Direct cremation - Thoughts?

[laughing]

I want this when I die. I have been to so many funerals and hate the idea of people coming together to be sad about me going. I’d rather they take some time to go to places we loved or visited together (if they wanted to) and remembered me how they saw fit.

I also quite like the idea of separating my ashes so my different groups of loved ones can sprinkle me somewhere.

Oh I like the idea of separate groups doing various things with ashes. Each group would relate to the relationship you had with them.

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

I can see how this could be hard to come to terms with, as funeral "services" are part of our culture we've been brought up with. However the wishes of the deceased does need to be respected and difficult as it is, you have to come to terms with it.

Could an alternative be to do something among the family, having a meal or a walk in their favourite place to remember them?

 

[Gossgirl12]

It is hard. All I keep thinking about is when they pass, the next time I actually have them around me is when they are in an urn. I hate even having to think about them passing away because I know like everyone does, I'm going to find it extremely difficult to come to terms with but now it's all I can think about after this conversation yesterday. I would really like to respect their wishes though so more than likely, this is what will happen regardless of my feelings about it. My parents explained that we could always have a little memorial after as a family, but without the cost of everything that comes with a funeral.

 

[Fauxphiehinchcliffe]

I can see my own mother wanting to do something like that if she knew it was an option. I would struggle with it but would respect it as their wish…saying goodbye doesn’t have to be as part of a formal funeral type service. You can say goodbye personally however you feel comfortable.

Could you talk about your feelings with them and your siblings and maybe agree that if that time comes you could get together as a small
Group when the ashes are returned to scatter or bury them?


Instead of a formal funeral service at a crematorium
Could you have a celebration of life (like a wake I guess) at a local pub with food and sharing memories ?

 

[Kim Mild]

Cremations are the appropriate way to dispose of a body , often there is a bit ceremony but surely all this can be independent to the physical Cremation. Some people believe that the body is an empty vessel once life had ended and aren't sentimental about their body. Some people are atheists.

I think it's a good idea for lots of reasons, cost is one . Not wanting anything formal .

 

[chickhicks86]

I didn't know this was a thing either! I think it's a sign of the times as much as anything, so many traditions falling by the wayside.

 

[laughing]

This is becoming more popular, I only heard about it about six months ago.

The family, at the wishes of the dead man, did this. His remains were taken straight from the hospital and the ashes returned to them about three days later. They then held a 'party for life' about a month after.

My husband has decided he would like this. I think I would still like a traditional church burial for me.

It's a good option for those who are not church worshippers.

The cost is also very good .

 

[candyland_]

Could you compromise?
I was at a funeral last week and it was very simple. Their coffin was already there when everyone arrived, there was no religious service but instead there was a little ‘look back at their life’ sort of chat from the woman leading the service. It made us smile, laugh and cry but it was a lovely service overall and didn’t feel too little or too much.

 

[Gossgirl12]

Hi all,

I'm just looking for some thoughts and opinions on this subject. I'm sorry that this is such a morbid subject. I didn't even know direct cremation was a thing until yesterday. Myself and my family went to a neighbours funeral yesterday, afterwards a conversation came up between my parents and another neighbour who told them she wouldn't be having a funeral and was having a direct cremation meaning when she passes, her body will be taken away, cremated and then brought back to the family without any funeral service. My parents have now both stated that they don't want a fuss and have expressed that this would also be their wish. It made me really upset as I don't feel myself and my other family members would get the chance to say goodbye, it's too final in my mind and I can't imagine having to go through that process but also understand they would want their wishes respected. How would others feel about this please? It's played on my mind all night.

 

[Gossgirl12]

Thank you for all of your comments.
Whilst I don't necessarily like the idea, I can see why people would prefer this way and of course I will be respecting my parents wishes.