BPD, Bipolar and audiotory hallucinations.

[Clairer86]

Hi everyone, i was just wondering if anyone else diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar also get auditory hallucinations? If so, what do you do to control them? Because im getting so fed up and down with the constant voices i keep hearing. Its constant and i cant concentrate on anything else. I probably sound so ridiculous but i used to be able to ignore the voices- probably because ive always had them so i kinda thought it was normal, but at the moment ive got 2 voices arguing with each other and that isnt normal to me.

Please dont worry as im not in crisis or anything like that, i would just like some advice on how to deal with it. Luckily i have an amazing family who dont look at me funny when i suddenly start talking to myself- when im replying out loud to the voices.

Thank you to everyone who replies to me

 

[under the ivy]

I have BPD along with depression/anxiety and I sometimes have auditory hallucinations, especially if I’m in a depressed mood. Although for me I become very sensitive to noise and the slightest noise angers me and makes me anxious. It’s awful to live with so I feel you x

 

[Bob93]

Hi, although I have similar diagnosis, I do not experience these hallucinations so I can't advise on anything. But just wanted to ask if you are under a mental health team? The fact that you say it is now constant and means you can't concentrate on anything else does sound like it has got worse? And this is something that is important to discuss with the mental health team. If you're not currently under one as usually manage well (I'm not currently under one but we should always be able to go back under them if needed), this is definitely the type of thing a GP would refer you back for, in order for them to help you

I think the stress everyone is under with covid etc. is definitely having an effect on mental health conditions, unsurprisingly really since we can't do many of our usual things we enjoy! So definitely reach out to the GP or MH team if you can.

 

[Clairer86]

Hi everyone, sorry i havent posted in a couple of days. I will get down to replying to everyone in a moment.

Just another observation, but does it also annoy others when people diagnose others with personality disorder just because they dont like them? Ive seen it a lot on here. And also they really focus on the aspect of manipulation! When in actual fact my pyschatarist told me that maniupulation is a dated term, and doesnt necessarily mean it in the term that others think it does! Ive just read on another post that someone has diagnosed an influencer as having a personality disorder and said how people with it can control everyone around them and manipulate people in thinking we are good people!

Sorry for the rant, but we get so much of a bad press and things like that are just not helpful, neither is it true!!

 

[Clairer86]

Hi everyone,
I hope you are all doing okay. Im doing a bit better today- well ive managed to shower and dress and put make up on! But im still generally in a depressive state- this has been the case since early December! Honestly, all i want to feel is a happy medium!

So with me i was diagnosed with BPD and depression in February 2020- this was after i attempted suicide and was in hospital. Then at the beginning of June i attempted suicide again, ended up in a mental health unit etc etc. But they still didnt diagnose my bipolar then. But i did tell everyone-professionals about me hearing voices, but tbh and im still confused whether its voices or intrusive thoughts, or a mixture of both. I just remember every professional who i talked to always said " But are the voices telling you your jesus and that you can fly" Like that seemed to be the benchmark of voices!! I was prescribed Escitalopram and mirtazapine, but im also on Methadone due to my drug taking. Tbh i was using drugs up until the end of may/very begining of June, so a lot of professionals in my early stage ruled out bipolar because they said my possible 'mania' was due to taking drugs. Come mid September i still didnt feel great, so during an appointment with my psychiatrist she talked about the possibility of bipolar 2- but this was the first time anyone had mentioned bipolar being a possibility as all the other professionals had ruled it out initially. I had regular appointments with the mental health team and then in October my pyschiatrist diagnosed me as having duel diagnosis-BPD and Bipolar 2, and put me on lithium. When i see her this week i will defo tell her how ive been feeling, and thankyou for advising me to start a diary because i have been doing so, and ive put down in detail about the voices ive been hearing. I am completely clean off drugs now and im completely adhering to my treatment so there is no chance what im experiencing is linked to drugs.

Sorry for waffling on, and thank you all for reading. xxx

 

[Isa Drennan]

Hi everyone, sorry i havent posted in a couple of days. I will get down to replying to everyone in a moment.

Just another observation, but does it also annoy others when people diagnose others with personality disorder just because they dont like them? Ive seen it a lot on here. And also they really focus on the aspect of manipulation! When in actual fact my pyschatarist told me that maniupulation is a dated term, and doesnt necessarily mean it in the term that others think it does! Ive just read on another post that someone has diagnosed an influencer as having a personality disorder and said how people with it can control everyone around them and manipulate people in thinking we are good people!

Sorry for the rant, but we get so much of a bad press and things like that are just not helpful, neither is it true!!

Manipulation is a ridiculously stigmatising term. If your immediate reaction to someone expressing suicidal ideation, or self harm is that they’re trying to manipulate you, to me that says more about your responses than the person expressing insight into their thoughts/feelings.

