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Lucy Aeroplane

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And I know this thread is a bit of an echo chamber. I usually try and sit on my fingers when reading stuff I disagree with here, as I know it'll lead to a pile-on, but sometimes I can't help myself! I'll stop now, though. :D
I don’t join in with this thread much, and don’t do any real life GC stuff, as I’m not terfy enough for the proper terfs (I believe in a very small proportion of people being “tru trans”) but I’m way too terfy for the TRA side (because I recognise that there are numerous cases where predators have adopted a trans identity to get easy access to predate on women and children and traumatise them, and I know the importance of single sex spaces to allow women to thrive in patriarchal society). But I’m adding my 2p worth here today because you’re coming across as increasingly disingenuous. It’s not an “echo chamber” here, it’s a bunch of people from a variety of backgrounds (including other gay men!) who all recognise the mission creep that’s causing harm to women, children, and homosexual people of either sex. You and others like you are just ignoring us when we’re explaining what the problems are and why we think it’s important to maintain single sex spaces and activities. You’re just ignoring us.

It’s plain rude, if nothing else, to refuse to listen to us, to actually hear what we’re saying, when we’re earnestly sharing our experiences and concerns. Rude to dismiss those concerns as an echo chamber.

Maybe you could think about why so many different types of people have the same opinions on this? It’s not because we’re ignorant - quite the opposite, I’d suggest that many of us probably know far more about the dangers of predatory males for example, than those who are determined to pretend there is no possible danger in eliminating boundaries for women and children.

It’s also disconcerting for me - a bisexual woman who’s always had gay and lesbian friends, who’s seen the abuse they’ve been subjected to, even from their own families - that so many people want to handwave away conversations about the inherent homophobia in so much of the trans movement. It’s just not right to try and guilt or gaslight homosexual people into accepting people with opposite-sex bodies as potential partners. And please don’t pretend for a moment that isn’t happening because I’ll come back with a hundred links - when we’re at the stage where there are instructional videos for gay men to learn to eat pussy, when lesbians are being taught mindfulness techniques to learn to receive penetration with a “female” penis, then surely even the most tone deaf trans activist needs to accept there’s a problem here? It’s sick, in my opinion, I grew up in the 80s and 90s and 2000s, and gay and lesbian people were finally gaining the right to simply be gay and lesbian and get on with their lives. As a teenager and in my twenties I joined my friends at Pride to support them in trying to get that acceptance and understanding (and you know what, even my working-class observant-Christian parents were supportive of me going to Pride, they would give me the money for my one-day travelcard before I was working/could afford my own train tickets) - and that hard won right is being shat all over by the trans movement insisting that males are women now and females are men now. I know lesbian uni students who literally don’t go out to anything social at uni now because every single time, they get hit on by males larping as lesbians and they don’t know how to deal with it without getting cancelled in their social circles. The harm being done is real, in those cases to young women who don’t yet have the confidence to say no.

And I would need to do a whole separate post to go through the harm being done to young autistic women and survivors of SA by this; I’m autistic/a survivor and would 100% have been sucked into it if I was a teenager, and I’ve cried so many times reading accounts from detransitioners because I know full well that could easily have been me, so I really really feel their agony.

It’s awful and it’s even more awful that there are people actively pretending there’s no harm in any of this.

This thread is a wide cross section of people, some of us old school lefties (I’m in that bracket fwiw), some of us pretty much tories, some of us libertarian, some of us authoritarian, some of us completely apolitical. There are mums, dads, child free people, grandparents, aunts, uncles. There are straight, bi, gay, and lesbian people. This thread - and gender critical dialogue generally - is not populated by people who think the same and won’t talk to anyone they disagree with. It’s populated by people who see where the trans activists’ focus has taken us and who are alarmed, not least by the lack of discussion and debate on the fundamental issues that has been permitted until very recently. We need to be allowed to talk about it and about why it’s important to acknowledge that trans activism isn’t some harmless movement.

So with the greatest respect to you, if you’re going to continually post on this thread from the opposite viewpoint to the majority of posters, at least give us the respect of being open and honest about your stance, instead of being disingenuous and sealioning about it all. I have agreed with some things you’ve posted elsewhere, including on the LGB thread, so please don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m anti-you - I just don’t like falseness. I don’t think many of us who post or lurk on this thread do. Please just be more real and genuine here and you’ll get more respect, even if it is by way of a ferocious disagreement. If you’re confident in your right-ness then you’ll have no problem defending it.
 
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ozblackcat

VIP Member
Sorry I know I’m super late about the man attempting breastfeeding on a bus, but I just have to get this out. I have breastfed 6 kids. With actual milk. That kid is not latched, in any way. Its face is scrunched, it’s just smashed into the man’s chest because he gets off on it the dirty fucker.
Secondly, any actual mother would know, you do any feeding before you leave the house. It would be a desperate situation for me to get a baby out of a secure pram & feed them on a bus. But he’s doing it to show off and cause the most drama, the fucking cockwomble.

