Dating after lockdown #8 Tinder, completed it!

[Captainmouse]

 

[HelloStereo]

Just left the guy's house now after going on the date on Saturday night . Only going home for a wash and then going to the pub with him later for the England game

 

[hereforthememe]

From my perspective, you used your friend's boyfriend for validation of your looks/why dating isn't working etc. It's proper shady behaviour and I'd be fuming if I were your mate with you, not my boyfriend

Keep in my mind though obviously I don't have full context so take what I say with a pinch of salt

 

[hereforthememe]

I went round to a lads house once and he had a single bed - gave me instant ick

 

[freaknasty]

Taken a break from dating but still been reading the thread, however I had a horrible experience with a man last night in a club where he told me if I lost 10kg I would be perfect!

 

[Wowitsme]

Oh wow

Yeah I’m quite cringed at how desperate and he says jump and poster says how high

I think that fact he ignored you after your pic and then called and your jumping to see him and the coke. The most you are is a fuck

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

Took my pup on an evening walk and all I saw were couples. Really made me feel shit and more alone 🥲

 

[Clickbait]

Sorry all panic over... she's not on my flight and thankfully is staying far far away... in fact is boasting about how luxe her upcoming holiday will be...you'd have to pay me to stay there! I know that makes me sound like a spoiled bitch but I didn't go to uni for 6 years to have cheap holidays and I'm amused as to just how much of a downgrade he has undertaken here! He'll already have at least one new 'love' lined up for while she's away so I can take comfort in that too....

I have to say I think you’re being a little unfair on this girl - I would say that you could slate her all the live long day if she knew that your ex had a gf, but you’ve already stated she didn’t.

She’s just fallen for him like you did, but isn’t even in the fortunate position you are to realise she’s picked a dud who is a cheating arsehole. Cut her some slack -it’s likely she’s going to find out the hard way like you did.

Other than that enjoy your holiday!

 

[NoseyNiamh]

There was a suggestion that Bunny may be stretching the truth, she got very cross and hasn’t reappeared.

There was also a suggestion that she may be one of a couple of people (Thunderfook/Professor Farnsworth/Mulholland Drive) who have previously stretched the truth here and on other threads historically.

Hopefully we can move on now!

Niamh, how are you feeling today after managing to ignore your ex yesterday? Stay strong

I'm feeling great this morning.
I know I shouldn't think like this , but in a way I'm glad he messaged, at least I wasn't totally forgotten about. But...I haven't given in this time
I imagine he is fuming now because he is not use to me ignoring him. The new girl is going to see his real side now as a result of this, I hope she doesn't stick around like I did !

 

[BekkaBoo]

I've gone through such a dry patch it's not funny! In fairness we've been in some form of lockdown since Christmas so no chance of meeting people IRL and it was just the dregs on the apps. Thank Christ the end is in sight, I'm gonna have a very slaggy Christmas this year! A literal ho ho ho!!

 

[misscl4]

Sorry to change the topic, but old Tinder keeps making me laugh… he’s literally drawn over the ex to add this Ahhh yes warm water that hasn’t come out of a UK tap that old phrase

 

[BekkaBoo]

I think if I knew him better I might Try to open up more but I’ve only met him Once so it’s hard for me..usually I’m able to get somewhere because they might find me physically attractive and not see my detachment but I think he’s too much of a gent to say anything like some of the other men I have dated unless he possibly wasn’t that attracted to me anyway, who knows

You were able to chat to him and open up to him about your loss on the first date though? Now you can barely string a sentence together so how can you possibly get to know him better if you don't even make an effort? I'm not trying to be mean here and I know you're going through a tough time but I do think you're being a bit unfair to him.

 

[JodieB12]

I hate it when men start talking about sex straight away! Least give it a bit longer. One guy was like oh I’m 6ft 5 all cock and to be fair he was but didn’t know how to use it. Waste

 

[Marj24]

I'm so grateful not to be on the dating seen, I was widowed at the early age of 47. Widowship gives you a sad but unique advantage, you've not been rejected is the main one. Indeed TWO people soon after my husband of 26 years died told me I was I was LUCKY not to have been replaced by another, forgetting that not only I was grieving, so was my still in his teens son.

I can still remember the pain of dating, and can still remember the downsides of a long term relationship (for me). I am post menopausal. I am happy to be on my own rather than in bad company.

I appreciate I am coming from my own perspective. I wish you all looking for a prince amongst the frogs the very best of luck xx

 

[hereforthememe]

Here's a couple of the messages


Thank you, it just came across that way to me

I feel like you set him for this a little bit. If my friend went to my boyfriend like this and he said you were pretty or whatever, I wouldn't be upset - what I would be upset with is the fact my friend decided to reach out to my boyfriend with the insecurities rather than me... Really, what was he supposed to say when you say things like that

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I'm sure we are all intelligent women with a life to lead yet here we are analysing WhatsApp ticks.
The dating world has done a right number on us!

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Thank you so much for your reply, makes a lot of sense. It was so nice to feel desired and I guess I had my rose tinted glasses on for a while.
Now I do feel kind of used by him and it makes me feel a bit cheap. How all of a sudden he needed to respect the gf. I honestly didn't feel great about the fact he was with someone but thought that he would finish it with her as he had be convinced I was the girl for him.
My husband has worn me down and I used to think I would just be on my own. I know realise I am desirable and I want to be in a loving, sexual relationship
I'm bound to bump into this guy at some point, when he has had a drink he is all over me with compliments. How do you think I should react?

You are letting yourself think you were used though. Did you enjoy it? Did you get something from it?
It was a bit of sexting and virtual sex. You both had fun.
You got an an ego boost and you also found out really early on that the guy is a dick. Draw a line under it.
Focus on yourself and your divorce. Plenty of time for disastrous dating (and some really nice dating) once you are in a better place and less vulnerable

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I think this is accurate too..

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Do you not think most men start off as perfect? It takes about three months for it to wear off and then see who they really are.

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Right, my date is back on for tomorrow. His covid test was negative and he thinks it was a throat infection. Can’t wait. I’ll report back on Monday. This one seems great, sane, solvent, own house, dog. Likes a drink but not a fuck up. Pots of cash and semi-retired in his 50s.