Mother Pukka #3 I think we might be remarkable

[Intriguedfromafar]

Been following this thread for a while quietly as
I know two people who dated stripey on hinge. Let’s just say this man is creeeeepy to the highest. Love bombs, desperate to be serious quickly. Just major red flags. He also messaged one of them fairly recently with a miss you type message. I don’t know Anna other than one of the girls said he was now dating a dj so we looked it up.
Finding it very amusing as both girls have almost identical messages from him so I wonder if Anna has this too but was just the one who fell for it.
He made it to the ‘creep board’ PowerPoint when we recapped last years tragic dates

 

[harveydean]

Going on that podcast is the middle class way of screaming across the housing estate, “Yaaa nevaaa made me cum anyway ya twat!!!”

 

[missbct]

I’ll tell you what kind of impact my ex introducing his new partner after six weeks (and 4 months after we split) and insisting our son slept at hers from then on, had on my son.

He went from coping with our split to being horrendously confused as to where he was, where he was supposed to sleep, being shut in a unfamiliar room in an unfamiliar house, from bed sharing with his dad to his dad refusing to comfort him, to having to compete with two older children he didn’t know, to being confused as to whether he should like his ‘new stepmum’ and what that meant in regards to how he felt towards me, to hating going to his dads.

His anxiety levels shot up, he acted out constantly around me because he was afraid I was going to do the same thing, he kept saying he wanted me and daddy to get back together, he said he loved his new stepmum as much as me because she bought him toys I wouldn’t (ugh) and then when his dad started telling him he could live with them in this new blended family he was even more confused as dad never took part in family life before.

It took nearly a year of constant reinforcement to our son and being the bigger person (whilst my ex abused me over email, the new partner trolled me online and they both made my life a misery) before my son overcame the changes.

When I met my now partner I waited 6 months before I introduced him. I needed to be 100% sure I was sure about the relationship and that my son would cope with the change. Thankfully he did, and he adores my partner. We’ve been together for over a year and no rushed engagement and cringe posting needed!
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What I meant to say was that Anna may well have disengaged from her marriage, but I can bet you the kids didn’t. To split is one thing, to divorce is another, but to introduce and blend families within a fucking year borders on insanity and is in no way beneficial for the children. They need time to process the divorce, to find their place, to grief for the family unit, to feel comfortable in their own home after so many changes. To uproot them and insist they share with another family 50% of the time just because you’ve fallen in love in record quick time is shockingly bad parenting.

 

[Wolf359]

I always say that if I ever split from DH I wouldn’t bother getting a new husband. Maybe I’d have a boyfriend or a FWB situation. But I’d never live with a man again. I’d never cook, clean, wash another man’s pants, share finances, compromise on what colour to paint the bedroom or what tiles to put in the hallway, etc. Fuck that.

 

[FrannyGallops]

This. Is. Fucking. Amazing! a total car crash waiting to happen. If it weren’t for the poor kids, I’d be rubbing my hands together with glee (I mean, I am a little, ngl). So the ink is barely dry on the divorce papers, she’s found her person, is engaged and looking for a house they can blend families in, AND has had a sexual awakening?

Does she ever just think to keep her mouth shut?

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I unfollowed Anna when she got divorced and really did try her podcast. I just didn’t feel it sat right, so was surprised to read she is engaged again. I would think after being in a long marriage you’d want to rediscover yourself a bit

Yes love, she’s now Anna Whitehouse, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs.

 

[Windowtothewall]

Have been a lurker here for a while but had to comment on this car crash. No emotionally intelligent, self respecting man in his 30s/40s is going to jump into a marriage with someone recently divorced with kids.He must be desperate to be married, as is she - or they'd have been happy to take their time before rushing into it. They both love the idea of 'sticking it to society' but society will stop caring at some point and they'll be stuck with each other. She talks about how she knows herself better at 43, and it's like but you don't know yourself without a man! And you also don't know him because you've never seen him with your girls or seen him outside of exciting date mode. Being 43 means you learn to be measured and differentiate between limerance and lasting love.

On a more sinister note my husband is a police officer who's seen his share of sexual and domestic abuse maintains that men who very quickly marry women with young daughters can be predators. Because they know the mother is so eager to be married, she's likely to turn a blind eye or have poor judgement. Even if they're not that scummy, it shows a lack of boundaries for the daughter's comfort and safety - you want to get to know them, have them be comfortable with you before presenting as step dad. They're kids, everything is exciting, it's a parent's job to manage the risks for them. She's so blinded by the lifestyle she thinks she'll have with him after the disappointment with Matt, she doesn't notice that a truly successful man will be more cautious about financial commitments. Unless he's a predator.
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I also don't think he'll really marry her... Is just doing it to get his own profile out there and will bail once he finds someone else. Or the reality sinks in. If he does marry her, he's a walking red flag.

 

[PoorPatrol]

I think the last time I contributed to this thread back in ye olde times before they got all remarkably uncoupled, and I defended her. Shame!

