Right so sorry if you are a lover of Christmas but for me I’m not a festive lover and usually end up praying for Christmas Day to be over with. Christmas for me is sad because I end up thinking of family members who have passed away or can’t be there on the day. Due to my previous jobs, I’ve also worked Christmas in some pretty stressful situations. I also find all the hype and manic shopping stressful and end up getting pissed off and going home and having a wine or 5. Is it just me and has anyone got any suggestions on how to navigate Christmas?
- Notice
Itsmerahrah
Active member
It’s over ! Another year done 
anyone else feel this way?
anyone else feel this way?
I am so glad someone made this thread! I’ve found when I’m honest about my hatred towards Christmas (and my birthday actually) people don’t take it seriously, so it’s nice to have somewhere to lay down my thoughts and feelings without judgement.
I really hate Christmas. I hate the commercialisation of it, the obligation to ‘have fun’, the fact it’s rammed down your throat, secret Santa. All of it.
I grew up with divorced parents and both were so focussed on their new families/partners it was never special for me. It was never that magical time of year that it’s supposed to be for children. I just remember arguments over who would have us and being pushed from pillar to post on the day. No child wants to wake up at their home, then be ushered over to their dads, to then be ignored because current partners kids were around, and dropped home late so your parents have yet another row on the doorstep. It was the same every single year.
When I became old enough to drive it was then suddenly on me to make the effort and now I spend most of my Christmas Day driving between houses but feeling in the way whenever I get there. Last year I refused to go to my dads (for various other reasons) and his solution was to drop my gifts on my mums doorstep. He knocked on the door and drove away. Didn’t even wait to see me.
I lived with my mum growing up and she tried to make it special but my step dad was difficult and would eventually start an argument and my brother and I would be sent to our rooms for some unknown breaking of a rule he made up on the spot.
Plus, the last three serious boyfriends I’ve had have always broken up with me shortly after Christmas so that hasn’t helped.
I just dread it. It’s always felt like a time of pain for me and every year feels like it gets worse. If I could, I’d go to sleep Christmas Eve and not wake up until Boxing Day.
I really hate Christmas. I hate the commercialisation of it, the obligation to ‘have fun’, the fact it’s rammed down your throat, secret Santa. All of it.
I grew up with divorced parents and both were so focussed on their new families/partners it was never special for me. It was never that magical time of year that it’s supposed to be for children. I just remember arguments over who would have us and being pushed from pillar to post on the day. No child wants to wake up at their home, then be ushered over to their dads, to then be ignored because current partners kids were around, and dropped home late so your parents have yet another row on the doorstep. It was the same every single year.
When I became old enough to drive it was then suddenly on me to make the effort and now I spend most of my Christmas Day driving between houses but feeling in the way whenever I get there. Last year I refused to go to my dads (for various other reasons) and his solution was to drop my gifts on my mums doorstep. He knocked on the door and drove away. Didn’t even wait to see me.
I lived with my mum growing up and she tried to make it special but my step dad was difficult and would eventually start an argument and my brother and I would be sent to our rooms for some unknown breaking of a rule he made up on the spot.
Plus, the last three serious boyfriends I’ve had have always broken up with me shortly after Christmas so that hasn’t helped.
I just dread it. It’s always felt like a time of pain for me and every year feels like it gets worse. If I could, I’d go to sleep Christmas Eve and not wake up until Boxing Day.
I feel the same too, I always feel super low and sad this time of year. The festive build up which seems to get earlier and earlier every year, is pretty much unavoidable. My birthday is the first week of January, which I have also always hated, so usually cannot wait for January to be over either.
My parents passed away a while ago and since then, I've always felt kind of lost during the festive period as everything is all about family. I live with my boyfriend now and the last few years we've spent Christmas day with his parents, which is lovely but not the same as being with your own family. Prior to us living together, I always used to go on holiday for Christmas/NY, which was so much better for me mentally.
I try my best to avoid the really cheesy family Christmas films, as I find them a bit too much. Except for Elf!!
My parents passed away a while ago and since then, I've always felt kind of lost during the festive period as everything is all about family. I live with my boyfriend now and the last few years we've spent Christmas day with his parents, which is lovely but not the same as being with your own family. Prior to us living together, I always used to go on holiday for Christmas/NY, which was so much better for me mentally.
