I got tattle knackered for the first time since October. It was pretty good and a lot of snuggles followed. But I am feeling weirdly depressed and anxious and ashamed. I had a little chat with the guy about how I don’t want to rush into things but I’d like to only have one sexual partner at a time and I want to take things slowly but sincerely etc., and he said he’s on the same page.
We’ve established that we are dating (have been seeing each other for a month now) but we want to not be attached at the hips and rush in too fast. Both him and I had previous relationships where our ex partners became really controlling. We want to make sure that there’d be time for our careers and friends this time round. Anyways, my anxiety kicked in and I felt the need to clarify how much communication I wanted in between dates. So, I proceeded to have a little chat about texting as well - basically let’s not text each other during work hours to give space but I do like hearing from him and vice versa so let’s try to keep in touch once a day or every other day.
The first convo about exclusive but taking things slow really went well. But the second convo, although it lasted like three minutes, I felt like I was being awkward and unnecessarily communicating. And I’ve been feeling so anxious and depressed about bringing it up since then. When I walked him to the front door, he said he had a fun time this weekend (first time staying overnight, from Saturday afternoon until Sunday afternoon) and that we will keep in touch and he will plan something for us to do for our next date.
In my mind, I can’t help but fear that I brought up too much too fast and I’m scared that I might have scared him off. I think I am also feeling very vulnerable that I had sex and I invited him over to my place overnight. He’s the first man to stay overnight in my apartment since I moved here in 2020. Not even my ex has stayed over. I’m the type of person who really sees my home as a sacred space so it takes a lot for me to invite someone over. I really like this guy and felt comfortable having him around and I want to have him around again and have things progress naturally. Just really nervous and anxious if I shot myself in the foot with the texting pace conversation.
The weekend was lovely though, we both pulled our back muscles over the past two weeks so we decided to have an indoors date for the first time. We had cake (made strawberry shortcake) and then we chatted. Watched a movie, went out for dinner, came home, drank wine and watched another movie. Snuggled to sleep, woke up and got tattle knackered, we had the exclusive chat, he cooked me lunch, we had the text chat, and then we wrapped up the date. I’m supposed to go Frisbee golfing with his friends next Saturday. He invited me very nicely on Friday (before we had the chats) and I said yes. I’m now worried if I fucked up and came off uncool. I hope I am still invited.
I hope everyone else slept well 
🥱 i also got my period today as predicted by our dear flo so tomorrow will be a day of doing absolutely nothing!
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emoji when it was raining and I had to have a very uncomfortable conversation to explain that it looked inappropriate when they would say on teams “got soaked this morning 
made me feel 10/10
is that crazy?