Do I want it? No. Do I need it? No. Save it! #2

[Chocolategoggler]

You've all somehow jogged a memory in me from decades ago!
I was thinner than Posh Spice and paranoid about my bum because people were always talking about it.
I cleared my wardrobe of clothes I'd grown out of, but unfortunately no replacements arrived as mum could no longer afford it. So I got myself a part time job and made careful choices - e.g. an amazing designer style jacket from the catalogue, an amazing pair of jeans from Top Shop and lots of accessories mostly from Top Shop including the famous scarf! .
Trouble was I felt so poor from the lack of clothing and used to look at the cool, gorgeous girls at the Youth Club/discos longing for what they had - looks and lots of clothes and no spots!
But now looking back I remember the girls queuing up to babysit my scarf/jacket/hat at the disco/youth club.
The boyfriend who I now realise was the boy everyone wanted to go out with
The budding striking looks, plus the amazing a that I couldn't see behind me
And the fan girls I didn't realise wanted to be me!
All this with sod all clothing. Years later with loads of clothes and nothing to wear I suddenly realise that "less is more". Maybe I can't get the face and figure and amazing a back, but I'm sure the "less is more" mantra and "clothes with personality" can be achieved still if I could do it before with little money.
Thanks guys - I think you've inadvertently given me an Epiphany!

 

[Silverback]

My friends I have completely and utterly fallen off the wagon. Looked at too many Instagram pretty house accounts and ended up buying loads of improvements for the house including new drawer handles, new gold door knocker, etc etc etc. plus I went shopping in London yesterday and spent £100. I’m hyperventilating now over how much cash I’ve got to last 2 weeks til payday.

Been speaking to my therapist today over why I agonise over not having the perfect house and appearance, and realised that I associate achieving those things with gaining respect and love from my mother. Do I want my mother’s respect? No. She is an awful abusive woman. But I’ve been programmed that way and I need to deprogram myself somehow.

I feel horribly guilty for overspending and horribly anxious.

 

[rainbowlemon]

If you don’t really need the items, could you return something?

Deprogramming yourself comes with time and better understanding of yourself but it’s not impossible.

——

 

[rainbowlemon]

Also something uncomfortable, but I started asking for money back from people, instead of waiting to be paid by them or until I forgot.

I bought someone a ticket a month ago. I realised he hadn’t paid me back, yet only after checking my statement.

I also lent someone £10. This person got annoyed at me asking, because “I already had money stashed everywhere”.

 

[Curiouscupcake]

Do I want it? No. Do I need it? No. Save it! #3

Welcome to our third thread! This thread has been merged with the low/no spend thread so there’s a huge community of us now. The premise is to be mindful and intentional with our spending, particularly discretionary spending!

tattle.life

New thread

 

[Captainmouse]

Also something uncomfortable, but I started asking for money back from people, instead of waiting to be paid by them or until I forgot.

I bought someone a ticket a month ago. I realised he hadn’t paid me back, yet only after checking my statement.

I also lent someone £10. This person got annoyed at me asking, because “I already had money stashed everywhere”.

Tell them that’s the reason you were able to lend it too them in the first place