LadyKate
Well-known member
Babs #34 TLDR - featuring Ste’s Excel collage creations.
Poll results showing - 55 people thought yes he did use Excel (ta for the votes Babs, Nanny San, Ste and BTEC Paul. Nice work making multiple accounts to vote from.) for his anniversary collage and a massive 318 thought no effing way did he use Excel for it.
Last time on the Babs show Ste was demonstrating his excellent Excel skills, Babs mask was slipping showing her narcissism and anger when questioned on her lies and she hit a new low doing the WAP dance. My eyes still haven’t recovered from that last one.
Sunday morning and no pit of doom stories from the health hazard that is Babs bed. Is she still alive? Did she have an epic meltdown and sleep on the bathroom floor? Has Ste finally slipped his chains and run off into the distance shouting “your fanny smells like fish and you aren’t funny”? The Babettes must be all twitching and clutching at their headbands that something is wrong with their leader.
Oh Babs is still with us, she’s just gone for a shuffle to the park. Treated us to a long explanation as why she doesn’t like the 25 minute Couch to 5K runs which boils down to she’s lazy and can’t be arsed. We also get an explanation of what she keeps in her mysterious bumbag via a grid post, she seems to have missed Ste’s balls off the list though. She says she wear sunglasses when she shuffles sometimes, I want to know if she wears those red heart shaped ones because if she does she’s going to look even more stupid than she does in a headband.
Apparently yesterday when they all did tie dye, Ste decided to do his pants. Everyone on the Internet has been treated to a photo of how they turned out with a bullseye going right to his penis (I’m sorry, he’s an almost 40 year old man, not a child, I refuse to call his a willy). The whole house was rabid with laughter, they screamed and ran around with the sheer hilarity before they all dropped to the floor and kept rolling around because that’s just how rabidly they were howling with laughter. But it’s a bit odd, and inappropriate, to mention to your kids that their dad has done a bullseye to direct people (not you Babs, he doesn’t want your fishy fanny on it) to his penis. Also why did Babs use the eggplant emoji in her photo narration, when she has previously told us that it’s more baby carrot than eggplant?
Babs has still yet to learn that the big shiny thing that lives in the kitchen, heats up and Ste is chained to is called an oven so they’re off out for Sunday lunch apparently.
The Sunday lunch may or may not have happened as Babs proudly shared that she finally feels like a real mum now (surely either pushing 2 babies out or having them come out the sunroof, plus the next however many months of shitty nappies/feedings/sleep deprivation make you feel like a real mum - exhausted, running on caffeine, juggling far too many things but so in love with your kids) that she has used her shiny new Tupperware for a picnic. I’m just gobsmacked that there were things that weren’t actually beige packed.
Babs has shared that Ste will not be modelling his tie dye underwear with the bullseye to his baby carrot for the world to see. All of the Internet breathed a large sigh of relief.
It’s official, the dinosaurs still walk the earth, so watch out for low flying pterodactyls today. Well with Babs master rearrangement of history who can be surprised? This morning she has tried to convince the world that she loved lockdown, spending all that time together, doing all the homeschooling herself and that she is so sad the kids are going back when we all know she’s cartwheeling round the garden shouting “FREEEEEEDOMMM!”. A now ex-Babette (@Kikidoyouloveme, welcome!) quite rightly pulled her up on it and Babs got very defensive and accused her of being obsessed with her. So why is it that someone who frequently rewrites her life narration is so shit at actual writing?!
Quite a few IC20 members have progressed to gold “I got blocked by Babs” badges today and some have even earnt their second or third. At this rate we’ll have to come up with some more for when you get multiple blocks. Babs block and delete finger is getting more of a workout today than she ever does when she does her shuffle to the park. Mind you don’t strain it Babs!
Google appears to dislike Babs as much as we do, if you type “Brummy Mummy of 2” into the search bar the first suggestion is “Brummy Mummy of 2 tattle”. No doubt she’ll accuse us of hacking into google or something stupid like that because we are so obsessed with her. The IC20 is taking over the world *evil laugh*.
Aww a lovely photo of a cute puppy, shame about the complete idiot holding her. Puppy looks like she’d rather be anywhere, including at the vet with a thermometer up her bum for a temperature check, than being held by Babs.
Good news! Babs has ordered yet more headbands from Claire’s. @Loopybird69 compared her to Mrs Potato head when she wears them and I have to say the resemblance is uncanny. https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-34-ste-excels-at-being-a-doormat.9014/post-2248518
Praise the washing fairy, aka Ste, her bedding has been washed! Hopefully boil washed to nuke the germs.
