Gender discussion #88

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

Had such a sweet interaction at the gym this evening

I usually go to a barbell class on a Thursday and while it’s predominantly female, there’s usually one or two men in the class. However, today I got there and set up early and a new man came in by himself. More and more women started to set up and he seemed to realise he was the only man there. He turned to me and said “excuse me, is this a women’s only class? I didn’t know there were any” And I said “no, there are usually two other male regulars who come” and he said “ok, thanks, I’d just hate to make anyone in here uncomfortable.”

I know it’s such a silly and simple interaction but it restored just a little bit of faith in me. Good men know and understand why we don’t want them in our spaces (even though this one wasn’t) without it being a “personal attack”

I had a similar experience when a man joined our all-female Pilates class (it wasn’t specifically women only, it was just that we happened to have only ever had women there up to that point); when he realised he would be the only man he very politely said that he was happy to find a different class if we preferred as he knew that a man suddenly joining after years of it being women only would create a whole different ‘vibe’.

We assured him that he was very welcome to stay. He’s been there for a while now, he's a very nice bloke and has never once made any of us feel uncomfortable. But there’s the difference: a decent man thinks ‘I don’t want to ruin things for this group of women by making them uncomfortable, so I’ll back off so that they can keep this space for themselves if that’s what they tell me they want.’

 

[Jelly Bean]

About 15 years ago before trans became such a big thing I remember having a conversation with someone about it. I said I couldn't understand how a grown man could claim to know what it was like to be a woman. Because growing up as a girl and woman is a unique experience. Periods are a massive thing. Period pain, blood, embarrassment around it, lack of periods. Then the fear of being pregnant and sometimes the fear of not being pregnant (if you are heterosexual obv. I was seeing it from my viewpoint). But it's so integral to what makes an adult woman. So a twat like Willoughby claiming to be 'more of a woman' than literally any actual woman on the planet is bizarre and delusional.

 

[Dinate]

This is off-topic but I had to post this: a couple in their 70s have been granted permission to become the legal parents of a 14 month baby born to a surrogate. I'm shocked. They decided to try for a surrogate baby after their 27 year old son died of cancer in 2020, but they claim that they weren't trying to replace him. They may not have been trying to replace him but at the very least they wanted the grandchild they would no longer have.

Couple in seventies win the right to parent a surrogate baby

‘Mr and Mrs K’ will be 89 when their boy, born to a surrogate in California, reaches 18

www.thetimes.com

I am genuinely shocked at the selfishness of this decision. They are 72 years old now and will be 76 when he starts school. That child will be completely messed up when he's older from being a surrogate child in the first place and then inevitably losing both parents very young - probably when he's in primary school.

This is appalling.

 

[Funny_bunny]

And there was me at my ripe old age starting to feel happy in my skin but now I realise really all I want is to look like Dylan

This photo has been photoshopped to heck and can yet still…man!

I cannot stand Mulvaney. His frankly insulting depiction of a woman as some outdated pathetic creature comes across as a piss take and not something to aspire to. He has the body of a skinny man, nothing feminine about him, nor his enormous gob like a letterbox with a permanent rictus grin.

 

[Fuel to the flame]

I doubt Victoria actually said this but it made me chuckle at the thought of it

 

[Brian Butterfield]

I don't want to live in this world anymore.

 

[Gomi goner]

Transdermal HRT is much more low risk and therefore safe to take for decades, or indeed until you die. For some women certain symptoms never actually stop (it’s not like your estrogen is magically coming back on its own at any point) so why suffer if it works for you?

The menopause varies so much in how it effects different women that there is no ‘one size fits all’ answer but the demonisation of HRT as a very viable option isn’t helpful. Just because some people ‘cruise through’ menopause doesn’t mean that for others won’t really struggle, and for some HRT really is a life saver.

I’ve really struggled with menopause, no amount of previous gynae/hormone/ period stuff prepared me for it, and getting to a point where I feel anything like “normal” has been a journey to say the least. So the best advice I can give is see your doctor as many times as you need to, refuse to be fobbed off and work out what’s best for you. Other people’s experience and opinions can be useful for information and support but ultimately you have to figure out how best to deal with it in a way that works for you and your menopause.

Sorry, I'm just going to add my bit about menopause and HRT...
I feel like this kind of chat is still in keeping with the theme of thread, which is: women always have been, and still are, getting fucked over by men.
I started getting really bad night sweats about a year ago. We're talking, literally changing PJs 3 or 4 times a night and sleeping on towels because I was constantly waking up DRENCHED (and freezing).
I have a family history of breast cancer (mum) and was told that the progesterone topical gel (which was recc'd by my GP), could increase my risk further, but since I also suffer from insomnia and depression, even before peri- and menopause, I was prepared to take the risk. I need whatever sleep I can get!
Within days (nights), the sweats stopped completely!
At my next review I told my GP I was absolutely going to continue using it because although it may increase my risk of breast cancer by X% it has already demonstrated a 100% chance of stopping my night sweats, so although I'm definitely not making light of breast cancer, it was a no-brainer for me.
Putting the damn cold gel on every night kind of sucks though and I always think if this was aimed at men, there'd have been extensive research and money thrown at it (decades ago) and it would be a nice little pill or something
Apologies for the slight wander off topic.

