Binge eating disorder

[Welsh1]

I also suffer with this and have done for years.
It can be very mentally draining just thinking about food constantly. It's also not well publicised, almost unheard of I would imagine to others. Its an eating disorder and there is help out there. I found myself feeling utterly awful after binging, not so much ashamed but I would feel so lethargic. I ended up doing a lot of research about calorie deficits etc and I actually haven't binged in 6 weeks now. I feel like I just got to a point where I decided to choose myself rather than choose food. I feel so much better with so much more energy. For me it was a case of, I could either let it consume me and possibly end up killing me one day or I could fight the battle against it.
As for your comment 'he will realise how big I actually am', he is your husband, he sees you every day, he sees what you look like & I'm sure he loves you just the way you are. Reach out to him, you'll feel better.

 

[Emmy44]

Does anyone else suffer from binge eating disorder? It’s taking over my life, I’m really struggling. I don’t want to talk to my husband about it incase he starts to realise how big I actually am, and will leave me. (He is the least judgemental person, but I have major insecurities).

does anyone have any tips of how to get over it? It’s definitely become harder in lockdown, there’s nothing else to do but eat even when I don’t have ‘bad’ food at home, I just go to the shop and buy it. Help please!!

 

[Chicken_soup]

Sooo decided today will be the day I actually try and control my bingeing which has been especially bad during lockdown!

I've also realised that it just does not improve my mood, and it leaves me feeling drained and insecure as I've piled on the weight recently

 

[Louise123]

I can relate so much... I’ve always used food as a comfort and lockdown has been particularly bad in terms of binge eating as it’s a mixture of stress and boredom. I used to always do our weekly food shop and would buy extra sweets/chocolate etc and stuff them into my handbag/pockets etc once I’d paid so that my husband wouldn’t see them. I’d pay for them separately so they wouldn’t be on the receipt. Then I’d binge eat while my husband was in another room... I’m so ashamed of myself as I’ve never told anyone this and it seems so ridiculous when I read this back!

A few weeks ago, my husband and I talked about eating healthier as we’d love to start a family so I’m using this as motivation to stick to a healthy diet and stop snacking. I feel like going cold turkey is the only way I can overcome this. I had a chat with my husband and although I didn’t tell him about binge/secret eating, I have asked him to do the weekly food shop so I don’t give into temptation. we started this 2 weeks ago and I haven't binged at all in that time. Hoping this continues!

I would definitely reach out to your husband... he loves you and will be super supportive xx

Please don’t ever feel ashamed of yourself, you’re not a bad person because you’ve wanted to comfort yourself. I hope you enjoy making more healthy choices, take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself x

 

[Koakes]

I can relate to this thread so much. I've always used food as a comfort.

I found for myself my binges are worse when I am super restrictive and don't allow myself to have what it is I am wanting or craving. I know this method doesn't work for everyone, but for me it's easier to just have a small portion of something rather then nothing and then later on eating until I am physically sick.

 

[Chicken_soup]

I'm following this thread as I have struggled with binge eating throughout my early twenties, especially as a student, using takeaway and junk food to deal with my feelings.
I am conscious that this is a bad habit, however during lockdown, I have simply lost the motivation to even try and control my binges. I have moved back with family at the moment, and when I do a food shop I will pick up specific binge foods to snack on later, I will then put all evidence wrappers etc in a bag and take it out to a public bin so all very secretive, not sure if anyone else here does the same?
I'm very overweight at the minute and this is due to my binge eating tendancies, I will have 'good days' of eating and then if I have a sweet thing I will see this as ruined and will binge later on.
I will keep following this thread as I'm interested to hear coping mechanisms, definitely the longer I go without a binge the more likely I am to carry on.
I think during lockdown it has been especially easy to over eat.

I also suffer with this and have done for years.
It can be very mentally draining just thinking about food constantly. It's also not well publicised, almost unheard of I would imagine to others. Its an eating disorder and there is help out there. I found myself feeling utterly awful after binging, not so much ashamed but I would feel so lethargic. I ended up doing a lot of research about calorie deficits etc and I actually haven't binged in 6 weeks now. I feel like I just got to a point where I decided to choose myself rather than choose food. I feel so much better with so much more energy. For me it was a case of, I could either let it consume me and possibly end up killing me one day or I could fight the battle against it.
As for your comment 'he will realise how big I actually am', he is your husband, he sees you every day, he sees what you look like & I'm sure he loves you just the way you are. Reach out to him, you'll feel better.

