s recently posted with her husband.

She’s stayed quiet when people have commented just to drive up the engagement

 

[Spillthebeans]

I wonder who her recent video about losing someone is about. It sounded like a partner to me but she’s recently posted with her husband.

She’s stayed quiet when people have commented just to drive up the engagement

I assumed it was one of her grandparents, as i’m sure the reason for them doing their first wedding in the UK was because the grandparents wouldn’t likely see the destination wedding

 

[amuseablehollie]

She’s estranged from her mum (?) I’m pretty sure from previous stories, she said it explicitly wasn’t about her and Jake so that’s my 2 pence

 

[Spillthebeans]

She’s estranged from her mum (?) I’m pretty sure from previous stories, she said it explicitly wasn’t about her and Jake so that’s my 2 pence

Oh I didn’t know that, I thought she was somewhat close to her mum

 

[lambrini.mami]

I thought it was her dad she was estranged from because didn’t she live with her mum before she moved in with Jake?

 

[Sophie92]

Yes her dad lives in America and she’s previously gone over to see him but I think it’s him. I’m pretty sure she’s very close to her mum.

 

[Xdestarx]

Forgive me if I'm mixing her up with someone else but didn't she say the other week she stopped being friends with someone she's been friends with for a long time since having the baby?

She did also say she's got a rocky relationship with her mum before but since the baby came she been having her alot so can't have been that bad!

 

[ach0902]

Her new page just popped up on my feed so I read her birth story. I’d watched the video when she posted it. I think she needs to be very careful here because claiming she stopped breathing for three hours is quite extreme and makes me wonder how exaggerated other parts of her story may be.

 

[KarenOG]

Her new page just popped up on my feed so I read her birth story. I’d watched the video when she posted it. I think she needs to be very careful here because claiming she stopped breathing for three hours is quite extreme and makes me wonder how exaggerated other parts of her story may be.

Her birth clearly wasn’t a walk in the park, and inductions are hard. The ward was clearly busy and mismanaged.

However, the way I read her story was that she was shocked by the birthing experience, rather than anything seriously traumatic happening. Again I don’t want to take away from these experiences, but she addressed it to Louise from MIC, who nearly died and had life changing injuries as a result of her birth and treatment.

 

[lambrini.mami]

I’m not particularly fond of Hari and I don’t think she’s very articulate in the way she attempts to portray her opinions and views. The story is poorly worded and difficult to follow and she does have habit for being a drama queen at every slight inconvenience.

However I do absolutely believe, based off the stories of numerous friends who’ve given birth recently, that empathetic and holistic maternity care in the UK is severely lacking. There are some wonderful midwives out there but the system is broken, underfunded and needs change. I can very well believe she had a difficult birthing experience that left her feeling vulnerable. There’s been loads in the news about poor maternity care recently. I even have a friend get turned away from A&E, told they were overreacting by staff to only give birth severely prematurely at home a couple of hours later. Baby is fine and doing well now but could have been very different outcome. We really should be demanding better for women everywhere.

 

[Bluerabbit123]

Why is she suddenly a sleep consultant

 

[Xdestarx]

Which influencer was posting smack about her?

I do find in every video the "I don't have any option but to sleep train because I'm a working mum and I need her to sleep 3 hours a day or I can't pay my mortgage" thing quite backhanded, as if the rest of us are just dossing about with nothing that needs doing!

 

[KarenOG]

Which influencer was posting smack about her?

I do find in every video the "I don't have any option but to sleep train because I'm a working mum and I need her to sleep 3 hours a day or I can't pay my mortgage" thing quite backhanded, as if the rest of us are just dossing about with nothing that needs doing!

There will always be controversy around someone’s decision to or not to sleep train. However, what annoys me is that she now thinks she is an expert in sleep training, when every baby is different and every baby will have different temperaments or challenges as to why they’re not sleeping through the night. She just thinks she knows it all.

 

[stephobz]

Which influencer was posting smack about her?

I do find in every video the "I don't have any option but to sleep train because I'm a working mum and I need her to sleep 3 hours a day or I can't pay my mortgage" thing quite backhanded, as if the rest of us are just dossing about with nothing that needs doing!

Health Visitor Ruth Watts is who has made some instagram stories discussing what Hari has uploaded onto TikTok. It’s not even particularly critical more pointing out that her baby’s sleeping habits are more due to temperament and that another mum could copy completely what Hari is doing and would not be guaranteed the same result.

I’m thinking I will need to unfollow Hari soon as I’m starting to find it all a bit tedious. The whole ‘if I don’t make videos then I don’t make money and my baby doesn’t eat’ thing is wearing really thin. I don’t buy it at all, but even if she and her husband were completely reliant on her income would you not have had a conversation about that pre baby and perhaps pre recorded a load of content to put out so you weren’t in this position? But then she posted earlier this week she’s booked a last minute holiday for next week. So she can’t be short of money.

I remember when my daughter was a few months old and we were in the depths of sleep deprivation I would be sat up at 3am frantically watching/reading this sort of content and trying everything recommended. And 9 times out of 10 it wouldn’t work, and that’s not because it’s bad advice but just because babies are different and what works for one won’t work for all.

I don’t know why she rubs me up the wrong way so much but it annoys me that she seems to have quite a lot of help (she frequently mentions how her Mum or her partner’s Mum have the baby for an afternoon) but then is also putting out content which makes it look as though she’s had to get her baby napping in a cot from such a young age because it’s the only way she can get any work done. I think I just find it all a bit disingenuous.

 

[Esme]

She rubs me up the wrong way too. Personally I think she’s rushed having a baby and it’s been a massive shock to her. Hence rushing back to work, always having her mum there, going on about sleep training. A baby sleeps when a baby sleeps. Yes you are tired and are awake a lot however as baby gets older, this does improve (not what you want to hear when you’re in the depths of sleep deprivation and hanging on).

She strikes me as very self absorbed, insecure and needing validation from strangers. Her girls page popped up the other day. She was doing a wedding hair and make up trial, in her bra and knickers. Like surely she could just wear clothing for it. It’s been mentioned on here a few times the way she dresses, thrusts her chest forwards, body checks etc and sadly she seems to thrive on the attention it gets her. Isn’t the love from her family and friends enough? And most of all her husband enough? It’s sad.

 

[Sockmonkey]

I’ve followed her for a few years and really enjoyed her content, including when she was pregnant and early post partum - it was refreshingly honest. I have an 11 month old baby myself and could relate to a lot. However, I agree with all the above that the sleep content etc is silly and tone deaf. As an allegedly anxious parent herself, she should know that coming across these videos of someone with no merit or qualifications essentially bragging about how they got their baby to sleep is just not helpful. Especially at such a young age. Any kind of sleep training or routine before a baby’s gone through the 4 month regression is a bit futile in my opinion, and I really disagreed with how early she was leaving her baby to sleep in a room on her own. You could have all the monitoring in the world, one of the reason it’s guidance is because being in the same room as your baby helps to prevent them from going into too deep a sleep which is when SIDS is most likely.
There’s so much misinformation out there and unrealistic standards when it comes to baby sleep. Desperate sleep deprived parents will try and cling to anything, and when it’s coming from someone who has no idea what they’re talking about and is literally going against guidance then that is dangerous. And simply saying “this is what works for me, do your own research” is not responsible enough.