Funny things you've overheard strangers say

[WilmaHun]

I was just walking through my local high street going to the post office. A young couple came out of Greggs and the girl said "I wish I had some spinach, spinach on pizza is such a vibe". It really made me laugh, seemed a strange thing to come out with

What funny things have you overheard strangers say in public?

 

[Katykatykaty]

Walking along a path beside someone’s garden I once heard a voice shout “Get out of the shed now, you are not one of your dad’s special projects!” Ive wondered ever since what kind of special projects the dad had in his shed!

 

[Giggling Squid]

In waitrose before lockdown, a mum and her small child, maybe 3 or 4, and she was refusing to move so the mum started to walk off.

The little girl then shouted out “no, mummy, come back.... you’ve forgotten your bum plasters for when you bleed!”

The poor woman, she looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her, I felt bad laughing but it was just so funny

 

[bunnyboo]

American tourist to Dublin bus driver "Sir... Sir... Can you help me connect my phone to Dublin Bus WiFi?"

The driver goes "Sure! You take the steering wheel while I have a look!"

 

[Rahrah]

A man and his friend walking behind me, one man was loudly, and angrily shouting about how he was to old to be working full days and he left at 12pm everyday with £50 in his back pocket as he had done his dues for years. I assumed he was maybe mid forties, they walked past me and he could not have more than 24-I don’t know why but it made me laugh all the way home.

 

[Kim Mild]

I once worked somewher that sold little decorative scarecrow ( amongst other things of course). A customer asked for a discount because it looked scruffy . My manager informed them that scarecrow are meant to look rather raggedy and disheveled.

 

[ChipshopElvis]

My parents owned a chippy, I remember when I was a student I'd work there. This still tickles me, two girls talking in the queue and one says "you have chips every day, you even have chips with mash potato" and her friend shouts back "it's what we vegetarians eat".

 

[fookinhellm8_]

“Eat my hole!” overheard in an Asda car park when a man was locked out of his car.

Two friends at a local cinema thinking South Africans were just Australians because of the accent, “They’re Aussies because they sound like Aussies; they just live in South Africa!” How did they make that assumption?

And a fight broke out in a local McDonald’s on bonfire night because a woman thought this girl was having an affair with her boyfriend when the girl was his sister and they weren’t introduced, the girl’s friend was shouting “save the chicken nugget share box!” Because this woman was jumping over the table to get at this girl. Safe to say, the nuggets were a little squished but saved. Can’t say they’ll ever forget that happening.

 

[under the ivy]

I was on a Megabus travelling from Washington D.C to New York. There was a guy on there on the phone talking SO loud. One highlight of his conversation was ‘oh so if you’re pregnant, we won’t need to use a rubber right?’ A woman on the bus shouted at him ‘DUDE THERES KIDS ON THIS BUS’

 

[Instawally]

Heard a couple argue outside my house and as he walked away she shouted “your a shite ride anyway”

 

[Alistess]

Walking through Bryant Park in New York I passed two Wall Street type young men. As I passed them, one was saying, “How’s your grandad? How’s his anus?”
I love New York.

 

[Kimbo92]

an American at Edinburgh Castke asked the guide if they could see London from here

 

[lexiloo]

I walked past the pie counter in Morrisons and heard an old guy say "Is it proper meat in the pork pies or minced up bollocks?" I still chuckle when I walk past to this day

 

[Eureka]

“This bus smells of fish”

In my opinion it didn’t btw

 

[BigBrenda]

Years back sitting in my dads garden and we heard someone screaming “ oh no oh Christ duck.. he’s cut his leg off.... again.” We waited ages thinking surely we’d hear the police and ambulance rushing round??. Nope absolutely silent. still want to know, how you cut your leg of TWICE.

 

[lozzapaloozza]

The best thing I’ve overheard came from myself and my friend but the entire bus laughed so I’m speaking for them

Me: It smells like Terry’s chocolate orange”
My friend: “No you fatty it’s an actual orange”

 

[Rxt156]

I was in the toilet in a Wetherspoons and heard a few drunk girls doing their make up and discussing several things before they left one of them said
“Come on girls let’s do a sassy walk out of here”

 

[Piff paff puff]

Heard in a car showroom the salesman asking the customer if he wants to bring "the wife" before he decides on the car. No idea why but I always find it funny when they mention "the wife" it's like, no deal is on until "the wife" has the final say.

 

[BirkenheadTranny]

I was in the toilet in a Wetherspoons and heard a few drunk girls doing their make up and discussing several things before they left one of them said
“Come on girls let’s do a sassy walk out of here”

Hahaha Queens

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Was at the dr's and as I walked past a door I overheard somebody loudly saying "why are you naked"

I still wonder what happened there