Confessions - Get it off your chest!

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Meg78

Really surprised I couldn’t find a thread for this!

I have a confession to make and am so ashamed I daren’t tell anyone in real life: we hid half of our child’s birthday gifts from friends and family and are holding them back for Christmas, but will say it’s all from Santa Everyone got a thank you note, but our house is already bursting at the seams, I just couldn’t justify having all that come in and then add on Christmas toys too, and thought this way it saves us some space and some cash too, but I feel really icky about it and needed to confess!

Anyone else have something they need to get off their chest?
 
Reactions: 23

RaveChampion

I called off going to two social gatherings this week. First on Thursday and one this evening (more formal thus more stressful).

I made my excuses on Tuesday by saying I'd tested positive for Covid that morning and didn't want to spread it around.
I've used the time I've gained wisely.
Playing Cyberpunk 2077 and browsing Tattle.
 
Reactions: 17

rainbowlemon

I don't see the problem with this. You are just spacing them out and it means you don't have to buy extra presents. The items will still be used and loved.
 
Reactions: 15
E

ElChanguito

I have to confess that there are a couple of people who live in my community who are really quite a nuisance (spend their whole lives gossiping about others, tearing people apart and putting them against each other, that kind of thing), and sometimes I think i wish they weren’t here and how much nicer life would be if they weren’t. I feel terrible for feeling that way but there you go.
 
Reactions: 6

rainbowlemon

My deep dark secret: I used to keep tinsel up all year around.
Meg78 said:
That’s how I’m justifying it to myself, but I feel quite guilty for taking credit when I didn’t purchase them
Click to expand...
If you still feel guilt- you could rearrange things. Keep small simple gifts from Santa but say X person sent this for you.

Gifts from Santa could include an orange, chocolate, Jelly beans. Crayola crayons/ pencils.

There's one influencer who makes a list for relatives who want to give a gift for her kids. It stops her home becoming cluttered, but that goes back to boundaries and telling people when it's becoming too much.
 
Reactions: 6

littlepup

In our house, family buy presents and send them to Santa then he delivers them, along with some presents that are just from him himself.
That way the gift giver gets credit but it doesn't ruin the magic. (Of course sometimes people miss the last post to Santa and have to bring the gifts after Christmas). Perhaps you could do something along those lines?
Mine's bday is a month after Christmas so I feel your pain.
 
Reactions: 2

EffingDust

I’ve lied to get out of nearly every Christening I’ve ever been invited to in the last 20 years.

I always “have to work” or have a social event involving people who don’t know the christening family.

Feel bad lying and I always send money, but literally cannot be fucked with christenings. They’re boring, the buffet is always rubbish, no alcohol and there’s something about a child being foisted into a religion they have no say in that makes me feel a bit weird. But that might be a me problem since I hated being forced to church as a kid.
 
Reactions: 18
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pinkmug

My birthday is coming up and I'm dreading any kind of good wishes and phone calls and even dinner with family. It doesn't make me feel good, I don't know why, and I just want to be left alone. It'll hurt my parents' feelings so I still go along with it but I can't wait until this week is over and I can go back to minding my business.
 
Reactions: 9

malibu skies

Lighthearted: I opened Spotify and looked for a random playlist to stick on in the background. 5 songs in and I was amazed because I loved every song on the playlist. So I had a look and it’s one of my own playlists that I made. No wonder I liked all the songs

Not lighthearted: I don’t think I’m a nice person. I have horrible thoughts about people sometimes. And I don’t want to think that way but I can’t help it, that’s just where my mind goes. I do a decent job of hiding those thoughts and I don’t think anyone in real life would suspect that I’m such a horrid bitch
 
Reactions: 14
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pinkmug

I once read that the thing that makes someone a good person is not the absence of terrible thoughts but the sense and the conscience to never act on them. If you know that they are horrible thoughts and if you aren't causing anyone pain because of your thoughts and opinions, you're not a bad person. You're just human.
 