I try my best to avoid the really cheesy family Christmas films, as I find them a bit too much. Except for Elf!!
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under the ivy
VIP Member
I don’t like Christmas, especially the build-up to it like now. I buy presents for my family and make an effort on the day itself for my family but I suffer with my MH badly and I just want to spend the day in bed if I could. My family don’t seem to understand this so I have to put a brave face on all day. Nothing specifically has triggered my dislike for Christmas, I think it’s just the constant comparing via social media, rammed down your face via TV adverts, money worries etc. It’s also the first Christmas that I’m newly single after a long-term relationship - always spent Boxing Day/nye with my exes family, so that won’t be happening this year which is messing with my head a little bit!
Ruby’s mum
VIP Member
It’s just too much. Pressure to buy when many can’t afford too, pressure to have fun no matter what you’re going through, pressure for it to be perfect. The consumerism, it starting in October, more extravagance each year, fake images on tv and social media of happy extended families all gathered around a table piled with perfectly cooked food all laughing and getting along, pressure to be like them when in reality it’s a logistical nightmare just getting people together let alone them getting along together. Spending money on gifts that in a lot of cases aren’t needed or wanted just because you feel you have to. It’s just so bloody depressing. If it could start at the beginning of December and simplified x100 I would probably enjoy it but as it is I just find it really hard.
Sunflower91
VIP Member
I wouldn’t say I love it but I’m on an upward curve from absolutely loathing it. A few years ago I found out my boyfriend of 5 years was planning a wedding to another woman. Our anniversary was the week before Christmas and I found out that he actually got married the day after what would have been our 6 year anniversary. And from there it was a bit of a downward spiral. It’s been in the back of my mind but there’s also been family disagreements and stuff as well as being in a toxic workplace for a few years. It really didn’t feel like I had much to be celebrating or happy about.
This year I’m just really thankful to be home with my family, and to have some semblance of normality. I’m actually looking forward to the day for the first time in a long time.
This year I’m just really thankful to be home with my family, and to have some semblance of normality. I’m actually looking forward to the day for the first time in a long time.
Mulholland Drive
VIP Member
Loved Christmas when I was a kid, but as I get older the more I am beginning to loathe it.
Many critics describe it now as nothing more than a massive marketing/commercial enterprise, and things like Black Friday and Boxing Day sales underline that (especially the latter - you've just spent a fortune buying stuff for Christmas. then you have one day off for CD, and the following day its back to the shops for more spending)
I don't like Christmas because its in the middle of winter, and I suffer from SAD, so its all one big effort to stay happy short of getting pissed on boozed or smoking weed.
This year is of course worse for a lot of people with this lockdown fiasco, and no one can go anywhere other than within particular bubbles and complicated and inconsistent rules and regs. I wanted to see my family in South Africa over Christmas, but that's all gone shit-shaped.
Many critics describe it now as nothing more than a massive marketing/commercial enterprise, and things like Black Friday and Boxing Day sales underline that (especially the latter - you've just spent a fortune buying stuff for Christmas. then you have one day off for CD, and the following day its back to the shops for more spending)
I don't like Christmas because its in the middle of winter, and I suffer from SAD, so its all one big effort to stay happy short of getting pissed on boozed or smoking weed.
This year is of course worse for a lot of people with this lockdown fiasco, and no one can go anywhere other than within particular bubbles and complicated and inconsistent rules and regs. I wanted to see my family in South Africa over Christmas, but that's all gone shit-shaped.
Bogwoppit
VIP Member
I’m dreading Christmas this year, I can’t afford it for one, I split with my ex husband just before last Christmas & we agreed to tell our kids we had split up after Christmas but he had other plans & told the kids Christmas Day we had split up (he was still living in the house, sleeping separately) he told the kids it was me seeing someone else as well when it was actually him, he ruined it for them them & they will never forget & I just feel so sad for them still to this day! I literally have no money & I’m devastated for them I really am, I know it’s not all about money but nowadays it feels like it is, so much competition all the time.
HelloStereo
VIP Member
I like having the time off and all the food and the fact that a lot of people tend to be in good spirits, but I don't like the day itself.
I used to spend it with family when I was younger and had loads of little traditions and loved it. But a few of my family members have died now so I usually just spend it by myself.
