Cleaning with Mario #15 Take a seat and get some class!!

[Cagayu]

 

[Be More Pacific]

New thread for our Manbagzda.

Couldn't really see any suggestions that stood out and we desperately needed a new thread so I made an executive decision to immortalise the funniest thing that pure wee ned has ever said given his bespoke troll rant today live from his council flat decked out in finest Primarni (probably)

MA PAGE! MA RULES! MA CHAPTERS!

Last thread round up:

Mario now has 102 face mists, 57 lavender plug ins and HE LOVES HIS CAT.

So aye. Slander away ma lovelies.....

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

"Oooo Mario ya minge teasin bastid!"

 

[Jeaniepeanie]

The problem with Mario is he thinks he's a celebrity, he thinks he's on the same page as hinch and all the other big influencers. In reality he's a waster that's stayed with family until his mid 30s and led a very sheltered life then launched himself at the first man that had a flat that would take him. His bespoke one bed perfect palace isn't even the size of some of the big influencers master suites, he'll never be able to keep up or compete with them. His idea of a luxury holiday is a 3* b&b in Blackpool when they're all living it up in the Maldives on gifted holidays. Hinch has the Audi and the range, midget mario will no doubt be saving for a grey bespoke smart car to be chauffeured around in by his butler. All the beauty and skincare influencers get gifted or use actual luxury brands like clé de peau, la prairie , La Mer etc, mario has to buy 2 for a quid sheet masks and homophobic nivea. There's no gap in the market for his 'boujee lifestyle', everyone's been there and done that with the content he puts out. He thought that when the papers started doing wee columns on him that would be it, gleam would be on the phone looking to snap him up and propel him into stardom so he could get his boujee bought house. Nobody wants to touch him, he would be a PR nightmare the way he goes off on rants and makes sly digs in his stories not to mention how crude he comes across on a daily basis.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk on Marion, soz for the ramble lads

 

[twilightgarden]

These would go great with the padded mirrah

 

[Cherry_1]

A take no shit from NOBODY..... aye sit doon you and calm the ham. Firstly Marion you are a nasty little piece of work and us tattlers have saw through your BULL a long time ago, but I reckon since you’re venom about your lovely innocent cat and the fact you have reacted the way u have speaks vols. Every one who watches u have saw your true colours and you can try and pretend that you love your wee Rayn but I believe you don’t have a morsel of love in your heart. Pathetic narcissist that should be pulled down a peg or two. Secondly I don’t believe that ANYONE at any given time has thought your cooncil borrowers flat is a palace you are so far up your own arse I’m surprised you don’t come back out with a permanent tan away and take yer head for a shite and give your arse a break. IBS boujee bespoke midden

 

[Cagayu]

He’s hoovered under the rug!!

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Well that little outburst has justimyfied me having another laughter induced organism.

Derek - should you happen by here on your fiance's behalf consider this.

People who don't know your other half, who you think misinterpret him, will possibly include potential future employers.

Is it within the scope of possibility that there is a reason he is still on furlough and not back at work yet?

Is Mario banking his hopes and your disposable income on getting snapped up by an agent and having a Mrs Hinch wealth trajectory? He's got a large following and has had press attention, but it still just hasn't happened. Do you have a plan b?

And finally, without exception, everyone on here rather likes you. Why do you think that is?

Just saying this is what an alternative perspective looks like, but far easier just to write everyone off as a jealous hater eh?

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Ok so he's bought and read Caroline Hirons book has he aye? Well in that book there are 2 things she says are a waste of money ~ beauty fridges and sheet face masks.

But nae debates

 

[ayeayecaptain]

Today’s Agenda:

Show how much the cat loves me cos Tattle are right they know I am a bastard to her
Sook up Hinch’s arse cos Tattle knows she’s pissed off with me
Actually clean my kitchen work tops properly cos Tattle keep pointing out how clatty I am just wiping round everything

Anythiing else???

 

[Cherry_1]

Awww wee Derek’s face could light up a room ( a real room no a borrowers wan ) he has such bright eyes( when he’s no full eh the hashish) and just seems like a top genuine guy. What he sees in that pathetic cat abuser i do not know, maid Marion oozes zero appeal in every shape and form. Could u imagine him trying to instigate sexy time I am making an appeal to you deek coz I know u must read here ( just for bants, and I believe you may be likely to have a wee account for when the stone is real and you’re wanting a proper giggle ) come to your senses, cut doon on the ganga, get yer driving test did and find someone worthy of you’re adorable wee coupon, get your dream house that creepy baws husny built fae the grun up and there’s nae mention of any boujee IBS ‘flair’ ups, Get rid of the blood sucker, send him on his merry way and I dare u to fling all his tat oot the 3 up windy just to ensure wee scrotum features canny have any mare use of his utter shit. Deek please forgive me if I sound harsh but u must know yourself that little cockroach is way beneath ya. You could pull any wan, aw he could pull is a parcel fae the postie and that’s on a good day ( I believe said postie is still receiving intense therapy after bein subjected to Marion’s beef olive) so aye nae debates and so forth, ma life, all areas, ma chapters, ma ootbox, ma pages, ma jurnee, me, me, me #freederekandryannnnnnn

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Aaaaaand right on cue with the fucking leg bend head tilt selfie.

Strike a different pose why don't you. Poundland Zoolander.

 

[Be More Pacific]

Aw thought I was going to get my first thread title as it had the most likes oh well next time I’m sure Marion will give us plenty more content

The most liked was actually Coping With Mario but I made a bespoke decision and thought this one was much better

Where is this being posted?!

On @ourcozylittleplace's post about Rayn.

Along with this gem....must be a Tattler

 

[twilightgarden]

Just seen this and it's the IDEAL mug for our wee Mario! Even has the 3 hairs

 

[Shivers]

I’ve finally found a condition that you actually have...fucking short term memory loss!

Honestly he’s such a bare faced liar!

 

[Dollylollipop]

Out of curiosity I don't know their love story, how did they meet?
Derek seems such a quiet soul compared to screeching Mario.

I think Marion just chapped his door one day, went in n sat down then never left

 

[LoopyHoopy71]

Between the now missing poufe and his IBS there's not a decent stool in that house

 

[D2theyawn]

No doubt when he gets his car he will claim he “ working “with the brand / garage

Aye I decided to work with the company Arnold clark under the brand smart car tae surprise oor Derek with a brand new custom bespoke small car in the colour grey and in the size match box. So aye, Arnold clark were the company I decided to give my services to and give them the exposure they so very very much deserve. They have been a fabulous company to deal with from start to finish and throughout and I cannae thank them enough. I’ve admired their work for many many a year. They were generous enough to give me this wee custom bespoke brand new smart car in the colour grey for only £4846383 per month, so aye, get in contact with them ma lovelies and let them shaft you up the shitter and laugh at you from their wee customer service desk when you drive yours oot the forecourt and it’s faws to bits live laugh love ma luvlies smell ma wealth n aw that

 

[DilysMcGillis]

Imagine the boujie scent in the car a plug in, ava mee car scent and a magic tree. Aaaaahhhh smell the wealth

If Cleaning With Mario #16 isn’t “Smell the wealth” I’m going to have a bitchfit

 

[Be More Pacific]

I hope everyone takes the time to appreciate my new bespoke profile photo honouring the padded, studded, truly boujee coffee table of dreams....