MOD & FOD #22 A draughty pile of pricks #ifyouknowyouknow

[snoopdog123]

First time posting, long time lurker etc but as someone who doesn’t have children I was totally infuriated and quite frankly offended at the description of people without kids just chilling in pubs and planning mini breaks. Says the guy who goes on all expenses paid mini breaks with the lads regularly (or at least did in the past).

I know every single answer to his stupid quiz questions (except the worm tablets) because I’m a person in society.

As an aside imagine if your dad posted a pic of your worm tablets on insta. Thanks Dad. Life over.

 

[Shewearsitwell]

Being an older woman who brought up 5 children in the good old days before mobile phones, social media and Instagram, I’m completely baffled as to how someone can make a career about parenting as if they are some kind of experts.
We’re all winging it and in the process are doing the best we can. I’ve watched the rise and fall of these unbearable couple and can honestly say their behaviour is beyond appalling.
I’ve always lived by the mantra “be kind to people on the way up because you may need them on the way down”
Shame on them because karma is a bitch.

 

[ILoveUnicorns]

This is brilliant is this a Tattler?

 

[frostily]

Still going dooooownnnnn

He's going doooooowwwn, he's yelling vulvaaaa

 

[GreyWolf]

He such a dick. He can’t go out on trips and share real time because he’s too safety conscious bless him. He tried to share taking them swimming, but as he couldn’t actually film the pool it had to be the changing room half naked, which he just didn’t realise was extremely poor taste and appreciated by no fucking follower anywhere except the excited paedos who live this guy’s dedication to selling his vulnerable little moppets.
He tried holidays but they’ve stopped being free so no fun, he tried (at least 3 times) good old b&q, the gold standard in filming small children entertainment, but despite his repeated efforts it just hasn’t gone viral. He’s tried supermarkets and the beach. Oh the beach. Up poles, on poles, in puddles, in the air, wet kids, dry kids, Sandy kids. The only activity they do kids. I’d stroll along the beach kids. Kind of pretty but he’s run out of fun similes and metaphors. But he’s focused on the clothes, the shoes, the getting wet. He’s basically exhausted it.
And so he finds himself in grey towers, The house. And he goes from room to room. He gets a semi when he sees the next item. He thinks ‘I am a fucking genius. Women adore me. Today it’s the hairband’ or ‘’yes, a tape measure’ ‘the larder, why didn’t I think of it before’ ‘the mooncup - I’m so on trend’ ‘tampons- I’m just so fucking amazing and in tune with women’
So what do we have left? Tin openers? His crusty sock? whatever Clever Simon spies.

And then locked back up in the Naughty Chamber.

 

[istapp]

based on his current average rate of net follower loss on social blade he'll have 0 followers in a little over 10 years. i'm committed to being here for that day.

 

[skronkywildcat]

I made a thing.

 

[Dogmuck]

I wondered how long it would be before someone made a link between CF and the ODs. Whilst it’s very sad that she felt there was no option but to take her own life (if that is the case), her circumstances and life was polar opposite to that of the ODs. She was a celebrity, that was her job, she lost her job, was being prosecuted for a criminal offence and lost her boyfriend too.

People on here have been suggesting the ODs stop the circus of Instagram and seek help (if needed) and to live their normal life, a midwife and a consultant with 4 healthy children. They have chosen not to. They have continually exploited their children, their children’s privacy and put themselves and their entire family in the spotlight for the entire world to discuss. With that came lots and lots of freebies but with that come criticism too. The ODs are an accident of their own making and if a free lampshade is more important than their families health and well being then that is their responsibility.

No doubt #bekind will be trending for the next few days because that is what this world has become, a pointless hashtag, Clemmie wasn’t being kind when she called her husband a class A twat, or when she ripped apart the other instahuns or when she made blatantly racist remarks among many more things. Slymon isn’t being kind when he uses the images of his children to make ££££. Let’s not confuse these two fundamentally different issues.

And so it begins- influenzas all jumping on the CF story blaming the media, the trolls (that’s us) and negative comments. Mrs Hinch has, bizarrely, managed to squeeze a nice long meme in between her 8billion Disney photos on her stories. Also Mrs Meldrum has managed to not tell us how tired she is for 5 seconds to throw up a meme on her stories too
These people are nothing if not predictable narcissist- look this is what they did to that poor girl, that’s what you’re doing to me! Well get the fuck off your phone and clean your house and take care of your kids you basic shites!

 

[Alliealoop]

This is the thing about influencers - they want to monetise these huge audiences, put their engagement rates & little print screens of comments to show their ~authentic relationships with their following into pitch decks to grab sponcon money & load their homes with freebies. But with an audience of x thousand / hundred thou / million will come people that disagree with you on occasion, and that is ok. That is perfectly normal. Trolling and active bullying (eg your face is ugly / nasty shit about your life) is never acceptable but they purposefully conflate the two because they cannot handle constructive criticism/being held to any level of accountability.

The thing that kills me is - do any of us have jobs where we are never disagreed with? Where we never, ever make mistakes? Where we don’t have at least one difficult person to deal with? No shit meetings? Never cry in the loos? I’m going to guess literally no one does. Why do these guys expect the easiest life imaginable?