I cannot understand how this is allowed. If my husband took our baby in public and lifted his shirt and got the baby to lick his nipples, there would be outrage and the police would be called! But it would be ok if he had a dress on and shitty long hair?!

give me strength
 
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maytoseptember

VIP Member
I accept many others do, but that doesn't mean they're right and I'm wrong.

You seem to be suggesting that because some people think it's a slur then I have to accept it is. But that's not true. If someone calls me 'cis' as a descriptor I have no issue with it. I just see them as saying I was born a man and clearly present as a man. I just see it as on a par with saying biological man or woman.
You are perfectly entitled to see “cis” as a neutral term. You just have to accept that other people don’t, especially women.

Maybe, as a man, you just don’t have the experience of having your “cis-ness” used against you as a weapon. Having people treat you like an oppressor group. As a man, do you experience even a fraction of the shit women receive in public life?

You don’t have your toilets converted to “gender neutral” toilets - you keep your urinals and keep the men’s as men only.

You don’t have charities and the NHS calling you “testicle havers”. You don’t have condom companies advertising their products to “penis owners”. Would you enjoy being hit on by a trans man in a binder, and being called a transphobe for not finding them attractive?

Think about it - if gender ideology affected you personally as much as it affects women, maybe you wouldn’t be so cool about little things like being called “cis”.
 
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Metropolis

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Well, it is an echo chamber. I don't say that to be insulting; it's just the truth. It's pretty much like groundhog day. Someone posts a tweet and everyone quotes it with variations of "how awful, the world is so bad". Paraphrasing admittedly, but you get the gist.

I've read people saying similar things elsewhere and how they avoid this place because there's no balance. That's their choice, but I personally don't mind speaking up with what I believe. You can call me disingenuous all you like, but I don't make up opinions for strangers on the internet. I say what I think and I feel I do so without being rude or shouty.
About this place being an echo chamber: well, you probably won’t have experienced this not being a woman and therefore not hanging around internet spaces specifically aimed at women (e.g women’s sporting sites, breastfeeding sites, women’s health sites), but literally over the last few years, the places where we felt previously free to discuss things that impacted us due to our biology have been taken over by men masquerading as women.

Rather than challenge the presence of males on those sites, mods have by and large ‘moderated’ the biological women because #be kind and #transphobia. Inclusivity in women‘s spaces now means including men. The places where women are free to express themselves without moderation are now few and far between. A lot of TIMs get off on joining women’s forums because it makes them feel ‘valid’, irrespective of the fact that they’ll never face the issues we face. A lot of them are also, frankly, AGPs.

So when women do happen across a space where we can chat about issues that are impacting us and that are threatening to us, we are angry, we are relieved to find like-minded people and we want to vent. We also want to share the small victories against trans ideology. There may not appear to be balance here, but that is because there literally is hardly anywhere we can discuss things without being shorted down or reported for transphobia. If you want the other side of the argument, you can pretty much get that from any other forum.
 
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DoubleEntendre

Active member
Oh, I am currently RAGING. I've just come across a detransitioner - not going to say too much but this lass had a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, double mastectomy, took testosterone etc, has now stopped. The reason I'm raging is that she also has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and various other mental health issues. All of these predate her gender dysphoria. So any number of medical professionals basically looked at this girl and thought, yup, that's fine, we'll just ignore all her mental health issues and crack on with surgery and medication. And now, several years down the line, she's now changed her mind. I can't rant like this to anyone in real life but honestly, it's made me so cross.

Obviously people with bipolar and mental health problems absolutely have the right to make complex decisions and we shouldn't take that away from them, but I just feel that this poor lass - and goodness knows how many others - have been so, so let down by the people who should have supported them.
 
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maytoseptember

VIP Member
Well, it is an echo chamber. I don't say that to be insulting; it's just the truth. It's pretty much like groundhog day. Someone posts a tweet and everyone quotes it with variations of "how awful, the world is so bad". Paraphrasing admittedly, but you get the gist.

I've read people saying similar things elsewhere and how they avoid this place because there's no balance. That's their choice, but I personally don't mind speaking up with what I believe.
So you see your role in this thread as some sort of crusader against the boring TERFs and their Groundhog Day rhetoric? 🤣

Yes, this thread IS an echo chamber 🙌 I pretty much can count the number of internet spaces that allow women to speak against gender ideology freely and without censure on one hand.

If that bothers people they can go pretty much… anywhere else on the internet and clap themselves on the back for being good trans allies.
 
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Em_gardener

VIP Member
You don't think it's a slur but many others do. You have been told this before by many people. I am a woman that's it, pure and simple, a woman. I am not a cis woman and anyone who insists on calling me that and who insists it isn't a bad thing really doesn't have anyone else's but thier own interests at heart.

Woman or transwoman, that's all that's needed.
Trans feelings about language don't trump women's feelings about language. We don't like being called cis. That should be the end of it.
 