Reactions: 15

spangly

I've got one - it's a bit of a specific to me problem but it has made me do something a little bit sneaky!

I've got a problem with my partner drinking alcohol (it's an anxiety thing and a long back story) and for years he always said he was never bothered about drinking anyway, so it wasn't really an issue. Then probably in the last 6 or 7 years, I would smell alcohol on his breath when he was having his lad's night once a week. I asked him about it and he denied he was drinking. Anyway - long story short. It turns out he was drinking and then saving a bit for a saturday night too and he had been doing it behind my back for a long time. In the interest of fairness and the fact that I didn't want to control him, I accepted that he would drink on the lad's night and I would have to try and come to terms with my anxiety.
I've been trying to face my fears about it for 7 months now but it's just not getting any easier.

So, on the lad's night, I feel like I've just got to suck it up and he's also out of my sight, so it's a bit easier but on the Saturday night when he's got a bit left over for a nightcap, I've been pouring half of it away and topping it up with water! He adds a mixer to it anyway and he doesn't seem to notice that it's weaker but it just makes me feel a bit better!

I do feel guilty but he seems just as happy thinking he's having a good nightcap and I feel better knowing that he's not really going to get drunk!
 
Reactions: 2
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justonemorepage

If you are talking about intrusive thoughts I think everyone has them to a certain degree, it's just no one talks about them and obviously most people never act on it. You're definitely not a horrid bitch just for having these thoughts.
 
Reactions: 8

littlepup

The fact that you say that tells me you're not. We can't control invasive thoughts.
I think I'm a lovely person, I try to always be, I'm kind, known for befriending people and talking to absolutely anyone, loyal, defend people to others, compliment strangers, non judgmental etc.
But, sometimes I'm the biggest arsehole going. I'll think horribly judgmental things. I never have racist/ableist/homophobic/ negative about someone's job thought but things will pop into my head about weight, wealth, social status, looks etc. I fell awful after because I don't believe I really believe them, they just appear from nowhere. That's why I'm on tattle. It gives me an opportunity to say the judgmental, critical things in a safe space, sort of get it out.
I genuinely think, based on the things I do and don't judge, it comes from being raised in an environment where I heard these criticisms so they're part of my subconscious, even though I don't believe them,
 
Reactions: 7

Behelzabobs

I don’t think you are horrible
I’ve spent all day thinking “ If I hear about Sir Bobby Charlton once more ffs”
And he’s a national treasure
 
Reactions: 3
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nycinthesun

Since becoming a mum, I rarely have free time for myself which is why I only meet up with friends on special occasions (weddings, birthdays, someone is visiting town for the weekend) and decline all other plans to catch up on random days. I would rather spend that rare free solo time treating myself to a few hours of doing things I want to do, without having to accommodate everyone's schedules or waiting around for friends who are perpetually late, have different preferences of what to do, etc. I realise this makes me selfish and I don't mind that.
 
Reactions: 8

Reality_tv_lover

Definitely not selfish
 
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HeyBabes

I hate feeling like this because I feel like a huge bitch but I’m really struggling nowadays to be happy for other people. Multiple friends, including my best friend, have gotten engaged or married over the last year, and I’m struggling to be happy for them and most of the time I just feel overwhelming jealousy. I’m still waiting for MrBabes to propose and he has recently told me he has no plans to do so after 8 years together. It just makes me direct my anger at the wrong people now
 
Reactions: 15
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cuttle90

Comparison is the thief of joy.
I think you have to ask yourself whether you are genuinely happy in your relationship (I assume so after 8 years). You should have a conversation with him about how you feel re: marriage, if it's not something you've already discussed.

I was in a similar situation when trying for my second baby... it seemed everyone was pregnant or having babies and I got so focused on it. You almost have a grievance process for something that you want but is unlikely to happen.

Sending love, and I'm sure you are not a bitch!
 
Reactions: 5

rainbowlemon

This doesn't make you a bitch. You need to decide if you can stay in a situation like this going forward. What if it's 12 year years in and it's the same thing?
 
Reactions: 4
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