Fake friends

[lipsticktaser]

I just stop engaging. I’ve done it recently with two.
felt like the friendship was one sided. It’s funny how little you get back when you stop putting the effort in with some people.
I’d simply stop messaging her. If she messages with a whiny ‘aren’t you talking to me’, I would respond with a ‘sorry been busy’.
She’ll probably sadfish initially, but if correspondence is curt she’ll soon piss off.
I just got sick of how these friendships made me feel. And you know what, I don’t miss them.

 

[Oohthedrama]

One piece of advice.

leave Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and your social media “status” out of a friendship.

respect someone enough to say it to their face and with your chest.
if someone tried to have a “conversation“ with me through a social media update I wouldn’t be arsed replying or acknowledging it.

adults should act like adults no matter the situation.

just my view.

 

[elloelloello]

Bit late to the party here but well done for mentioning something to her. I have no friends literally. After I had my child a few years ago me and my best friends of over ten years fell out. My mental health was shocking after having a baby, I literally felt like I had nothing and no one and I just stopped speaking to them because the constant ignoring me, not asking how I am, not making an effort with my baby, I was just so done with them. I cried every day for about a year after i cut them out, but now in hinds sight a couple of years later, I am the happiest I've ever been. Sure I would love some girlfriends, but I have a beautiful child, a partner who loves me and is a great dad, I'm closer than ever with my own parents and I'm content with life. They are still doing the same shit they were 5, 10 years ago, I'm better off ! Even though it still makes me sad.

 

[Downtoearth]

That is very sad. But as a person with no children and not planning on having any I can tell you that people with kids are not interested in childless friends. I get it though, they want people with other kids to keep the children entertained.
I would love just one good friend though and not just fair weather friends. I find people don’t want to make an effort anymore. I guess with the rise of social media and netflix most people are happy by themselves

I think that's a little misjudged. I've lost touch with several childless friends since I had kids - nothing to do with wanting other kids around to entertain mine. In my experience non-parents don't get "it" ; mine would still invite me on holidays, weekends, nights out, shopping trips, would cancel plans last minute etc...life isn't like that when you're a mum, not for me anyway. I do have some wonderful child free mates still but they tend to have a lot of kids around them to give more of an insight. Just my take

 

[Practically Perfect]

Realise that she is an aquaintance and not a friend.

I had a 'good' friend but it would bug me that whenever we spoke it was always 'me. me. me . me" and always complaining about her other half. When things were good with them i hardly heard from her.

Anyway, my mum was dying and she was nowhere to be seen, no calls, texts etc. A few weeks later i got a call, this is exactly how it went:

Her: OMG you will not believe what the Fwit has done.
Me: My mum died
Her. OH. Well that bastard.....
Me: Hung up.

She was never my friend. I was an ear to listen to her crap when she needed. My friends were the people by my mums grave holding me up. There were very few of them but they were my REAL friends.

 

[becca N]

sounds just like an ex-friend I had I ended up messaging saying I have enough everyday stress I don't need your shite on top of that but it's amazing you remember me when I message you but couldn't be arsed to message me good luck while going through IVF when I need support don't contact me again because your not worthy of my time unless it was about you then you don't care harsh but true

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Okay, yeah maybe I was wrong doing it through face book but she wouldnt listen otherwise. Anything you say to her goes in one ear and out that other, shes read this though, knew it was about her and shes obviously taken it in because shes not said anything back.
Ive since deleted the post, so its not up for everyone to see anymore.

Awww bless, it wasn't necessarily digging it at you. We all do things in the heat of the moment. Now she knows how you feel just ignore her.

I've had a lot of issues with girls and thats why I prefer the company of men. Women can be so catty and unreliable.

 

[helloisitmeyourlookingfor]

I agree - limit engagement. You are best off without her!

 

[Orange Creme]

I finally said something today, I feel shitty about it but also so good!

It's natural to feel guilty when you start setting boundaries! What did say?

 

[Horatio]

Ah I emphasise with your struggle. Sometimes I’ve wished it was socially acceptable to break up with a friend as with a partner. It’s just as conceivable you can grow apart from a friend, notice that you just don’t like them as much as you used to. But if they don’t feel the same, what do you do? It’s tough.
Your so-called friend sounds like they are very insecure, worried your relationship with the other friend is stronger than theirs so conspire to squeeze you out and put you down. And i can see this kind of person being jealous of your health problems like you say, ludicrous as that sounds, because they are desperate for attention.
The fact that they get on your case if you don’t speak to them for a few days shows to me they know they are treating you wrongly and don’t want to be held to account for such bad behaviour so it’s important they confirm you aren’t annoyed with them - as you would be well within your rights to be. But I think they likely feel a bit bad too - and don’t want the guilt.