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Mismatched Pegs

VIP Member
I think non-binary is daft but at least you can grow out of it (like an Emo or goth phase). It's just a way of people saying they're androgynous really.

The compelled speech on pronouns is the most annoying thing about it. I suspect that most who are non-binary now will grow up in the next 10 years, revert back to what they were before and feel a bit embarrassed about it. At least they are not getting surgery (unless sucked into going the full way to be trans).
My 18 year old identifies as NB and has done for about 4 years. She has used a horrible contraction of her beautiful name for years through school. Husband and I have never bought into the NB thing, never called her the 3 letter contraction of her name and don't use they/them pronouns for her. Noticed very recently that she'd ordered something online with a company she'd not ordered from before and when it arrived, it was addressed to her full name. I think you're right, they do grow out of it and that she's gone quietly back to considering herself female. (I haven't asked her about it because she's very much TWAW and I'm GC - so it has caused issues in the past) I feel like if we'd gone along with her demands to "respect" her pronouns, she'd have found it more difficult to row back and save face at a later date. I wish the schools and other people <<side eyes sanctimonious cunt of a sister>> didn't indulge this crap. It makes it harder for kids to just play around with their identity and go back to just being themselves when they've got it out of their systems.

Anyway apparently I'm not supposed to announce that this is my first post, but it is. Been lurking for about six months and just wanted to say I thoroughly enjoyed earwigging in on your conversations (even though at times the subject matter is awful)
 
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Kizzie

Active member
Pansexuality is similar to bisexuality and I have no issue with that. Cisgender is just another way of saying biological and I've explained here in the past I don't see it as a slur (in fact I think it's a bit insulting to liken it to words like the n-word, f-word, etc, as it reduces the severity of them, but that's another topic).

And I know this thread is a bit of an echo chamber. I usually try and sit on my fingers when reading stuff I disagree with here, as I know it'll lead to a pile-on, but sometimes I can't help myself! I'll stop now, though. :D
You don't think it's a slur but many others do. You have been told this before by many people. I am a woman that's it, pure and simple, a woman. I am not a cis woman and anyone who insists on calling me that and who insists it isn't a bad thing really doesn't have anyone else's but thier own interests at heart.

Woman or transwoman, that's all that's needed.
 
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The bank stuff is really sinister. There must be an ombudsman or someone that people can complain to? How is anyone meant to even get paid without having a bank account.
It's mad how it's perfectly fine for rapists, convicted pedophiles, murderers, racists, homophobs and wife beaters to have a bank account but God forbid if you say a man cannot be a woman or vice versa!! 🤣🤣 it really is a cult.
 
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BlairWaldorf86

VIP Member
If a trans man hit on me in a binder and called me a transphobe for not finding them attractive, I'd shrug it off. I've had insults from plenty of biological men the second they realised I didn't find them attractive as well - it's a form of defensiveness and anger and I don't have time for it, so I move on.
Yes, because you are a MAN.

Women don’t have the luxury of being able to do that, whether we are being asked to accept a female penis or just hit on by a normal man. When rejecting a man, women have to take into account that he may attack us or even rape us.

It’s not the same and this imbalance applies across so many issues. You find a trans man in your toilet? You’d probably shrug or laugh. We find a trans woman in our toilet? We will feel threatened. (I know loads of handmaidens say they don’t care, but they’ve probably never actually had to experience it.)
 
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Regina Fellangi

Well-known member
I don’t know about the maybeline thing, like a couple of people, as long as the men don’t say they’re women, I am not fussed. We talk about breaking down stereotypes, so if that helps « the cause » paint your nails, put on a lippy and mascara and go for it i say.
Maybe this can show boys or men that you don’t have to pretend you’re the other sex and invade our spaces if you like a bit of a make up?
Personally while I have no problem with men wearing make-up, I think the issue here is that in every area of women's products we are increasingly seeing men being used to advertise them. Whereas the same can't be said of advertising for traditionally men's products. It all smacks of erasing women in favour of men to me.
 
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MmmB777

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Honestly if it TRANSpires that this is two males that have done this and they’ve described suspects they’re actively looking for as “women” then the whole world needs to wake up really fucking quickly and get really fucking angry. Needs direct action.
 
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Proud terf day here. Along with H from Steps and Janey Godley I have now been blocked by Jonathan Willoughby. Miss you, big guy.
 
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weeweegie

VIP Member
I’m currently suffering from really painful menstrual cramps, this is my 35th year of menstruating and experiencing these cramps every single month, bar the 9 months I was pregnant (which was replaced with all day nausea and evening sickness). Despite it being 2023 I’m still expected to take on the emotional and mental load of family life. To look after my elderly parents despite having brothers, it’s always down to me as I’m the daughter (or it’s the niece/aunt/any female relative) of the family. There is so much women go through and put up with that men have no idea about, or just don’t care. India Willoughby couldn’t conceive of any of it. He makes me sick. The sheer audacity to say he’s the same as me. He can GTF.
 
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