I’ve met people with little/no mental health training who pick up on the term from nurses who’ve worked on the wards, I don’t believe manipulation occurs from anyone presenting in crisis. Personality disorder is turning into an umbrella term for any patient who presents as “challenging” “complex” or “difficult”. People don’t understand the damage it can cause to individuals who’ve been misdiagnosed!

 

[Clairer86]

Thank you both for replying to me.
Yes im with our local mental health team and im one of the lucky few who even gets to see my pyschiatrist quite regularly...Ive got a review meeting in 2 weeks. And my local team are pretty good to be honest, i will often go directly to them than my own GP-who frankly is absolutely awful and doesnt understand mental health and i dont feel like i can talk to my gp. The last time i talked to them, i was having some issues with my Mirtazapine side effects and he just said to stop taking them! Im glad i ignored his advice.

Im actually going through a depressed episode at the moment, so i think that might help explain why ive got this sudden increase in voices. And that makes sense with what you said about feeling stressed. Ive also noticed especially at night that i have the most ear splitting ringing type noise.

Im sorry you both also have mental health issues, but in a strange way its also kinda comforting that im not the only person going through this. And you are right, lockdown is having such a negative impact, and im one the lucky ones who has such a supportive and loving family, so i hate to think how people are who are also lonely.

Thank you for taking the time to reply xxx

 

[Isa Drennan]

Tinnitus can be a side effect of Mirtazapine.

Humming can be very helpful for auditory hallucinations, especially whilst going for a walk or run. Reading may help too, if you find the voices are loud, try reading backwards to “trick” your brain. Confide in your CMH team, partner etc when you’re finding the hallucinations particularly difficult. I really hope they settle down soon for you.

I would log everything you’ve explained here for your review, so hopefully the auditory hallucinations can be managed. Definitely keep your environment as quiet/stress free as possible.

 

[Clairer86]

Mirtazapine is such a strange drug for me. Dont get me wrong it helps me to sleep. But i have the most fucked up crazy dreams on it!!! I also feel so groggy the next day. But when i dont take it i find it so hard to sleep. Plus its made me put on 2 stone!

 

[Dimpz]

Hi : ) I was diagnosed with both BPD and Bipolar but recently had the bipolar diagnosis removed. I do hear a single voice but professionals have always just told me my experiences are intrusive thoughts rather than hallucinations so I'm not sure!

Sorry I couldn't be much help, if you have a review meeting soon maybe suggest upping your dosage of antipsychotic? Sorry if this is a bit intrusive but have you ever been on a depot for medication? I had it last year and it definitely helped my mental health a lot more.

I do find stress is a big trigger and the lockdown is causing stress with so many people at the moment. I'm new to Tattle so I don't know if I have the PM option yet but if I do then you're more than welcome to message me privately.

 

[Clairer86]

Hi : ) I was diagnosed with both BPD and Bipolar but recently had the bipolar diagnosis removed. I do hear a single voice but professionals have always just told me my experiences are intrusive thoughts rather than hallucinations so I'm not sure!

Sorry I couldn't be much help, if you have a review meeting soon maybe suggest upping your dosage of antipsychotic? Sorry if this is a bit intrusive but have you ever been on a depot for medication? I had it last year and it definitely helped my mental health a lot more.

I do find stress is a big trigger and the lockdown is causing stress with so many people at the moment. I'm new to Tattle so I don't know if I have the PM option yet but if I do then you're more than welcome to message me privately.

Im glad you have mentioned the intrusive thoughts because thats what i thought i had and i really struggled with accepting it was hallucinations- and thats what i thought was just 'normal' for me. I got diagnosed with BPD first, and only recently they have added the Bipolar aspect. And it felt like i had to reassess everything i thought i knew about myself and my diagnosis. Because i could identify with the BPD checklist and i could identify with it, but when they added bipolar it felt like i had to get to know myself all over again.
How do you feel about them removing your Bipolar diagnosis? I have read quite abit about pyschs getting the BPD and Bipolar diagnosis mixed up and its common to misdiagnose someone as BPD first and then change it to bipolar-and vice versa. I havent had a depot, but i will ask her about it at my next meeting. xxx

 

[1001 others]

Thank you both for replying to me.
Yes im with our local mental health team and im one of the lucky few who even gets to see my pyschiatrist quite regularly...Ive got a review meeting in 2 weeks. And my local team are pretty good to be honest, i will often go directly to them than my own GP-who frankly is absolutely awful and doesnt understand mental health and i dont feel like i can talk to my gp. The last time i talked to them, i was having some issues with my Mirtazapine side effects and he just said to stop taking them! Im glad i ignored his advice.

Im actually going through a depressed episode at the moment, so i think that might help explain why ive got this sudden increase in voices. And that makes sense with what you said about feeling stressed. Ive also noticed especially at night that i have the most ear splitting ringing type noise.

