**Thread continues under Goodman Sisters**
Welcome to Lauryn's wiki. This is as close as she's ever going to get to being famous enough to warrant a wikipedia page that she hasn't written herself.
Lauren Goodman was born on 18 January 1991 (not that any of her friends/family care to remember it). Lauryn is in her thirties but she is thirty, dirty and conniving rather than thirty, flirty and thriving. She changed the “Lauren” to “Lauryn” because she’s struggling personality-wise and she maybe thought it would give her a bit of razzamatazz.
She is the eldest of five sisters (three full sisters and 2 seldom mentioned half-sisters from her father), the, ehm, most famous one being Chloe Goodman, who was a Big Brother contestant and also appeared on Ex on the Beach. The British media have a tendency to refer to Lozza as “Big Brother’s Chloe Sister”, completely overlooking the reasons we all know who she is… As of March 2022, her sisters Chloe and Amelia have unfollowed her on Instagram.
Lauryn's father is a pilot for Virgin Atlantic and his income allowed her to be privately educated, to no effect. It is thought that this is when she began putting on airs and grace, behaviour that has followed her into her thirties. Lauryn has the mindset of a teenager and at any given time you can find her sitting in her boxroom (located in her mum's house) doing mental gymnastics in order to convince herself that Annie and Kyle are stalking her (see important people below).
When Lauryn was a child, her father left her mother for another woman. Apparently her mum's suffering inspired Lauryn and made her want to contribute to breaking up a family herself and inflict this pain on someone else #careergoals. It is unclear when Lauryn cooked up her plan to ensnare a footballer but it can't be denied that she and her sisters are fame hungry. See the link to an article written by her sister Amelia below:
Lauryn is also the proud flogger of many, many, many products. Every day of the year, Lauryn puts in the work to brainwash people into clicking on her affiliate links. If you click on a link you may be taken to a cornucopia of nike crocs and £7 socks. Additionally, she is director of two businesses (Lago PR and Kairo Walker Ltd) that she likely uses to commit fraud. The company statements reveal what we all already knew: our Loz is skint. Lauryn has no discernible source of income aside from the maintenance paid to her for her son. For a number of reasons, it has been surmised that Laureen engages in escorting.
On 4 April 2019, Lauryn was convicted of defrauding the Department of Work and Pensions by claiming £21,000 of housing and disability benefits whilst in paid employment with HSBC. She was given a 7-month suspended jail sentence and was ordered to carry out 200 hours unpaid work and pay £670 in costs. As Lozza is a big fan of a filter, here is a picture of her leaving court. Please save this image, in case she ever goes missing:
Lauryn Goodman Entrepreneur
Lairen Goodman is many many things… entrepreneur is not one of them.
According to Companies house Lairen is the director of two businesses
NINETEEN LONDON LIMITED - Dissolved
LAGO PR LIMITED - Allegedly Active
Since the beginning of time, Lauryn has been harping on about her endometriosis. She has allegedly had multiple operations for it and has it under control so it's not bothering her too much. At the same time, she thinks she's in stage 4 which is extremely painful and would bother her a lot. A tattler connected to Lauryn has resolutely stated that Lauryn does not have endometriosis. According to Lauryn, she was told that she would never be able to conceive naturally. She claims that she tried IVF with an unnamed and likely imaginary ex but had no success. Until......she put on her fertility bracelets and slept with a multi-millionaire footballer once and became pregnant with his 4th child immediately. Interestingly, she got pregnant to this cash cow the same year the she was found out for being a benefits cheat
Talk about a miracle baby
On 4 March 2022, Lauryn posted that she had teamed up with Ann Summers (a lingerie and sex toy brand) to talk about endometriosis. She could have been talking about the moon being made of cheese as all us Tattle bastards could do was laugh at the 1980s porn star get up and the fact it was probably the long suffering Carron Joooooolie who had to take the pic….
A tattle detective emailed Ann Summers about why they were working with a convicted benefits cheat. Ann Summers responded that they had no idea about this collaboration
However, a week later Ann Summers reposted Lozza's story along with other begs that were dying for a repost. Despite Lauryn being acknowledged by Ann Summers (who follows both Chloe and Amelia), after a week, the post had less than 900 likes. At the time of posting, Lauryn had 106k followers. No explanation has been given from either party as to why she was dressed like someone from the Readers Wives section of a top shelf mag…
Hong Kong Romp
During #pumagate Lauryn posted a picture of her on a balcony suggesting that she had met up with Kyle in HongKong.
If you hear tattlers refer to the Hong Kong Romp it would be because of the picture below.
Tattlers have been able to work out where little Johnny was conceived due to flight and pictures during the time.
So basically in this picture she’s letting us know she’s full of kyles semen. Nice
She also now posts memories to taunt Annie around the time of the Hong Kong Romp
Lairen claims she only found out about the perfectly timed miracle baby when she was #20weeks. Claiming she found out via a bladder/kidney scan. The same tattler that pointed out she doesn’t have Endo also claims this is not true.
