I just keep seeing her pop up and I cannot and won’t ever understand it. I know it’s not my place to judge somebody’s grief journey but as a Mum to an almost 3 year old and a 4 month old my heart literally hurts, like I can feel an actual stabbing pain in my gut and chest if I think of either of them dying. I just cannot imagine being able to post selfies, video me cleaning, sharing pictures of meals out. I genuinely think I’d crawl into bed and you wouldn’t see me for dust (also not healthy I know) but I just cannot and will never understand one, how they are still together, two, how they are still living in that house, three, if they were staying together why didn’t they pack up and buy somewhere else, somewhere private, stay off the internet/influencing, just post privately on private accounts maybe for their friends and family. Surely they’ve got enough money to live a comfortable life. I’d have to leave that house asap, every room, wall, door would remind me that he should be running around, playing with his toys etc. I don’t want to judge but I can’t help judging. Especially if anything happened to my kids on my watch due to negligence. I just dont know if she genuinely is in denial and will live the rest of her life with her head in the sand or whether she’s headed for a massive breakdown at some point when it all comes to a head that he’s actually never coming back, her first born, her baby boy. It breaks my heart and he wasn’t even mine