Im sorry you both also have mental health issues, but in a strange way its also kinda comforting that im not the only person going through this. And you are right, lockdown is having such a negative impact, and im one the lucky ones who has such a supportive and loving family, so i hate to think how people are who are also lonely.

Thank you for taking the time to reply xxx

Is the ear splitting ringing noise tinnitus? I have that (it's awful!!) along with severe hearing loss ... sometimes it's as if someone has blown a really loud whistle which slowly fades ... very slowly. It can be so severe that it literally knocks me off balance. Other times it can sound like a train coming through a tunnel and disappear as quickly as it came on. And it quite often happens at night. Apparently it's linked to anxiety and depression and there is no cure ... although some medications are known to help with it. Just thought I'd mention this as it your psychiatrist might be able to prescribe something that can help with this particular issue.

 

[under the ivy]

Hi everyone,
I hope you are all doing okay. Im doing a bit better today- well ive managed to shower and dress and put make up on! But im still generally in a depressive state- this has been the case since early December! Honestly, all i want to feel is a happy medium!

So with me i was diagnosed with BPD and depression in February 2020- this was after i attempted suicide and was in hospital. Then at the beginning of June i attempted suicide again, ended up in a mental health unit etc etc. But they still didnt diagnose my bipolar then. But i did tell everyone-professionals about me hearing voices, but tbh and im still confused whether its voices or intrusive thoughts, or a mixture of both. I just remember every professional who i talked to always said " But are the voices telling you your jesus and that you can fly" Like that seemed to be the benchmark of voices!! I was prescribed Escitalopram and mirtazapine, but im also on Methadone due to my drug taking. Tbh i was using drugs up until the end of may/very begining of June, so a lot of professionals in my early stage ruled out bipolar because they said my possible 'mania' was due to taking drugs. Come mid September i still didnt feel great, so during an appointment with my psychiatrist she talked about the possibility of bipolar 2- but this was the first time anyone had mentioned bipolar being a possibility as all the other professionals had ruled it out initially. I had regular appointments with the mental health team and then in October my pyschiatrist diagnosed me as having duel diagnosis-BPD and Bipolar 2, and put me on lithium. When i see her this week i will defo tell her how ive been feeling, and thankyou for advising me to start a diary because i have been doing so, and ive put down in detail about the voices ive been hearing. I am completely clean off drugs now and im completely adhering to my treatment so there is no chance what im experiencing is linked to drugs.

Sorry for waffling on, and thank you all for reading. xxx

I have been on Mirtazapine before & it made me feel spaced out all of the time. So they worked in the sense that I wasn’t depressed, but I couldn’t function as I felt as though I was tripping. Can’t win!

Take care x

 

[Bellaboonew12]

Hello, can I ask how you all got your diagnosis? I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, some ocd and disordered eating over the years all related to stressful times but following my recent relationship breakdown I've really had to dig deep within myself and work out why I can't handle things others seem to be able to without extreme swings / extreme depression and anxiety and so much anger. My ex partner has left again because he says I'm too emotionally volatile, I'm up and down and he bares the brunt of my moods, I can often become quite nasty to him (with words) and can flip moods like the click of a switch and he said he never knows what I'll be like on a day to day basis. The resentment I felt for him not being able to give me security in the relationship was a major trigger as was my impulsive drinking and smoking (once a week), I feel like I'm permanently in fight or flight and it takes the smallest thing to make me have a huge adrenaline reaction that I can't control. I was looking at self help for heart break and came across bpd last night, every single symptom bar disassociation was me to a tea!!! It was like a light bulb moment. I am due to start councelling next week (just for the relationship breakdown) but I wondered does a GP need to make the diagnosis and if so what's the benefits of having that if you are 100 % sure it's what you're dealing with? Does anyone manage the condition naturally? With healthy eating and relaxation etc? What works best? I'm currently not eating more than 4 slices of cheese a day and I'm feeling worse than ever so I know I need to start somewhere quick. Just knowing there might be a reason and having an awareness of why I feel like this has helped me but I don't know where to start now making myself better.

 

[Dimpz]

Im glad you have mentioned the intrusive thoughts because thats what i thought i had and i really struggled with accepting it was hallucinations- and thats what i thought was just 'normal' for me. I got diagnosed with BPD first, and only recently they have added the Bipolar aspect. And it felt like i had to reassess everything i thought i knew about myself and my diagnosis. Because i could identify with the BPD checklist and i could identify with it, but when they added bipolar it felt like i had to get to know myself all over again.
How do you feel about them removing your Bipolar diagnosis? I have read quite abit about pyschs getting the BPD and Bipolar diagnosis mixed up and its common to misdiagnose someone as BPD first and then change it to bipolar-and vice versa. I havent had a depot, but i will ask her about it at my next meeting. xxx

Yeah I've read a lot about misdiagnosis between BPD and Bipolar. In all honesty I think I have both, I just think I have type 2 rather than my initial type 1. Whilst, like you, I can identify with all things BPD, it doesn't explain my weeks/months of low depressed mood that seems to be on a constant loop. Everything I've read about BPD says the mood swings are a lot more frequent.