What you've said about deciding to choose yourself over food, is such a powerful statement and one which has actually really made me feel inspired, thank you

 

[Pundertaker]

Please talk to your doctor. You don't have to keep doing this alone.

I am under the care of an eating disorder team and therapy is helping a lot. It took a few years to get here as it's harder with BED, but beforehand I saw a private ED therapist who took me as far as she could at the time, and I also gave up dieting and restriction. This resulted in weight gain initially (which is scary) but that evened out pretty quickly, and what it really helped me to do was relax more around food. It's really important to separate ED recovery from weight loss as they don't always go hand in hand.

BED is a multi-faceted disorder and there's (sadly) no easy fix. It's a long road but I'm a few years down the line and so much better than I was. I've spent a long time analysing my relationship with food, including eating habits in childhood and the way my family approached food/eating when I was younger. In ED therapy we learn to do something called "urge surfing" which is where you analyse your urge to eat and try to separate the components, understanding without acting. I am working on this at present. After years of dieting and analysing everything that goes into my mouth, focusing on food in any way is hard for me. But disconnection is not the answer, as we all need food to survive.

My partner knows and is really supportive. I didn't expect him to be--I thought he'd be disgusted--and I'm still getting used to being able to talk about it.

Please don't feel like this is your fault. Somewhere along the line, you picked up food as a coping mechanism for managing emotions, because it is what was available to you at the time. It will take time to dismantle this but it can be done.

 

[Jlau]

I can relate so much... I’ve always used food as a comfort and lockdown has been particularly bad in terms of binge eating as it’s a mixture of stress and boredom. I used to always do our weekly food shop and would buy extra sweets/chocolate etc and stuff them into my handbag/pockets etc once I’d paid so that my husband wouldn’t see them. I’d pay for them separately so they wouldn’t be on the receipt. Then I’d binge eat while my husband was in another room... I’m so ashamed of myself as I’ve never told anyone this and it seems so ridiculous when I read this back!

A few weeks ago, my husband and I talked about eating healthier as we’d love to start a family so I’m using this as motivation to stick to a healthy diet and stop snacking. I feel like going cold turkey is the only way I can overcome this. I had a chat with my husband and although I didn’t tell him about binge/secret eating, I have asked him to do the weekly food shop so I don’t give into temptation. we started this 2 weeks ago and I haven't binged at all in that time. Hoping this continues!

I would definitely reach out to your husband... he loves you and will be super supportive xx

 

[LittleMy]

I’ve been doing it since I was a preteen. I have major issues with my weight due to demeaning comments from family members and poor mental health. I’ve been up and down like a yo-yo weight wise all of my teenage and adult life. I know I’m an emotional eater, I really have to be in a positive mind frame to stop bingeing but as you say, lockdown has made it so difficult when there is little else to do and so much stress. I’m worse on days where my mood is in the pits, I just gorge on junk and then regret it and feel sickened later and if there’s none I always get some more. I can really sympathise with you as it’s something I wish I could get control over. Just wanted to let you know, you’re not alone.

 

[Emmy44]

I am pretty bad , try to think as you are about to eat it how it makes you feel after , I find if I can go 2 days without binging it becomes easier. I make a sugar free jelly’s with fruit in. What do you binge on x

Literally anything and everything. For example, I made spaghetti Bolognese tonight, half for me half for my husband. He left for work and I was straight back in the kitchen making another portion that could’ve fed a family of 4. If we have any chocolate, I’ll have it all in one sitting, any chips- I’ll have the whole bag... there’s nothing I can’t binge on at this point

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food, I tend to comfort eat when I am trying to deal with problems. One of my worst habits is to snack in the early hours of the morning. I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror these days, my reflection does not please me at all - I am being tactful of course.
I just wish I could find a more constructive way to deal with stress and anxiety.