I think my defending centre around ‘yeah but, Flex Appeal has done lots of good’ and I sort of stand by that, it definitely helped get the info to the masses. Butttt. WTF monster has it made her into? She’s gone a bit mad with power or something. Who on earth does this to their children? Engaged and moving in with some weak chinned, stripey topped twit she met in September! It’s not fair on her kids, and is the sort of low class nonsense she’d be ridiculed for if she asked if it was sensible on, say, a certain parenting website. I wouldn’t even tell my kids I was dating that soon after divorce, it is absolutely mind blowing that she (and Matt if he’s doing the same) would subject the children to all this upheaval and change in such a short time.

I’m honestly so disgusted that she’s done this to the kids, I’d be saying something if that was one of my friends I’d be sticking my oar in for their sakes. Who the fuck does this? She’s like some posho Waynetta Slob at this rate.

And another thing. If I knew her kid was with her mum half the week when she was first being all cool and relatable, I’d have felt very very differently about her. It was shockingly disingenuous to omit that little titbit when telling everyone she knew how hard it was with little kids. There’s no way people would have rallied to her flex appeal thing if they knew she had so much help, I really can’t see that going down well. She’s a grifter, and quite frankly not putting her children first right now by jumping headlong into a relationship and moving in. It actually makes me sick that she’d have her two girls under the same roof as quite literally a fucking tinder random. Oh sorry, #hinge

 

[pennypinchpam]

She says she got married over new year’s in Thailand. That’s three months after meeting a total random on an app. As a grown woman. With two young kids.
Her recounting of her proposal is trying so hard at making it sound like a feminist mills and boon. And yet, so boring.
“This engagement is for the kids. It’s a way to anchor them, show them that we aren’t going anywhere. Engagements are usually for two people but this is for 6”. Oh my god I can’t
Those poor children on both sides

 

[Lilyofthevalley80]

Anna might have "left" the relationship/family unit a lot earlier but her kids didn't. ‍‍

 

[Plinkplonk]

basically the whole gist of the podcast is that anna is the first person ever to be a mum, get divorced and have a boyfriend afterwards

she is so incredibly comfortable talking about herself the whole time, often speaking over polly too. i guarantee this friendship will end horribly at some point
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near the end, on the topic of self-love Polly manages to squeeze in a tiny part about herself and feeling happy to be alone - but Anna, narcissist that she is, skilfully manages to bring it back to her engagement and mr Breton. By quoting their own words from the proposal like it is a profound statement from a film. So nice of her to graciously allowing Polly approximately 30 seconds of airtime though.

Polly has two young children who aren’t expected to live much beyond 10 years. She has got serious shit going on in her life. How she surrounds herself with such a narcissistic, self absorbed person such as Anna, I’ll never know.

 

[ophelia1990]

You don’t know someone after 3 months, I’m sorry but you don’t. You can like them and want a relationship with them but you do not know someone intimately enough after 3 months to involve your kids and marry them. People are on their best behaviour at the start of a relationship, you’ve not seen the
It’s pathetic and selfish behaviour from Anna.

Sounds like he’s a creep anyway.

 

[HattieJakes]

Podcast prediction for 3 months time: guest is a Lorraine sofa regular psychiatrist talking about the warning signs of rogue men you may meet on dating apps and what unsuspecting, desperate women on the rebound should look out for...dangers of men who love bomb... men who say I love you after 4 dates...men who want to become "best friends" with your girl friends, men who send "missing you" texts to other ladies on hinge, men who propose marriage faster than they change their sheets.

PollDoll and AnnaSpanner oohing and aahhing along "if only we'd known". Many tears. Remarkable, very different, seldom heard of diagnosis of post-break-up word salad syndrome. Sponsored by Kleenex.

 

[Lilyofthevalley80]

That's the thing with these women though, when it blows up they find some sort of angle or explanation for it then carry on as normal. Hides like a rhino the lot of them and zero self awareness. If he does a runner then she'll act like she's the first person that's happened to and that will be her content for the foreseeable.

Not so worried about him doing a runner. More that Anna and her daughters are caught living with a man whom they don't really know (the daughters not at all) and, because it's Mummy's Big Love which Mummy's career, ego and identity is materially predicated upon, Mummy will move hell and high water to make sure the public persona is maintained - whatever is going on behind the scenes. Essentially, he is an unrelated adult male. Children (paticularly girls) are hard wired to be naturally cautious around men in this situation. It's what kept them safe for thousands of years. Children who aren't often have related behavioural or mental health difficulties. These girls are being thrown into this situation with absolutely no thought or care seemingly being given to helping them adjust or aclimitise to the situation. Most decent blokes would recognise this and I also strongly judge Bretton for his part in this situation

 

[Venuslurker]

Been following this thread for a while quietly as
I know two people who dated stripey on hinge. Let’s just say this man is creeeeepy to the highest. Love bombs, desperate to be serious quickly. Just major red flags. He also messaged one of them fairly recently with a miss you type message. I don’t know Anna other than one of the girls said he was now dating a dj so we looked it up.
Finding it very amusing as both girls have almost identical messages from him so I wonder if Anna has this too but was just the one who fell for it.
He made it to the ‘creep board’ PowerPoint when we recapped last years tragic dates

just quoting this in case anyone missed this absolutely premium quality tea.