Did professionals also tell you they were intrusive thoughts to begin with? Mine are very much negative voices towards myself, which I've been told are a by product of low self esteem rather than psychosis. I think a lot of the time it just depends on the opinion of the particular psychiatrist at the time.

I found the depot had so many pros. You didn't need to remember to take medication every day and it really eased my symptoms. However I should warn you that I got some unpleasant side effects from it! Which is why I stopped having the injection.

 

[coconochanel]

What medication are you on if you dont mind me asking?

 

[MyLittlePony25]

Hey, I have a diagnosis of EUPD along with Generalised and Social anxiety. When I was really unwell I heard screaming and a little girls voice and I saw bugs. I was in hospital for a long time but I’m stable now, I would put a lot of that down to my medication.
do be honest with your team and reach out to out of hours services when you need. Maybe you need a med review? Does anything help distract you from the hallucinations? Could you get prescribed some PRN medication to help when things are really tough?

 

[1001 others]

Tinnitus can be a side effect of Mirtazapine.

Humming can be very helpful for auditory hallucinations, especially whilst going for a walk or run. Reading may help too, if you find the voices are loud, try reading backwards to “trick” your brain. Confide in your CMH team, partner etc when you’re finding the hallucinations particularly difficult. I really hope they settle down soon for you.

I would log everything you’ve explained here for your review, so hopefully the auditory hallucinations can be managed. Definitely keep your environment as quiet/stress free as possible.

This is a great suggestion. Even go further by keeping a diary throughout the day of how you're feeling at certain times, what you've been doing leading up to them, and eating, etc. A pattern will soon form which will aid both you and your health professional greatly.

 

[tigerlilly_xx]

Hello, can I ask how you all got your diagnosis? I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, some ocd and disordered eating over the years all related to stressful times but following my recent relationship breakdown I've really had to dig deep within myself and work out why I can't handle things others seem to be able to without extreme swings / extreme depression and anxiety and so much anger. My ex partner has left again because he says I'm too emotionally volatile, I'm up and down and he bares the brunt of my moods, I can often become quite nasty to him (with words) and can flip moods like the click of a switch and he said he never knows what I'll be like on a day to day basis. The resentment I felt for him not being able to give me security in the relationship was a major trigger as was my impulsive drinking and smoking (once a week), I feel like I'm permanently in fight or flight and it takes the smallest thing to make me have a huge adrenaline reaction that I can't control. I was looking at self help for heart break and came across bpd last night, every single symptom bar disassociation was me to a tea!!! It was like a light bulb moment. I am due to start councelling next week (just for the relationship breakdown) but I wondered does a GP need to make the diagnosis and if so what's the benefits of having that if you are 100 % sure it's what you're dealing with? Does anyone manage the condition naturally? With healthy eating and relaxation etc? What works best? I'm currently not eating more than 4 slices of cheese a day and I'm feeling worse than ever so I know I need to start somewhere quick. Just knowing there might be a reason and having an awareness of why I feel like this has helped me but I don't know where to start now making myself better.

I’m unmediated atm and honestly I struggle a lot, unmediated due to my fear of tablets from past medical trauma I mange it with weed.
My gp refereed me to a mental health place and it went from there, it did take a long long while, I didn’t go in there saying “I think I’m bpd” I went in with a list of things about myself, situation I’ve struggled with in the past, I learnt my triggers based off my trauma, and basically poured and explained everything and then she turned around and told me that she thinks it’s bpd. I agreed, told her that I’ve kinda known all along deep down.

I honestly think when you become more self aware of being mentally I’ll things change a lot. I thought I was just different ect but when I learnt about bpd everything clicked, everything I felt, was because of the bpd.

I have a strict morning routine that I HAVE to follow and tick off otherwise it throws me off.

You say your eating habits are about shite rn, is that maybe because your a little stressed that you might be bpd?

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Hi everyone, sorry i havent posted in a couple of days. I will get down to replying to everyone in a moment.

Just another observation, but does it also annoy others when people diagnose others with personality disorder just because they dont like them? Ive seen it a lot on here. And also they really focus on the aspect of manipulation! When in actual fact my pyschatarist told me that maniupulation is a dated term, and doesnt necessarily mean it in the term that others think it does! Ive just read on another post that someone has diagnosed an influencer as having a personality disorder and said how people with it can control everyone around them and manipulate people in thinking we are good people!

Sorry for the rant, but we get so much of a bad press and things like that are just not helpful, neither is it true!!

Yes!! Really frustrates me