I used to spend it with family when I was younger and had loads of little traditions and loved it. But a few of my family members have died now so I usually just spend it by myself.
totallytaz
Chatty Member
I feel the same way. Christmas will never ever be the same since my granny passed away. We are a small family and now it’s just my mum and dad and me, although technically just them as I live abroad in a country that doesn’t celebrate it.
I hope to take my boyfriend to spend next Christmas with them but it will be odd without my gran coming over at 10am having a nosey at our presents, later demanding to watch Paul O’Grady’s For the Love of Dogs...
I hope to take my boyfriend to spend next Christmas with them but it will be odd without my gran coming over at 10am having a nosey at our presents, later demanding to watch Paul O’Grady’s For the Love of Dogs...
Peeky_Mink
Well-known member
I loved Christmas as a child but now as an adult I really don't like it. I'm feeling so down at the moment and don't need all of the Christmas hassle on top. Looking forward to it being over.
SpiceWeasel
VIP Member
I find Christmas very stressful, my parents separated nearly 20 years ago now and every year my mum who lives alone has guilt tripped me into spending it with her (I'm an only child) it used to be me going to hers but now she comes and spends it with my partner and I. I won't go into great detail but we don't get on very well, I try to but she is very difficult, nothing is ever good enough and she and makes me feel on edge, especially as she has a habit of drinking too much and getting very opinionated. Because of this I find it impossible to relax, I like a drink myself but I find it harder to bite my tongue if I do drink and she says something to piss me off. She has elected us as her social bubble so there's no getting out of it whatsoever. I feel awful having typed that out as I wish I didn't feel like I do as I do love her, she is thoughtful and she can be sweet at times but I as always am dreading Christmas 
Last year we actually had 'Christmas' on the 21st as we went on holiday on Boxing Day and stayed at the airport Xmas Day night where we ordered pizza and sat on the bed eating it watching Gavin & Stacey which was PERFECT. The Christmas on the 21st I went all out on the meal and was prepping for it for days prior, ended up crying in the kitchen because I was only reminded by my mum through sarky comments of how it was an improvement on the year before. 2018 Christmas dinner was a complete disaster because my Grandma had just died and I was giving absolutely zero fucks about Christmas as my mum just expected everything to be normal. I just couldn't be arsed and didn't prep anything, went to the pub 12-3 and came back and attempted to cook everything and it was a total fuck up
I feel really sorry for my boyfriend who has a lovely family and I know his sister gives him a hard time as since we've been together we haven't spent it with them because of my situation. I would love to go and have a nice, 'normal' Christmas with them. My dad, fellow Christmas hater usually goes on holiday on his own to avoid the shit show.
Last year we actually had 'Christmas' on the 21st as we went on holiday on Boxing Day and stayed at the airport Xmas Day night where we ordered pizza and sat on the bed eating it watching Gavin & Stacey which was PERFECT. The Christmas on the 21st I went all out on the meal and was prepping for it for days prior, ended up crying in the kitchen because I was only reminded by my mum through sarky comments of how it was an improvement on the year before. 2018 Christmas dinner was a complete disaster because my Grandma had just died and I was giving absolutely zero fucks about Christmas as my mum just expected everything to be normal. I just couldn't be arsed and didn't prep anything, went to the pub 12-3 and came back and attempted to cook everything and it was a total fuck up
I feel really sorry for my boyfriend who has a lovely family and I know his sister gives him a hard time as since we've been together we haven't spent it with them because of my situation. I would love to go and have a nice, 'normal' Christmas with them. My dad, fellow Christmas hater usually goes on holiday on his own to avoid the shit show.
Platypusfattypus
VIP Member
I don't hate Christmas itself. I love the day and had some amazing Christmases as a child. But losing my parents and then most of my family makes Christmas hard. You get a reminder of what you have lost, not helped by the whole family thing that gets forced at you through adverts etc. You can't get away from it all. There's a lot of pressure on having the perfect day and a lot of commercial stuff that just takes the magic away.
Since having my kids christnas has become fun again bit I keep it low-key. I don't see the point of the over the top gestures as we still have the best Christmas without bankrupting ourselves
Since having my kids christnas has become fun again bit I keep it low-key. I don't see the point of the over the top gestures as we still have the best Christmas without bankrupting ourselves
I really don’t enjoy Christmas either. My life has been pretty tough the last few years and I’m just not in a great place so when Christmas comes around I feel even worse because it’s a time where everyone is expected to be overjoyed. My boyfriend also lives abroad and I won’t be seeing him this year so that makes it tough too.