Babs confirmed poor Erin had to film that WAP monstrosity video. I hope Babs is squirreling away her earnings from #fajitafriday to pay for therapy for Erin when she’s older. Poor kid will be scarred for life. I’m scarred for life and I only saw the video, not the live show and all the rehearsals beforehand.
Today the kids could be at school, could be at home or could be at McDonald’s based off Babs posts throughout today. They’ve had some fun doing (enforced) holiday diaries, Ethan got his own story to shine in, they had McDonald’s for tea as a #Ad to make Babs look good as it was for #charity and the golden child got taken out for a special Starbucks. I’m just a bit disappointed Babs didn’t do a special shout out to IC20 by making the kids have fish finger happy meals or featuring a fillet o fish for herself!
Now Babs and charity have a bit of a rocky history (remember the mugs and the extra £1 price increase to cover the charity donation), she is one of those who believes charity begins at home. Pretty sure she’s doing this #Ad for #charity to prove a point that yes she is charitable and wants to give back to the hospital that helped “the girl” with her neck. At first she didn’t openly state what was going on with her fee, she needs it to make quality content, but after questioning from multiple users she confirmed she’s actually donating it for once. I was so shocked I accidentally dribbled tea. And she did block and delete comments questioning her what she is doing with the fee though. Tad defensive there Babs. Still Babs mind control is working and she has trained the Babettes that any private account or one with a small following is a troll and they must attack with their hair bands and shit water sandals. And she got a plug in for her new mugs coming soon, I am RABID with excitement for them.
Ste took one for the team and wore his bullseye pants today. I suspect it was so he could sneak a new photo for his Grindr in the office toilets. Babs was desperate to share him wearing them but praise all our lucky stars Ste realises that the Internet is forever and didn’t fancy being tormented on a daily basis at work.
Ohh look another crappy poem about how we all “did it and survived the lockdown and kids at home”. But she didn’t do it, Ste did. Again with the rewriting history. And she turned the comments off eventually because god forbid anyone question her on how much she actually did between holidays and day drinking sessions.
#tampongate is still causing some slight confusion here about the actual logistics of how Ste got the tampon up there. Did he use his slenderman fingers, made a device that’s a cross between a pea shooter/calpol syringe or maybe he just said “fuck it” closed his eyes, held his breath and shoved it up with a rolling pin.
The episode of “Shagged, married, annoyed” where Rosie calls it disgusting that a husband would change/put a tampon in for you and broke Babs heart with her disapproval, caused her to try and rewrite her “Ste changed my tampon” story, which in turn sparked #tampongate is Episode 77, about 41 minutes in (props to @Memmy for the time it features in the episode).
BrummyMummy: the trolls attack part 2. After a long weekend of block, delete and repeat for our Babs she has decided that it is part 2 of “when trolls attack”. Morning stories featuring a large woe is me theme as Babs just can’t handle her alternate reality being questioned. She makes it sound like she’s being harassed constantly instead of choosing to come here and read it. And don’t even get me started on the “I don’t know what I do to encourage it”. I could literally close my eyes and point at any of her grid posts and explain to her why it’s stupid/inappropriate/down right disgusting. (Link to screenshots here: https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-34-ste-excels-at-being-a-doormat.9014/post-2264076)
And just like magic the stories disappeared faster the Ste does when she starts moaning about her ex’s. Super calculated to possibly allow her to have a few days off away from the mean nasty trolls aka packing/moving/watching Netflix in her pjs. I rolled my eyes so hard over this whole thing that they’re still going round.
The thing is whenever she does this and screams “troll!” All she does is send more Babettes over who read what we’re saying and see we make sense. She can even see that it’s way beyond the IC20 now, more like the IC200 and half of us have been directed here by her troll stories. It’s also often said by the Tattle Mods to “keep it on Tattle” which is excellent advice when it comes to commenting on our Babs, means none of us can be accused of being a troll and makes it easier for us to know what she’s reading on here.
In a very anticlimactic ending to Babs “ohhh I’m going to miss them so much” she has done a single post about the kids going back to school. I was expecting a live vlog of them walking to school, as the kids say bye Babs falls to her knees outside the gate and starts wailing like the world is ending as they walk in. They are definitely back to school today, photo evidence of them in their shiny new uniforms and holding a board saying what they want to be when they’re older. Ethan wants to be a vet and Erin wants to be a “triple threat”. Well we know who has inherited Babs attention seeking genes. They do look sweet though, all kids do in their first day photos. Wonder if Babs and Erin had a fight over who was wearing which headband today...