She's been on an absolute spiral of embarassing cringe for a few years now and I think we can all predict the crash and burn of this "love story". The woman is insane.

 

[FrannyGallops]

The thought of introducing my kids to someone after three months… and so soon after divorce, and they’re only so little and adjusting to all the change. What a selfish cow

I’ve said it before but if she lived on a council estate, she’d be getting shredded on social media for the speed in which she’s introduced ‘MY PERSON’ into the kids lives. These middle class twatfluencers get away with so much just because they’re vaguely articulate and can spew out a load of word salad in defence of their behaviour. It’s not even like she bumped into the new bloke down the pub or at work when she wasn’t looking, she went on Hinge and actively sought a new boyfriend out, ffs.

 

[FrannyGallops]

She’s gross. Really fucking gross. I actually used to like her and thought she more common sense than the other Instamums but she’s pathetic. No thought for her kids whatsoever, just thinking with her fanny. This isn’t a deep and meaningful relationship, it’s desperation and wanting to beat her ex to the punch.

 

[Dawnofftobed]

Long time lurker, first time poster, on this thread of all threads...my goodness I find this whole situation absolutely compelling. I can't tear my ears and eyes away from it all. I even listened to the recent podcast (Sex Talks), why is her best friend enabling this behaviour? I do hope"my ex" is avoiding all social media as noone deserves this...it's like she doesn't realise she's speaking to thousands of people on these various platforms...and if I bloody hear the word navigate used outside of the maritime setting again I will implode

All I can think of is what Stripey Top’s mates are thinking about all this. Her inappropriate shouting about how she climaxes now with him makes me think she is just in that really embarrassing honeymoon phase of being sex-drunk. She thinks she’s being all edgy and cool being open about her sex life but it really is just so cringy and makes me think actually just how vanilla she really is. She has absolutely no respect for Matt making this so public. If he were doing the same thing, it would be tasteless, but slightly more understandable. The poor guy has pretty much disappeared from social media and he must be sitting there thinking how relieved he is to be out of the marriage with that narc.

 

[blurstoftimes]

taking one for the team and listening to the podcast, 5 mins in and according to polldoll NO ONE would understand the weight of what anna's been through with divorce, starting a new relationship, childcare...
---
-says Polly will be doing the interviewing and calls her a tesco value jeremy paxman, this lame attempt at banter feels awkward, forced and unnecessarily mean as they really don't have any chemistry as friends
-There's a STIGMA around finding happiness after divorce, people expect her to be a widow
-announcing her engagement is just sooooooo tough on poor anna, polly wants to give her a hug
-she's SPEAKING UP FOR WOMEN by getting engaged by offering divorcees hope and polly thinks its a VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE
-this is the sort of repetitive self-important crap that comes out after sharing a bottle of pinot and a couple of bumps
-Anna manages not cry for nearly 10 minutes, is this a record?

 

[Lilyofthevalley80]

This sounds very like my mum. Got married at 24, divorced from my dad when she was 36/37- I was 11 and all I remember is my life being a bit like Ab Fab. Friends coming back to talk about men and conquests that she’d had at the weekend, as we got a bit older bringing men back thinking I was asleep but I wasn’t and listened at the top of the stairs to many things I shouldn’t have seen or heard. It really fucked me up, I was so unhappy and had a miserable time at school as I felt very alone and that my mum was more interested in her life than in my brother and I. I felt guilty as I felt like I was trying not to tell my dad things and hide what she was up to because I didn’t want him to be upset or for them to fight. As I got older it felt like she was just wanting more attention from men than me, it was like she got competitive. I was embarrassed when she went to school and would flirt with teachers or other dads but it was all about her ego. This went on for years and she got a boyfriend, one weekend my brother asked to stay at my mums rather than going to dads because he wanted to go to a rugby tournament close to our house and she told him she was working, he found out she lied, she just wanted to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, my brother was 16 and didn’t speak to her for about 5 years after that and moved in with my dad. I don’t think he ever really forgave her completely. We were both teenagers but my mums selfishness really screwed up my childhood, maybe that makes me selfish for not wanting her to live her life? When my husband and I split up I saw someone but just couldn’t commit because of the memories, I decided I would happily be alone for the sake of my child. She even said she wasn’t bothered about her dad meeting someone but didn’t want me to meet someone and stop being her mummy. I knew what she meant, she didn’t want to share me. Her dad and I got back together because she’s the most important thing, not me. So Anna can give out all the drivel she wants about how amazing this is but il put money on this all falling apart and those poor girls being so traumatised.

That was a hard read. I can’t imagine how hard it was going through that and even writing it down now. I’m really and truly sorry that you and your brother went through that - you were let down and you didn’t do anything to cause that to happen or to deserve it.

This is where the absolutist “so long as Mummy is happy brigade” get this so terribly wrong as anyone who is actually trained, regulated and insured to practise in this field and/or deal with the fall out knows