StewPots
VIP Member
My heart goes out to Kate and her children - it must’ve been awful these past years for all of them. However, there will be relief. My Dad was a lot older than he was in 2020, but like Derek caught Covid early on (despite being really careful as both he and my stepmum were high risk). They hadn’t been out in around 4 weeks but we think it came in on their online grocery shopping but WFK.
Anyway, at first they didn’t think Covid, just a run of the mill respiratory infection as they both got them frequently. Stepmum has lung issues, regularly in hospital etc and Dad had lots of things going on included suspected bowel cancer. They ring the GP, who was concerned it was something more so he said he’d visit (they lived in a very small town in Scotland and were regulars at the GP, as well as Dad playing golf with him too
) so the GP goes round. At this point both had been in bed for 2/3 days, not eating etc. Thank GOD for that GP because he came in, took one look at them both and called an ambulance. Both were blue lighted to Inverness (fucking MILES from where they were as the town is so rural ) and put into isolation and tested. It was night so my Dad left me this gasping message saying he loved me and nothing else. I had no clue it was going on until I got hold of the hospital the next day and they confirmed both were there.
It was Covid and they were both in hospital for 7 weeks. I thought both would die.
They made it out - my Stepmum did brilliantly which was surprising as out the two, she was the worst off health wise for various things but Dad was a different matter.
He was left with long Covid and a lung issue called bronciostasis (spelled wrong I haven’t written that down in a long while) as well as other shit and was on oxygen 24/7 - they installed a thing in his home next to his bed. Honestly thought he would die very soon. 18 months he battled on for, but what a shitty time it was. He couldn’t leave the house, save the odd drive to the harbour with his mates carting an oxygen tank. No more of his beloved golf. Couldn’t eat his favourite foods. Couldn’t do his photography.
But he’d signed a DNR whilst in Hospital, which I respected him for and plan for myself. I’m currently for resus (I was in hospital during Covid for my Tietzes and the Drs came round with forms for everyone, even though I was in my 30s which was so fucking weird) but eventually I’ll have enough of this bollocks later in life so I don’t want to be resuscitated and my body in a worse state than before, unable to live my life.
Anyway….18 months later, when he was returning from the bathroom, he just dropped down dead. My stepmum said he was gone before he hit the floor, she could see it in his eyes. The paramedics came anyway, stepmum explained the DNR. It was awful for her and seeing the man she loved die like that in front of her was traumatising.
Obviously I was devastated, as they lived very far away and due to travel restrictions I couldn’t go up to see them but luckily they had visited me in the feb just weeks before Covid arrived in the UK and that last hug with my Dad I will treasure forever. But in all honesty, as an ex- NHS and residential home HCA, I was relieved it was over for him. My Dad was a shell of a man after Covid and it wasn’t right and he hated it. Repeat infections, dry mouth from oxygen, taking morphine that made him sick (I’m on oxycodone for my chest pain after I switched for the same reason) but most of all he couldn’t walk and my Dad always walked. Loved the hills round where they lived. So to have that all taken away was awful for him.
His death bought peace and in a way to all of us who cared for and about him too - seeing him suffer everyday was very distressing for my stepmum. I FaceTimed him regularly and just to see the weight loss, hear his once strong voice literally disappear, his struggle for breath between words…heartbreaking.
I’ve never written it all down like that online before and it feels cathartic to do so, but I have tears in my eyes remembering what he went through, even though he died a while ago now. So I’ll sign off for now.
RIP Dad, and RIP Derek. I hope you too are also at peace now it’s over and sending love to Kate and the kids.
Anyway, at first they didn’t think Covid, just a run of the mill respiratory infection as they both got them frequently. Stepmum has lung issues, regularly in hospital etc and Dad had lots of things going on included suspected bowel cancer. They ring the GP, who was concerned it was something more so he said he’d visit (they lived in a very small town in Scotland and were regulars at the GP, as well as Dad playing golf with him too
) so the GP goes round. At this point both had been in bed for 2/3 days, not eating etc. Thank GOD for that GP because he came in, took one look at them both and called an ambulance. Both were blue lighted to Inverness (fucking MILES from where they were as the town is so rural ) and put into isolation and tested. It was night so my Dad left me this gasping message saying he loved me and nothing else. I had no clue it was going on until I got hold of the hospital the next day and they confirmed both were there.It was Covid and they were both in hospital for 7 weeks. I thought both would die.
They made it out - my Stepmum did brilliantly which was surprising as out the two, she was the worst off health wise for various things but Dad was a different matter.
He was left with long Covid and a lung issue called bronciostasis (spelled wrong I haven’t written that down in a long while) as well as other shit and was on oxygen 24/7 - they installed a thing in his home next to his bed. Honestly thought he would die very soon. 18 months he battled on for, but what a shitty time it was. He couldn’t leave the house, save the odd drive to the harbour with his mates carting an oxygen tank. No more of his beloved golf. Couldn’t eat his favourite foods. Couldn’t do his photography.
But he’d signed a DNR whilst in Hospital, which I respected him for and plan for myself. I’m currently for resus (I was in hospital during Covid for my Tietzes and the Drs came round with forms for everyone, even though I was in my 30s which was so fucking weird) but eventually I’ll have enough of this bollocks later in life so I don’t want to be resuscitated and my body in a worse state than before, unable to live my life.
Anyway….18 months later, when he was returning from the bathroom, he just dropped down dead. My stepmum said he was gone before he hit the floor, she could see it in his eyes. The paramedics came anyway, stepmum explained the DNR. It was awful for her and seeing the man she loved die like that in front of her was traumatising.
Obviously I was devastated, as they lived very far away and due to travel restrictions I couldn’t go up to see them but luckily they had visited me in the feb just weeks before Covid arrived in the UK and that last hug with my Dad I will treasure forever. But in all honesty, as an ex- NHS and residential home HCA, I was relieved it was over for him. My Dad was a shell of a man after Covid and it wasn’t right and he hated it. Repeat infections, dry mouth from oxygen, taking morphine that made him sick (I’m on oxycodone for my chest pain after I switched for the same reason) but most of all he couldn’t walk and my Dad always walked. Loved the hills round where they lived. So to have that all taken away was awful for him.
His death bought peace and in a way to all of us who cared for and about him too - seeing him suffer everyday was very distressing for my stepmum. I FaceTimed him regularly and just to see the weight loss, hear his once strong voice literally disappear, his struggle for breath between words…heartbreaking.
I’ve never written it all down like that online before and it feels cathartic to do so, but I have tears in my eyes remembering what he went through, even though he died a while ago now. So I’ll sign off for now.
RIP Dad, and RIP Derek. I hope you too are also at peace now it’s over and sending love to Kate and the kids.
please?
