Childfree by choice #7 Parents: not everything is about you

[xxAprilxx]

 

[prozacprincess]

My husband got some snarky comments recently from his friend about how having children is worth more than any money he could earn, and how sad and unfulfilled our life must be if we care more about our lifestyle and pets than creating the next generation of humans

He retaliated by filling our cats beds with £50 notes (film props but you can’t tell) and sending his friend a photo with the cats asleep in them

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

No, sorry but I spent my childhood giving up seats for older people and it's my turn now. Especially if I've paid for and reserved my seat. Mummy should've reserved them all seats.

I've seen mothers on buses refuse to fold up their buggies or create a massive entitled eyerolling fuss when someone in a wheelchair needs to get on and use that space. Fuck off with that shit. Yeah, it's a hassle for you but wheelchair trumps that every time.

This reminds me of a situation my partner and I found ourselves in on a plane journey a few years ago. We were going to Spain and had booked the aisle and middle seat, the window seat had already been purchased.
A man, woman and two kids (I'd say maybe 8ish and maybe a teenager) got on and the woman kept looking at us so I had an idea what might be coming.
The mum was directly behind us and the dad was on the row opposite us with the kids on either side of him. The teenager had earphones in, by the window, the younger kid had an ipad and earphones too but the mother was obviously not very happy she was separated. Although sat directly behind me she could still talk to the youngest child, she just had to lean forward. He was engrossed in his ipad anyway. the dad wasn't bothered either but she then tapped me on the shoulder and asked would i mind maybe swapping seats so that she could sit beside her family.
I refused. I told her I had purchased my seat.
She then went on to ask the person who had the window seat if they would swap with her so that my boyfriend and I could move down to the window and middle seat as i was apparently not wanting to sit alone. Her words lol. The cheek like.
The man at the window said no, sorry, he had wanted a window seat and didn't want to move. My boyfriend told her really politely that we had booked our seats for a reason and we weren't happy to move either.
So she then went to the cabin crew and explained her ordeal and requested they ask us to move which they weren't able to do. I have anxiety so confrontation etc can be really triggering for me and I was absolutely moritfied but we stood our ground and refused to move, all 3 of us in that row. Cabin crew informed her that our seats had been pre booked and there was nothing they were able to do.
Her attitude was absolutely stinking in all honesty. She huffed and puffed the whole way through the flight, talking loudly to her child beside me who wasn't paying attention to her - she was obviously doing it to try and wind us up which it didn't in the slightest. Anytime one of us got up to go to the toilet she would give us dirty looks. All we could do was look at one another and smirk... it was the behaviour of a child but ironically her children were being really well behaved. The husband throughout this looked really embarrased. If it had maybe been a new born or a young toddler I might have considered it but it wasn't. If you want seats directly beside your family, fucking pay for them.

 

[JE172]

Thread title suggestion!
Childfree by choice #8 Parents keep scrolling, we don’t need your trolling!

 

[stroppysal]

Anyone else hate it when an influencer who you follow on here has a baby? Molly mae, Stacey solomon etc. Their threads turn into mumsnet with everyone talking about their own traumatic births, sleepless nights, teething an how tired they are. The terrible twos. How the celeb has no idea how hard it is to raise a baby, they're lucky they've got money/nannies. Then the arguments start on whether or not a baby needs to be breastfed, an if the car seat they are in is safe. Not sure what my point is, but they dont half make being a parent sound like an utterly miserable experience. I couldn't cope with it all, its bad enough reading about it from strangers on here

 

[littlewonder]

We're not a museum exhibit.

*David Attenborough voice*: and here we see a childless woman - alone, miserable and lacking in empathy. they’re about to undertake their fascinating daily ritual of driving their Ford Focus to the local offy for a bottle of Pinot. Their lives are simple and yet meaningless - why do they even bother to exist?

 

[Platformcrocs]

I saw that "little tummies" LinkedIn post the other day. Made me feel unwell.

I don't necessarily think the world needs to revolve around full time working hours and I'm also very aware of how expensive childcare is. But if you choose to work full time 9-5, funnily enough, the world doesn't stop at 5pm to accommodate the "little tummies".

It's this weird martyrdom I can't be bothered with. You chose to have children - yes it's expensive as fuck and difficult to fit around standard working hours! Why does this always seem to come as a surprise?!