 

[amyamyamyamyamyamyamyamy]

Thank you to everyone so far for sharing. I suffered from this from my late teens - early twenties. I’m 27 now and would say my relationship with food is as healthy as it has ever been, but it’s taken a lot of unlearning. My binging started due to restriction, I would restrict calories for the week and then wait until the weekend and I would be completely out of control. I would eat until I felt sick and hide it from everybody. Eventually I actually started binging more than restricting and it started showing on my body. Food became this magical stuff that I wasn’t allowed and it made it all the more enticing, I would literally dream of food and think of it ALL DAY.
I started working on it when my sister went into an ED unit with anorexia and I realised how destructive it all was. I didn’t want my life to be consumed by food and food thoughts and shame! I did it on my own mostly by allowing myself to eat what I wanted whenever I wanted, I would eat a chocolate bar and then say to myself ‘that was nice, you can have another one or have one tomorrow or whenever you want’. I found that just allowing myself to eat what I wanted led to all the magic being removed and eventually I started listening to hunger/fullness signals and began focusing on a gentle nutrition. I did gain weight but it evens out and I learnt to live with it, it’s so so worth it.
I guess I just wanted to say to you all that it’s possible to recover from this and I wish everybody so much luck with it. I know ED support is patchy but it is a recognised disorder and GPs should be able to help. Laura Thomas has some great resources and her podcast ‘don’t salt my game’ really helped me to unlearn the damaging diet bullshit that led to the binging.

 

[Lhm]

You are not alone, I'm struggling too after having my baby before lockdown and trying to go back to Slimming World, and coming to the realisation that SW actually fuels my ED.I quit SW and have read this book and am slowly trying to implement it.Perhaps give it a read (I listened on Audible- good option if you don't want to be seen reading it).She also has a new book out more workbook style.Could be worth a look.Sending love.xx

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I tend to bing when I get in from work because I’m so hungry. I’ll have soup for my lunch and snack on fruit and low cal things like popcorn. But If I go to the supermarket on the way home, I’ll buy chocolate biscuits or cookies and stuff myself. I’m probably not eating enough at work, but I’m sat at a desk all day, I try and watch what I eat, but then ruin it with bingeing.

 

[Holidaybobs]

I have this and for me the only way I can conquer it is going cold turkey. I’ve been shocking with it since lockdown as there’s nothing to do so I just eat. I’ll order a takeaway I don’t want just for something to do. Then I’ll eat it all and hate myself afterwards. I’ve decided to go cold turkey again with lent starting, hoping it works as it has done in the past.

I wouldn’t worry too much as I think lockdown is getting to us all in one way or another. As others have said, your husband loves you and will be supportive

 

[Lady Macbeth]

To be honest, I think most women binge from time to time. When I want to binge - I ask myself why and then I talk myself off the ledge..

 

[Louise123]

I can relate to this thread so much. I've always used food as a comfort.

I found for myself my binges are worse when I am super restrictive and don't allow myself to have what it is I am wanting or craving. I know this method doesn't work for everyone, but for me it's easier to just have a small portion of something rather then nothing and then later on eating until I am physically sick.

This is the hardest thing to try and be able to do. To allow yourself something like chocolate and enjoy it and then not let this lead to bingeing because you feel like you’ve failed. I think we make the mistake of splitting foods into good and bad. We need to have a relationship with food that allows us to enjoy all types of food and then not lead us to binging because we feel stressed because we’ve eaten something ‘bad’ like chocolates etc....hope this makes sense!

 

[Chi4]

I am pretty bad , try to think as you are about to eat it how it makes you feel after , I find if I can go 2 days without binging it becomes easier. I make a sugar free jelly’s with fruit in. What do you binge on x

 

[Holidaybobs]

I know what you mean about cold turkey ! It does help but I find after a few weeks I slip back slowly without even realising it . Then will try and pull myself out of it again!

Yes, I know what you mean, I’ve done that a few times. I just have to give myself a word to and say, if you eat that it’ll make you feel worse so what’s the point.

 

[Chi4]

I have this and for me the only way I can conquer it is going cold turkey. I’ve been shocking with it since lockdown as there’s nothing to do so I just eat. I’ll order a takeaway I don’t want just for something to do. Then I’ll eat it all and hate myself afterwards. I’ve decided to go cold turkey again with lent starting, hoping it works as it has done in the past.

I wouldn’t worry too much as I think lockdown is getting to us all in one way or another. As others have said, your husband loves you and will be supportive

I know what you mean about cold turkey ! It does help but I find after a few weeks I slip back slowly without even realising it . Then will try and pull myself out of it again!