Food and Drink #38

[BubbleDuck]

Just popping in to say hello, hope everyone is ok and sending positive energy to anyone who isn’t

ducklings rudely ignored their grounding, arriving Saturday afternoon , both are healthy and a good weight considering they were technically early. We are all home now and embracing the chaos, so depending on sleep schedules, I hope to be caught up and back in tattle real-time sometime in the next decade or so

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

We picked up Owl Pup today!

 

[skronkywildcat]

Not to be all Jack and stuff but my mum is having investigations re possible cancer. she’s lost weight (5 kilos) and she’s going for a CT scan next Tuesday. Both her parents had this same cancer and she should have had checks every 5 years but covid got in the way so it’s been over 6 years since her last scan - so it’s a bit worrying.

 

[kachoochoo]

hey ninnies. I've been! got signed off this week and next and upping my citalopram

thanks for all the support, you turgid slipstream of nefarious trolls now fuckoff

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Speaking of cat treats, this is Sideboard Cat's face when I asked her if she wanted some treats earlier. She obvs did, asking is merely a formality.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Those little boys playing the keyboard and bongos look so out of place

I've invited my elderly mum over for lunch tomorrow & apparently my brother has "been up in the loft".

Honestly shitting it about what they are bringing. Mum had a big fall in the autumn & she's not quite 'mum' at the moment & don't expect she ever will be again. But, as much I love her, I don't want to see 'bits' that have been stored 20+yrs ago.

ETA. She had a massive stroke, fell over in her garden & was there for 12hrs until a neighbour heard her screaming.
I'm a lucky bastard to get some of her back, I adore my Mum x

 

[traumatised sideboard]

How cute is Owl Pup??

@heretoreaditall2019 I am feeling a bit better, thank you for asking. I actually bought a Plant Kitchen lasagne yesterday as I was spunking an unexpected cold weather payment. I dropped it face down (does a lasagne have a face? Asking the important questions) when I got home and it fortunately survived, only to exact its revenge by giving me indigestion.

Here's Sideboard Cat giving her best dismissive face for anyone who wants to feel silently judged this weekend. We've been hanging out on the sofa together all day every day since she came home so my camera roll is 99% cat on sofa, apologies.

 

[EddieBeds]

@EddieBeds how are you doing today

I’m on a long journey home and about to check the MT for if there’s been a chaos as my signal isn’t good enough for a tiktok binge lol.

Very tired but as ok as I can be thank you lovely.

Spoiler: Update - tw mental health / alienation

I typed up some info to give to the GP last night and by chance bumped into them this morning. They were so lovely, have taken the letter/will read and while they said Mr Beds blaming me/acting out of character towards me is very typical when people have ill mental health acknowledged it was a difficult/horrible situation. They also said the last appointment raised lots of red flags for them in terms of Mr Beds current mental health and he needs specialist intervention. I also explained how his family were alienating me which concerned them. I’ve also asked if a referral can be made to Early Help service - thank you for the suggestions and reassurance around this ninnies.

Mr Beds has an appointment today and I’m a nervous wreck. He’s coming over beforehand and I’ve offered to take him (to try and ensure he gets there) but I’m really apprehensive as to how he’s going to respond if he doesn’t hear what he wants to hear etc. He also wants to ‘talk’ and no idea what about. While he is still in this manic episode it feels pointless to try and talk of anything seriously as he gets easily agitated if I don’t agree or reinforce a boundary. I also feel really sad that I’m worried about talking to my own partner when ordinarily it wouldn’t be an issue. Sorry am rambling as I’m getting anxious about it.

But really, thank you for the kind words of support and suggestions - it really does mean a lot.

 

[mince]

@Falkor, your animals are everything.

Ninnies, I’m having a morning. We had to have Bad Cat put to sleep at the weekend. The vet at the out of hours surgery said he was very, very old. He’d been doing okay, but some changes made us take him to his normal vet last week, and we were waiting on the bloods results from that visit to plan a course of action. On Sunday he went downhill very quickly and it was obvious that the bloods results no longer mattered.

Anyway, I didn’t know vets sent condolences cards. One arrived from our normal vet on Tuesday and did me in, then this morning one arrived from the out of hours vet with HIS PAW PRINTS IN. Fuck me, and I’m trying to work.

He was with us for just five years. He was an ex-stray ginger beast from across the border (Yorkshire) who hated the other animals, adored my Harold, and I miss him even more than he missed the litter tray we had to put down because if we didn’t he’d piss upstairs anyway

Give your beasts a tickle (not a metaphor).

 

[skronkywildcat]

I’m puppy sitting - meet Honey.

 

[EddieBeds]

Spoiler: Update - tw mental health / coercion?

I feel like I’m in a nightmare. Mr Beds still isn’t at home and is with his parents. He’s now denying he’s ill and in a manic episode and I’m at fault for taking him to the GP. His parents are enabling/supporting this because they don’t believe in ill mental health.

By accident I uncovered that they’ve actively sought to cut me off from those in the immediate and wider family who were supporting me (I realise these relatives are in a compromised position - however if they knew what I did would be disgusted but now isn’t the time to light that touch paper). Mr Beds is ill so I understand his actions/words despite how hurtful and false they are are a result of this and know once’s he’s out of this stage will be horrified (but will endeavour to make sure he has the support in place to deal with this). His relationship ordinarily with his parents is fairly non-existent but it’s toxic what they’re doing/saying.

It’s just scaring me because of the children - if it was just us two it would be different. I’m trying to remain hopeful as and when he comes out of this episode he comes back to me but I feel like my life partner has died currently.