ETA- Fuck Tom Daly, fuck Graham Norton, and fuck all the men who refuse to believe that peri- and menopause "is no big deal"

 

[minimaz]

Isn't it amazing how many slightly gender non conforming women have been confronted in bathrooms/changing rooms in a few weeks but TIMs like India Willoughby claim to have been using them since age 14 without challenge.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

My daughter at 7 was supposed to allow a boy to stroke and sniff her hair as it calmed him down. He had autism
. My daughter didn't mind initially when he started doing it , she found it sweet but it then got more frequent and he would seek her out. I spoke to the school and was made to feel like it wasn't a huge deal and my daughter didn't mind.
Err don't tell me how my daughter feels when you and the boy are pressuring her to feel it's okay cause it makes your life easier.
Moved schools not long after

My son is autistic and when he was little, he was very sensory seeking and wanted to stroke people all the time. His school gave him a weighted lap cat and he had a circle drawn around him on the floor and he wasn’t allowed to extend his limbs beyond the circle. He learned to manage his feelings in other ways.

If they’d suggested he use a girl as a support animal I would have hit the roof.


I’m so sorry @Nurseali - this sort of shit infuriates me. Girls aren’t emotional support for autistic boys and autistic boys need to learn socially appropriate behaviour. This doesn’t do any of them any favours.

 

[Rabbitweed]

Petition: Require the use of sexed language in government-funded health communications

Require the terms woman, girl and mother be used in their sexed meanings of adult female person, female child and female parent in government-funded healthcare groups and communications including policy and guidance documents, legislation and public health communications.

petition.parliament.uk

Petition to change sex based language in NHS / government funded communications. No more of this sodding "chest feeding", "people with a uterus" etc.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

"Tom Daley says 'it's scary how LGBT rights are being dangerously threatened'
"It's something again where minorities have to come together for the greater good because it is scary.
"And you may see someone else's rights going away and I think it's important that everybody, especially minorities, come together because it won't just be one group that gets targeted.
"Once one group has been targeted, it will move on to the next, and the next, and the next.
"I think the most important thing is staying visible. I think lots of people ask, 'What can you do to be an activist? What can you do to an advocate?'

Says the guy who paid/used a woman as surrogate to have his baby/babies. Shut up Tom and go back to your privileged life and (bad) knitting!

Just what I was thinking - Tom Daley - buyer of babies and exploiter of women's wombs. Why not get one of your lovely TW friends to have your babies for you? - They're even the right SEX for you to shag yourself. Oh - I forgot. They can't because they are MEN.

To men like these women are there to be exploited and used. They aren't people. You can bet your life that if the only transgenders were FtoM, nobody would be supporting the movement.

This is men's demands from start to finish.

 

[nothanksbabes]

Are they (mostly) all using pseudonyms, or so they have aching progressive parents who think ‘Coven’ and ‘Paint’ are great names for children?

View attachment 3579840

I'm so glad I was a teenager at a time when the stupid shit I said and did wasn't recorded forever.

They say that kids are drinking and doing drugs and shagging less than ever which you'd think is a good thing, but not when they've replaced it with this deranged bollocks.

Go and listen to Slipknot and drink some cider in the park for fuck's sake.

 

[Mismatched Pegs]

Is he forgetting his own dodgy history? Pretty sure JKR never handcuffed a young sex worker to a radiator! Correct me if I'm wrong but that was George wasn't it?

Ah yes. This reminded me of something I posted on Insta when they were trying to cancel Roisin Murphy for having opinions. This is probably quite outing to anyone who knows me but I guess we're all friends here...

 

[Nurseali]

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Thank you, everyone, for being so kind

I'm not very good at talking about stuff. I isolate myself entirely when I'm down, which is one of the reasons I love Tattle so much, as it's a safe and undemanding space. You're all wonderful.

 

[Ilovemusic]

"Tom Daley says 'it's scary how LGBT rights are being dangerously threatened'
"It's something again where minorities have to come together for the greater good because it is scary.
"And you may see someone else's rights going away and I think it's important that everybody, especially minorities, come together because it won't just be one group that gets targeted.
"Once one group has been targeted, it will move on to the next, and the next, and the next.
"I think the most important thing is staying visible. I think lots of people ask, 'What can you do to be an activist? What can you do to an advocate?'

Says the guy who paid/used a woman as surrogate to have his baby/babies. Shut up Tom and go back to your privileged life and (bad) knitting!

 

[Metropolis]

Daley is another bro who thinks he’s progressive yet has no appreciation of his inherent misogyny. He bangs on about ‘rights being taken away’, yet as an elite sportsman has no regard for the women who have trained hard like him to professionally compete.

 

[usefullyuseless]

JK being an absolute legend once again

Archive link to article

JK Rowling boosts coffers of new women-only breastfeeding charity

archived 29 May 2025 17:56:47 UTC

archive.ph

 

[DoraMaar]

Good. Another entitled cunt has the rug pulled out from under him .

 

[bananabutter]

Tom Daley was furious that men were prevented from opting to compete in women’s swimming events and were directed towards an ‘open’ category instead:

Transgender athletes: Tom Daley 'furious' about Fina ban

Olympic diving champion Tom Daley says he is "furious" at his sport's world governing body for voting to stop transgender athletes from competing in women's elite events.

www.bbc.com

Apparently, it’s not fair: "Anyone that's told that they can't compete or can't do something they love just because of who they are, it's not on.” But it’s fine for women to lose medals to the likes of Lia Thomas, and to have to get changed with them.

Women aren’t people to Tom. They are hireable incubators who must serve men’s purposes or politely step aside and STFU.

No one’s saying they can’t compete. They’re saying they can’t compete in the incorrect category could I join our local under 13s football team? No. Does that mean I can’t join an adults team? No.