Early predictions for the end of the school day are “I’ve missed them SO much”, “shooketh at how quiet it is”, “rabid to get them home and sniff their hair” and “excited to hear all about their days” (this last one applies more to the golden child). I would love to be able to see how the other mums at school treat her after the last 6 months. Babs won’t need to worry about social distancing, they’ll be treating her like she’s got the plague if they’ve seen even a fraction of what she’s done recently.
Babs replied to a YouTube commentator that she’s “having a little break for a while”, so all the predictions of an epic meltdown coming might be true. Who had “taking a break again” on their Babs bingo card? The woman has more meltdown breaks than a Kitkat. Still it’ll only be for maximum 3 days, any longer than that and she’ll get withdrawals from lack of attention and her ego will start to die off. Although I do hope she does take some time away to stop the epic disaster she is becoming and sort herself and mental health out but I’m doubtful and believe it’s mainly for attention. She’s like a middle aged, drunken Tinkerbell. She needs the Babettes love and adoration to live.
Waaaaaait! Stop the presses, she has been sent “pumpkin spice vibes” from a Babette via Twitter. All will magically be healed by the sexy pumpkin spice vibes and the nasty trolls (definitely not us, I picture trolls as neckbeard keyboard warrior types who continually post nasty stuff) will fall back hissing and be defeated by the glory that is pumpkin spice.
*insert dramatic ending music here* and that’s it for #34. Tune in next time when we will see if we get “BrummyMummy vs the trolls part 3”, discover how long her “break” lasts, whether she finally moves house and if Ste will finally get his courage up to leave her for a man he’s met on Grindr.
Babs Bonus Bits:
Another great song by the very talented @Missymoo92 https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-34-ste-excels-at-being-a-doormat.9014/post-2236915
Beautiful poem by @Liv (pamphlet of poetry coming soon!) Inspired by Babs post lockdown poem to the kids - https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-34-ste-excels-at-being-a-doormat.9014/post-2251651
Poll results showing - 55 people thought yes he did use Excel (ta for the votes Babs, Nanny San, Ste and BTEC Paul. Nice work making multiple accounts to vote from.) for his anniversary collage and a massive 318 thought no effing way did he use Excel for it.
Last time on the Babs show Ste was demonstrating his excellent Excel skills, Babs mask was slipping showing her narcissism and anger when questioned on her lies and she hit a new low doing the WAP dance. My eyes still haven’t recovered from that last one.
Sunday morning and no pit of doom stories from the health hazard that is Babs bed. Is she still alive? Did she have an epic meltdown and sleep on the bathroom floor? Has Ste finally slipped his chains and run off into the distance shouting “your fanny smells like fish and you aren’t funny”? The Babettes must be all twitching and clutching at their headbands that something is wrong with their leader.
Oh Babs is still with us, she’s just gone for a shuffle to the park. Treated us to a long explanation as why she doesn’t like the 25 minute Couch to 5K runs which boils down to she’s lazy and can’t be arsed. We also get an explanation of what she keeps in her mysterious bumbag via a grid post, she seems to have missed Ste’s balls off the list though. She says she wear sunglasses when she shuffles sometimes, I want to know if she wears those red heart shaped ones because if she does she’s going to look even more stupid than she does in a headband.
Apparently yesterday when they all did tie dye, Ste decided to do his pants. Everyone on the Internet has been treated to a photo of how they turned out with a bullseye going right to his penis (I’m sorry, he’s an almost 40 year old man, not a child, I refuse to call his a willy). The whole house was rabid with laughter, they screamed and ran around with the sheer hilarity before they all dropped to the floor and kept rolling around because that’s just how rabidly they were howling with laughter. But it’s a bit odd, and inappropriate, to mention to your kids that their dad has done a bullseye to direct people (not you Babs, he doesn’t want your fishy fanny on it) to his penis. Also why did Babs use the eggplant emoji in her photo narration, when she has previously told us that it’s more baby carrot than eggplant?
Babs has still yet to learn that the big shiny thing that lives in the kitchen, heats up and Ste is chained to is called an oven so they’re off out for Sunday lunch apparently.
The Sunday lunch may or may not have happened as Babs proudly shared that she finally feels like a real mum now (surely either pushing 2 babies out or having them come out the sunroof, plus the next however many months of shitty nappies/feedings/sleep deprivation make you feel like a real mum - exhausted, running on caffeine, juggling far too many things but so in love with your kids) that she has used her shiny new Tupperware for a picnic. I’m just gobsmacked that there were things that weren’t actually beige packed.
