Feeling lost in your 20’s

[abadtroll]

Congratulations on finishing your degree!
I can relate although I'm 30 next month.
I haven't used my degree, I work a job where it's not needed and then panic that I've wasted time and money.
I have an older child I had as a teen and feel SO out of place. Everyone's having babies or just settling down.
I think in a year or two I'll do a postgraduate and get into a proper career, spending time with my child is the most important thing right now. So my only advice would be find a job that allows you to spend proper time with them. It's crazy to look back and realise how fast time goes by.

 

[On A Roll]

I feel the same! I’m 24 and I’ve been working full time since I left sixth form, didn’t go to Uni. I’ve been able to progress in my career quite fast so I seem ‘ahead’ of people job wise because of my position, but I’ve always found it so hard not having the same free time as my friends who were at Uni. They wanted to go out and stay late whereas I needed to go to bed because of work so strange. Now that my friends are graduated and getting full time jobs I feel a bit more settled.

I think it’s just such a weird feeling because in school, everyone goes through life and the same things at the same time, but after school it’s such a change in routine and it can go so many ways. So hard not to compare myself to others - I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed Uni but I can’t help but think what my life would’ve been like if I did go.

I also found myself always thinking about the future and recently I’ve been trying to appreciate the present - I live in my favourite city, I have a dog (my favourite ever animal), I have a healthy stable relationship. Might not have savings or my own house or £££ or a million friends but I have a lot to be thankful for

 

[Tommyb]

I can relate completely. My best advice is don't be so focused on getting to a certain place/having a certain thing that you forget to enjoy the process of getting it.

For example I was so focused on getting a house for the past 3 years with my relationship of 8 years i feel I didn't enjoy having a place to myself before we moved in. Not that I don't love living with my partner but having my own space was a luxury.

Honestly this is your time to be selfish. It's important to be selfish right now so if/when you do get to the responsible parts of life of relationships/houses/kids you are ready for them and won't look back and regret.

Right now if your focus is on a job..it doesn't have to be related to your degree at all. But look into what you want to do and start there.i will say the best thing I ever did was save,save,save. My friends would laugh at me for not going out as much as them and putting 2/3 of my money away between ages 18-28. But once I bought my house this year the laughter stopped. They can't understand how I saved over £100k myself. I love my house. It's in a quiet area with a lovely garden. My friends live in small places and have so much debt they are constantly worried. It's not the life I ever wanted and they didn't have to have.

Sorry for the ramble but hopefully it helps!

 

[btw]

Having a degree doesn’t automatically equal having a job with a good or high salary, it just doesn’t work that way. For the most part, unless your degree is in something very specific, it isn’t going to open that many doors unless you have work experience to back if up and that means getting stuck in and going through the gauntlet of entry level jobs to start with.

try not to focus on that too much. Life is about so much more than money and jobs and getting paid the most. Your life should be built on your own personal happiness and fulfilment outside of work and you should work to live, not live to work.

This is true! I suppose an element of the way I’m feeling is throughout school, your encouraged to go to uni to get good jobs and like you said unless you do a career based degree, you don’t always walk into a great job. So I suppose despite being proud of getting my degree (and I know it will hopefully benefit me at some point) it’s a little disheartening knowing I will be looking at salaries I could of earned without the three years of hard work and sacrifice! I’m sure it will all work out but it’s nice to know most people in their 20’s feel a little lost and out their depth

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Hello! I'm in my late 20s and I can wholeheartedly say it's been absolutely chaotic and not what I 'expected'. I've felt very unsettled for most of it.
I completely agree with what you're saying. It's hard to maintain friendships or find new ones, and suddenly everyone is going at a different pace.

Maybe I was unlucky but I would say that you might have to prepare for shit pay to start with even if you've got a good degree. It's good to get a feel for different working environments and see what you do and don't like. You might progress quickly and not be on low pay for too long.

I'd personally say don't worry about societal norms and the pressure of buying a house soon/finding your 'dream' job straight away and relationship.
I don't know your background of course but if you've just finished uni I say you deserve a bit of fun outside of the education system and please don't stress about the small stuff!

Having a degree doesn’t automatically equal having a job with a good or high salary, it just doesn’t work that way. For the most part, unless your degree is in something very specific, it isn’t going to open that many doors unless you have work experience to back if up and that means getting stuck in and going through the gauntlet of entry level jobs to start with.

try not to focus on that too much. Life is about so much more than money and jobs and getting paid the most. Your life should be built on your own personal happiness and fulfilment outside of work and you should work to live, not live to work.