 

[penny1992]

Controversial take probably but I don't think IVF should be covered by the nhs.
It isn't covered by insurance where I live. I saw an article about how IVF shouldn't be covered by the nhs and one of the quotes was "there's a difference between curing illness and curing dissatisfaction." Harsh but true.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I don't need to even say anything. Goes well with the title!!

So self entitled!

Someone actually said to me once that “you can’t complain you’re tired until you’ve had kids”.

I used to suffer from fatigue from a b12 deficiency, I’m pretty sure I know a bit about tiredness.

 

[littlewonder]

reverse psychology for the next thread title?

Childfree by Choice - Parents: this is specifically about you. Yes, you.

 

[Millais]

Does anyone else feel exhausted that every ‘extravagance’ no matter how minor gets commented on by parents? “Did you say you set up your Nectar points to convert to Avios? That’s a bit FANCY. I SHOP at LIDL. And I FLY on RYANAIR. I have CHILDREN so I CANNOT go to SAINSBURY’S. And you have COUPONS on the APP for COUSCOUS? If I had the app I would get coupons for chicken DINOSAURS instead” Like ok? I’ve only bought enough couscous to get me to Brussels, I’m not going all Supermarket Sweep here. Just sit down and eat your dinosaurs.

 

[newtoyou]

Apart from the obvious of not wanting a screaming child with me 24/7, one of the things that puts me off is the absolute tedium of it all.

Don’t get me wrong I live a “boring” life but the mere thought of doing the school drop off/pick up every day makes me recoil It just all seems so BORING. Having to talk to other parents, going to kid friendly events, watching a load of uncoordinated small people dance around a hall while you question your own existence. And worst of all taking them to the park when it’s cold and having to watch them climb on various apparatus when you could be under a blanket on the sofa. I just couldn’t do it!

 

[stroppysal]

So glad I've found this thread! Sick of being made to feel like there's something wrong with me for not wanting kids.

Also this made me laugh, thought it would be appropriate here

 

[flutternutter]

I was previously childfree NOT by choice. I have recently become "by choice" in the sense of giving up.

Everyone is making me feel like a monster because I wanted kids for so long and over the years of losses and misery I've got less and less interested and now, I just want to go on expensive holidays and buy designer handbags... will they all catch on to my new lifestyle or am i destined to live a life of people TELLING me how much im going to regret not spending every day of my life and every penny i own to produce a child?

 

[aidil]

How rude!

I would have said “well you chose to have kids hun”

I just cheerily shouted CAN’T RELATE and ran off 🤌

 

[Millyhex]

Local parent sees childfree thread named ‘Parents, not everything is about you’, proceeds to make it all about them by stating it’s not their experience, proves our point, more at 10

 

[aidil]

Went into work today and asked the receptionist if she’d had a nice day off yesterday (she has Wednesdays off). She immediately jumped down my throat with “well it’s not a day off because I have to look after my children!”

Hun, it’s not that deep. I was just asking if you enjoyed your time away from work. I won’t say anything next time incase I upset you

 

[AmmaH]

Hi ladies, not looking for sympathy but recently got diagnosed with breast cancer and the first thing that was mentioned was fertility options.

Honestly having been a part of this thread was such a help as knew due to my age (40), and the fact that I'll be put into a medical menopause as part of my treatment I was pretty comfortable knowing that I was making the right decision for me saying no to the egg harvesting despite my family thinking the opposite (my hubs is fine with my decision though 🩷).

Good to know not everyone in the world wants to have a load of sprogs. Knowing theres a few of us with the same mindset made it a lot easier for me to say no and focus on getting myself better!

 

[LaBlonde]

I’m a parent it doesn’t make me angry I just don’t get it. Popped into the thread out of curiosity & haven’t read what it’s based on. I don’t think everything is about me I would have thought that type of parent is in the minority based on my experiences.

 

[penny1992]

Probably an unpopular opinion but I found working full-time and counting in the city harder work than being a mum, having said that having grandparents nearby helps massively and being atleast financially stable helps, I actually fine myself spending less now, as I am not out in London , going to fancy places so much s and wearing expensive clothes is a bit pointless now , also nursery fees are not that much if your just putting one child in for a couple of mornings a week …

Are you lost? This is a the childfree thread.