Babs has shared that Ste will not be modelling his tie dye underwear with the bullseye to his baby carrot for the world to see. All of the Internet breathed a large sigh of relief.
It’s official, the dinosaurs still walk the earth, so watch out for low flying pterodactyls today. Well with Babs master rearrangement of history who can be surprised? This morning she has tried to convince the world that she loved lockdown, spending all that time together, doing all the homeschooling herself and that she is so sad the kids are going back when we all know she’s cartwheeling round the garden shouting “FREEEEEEDOMMM!”. A now ex-Babette (@Kikidoyouloveme, welcome!) quite rightly pulled her up on it and Babs got very defensive and accused her of being obsessed with her. So why is it that someone who frequently rewrites her life narration is so shit at actual writing?!
Quite a few IC20 members have progressed to gold “I got blocked by Babs” badges today and some have even earnt their second or third. At this rate we’ll have to come up with some more for when you get multiple blocks. Babs block and delete finger is getting more of a workout today than she ever does when she does her shuffle to the park. Mind you don’t strain it Babs!
Google appears to dislike Babs as much as we do, if you type “Brummy Mummy of 2” into the search bar the first suggestion is “Brummy Mummy of 2 tattle”. No doubt she’ll accuse us of hacking into google or something stupid like that because we are so obsessed with her. The IC20 is taking over the world *evil laugh*.
Aww a lovely photo of a cute puppy, shame about the complete idiot holding her. Puppy looks like she’d rather be anywhere, including at the vet with a thermometer up her bum for a temperature check, than being held by Babs.
Good news! Babs has ordered yet more headbands from Claire’s. @Loopybird69 compared her to Mrs Potato head when she wears them and I have to say the resemblance is uncanny. https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-34-ste-excels-at-being-a-doormat.9014/post-2248518
Praise the washing fairy, aka Ste, her bedding has been washed! Hopefully boil washed to nuke the germs.
Babs confirmed poor Erin had to film that WAP monstrosity video. I hope Babs is squirreling away her earnings from #fajitafriday to pay for therapy for Erin when she’s older. Poor kid will be scarred for life. I’m scarred for life and I only saw the video, not the live show and all the rehearsals beforehand.
Today the kids could be at school, could be at home or could be at McDonald’s based off Babs posts throughout today. They’ve had some fun doing (enforced) holiday diaries, Ethan got his own story to shine in, they had McDonald’s for tea as a #Ad to make Babs look good as it was for #charity and the golden child got taken out for a special Starbucks. I’m just a bit disappointed Babs didn’t do a special shout out to IC20 by making the kids have fish finger happy meals or featuring a fillet o fish for herself!
Now Babs and charity have a bit of a rocky history (remember the mugs and the extra £1 price increase to cover the charity donation), she is one of those who believes charity begins at home. Pretty sure she’s doing this #Ad for #charity to prove a point that yes she is charitable and wants to give back to the hospital that helped “the girl” with her neck. At first she didn’t openly state what was going on with her fee, she needs it to make quality content, but after questioning from multiple users she confirmed she’s actually donating it for once. I was so shocked I accidentally dribbled tea. And she did block and delete comments questioning her what she is doing with the fee though. Tad defensive there Babs. Still Babs mind control is working and she has trained the Babettes that any private account or one with a small following is a troll and they must attack with their hair bands and shit water sandals. And she got a plug in for her new mugs coming soon, I am RABID with excitement for them.
Ste took one for the team and wore his bullseye pants today. I suspect it was so he could sneak a new photo for his Grindr in the office toilets. Babs was desperate to share him wearing them but praise all our lucky stars Ste realises that the Internet is forever and didn’t fancy being tormented on a daily basis at work.
Ohh look another crappy poem about how we all “did it and survived the lockdown and kids at home”. But she didn’t do it, Ste did. Again with the rewriting history. And she turned the comments off eventually because god forbid anyone question her on how much she actually did between holidays and day drinking sessions.
#tampongate is still causing some slight confusion here about the actual logistics of how Ste got the tampon up there. Did he use his slenderman fingers, made a device that’s a cross between a pea shooter/calpol syringe or maybe he just said “fuck it” closed his eyes, held his breath and shoved it up with a rolling pin.
