Cutting friends off

[GiggleBee]

Ive finally cut off a toxic friend. Its been years of lies and deceit. Im one of these people who will take and take the shit and then I snap and just cut all contact with not even a goodbye.

My question is Im also quite a weak person so how do I make sure I keep her out of my life?

 

[Yorkshirewife]

Ive finally cut off a toxic friend. Its been years of lies and deceit. Im one of these people who will take and take the shit and then I snap and just cut all contact with not even a goodbye.

My question is Im also quite a weak person so how do I make sure I keep her out of my life?

Block block block

 

[Apple In My Pie]

I need to do this but I'm really worried as she's my only friend and we're very intertwined Good on you x

 

[PinkJen099]

I done this afew year ago! Best thing I have ever ever done!
I blocked her on everything! Phone number the lot.

 

[GiggleBee]

What sort of stuff did she do? Might help on how to completely get rid of her if you don’t mind sharing a bit more x

We have a mutal friends and she would twist things I said to the other friend ect. Say she was popping round, keep me waiting in all day and not turn up. It was lots of little things but its the lying to our mutual friend what has done it tonight. Im just fed up with the schoolgirl games. My mental health isnt great and she really wasn't helping.

Just tell her either your too busy etc repeatedly and people get the message from this or that you think the friendship has run its course and that your both very different people now and that you wish her all the best for the future. Then block her. If she tries to get in touch then ignore her, eventually she will go away.

Its hard as we have mutual friends. I have blocked/deleted her from all social media though

I need to do this but I'm really worried as she's my only friend and we're very intertwined Good on you x

Its a scary move and its honestly something ive been putting off doing for over a year but its finally done. Just terrified ill be pulled back in.

I hope you manage to cut the ties. You will feel a huge sense of relief when so.

 

[Raininvain]

Just see your other friends by themselves and say you dont want to hear about what x has said done etc. Or take a step back from them all. You can make new friends when all this covid stuff is over.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I cut off multiple people last year. It’s easy to ignore them once you decide to do it, block and remove them from everything.

 

[Plasticbox]

I have to say that I have been that friend who was cut off, wasn’t a toxic friend or anything. Just one day out the blue she blocked me and it’s now been 4 years. I would say that as much as you want to just block them it would probably be that bit kinder to send a message first explaining why you are bringing the friendship to an end so at least that other person doesn’t constantly wonder what they did.

 

[Pinkblush]

In moments of weakness remind yourself why you cut her off in the first place.

 

[Raininvain]

Ive finally cut off a toxic friend. Its been years of lies and deceit. Im one of these people who will take and take the shit and then I snap and just cut all contact with not even a goodbye.

My question is Im also quite a weak person so how do I make sure I keep her out of my life?

Just tell her either your too busy etc repeatedly and people get the message from this or that you think the friendship has run its course and that your both very different people now and that you wish her all the best for the future. Then block her. If she tries to get in touch then ignore her, eventually she will go away.

 

[JakeM]

Block her on EVERYTHING! If you start feeling guilty then just remind yourself why she’s so toxic. You’re a strong person for making the decision to cut her out of your life. Good for you.

 

[Blonde123]

We have a mutal friends and she would twist things I said to the other friend ect. Say she was popping round, keep me waiting in all day and not turn up. It was lots of little things but its the lying to our mutual friend what has done it tonight. Im just fed up with the schoolgirl games. My mental health isnt great and she really wasn't helping.



Its hard as we have mutual friends. I have blocked/deleted her from all social media though



Its a scary move and its honestly something ive been putting off doing for over a year but its finally done. Just terrified ill be pulled back in.

I hope you manage to cut the ties. You will feel a huge sense of relief when so.

Well done for taking control. Don’t give her the satisfaction of telling her you’re unfriending her (as tempting as it may be) as she will probably twist it. In my opinion your best bet is to just keep making excuses to bail on her until she gets the message. Stay strong and good luck x

 

[doawheelie]

I need to do this but I'm really worried as she's my only friend and we're very intertwined Good on you x

You’ll make new friends put yourself out there as much as you can! Don’t reply to her! If worst comes to worst pinch yourself every time you think of her , you will soon associate her with pain

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

The piece of advice I can offer is don't let her know why you are cutting her out as it will just make things worse. I cut a friend off in my last year of uni and felt bad about it so wrote a letter to her, which I had a mutual friend read first. After the mutal friend read it she was like under no circumstances send the letter, she said she would've been very upset if somebody gave her a letter like that.
The thing is everybody thinks they want to know but when you really tell them they get more upset/angry/petty/toxic - insert any word that would work for her.
I refused to discuss it with the rest of our friendship group and just told them that if I was going to discuss the issue with anybody it would be with the friend I cut off. I never bad mouthed her as it would've only made me look bad.
I also didn't tell my friends if they invited me somewhere that they couldn't invite her. When we were together in a social situation I was polite but mainly ignored her.

 

[Clickbait]

Seconding what @Plasticbox said, particularly if you share mutual friends. I completely understand that you’ve had enough but honestly just saying “I really don’t think I can remain in touch with you certainly at the moment because I don’t think it feels like a friendship anymore.”

That way she knows why, and she won’t try and involve your friends for answers or to pick sides.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

It will be one of the hardest things you will ever do but also one of the best things for you mentally. I had to cut a very toxic best friend out of my life a few years ago and there are still days I miss her at times but then I remind myself how she was never there for me, it always had to be her way or she would huff and moan, she remained friends with my manipulative, abusive ex and he knew what he was doing by coming between us but really if she was a true friend she wouldn't have let him come between us... I doubt we will ever be friends again, I have her blocked everywhere.

 

[Imward3]

I cut a toxic friend off around 10 years ago and found blocking and deleting phone numbers was the only way I could stick with it. I do think it helps that I don’t have social media.
Very happy with my decision though.

 

[ClockworkDolly]

Ive finally cut off a toxic friend. Its been years of lies and deceit. Im one of these people who will take and take the shit and then I snap and just cut all contact with not even a goodbye.

My question is Im also quite a weak person so how do I make sure I keep her out of my life?

Don’t cave in. She will think you are a soft touch and continue to treat you like shit.

Like others have said, block her from your phone and social media. She will soon get the message and move on.

Tell your mutual friend that you don’t want to hear about her either.

 

[GiggleBee]

It will be one of the hardest things you will ever do but also one of the best things for you mentally. I had to cut a very toxic best friend out of my life a few years ago and there are still days I miss her at times but then I remind myself how she was never there for me, it always had to be her way or she would huff and moan, she remained friends with my manipulative, abusive ex and he knew what he was doing by coming between us but really if she was a true friend she wouldn't have let him come between us... I doubt we will ever be friends again, I have her blocked everywhere.

Im so sorry youve had to go through that.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Once you’ve done it you start to see more clearly and there’s no way you would go back.