Why do influencers all seem to have this unwarranted persecution complex. I’ve mentioned before I’m in recovery & it’s inevitable that celebrity deaths like CF’s will get spoken about in meetings as people want to process how they feel about it, it can be triggering. We also sporadically have our “own” deaths to deal with - old timers killing themselves / dying old, relapsers, relapsers dying, suicide & botched suicides. The way that gets spoken about is respectful and kind, centring the common illness of addiction that does want to kill you as a topic of discussion and absolutely never ourselves?! Nor would we go out and weaponise these deaths of our peers as reasons to never ever challenge us, life is life and you’re going to have difficult times - you’re not beyond reproach for the rest of your life because you’ve had MH problems. I honestly think a lot of influencers are narcissistics because to make the leap from an addict’s death to their online social media profile is truly wild.

Sorry this isn’t 100% on topic, but it’s why I won’t stop commenting on SODs following CF’s death.

Exactly this. But a lot of influencers are very very middle class and I think they have a massive sense of entitlement. They see themselves as vastly superior and can't understand that not everyone worships them and some even question them. I worked in a school which was on the borders of a very posh area and a.very poor area. The middle class parents dominated everything. They pushed their kids to the front and we really had to try and hold them back while poorer kids accessed things as well. I remember we ran an art group once and we had targeted young issolated mum's but the middle class ones arrived en masse and one particular mum just took over. Her darling daughters had used all the paper and had all the playdoh. Then her mother and husband arrived and proceeded to take up even more space. And my one mum who'd I'd persuaded to come out of her flat was squashed into a corner her daughter too shy to get off her lap. Then the husband moved a table so he could charge his iPad. At this point I asked him and the mother to leave very politely. They did then wrote letters to complain and rang my boss.
They simply couldn't see that their behaviour was inappropriate. Their sheer confidence and sense of entitlement had made them oblivious to anyone but themselves.
This is fod and mod. Oblivious and entitled.

 

[poopypants]

Have been looking at all the pics of Motherpukkas book launch, absolutely no Clemmie. Can you imagine the mood if she walked in there? She must sit at home looking at events like that thinking ‘I would have been there’. No goodie bags for sneaky little racists.

 

[SaladDressing]

I so want to make a FOD parody instapage. Parody FOD could reel the Huns in by yapping away on the fake gram about his 'Midwife Crisis' following Clammies admission of trolling him on Cattle.life , the forum full of cows bitching about but itching to be as instagross as them!!

Ooh I almost forgot this: when driving into work this morning I heard that Jessie J song 'Pricetag' and thought with a little errrmmm 'doctoring', it could be transformed into a theme tune for the Hoopers.
Played around with a few lyrics. Some good lines were:

"Everybody swipe to the left, everybody swipe to the right
You can hashtag me
I'm gonna gift myself tonightt
It's all about the money money money,
You Huns think I'm funny funny funny
If you wanna see me dad dance
Swipe up I'm a priiiice slaaaaag"

Any other offerings??

 

[blurstoftimes]

One more thing from this annoying post - I always thought simon’s ‘thing’ was being the hapless man who rolled his eyes at his wife spending money on girl stuff like pillows...where has this sudden interest in ‘gorgeous brass bed frames’ come from

 

[GreyWolf]

I believe this room to be Clemmie’s idea of a joke. They have so many rooms and so many freebies she simply took the piss with this one, knowing it would be Simon’s Naughty Chamber. She designed it to be fucking hideous and to give anyone who entered it a terrible headache. It’s achingly unpleasant. I’ve genuinely never set eyes on such a monstrosity.
From the clashing walls and light fittings to the ripping out of a feature cupboard and replacing with an Argos styled flat pack unit. This room is a fucking disgrace.
What the FOD is he doing with this shit on his feed? He’s a child seller not an interior twat.
Trying to carefully word it to avoid ‘Reno’. Mate you redecorated and we all know it’s shit, just own it.
Also in his being clear, he was shit.
He’s really awful. As awful as that room. Which is like some kind of horror movie.

 

[Dogmuck]

Eeek! Bountymargate has posted again...clearly explaining that the steps down to the FODs (now) en-suite was a dressing room with “loads of rails for clothes” direct hit at FOD Saying there were scaffold Poles for clothes. And stated it used to be a kitchen (they used while living up there while the Reno was being done) before they made it into a dressing room! Hardly the “cold and damp” boxroom where every wall was crumbling
Go reno lady

 

[skronkywildcat]

Last one.

 

[Dogmuck]

Thank fuck they reinstated that ceiling rose, it’s totally changed the feel of that room, given it character, depth, focus and style - I’m so influenced by it, I wonder who had that shamazing, creative, individualistic, trendsetting notion, for a ceiling rose...in a Victorian (soz Georgian) house? I mean that’s just so out of the box thinking. I’m totally sold they are bringing their interior A game to us all! Thank god they were compelled to renovate that room to that level!

 

[WhittlingIhopMonkey]

He's going doooooowwwn, he's yelling vulvaaaa

Has to be the next thread title!

 

[motherofdonkeys]

While I’m on a roll, am I the only person who thinks the bedside tables look those tables on wheels you pull over the bed in hospital?

View attachment 82804

Maybe Clemmie knicked them from work and that’s the real reason she’s suspended

 

[I_Like_Tractors]

Find someone who looks at you like Martin looks at FOD...

 

[Tattlingpineapple]

Guys. Why did you mention this other insta-dad. It's your fault if I fail my exams.