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She's a witch. She gets off by putting you down and seeing your reaction. It's hurtful and I think you really have to ask yourself whether there are any advantages to having her in your life (I'd say there aren't).
Sorry
Edited to add, I appreciate that you have been in one another's lives for so long, so ending the friendship might feel wrong in consideration of that; however, it's important to realise that people do change and evolve. If your friend is making you feel this way, remove her ability to do so (which means ditching her).
I had a friend who made me feel very uneasy every time we caught up ... she more questioned everything I said and did - asked for examples of everything, which was bloody annoying in itself (it felt as if I was justifying my actions, decisions and thoughts in every way, a bit like I was talking to a therapist!). I tried to tell her that I thought it would be best that we put some distance in between us as I felt we were moving in different directions, and she turned crazy ... she'd just show up at my work, at my house ... call me constantly ... it was very, very annoying.
I wonder if your "friend" might act the same way ... in which case, you'd be best just to ghost her.
This said, do you know if your friend acts towards others as she does you? If she does, then maybe it would be worthwhile a couple of you having a quiet word to her, to give her a chance to change her behaviour and do better.
Sorry
Edited to add, I appreciate that you have been in one another's lives for so long, so ending the friendship might feel wrong in consideration of that; however, it's important to realise that people do change and evolve. If your friend is making you feel this way, remove her ability to do so (which means ditching her).
I had a friend who made me feel very uneasy every time we caught up ... she more questioned everything I said and did - asked for examples of everything, which was bloody annoying in itself (it felt as if I was justifying my actions, decisions and thoughts in every way, a bit like I was talking to a therapist!). I tried to tell her that I thought it would be best that we put some distance in between us as I felt we were moving in different directions, and she turned crazy ... she'd just show up at my work, at my house ... call me constantly ... it was very, very annoying.
I wonder if your "friend" might act the same way ... in which case, you'd be best just to ghost her.
This said, do you know if your friend acts towards others as she does you? If she does, then maybe it would be worthwhile a couple of you having a quiet word to her, to give her a chance to change her behaviour and do better.
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Just to add another layer of confusion… I would normally start distancing, but I am her maid of honour in about 2 months time, and she is due to be mine next year! Which again makes me question, is this all in my head?! Would she have asked me if she really hated me deep down?! I am beyond confused. And I’ve thought about ‘resigning’ as MoH. But it feels like a crappy thing to do :/
If you have to, be her MOH. (And I’m only saying that because her wedding is a few weeks away) But no bleeping WAY have her as yours! the woman is horrible to you, puts you down, makes you feel bad etc - why on Earth would you want her in your life, let alone your wedding is beyond me?!
get her wedding out of the way. Then cut ties with her. She’s not a true friend; she’s treating you like tit. you seem to feel like you are obligated to keep her in your life - you don’t. You don’t have to put up with this crap. Cut ties with her and leave her in the past.
I actually had this with one of my MOHs! (I had two) She had always been difficult but I’d been there for her when she moved to another country and I felt like our relationship was really strong and I asked her whilst she was away. When she got back to England she completed changed as a person and since she wasn’t feeling so vulnerable and needing my support she completely changed and became quite nasty and competitive with everyone. As it got closer to the wedding she made it all about her and all my bridesmaids were sick of her by the end of it. She refused to go on my hen for because it wasn’t in a country she wanted to go to and caused fights with everyone, so much so that they were done with her by the time the wedding came around.
On reflection if someone had told me all the trouble she would have caused and how we aren’t friends now I would of demoted her as it makes looking back at the pics a bit sad now. You could always say you don’t fancy having bridesmaids or a MOH anymore and want to have flower girls instead or neither just to throw her off?
I had this happen to me with a girl I was friends with. I ghosted her in the end because she always made me feel really crappy whenever I seen her, she was actually really surprised and played the victim when I cut her off. Haven’t spoken to her since and it’s been four years and I don’t miss her
You leave not feeling good. Enough said to end it.
I think if you’re coming away from spending time with them feeling down, upset and confused then it’s just not a friendship. I had two friends like this and in the end I just distanced myself and it was hard at the time but now I feel loads happier. You’ll pine for the friendship you had but honestly it just sounds like she’s changed and not in a good way.
If you don’t want to step away, next time she says one of her nasty comments say there and then, that’s not very nice. Call her out. If she doesn’t mean it she will apologise and be sorry she’s upset her friend. If she doesn’t, then that tells you all you need to know.
If you don’t want to step away, next time she says one of her nasty comments say there and then, that’s not very nice. Call her out. If she doesn’t mean it she will apologise and be sorry she’s upset her friend. If she doesn’t, then that tells you all you need to know.
I think you need to speak to her ASAP.
Yes she’s getting married and has asked you to be maid of honour but the way she has treated you shoshe has underlining resentment.
Once you speak to her then you can decide to be her maid of honour or not. Or you can bite your tongue and be maid of honour for old times sake.
I just think it’s healthier to share how you feel and give her a chance to explain herself.
Yes she’s getting married and has asked you to be maid of honour but the way she has treated you shoshe has underlining resentment.
Once you speak to her then you can decide to be her maid of honour or not. Or you can bite your tongue and be maid of honour for old times sake.
I just think it’s healthier to share how you feel and give her a chance to explain herself.
I was in the same situation with a couple of friends. They made snarky comments, hit me where it hurt, tried to put me down to make themselves feel superior (the clothes comments you mention seem familiar - just in my case it related to house and boyfriend).
I was really hurt and distanced myself from them. I just didn't like them anymore.
it might actually be the case that our friends hurt me and you because they were hurting themselves but didn't want to show it, but it still changed how I felt about my friends. The trust was gone somehow, I didn't feel like I could be vulnerable again with them.
I was really hurt and distanced myself from them. I just didn't like them anymore.
it might actually be the case that our friends hurt me and you because they were hurting themselves but didn't want to show it, but it still changed how I felt about my friends. The trust was gone somehow, I didn't feel like I could be vulnerable again with them.
One of my “friends” is like this and the rest of us have picked up on it much more, recently. But I have a theory she is very insecure deep down, she’s unhappy with her relationship, so she talks to other men. But she’s smart about it, she won’t attack the stronger members of our group (who would shut her down quick), she attacks one of the girls who isn’t strong enough to say anything and brushes it under the carpet.
Ive been trying to phase this witch out for months
and finally everyone else is seeing her rude attitude too. I would say, attend the wedding and then ghost her, she’s horrible to you!
Ive been trying to phase this witch out for months
and finally everyone else is seeing her rude attitude too. I would say, attend the wedding and then ghost her, she’s horrible to you!
Honestly, just get rid you will feel so much better.
I had a “friend” just like her and the minute I ghosted her the better I felt. You absolutely do not deserve the treatment you’re receiving!
I had a “friend” just like her and the minute I ghosted her the better I felt. You absolutely do not deserve the treatment you’re receiving!
Me too!
She may have all the appearances of being successful and fullfilled, but I think she is jealous of you. I would let her fade away into the background, and seek friends that boost your self esteem.