This is exactly how I feel.
I don't celebrate Christmas, but I enjoy the "festive" atmosphere. The issue is that over here, shops start selling Christmas items in October and blasting Christmas music in November. By the time year-end holidays start, I'm already done with the whole thing. Also, Christmas is more exciting when you're a child. As a grown up, you no longer see the magic in it.
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Itsallaboutmememe
Chatty Member
Growing up,I was super close to my grandad
he bought me up and died just before Christmas when I was 14
not one of my family even mentioned him-I wanted to light a candle for him but my narcissistic mother refused ‘as he’s dead,what’s the point?’
ive hated it ever since-it’s about now I start to feel low and won’t come out of it until I see the daffodils break through the ground in spring
the only good thing about this time of year is robins-they where his favourite birds and they seem to be everywhere
i light candles in his memory every birthday now
he bought me up and died just before Christmas when I was 14
not one of my family even mentioned him-I wanted to light a candle for him but my narcissistic mother refused ‘as he’s dead,what’s the point?’
ive hated it ever since-it’s about now I start to feel low and won’t come out of it until I see the daffodils break through the ground in spring
the only good thing about this time of year is robins-they where his favourite birds and they seem to be everywhere
i light candles in his memory every birthday now
Petulant_vlogger
Well-known member
My other half is like Mr. Christmas. My decorations have been up for 2 weeks. He VOLUNTARILY listens to Christmas music on purpose. His favourite movie is a christmas film. He loves it.
I bloody detest it. And yet. Its still me buying all the crap and cooking all the food and trying to make everything so magical. I dont feel the "magic" and never have. Honestly wish I could just sleep between Halloween and new year.
I bloody detest it. And yet. Its still me buying all the crap and cooking all the food and trying to make everything so magical. I dont feel the "magic" and never have. Honestly wish I could just sleep between Halloween and new year.
FridaK
VIP Member
It’s not that I dislike it per se, it’s just that I don’t really care about it. It’s just a week of nonsense for no other reason than that we are ‘supposed’ to behave a certain way. I’ve always felt like that so never do anything traditional. As a family we just do and eat what we want with presents. I do have a small to moderate tree and we do things like dress up the dogs, but we don’t have uniformed visiting or parties. We go where the wind blows us. Now everyone is used to it and gives us open invites with a *just in case you feel like it.*
I do like New Year’s Eve as a family though, we do that at home, but again I give out open invites. I think it’s because I come from a large family made up of kids and step kids and my kids have different dads with big families. It would be too hard to please everyone so I say everyone please yourself
I do like New Year’s Eve as a family though, we do that at home, but again I give out open invites. I think it’s because I come from a large family made up of kids and step kids and my kids have different dads with big families. It would be too hard to please everyone so I say everyone please yourself
I can quite honestly say I have disliked Christmas for the last 15 years. That’s when we left the uk to move to NZ.
it’s not because of the people we left behind particularly, cos trust me I have had some shit christmases with close family and relatives…
It’s more a case of NZ doing Christmas so badly. Ok so it’s in the middle of summer here… but you can’t buy a real tree, a decent Turkey, decorations that aren’t cheap and nasty, no sprouts or edible mince pies either.
No one exchanges cards, and the tv viewing is dire.
To make matters worse our only child is in Australia - so no travel there…
Christmas dinner just the two of us at a big dining table was so depressing.
Totally not doing Christmas next year, I’m either going out to eat, or preferably going away somewhere.
it’s not because of the people we left behind particularly, cos trust me I have had some shit christmases with close family and relatives…
It’s more a case of NZ doing Christmas so badly. Ok so it’s in the middle of summer here… but you can’t buy a real tree, a decent Turkey, decorations that aren’t cheap and nasty, no sprouts or edible mince pies either.
No one exchanges cards, and the tv viewing is dire.
To make matters worse our only child is in Australia - so no travel there…
Christmas dinner just the two of us at a big dining table was so depressing.
Totally not doing Christmas next year, I’m either going out to eat, or preferably going away somewhere.