Being a mum/feeling lonely

[derbyshiregirl]

Hi guys,

I’m a mum to a 17 month old with a husband who works long shifts. I work part time and have the sort of job where as I’m doing one job I have another three jobs dumped on my desk.

On my days off/evenings I’m usually knackered so just want to veg out but end up stuck in the living room while my kid plays and Mr Tumble is on the telly. I pray for bedtime as awful as that sounds. The grandparents have my kid while I’m at work so don’t really feel like I can ask them to have her even more just so I get a bit of me time.

I just feel like I’m going through the motions sometimes and I think I just wanted to see if anyone else feels the same... sorry if I sound ungrateful, I’m really not x

 

[watermelon sugar]

Oh you’re not ungrateful I feel the exact same! I have a 20 month old and he’s wild, my partner works 6 days a week long hours and when he is home I just want to go to bed! I’m sure the grandparents wouldn’t mind having them maybe over night or of an evening sometimes so you can just have time to re energise and relax?

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Presumably your husband gets days off? Can you not work out a way of sharing the childcare with him so that you can have a bit of free time? Even if it’s just a few hours over a weekend or whatever so that you know you have a bit of time for yourself? I don’t think it’s fair to expect the grandparents to look after your child anymore than they are already personally- they are already providing you with free childcare to enable you both to go to work.

You need to sort this out between you & your husband- your child is a shared responsibility and it’s not fair if you are expected to work part time, look after the house, look after the child etc without any kind of break.

being a parent is tough at times - we have all felt it I promise but you need the support from your husband to get some balance back.

 

[Definitelyme]

Would putting your child in childcare be an option at all? You could perhaps do this while you work and then grandparents could do a day/half day on your days off so you have time to do whatever you need (you time, admin stuff, whatever it may be). If not, you should ask them even for a one off extra time so you can have a day to breathe. They won’t say yes if they don’t want to, and IME grandparents bloody love having extra time with the kids and would probably be delighted to help out.

It’s hard being in that seemingly never ending routine at times. I find having things planned to work towards helps break up the monotony (for me that would be things like going away to the caravan, planning for the kids’ birthdays, planning for Christmas etc, even things like having a play date planned for one day of a week, knowing I’m going to go to this park on this day).

And any parent who says they’ve never prayed for bedtime is a dirty liar