The episode of “Shagged, married, annoyed” where Rosie calls it disgusting that a husband would change/put a tampon in for you and broke Babs heart with her disapproval, caused her to try and rewrite her “Ste changed my tampon” story, which in turn sparked #tampongate is Episode 77, about 41 minutes in (props to @Memmy for the time it features in the episode).
BrummyMummy: the trolls attack part 2. After a long weekend of block, delete and repeat for our Babs she has decided that it is part 2 of “when trolls attack”. Morning stories featuring a large woe is me theme as Babs just can’t handle her alternate reality being questioned. She makes it sound like she’s being harassed constantly instead of choosing to come here and read it. And don’t even get me started on the “I don’t know what I do to encourage it”. I could literally close my eyes and point at any of her grid posts and explain to her why it’s stupid/inappropriate/down right disgusting. (Link to screenshots here: https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-34-ste-excels-at-being-a-doormat.9014/post-2264076)
And just like magic the stories disappeared faster the Ste does when she starts moaning about her ex’s. Super calculated to possibly allow her to have a few days off away from the mean nasty trolls aka packing/moving/watching Netflix in her pjs. I rolled my eyes so hard over this whole thing that they’re still going round.
The thing is whenever she does this and screams “troll!” All she does is send more Babettes over who read what we’re saying and see we make sense. She can even see that it’s way beyond the IC20 now, more like the IC200 and half of us have been directed here by her troll stories. It’s also often said by the Tattle Mods to “keep it on Tattle” which is excellent advice when it comes to commenting on our Babs, means none of us can be accused of being a troll and makes it easier for us to know what she’s reading on here.
In a very anticlimactic ending to Babs “ohhh I’m going to miss them so much” she has done a single post about the kids going back to school. I was expecting a live vlog of them walking to school, as the kids say bye Babs falls to her knees outside the gate and starts wailing like the world is ending as they walk in. They are definitely back to school today, photo evidence of them in their shiny new uniforms and holding a board saying what they want to be when they’re older. Ethan wants to be a vet and Erin wants to be a “triple threat”. Well we know who has inherited Babs attention seeking genes. They do look sweet though, all kids do in their first day photos. Wonder if Babs and Erin had a fight over who was wearing which headband today...
Early predictions for the end of the school day are “I’ve missed them SO much”, “shooketh at how quiet it is”, “rabid to get them home and sniff their hair” and “excited to hear all about their days” (this last one applies more to the golden child). I would love to be able to see how the other mums at school treat her after the last 6 months. Babs won’t need to worry about social distancing, they’ll be treating her like she’s got the plague if they’ve seen even a fraction of what she’s done recently.
Babs replied to a YouTube commentator that she’s “having a little break for a while”, so all the predictions of an epic meltdown coming might be true. Who had “taking a break again” on their Babs bingo card? The woman has more meltdown breaks than a Kitkat. Still it’ll only be for maximum 3 days, any longer than that and she’ll get withdrawals from lack of attention and her ego will start to die off. Although I do hope she does take some time away to stop the epic disaster she is becoming and sort herself and mental health out but I’m doubtful and believe it’s mainly for attention. She’s like a middle aged, drunken Tinkerbell. She needs the Babettes love and adoration to live.
Waaaaaait! Stop the presses, she has been sent “pumpkin spice vibes” from a Babette via Twitter. All will magically be healed by the sexy pumpkin spice vibes and the nasty trolls (definitely not us, I picture trolls as neckbeard keyboard warrior types who continually post nasty stuff) will fall back hissing and be defeated by the glory that is pumpkin spice.
*insert dramatic ending music here* and that’s it for #34. Tune in next time when we will see if we get “BrummyMummy vs the trolls part 3”, discover how long her “break” lasts, whether she finally moves house and if Ste will finally get his courage up to leave her for a man he’s met on Grindr.
Babs Bonus Bits:
Another great song by the very talented @Missymoo92 https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-34-ste-excels-at-being-a-doormat.9014/post-2236915
Beautiful poem by @Liv (pamphlet of poetry coming soon!) Inspired by Babs post lockdown poem to the kids - https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-34-ste-excels-at-being-a-doormat.9014/post-2251651
end
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I have followed Babs since 'The Girl' and 'The Boy' were little. She filled a void, before I was presented with my own grandchild 
She used to be relatable and had morals. Now she is a loose cannon out of control, she has lost her moral compass, speeding towards a career suicide 
i hope you like my occasional input, as we watch and wait for further installments of Babs takes a nose dive!
new mugs with Halloween design coming soon my loves.