Sorry I don’t know what the point of this mithering is but I’m just really sad I’m taking the brunt of this after all we’ve been through before - I know it’s the illness but it still hurts. I spoke with Mind who were really reassuring and have pointed me to some resources but it’s still so scary and unknown.

 

[Sglodion]

I'm about to go back and read the thread from the start so hope this doesn't land in an inappropriate place, but I just wanted to say I had my CELTA interview this morning and I've got a place!!! Now for the mad rush as I try to get myself and all my stuff to Vietnam within a few months!

 

[shugabug23]

I need to have a me-rail but don’t want to derail the MT, so apologies in advance but…

I went to the doc two weeks ago today and told him “I need help”. I was elevated afterwards. Felt like there was a two year weight lifted off my shoulders. He gave me Phenergan (for sleeping although yet to cave in on those) told me to keep taking my 25mg escitalopram and referred me for talk therapy. It’s the talk therapy I needed the most as have become quite reclusive the last 3 months pulling away from everyone trying to help as found out they had a little fucking whatsapp group

Got a call from the local counselling service this morning. Thrilled! Fraus, she told me there’s an 8 month waiting list 🫤

To say I’m thrown is an understatement. One step forward two weeks ago just now feels like a million steps back.

It’s exhausting. I know the HSE is on its knees but our healthcare isn’t free. It’s €60 for a doctors appointment, plus prescriptions are fully payable.

I’ve wrote all that and now I’m thinking should I even bother posting Why am I prattling on to a bunch of strangers who don’t give a shit lol.

All I know is, I neeeeeed ‘herself’ to do something ultra wacky today so I can distract my brain by laughing at all you mithering ninnies and the wonderfully funny shit ye come out with

Don’t worry I’m grand. I’m off to touch grass bring the pup for a nice beach walk and clear the brain. Thanks for providing a safe space to talk out loud without fear of the gossip WhatsApp group eyeballing me

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Morning Nins. I don’t post here often but I just wanted to pop by and say thank you for your help/support during the PiP application/assessment. I got a letter through today and I have been awarded PIP for 3 years. As I said previously the assessment was much better than I had hoped for, but I didn’t expect such a quick decision. What a difference it will make.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I got QI tickets lads...

 

[traumatised sideboard]

The sofa war rages on, the void next to my basic bitch stag cushion pretends not to notice. She's been so needy today, she jumped on the bed for cuddles first thing then was proper screaming at me for her breakfast as I had the audacity to have my own breakfast first. Truly the queen has arrived.

Spoiler: smol me-rail

In case anyone wanted to know how my review went, they've increased my mood stabiliser. Soon I will be rattling when I walk but if it stops me mithering about my own life it's worth it.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Many congrats Bubbly D! Welcome smol duckos.

I found something in Lidl for all the nightsnack aficionados. At first I thought it was some sort of wearable snack delivery device but it's just a glorified bowl which is v disappointing.

Spoiler: following on from childfree chat

For some reason after years of being vehemently anti-child, over the last couple of months I've realised that I do want children but I'll never be able to have them and it's absolutely destroying me. Reading other people's experiences is helping me come to terms with those feelings although it's still painful at the moment. Solidarity with frauen in the same position

 

[Falkor]

To be honest Notty-babe, I’ve done some more internet investigations and both the breville hot cup and the coffee machines apparently don’t give boiling water, it’s like 90c so I think I’ll just stick with a kettle. Shame though.

I think the only thing that would do that is a boiling water tap, like the Quooker or something similar.

Managed to get on the quad and go and see the horses yesterday, surprised myself by blubbing all over them, but feel properly home now

 

[Emmapism]

Just arrived at my fellas for the week. He's on a health kick and this is me looking in his kitchen for food that isn't chicken or vegetables

 

[EddieBeds]

Too short. Whats our password?
---

Ah I loved him (the real one). There was a heartbreaking story in The Guardian about him a couple of years ago.
---
@EddieBeds how are you doing today?

Ok-ish.

Spoiler: Update / me rail / tw mental health / addiction

Mr Beds went to the appointment and came out looking quite shocked and said the Dr had said about for him to return home the right conditions need to be in place.

He’s adamant he needs a diagnostic review and saying I lied to the Dr at the previous appointment and that he hasn’t done XYZ behaviour or anything to endanger the children (his parents are colluding with this). Today I’ve been told the Dr said something completely different about him coming back home and he’s claiming it’s just relationship issues. It’s so obvious he’s lying and spinning tales. I get he’s ill and it’s easier to make me the villain but it’s still hurtful. It also feels like it’s verging on gas lighting? It was like dealing with a child having a tantrum when I reinforced boundaries and he didn’t like it.

The only analogy I can think of and I sincerely apologise if this isn’t right or causes any offence (not my intention) is that it’s like listening to somebody who is addicted/dependent who won’t take accountability for their actions - he’s just blaming anything or anyone else. Though I appreciate while he’s ill and in the middle of this mania he won’t recognise what he is doing or be able to be accountable for his behaviour.

He also vaguely threatened me that it ‘will get difficult’ as he can just come home whenever he wants. He is so unrecognisable from who he is ordinarily it’s scary. And I’m also genuinely concerned he might just show up now (I’ve double locked everything so he shouldn’t be able to get in/make sure we’re safe) and do something stupid as he’s so unpredictable.

I just hope the mania breaks soon so he can engage with the relevant professionals to get the right things in place for recovery short and long term. Sorry for being a revolving door of doom and gloom.