What about the mutual friend though? I’m always suspicious of someone who claims to be powerless and refuse to rock the boat however badly you are being treated. And you say the annoying friend invited themselves on holiday with the mutual friend? I’m sorry I don’t believe that at all. I’m sure you can always prevent someone coming along if you truely don’t want them there. Sounds like the mutual friend might be playing you both a bit to keep in your good books..

But I don’t want presume too much of your life. I agree you need to say something short and simple to annoying friend - don’t give them lots of material to respond to but maybe say “I think we’d both benefit if we take a bit of a friendship break. No hard feelings whatsoever- but I think it’s best for now.”

Bear in mind annoying friend will probably run straight to the mutual one....

Good luck !

 

[Orange Creme]

Just stop engaging with her. They soon get the message.

I wish I had some decent friends. Since moving to the UK I have found it hard as people where I live are just not interested and we don't have kids. The few people I have befriended also don't really make an effort. Would just love somebody to hang out with and go on girly holidays with

I've moved to a different area and find everyone already has their set friends and family nearby. Not many people seem to want to welcome someone new although I have made one friend.

 

[GiggleBee]

I try to limit my engagement as much as possible but its hard and shes relentless. I need to be stronger though.

 

[F the dust.]

It seem to be worse the older i get? Or maybe just more obvious?! I had a " friend" who was anything but...I was nothing but kind to her, Yet she did nothing but dig at me try to cause trouble and encroach my other friendships! We don't speak now, I just wish I hadn't allowed myself to treat the way I was.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Just stop engaging with her. They soon get the message.

I wish I had some decent friends. Since moving to the UK I have found it hard as people where I live are just not interested and we don't have kids. The few people I have befriended also don't really make an effort. Would just love somebody to hang out with and go on girly holidays with

 

[GiggleBee]

I finally said something today, I feel shitty about it but also so good!

 

[Luce0331]

I used to have a friend who reaaaallly loved herself, she thought she was the most gorgeous woman on this earth and that every boy wanted her. I know it’s good to have self confidence but it was way past the point of arrogance. We’d be in a bar in a group of about eight girls and these men were glancing in our direction and she’d say ‘oh my god those men are looking at me! ’ .. like there are eight of us, how do you know they’re looking directly at you?!
She used to piss me off so much that I eventually just stopped speaking to her - do I sound complete ridiculous? Like is this an actual reason to stop being friends with someone or am I an idiot lol

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I agree about saying it to somebody directly before announcing it on social media. I hate passive agressive people. When people make these little comments and digs I straight up ask them if there is an issue and then they are normally so shocked because I am not confrontational by nature.

A lot of times if you tell somebody they would not even have been aware of the problem, this also means that they have an opportunity to change or say fuck it and then you can ditch them for good

 

[Oohthedrama]

I agree about saying it to somebody directly before announcing it on social media. I hate passive agressive people. When people make these little comments and digs I straight up ask them if there is an issue and then they are normally so shocked because I am not confrontational by nature.

A lot of times if you tell somebody they would not even have been aware of the problem, this also means that they have an opportunity to change or say fuck it and then you can ditch them for good

you automatically lose my respect when you start indirectly commenting or indirectly bitching.
pits what I hate able social media.

i’d wave you off and shut the door.

 

[gene210]

It's never great having any fake. It makes you feel like rubbish. Fake handbags, watches, clothing and this goes for friends too. It's better to have one good authentic handbag than several fakes.

 

[Orange Creme]

Its trickier that you have mutual friends, will she get them involved? I would say because you have mutual friends then I agree with above. Google 'the grey rock method' and keep your replies as short and dull as possible.

If she starts getting to you come back to us for support as if she's particularly good at manipulating you may end up feeling guilty (even though you shouldnt).

If you're not bothered about mutual friends and wouldn't bump into her often then I would be brutal and block her completely once and for all before you go stir crazy.

sounds just like an ex-friend I had I ended up messaging saying I have enough everyday stress I don't need your shite on top of that but it's amazing you remember me when I message you but couldn't be arsed to message me good luck while going through IVF when I need support don't contact me again because your not worthy of my time unless it was about you then you don't care harsh but true

You have great boundaries