Tattlers have noticed that not long after this Lauryn was on a beach in Barbados with a huge bump making it difficult to believe she did not notice she was 5 months pregnant.
Lauryn announced publicly that it was THE Kyle Walkers child.
Pregnancy Twitter Fingers
Whilst Laureen was pregnant she enjoyed tweeting anyone who would listen.
Laureen was very excited to share her pregnancy news.
She was somewhat under the illusion that people were following her criminal self because they cared about her….
People follow Lairen for the drama.
Below are some pregnancy tweet gems.
Mrs Walker Ignores Bunker Begman And She Hates It..
Annie Walker is the example of class. A lot have said they would not have been able to be as quiet as Mrs Walker
Lauryn was trying to be mysterious with peanuts gender even dressing peanut in purple.
Our Queen Annie came through!!!
Ladies and gentlemen…
Lauryn's Living Situation
Despite being a 31 year old parent, it seems like Lauryn has never lived alone. Lauryn has never done a lot of things alone. For example, taking a holiday or supporting her son. If she did, she would actually have to pay for it herself #leech. Lauryn currently lives with her mum in a filthy, boxroom. While Lauryn's name is on the deed along with her mum's, it is unlikely that Lauryn contributes anything financially to the upkeep of the house as her mum is the only one in that household that works. Some tattle detectives have discovered a house on Lauryn's street as being listed for sale and we have reason to believe that it's hers. Loser Loz believes that baby daddy Kyle should support not only their son but also her "lifestyle." The shameless beggar has been demanding that Kyle buy her a house and so far he has managed to resist, With Carron Joolie selling the house, Lauryn will be forced to find a place of her own.
Liaren is living a rich wife's lifestyle on a mistresses budget, but has maintenance and a house provided by the child’s father, however she does not contribute as company accounts show she earned 2k last year.
If Kyle and Annie do not have a restraining order against her, she will move to Cheshire to stalk them as she has been known to do. She wants her son to be the carbon copy of Kyle, moving to Sheffield is also an option as that is where Kyle and Annie are originally from. Watch this space!
- Now has his own Instagram page that will be up and running very soon, is inviting people to follow this account, probably showing off his constant drills, thinks no one will troll a 2years old, but she can troll Katie Price
’s son she accidentally posted a pic up of HP and tagged someone who KW knows and then pretended someone took her phone….
Loser Loz, the Walker Stalker
After Kyle told Annie that he got "some girl called Lauryn" pregnant, she did an interview with The Sun
where she stated that in the Spring of 2019, Sian took her to a Manchester bar to help her get over Kyle cheating (not with Lauryn). There, Loz met Annie for the first time. Why was Lauryn so far from Brighton? We'll never know. Annie and Lauryn connected and they swapped numbers. Lauryn told Annie that "Us girls should stick together." In June of 2019, Lauryn screwed her man. In that same June/July period, Kyle, Annie and fam went on a holiday to Ibiza where Lauryn just so happened to be as well. Fancy meeting you here? There are multiple sightings of Lauryn in Cheshire which is hours away from Brighton. So, it's pretty clear that Lauryn was on the lookout for Kyle. Loser Loz keeps herself apprised of every single thing that Kyle and especially Annie does using her various burner accounts. It has also been discovered that Lauryn also has two phone numbers, no doubt used to create secret accounts that counteracts Annie and Kyle blocking all of the accounts that she may create. Additionally, Lauryn has posted many photos on instagram of her copying Annie and Sian's style.
During the Euros Lauryn finally noticed something about Kyle other than his huge bank account, this being that he has the name of his children on his football boots. Even though he had been having RRRs names and DOBs on his boots for seasons and Kiaro was over 1. Lauryn decided to use the attention of the Euros to get some attention for herself (I know out of character for our normally selfless loz
She created a petition calling out Puma and Kyle for Bullying Kiaro, demanding that Kyle names all of his children on the boots or none. This lead to people “walking out” on their puma jobs - apparently
Nothing has changed for 2022 boots still have 3 sons names
This was not backed up! A while after this Lauryn tried her hand at another petition forcing dads to be in their children’s lives. As usual self centred Lauryn hadn’t consider children who are abused or better off without their parents. This is most likely because her lifestyle would be better if with Kyle and that is all she truly cares about.
Other notable events during the Euros was the staged picture. Kyle was on the TV in the background of Lauryn and Kiaro cheering - Lauryn posted anyway.
Anything that is Annie related such as Mother’s Day and her birthday.. Kyle puts up a lovely tribute… however tattlers have noticed this is late in the day (so beggy cannot have a hissy and spoil the day)
Annie’s 30th beautiful tributes by all close friends and sincere messages about what a lovely lady she is, notable mentions from Coleen Rooney and other wives of footballers.. Incidentally on the same day as Sian seems to be the only Kilner posting, ‘someone’ has created a porn page in Sian’s name…. Retaliation imminent
After many unsuccessful ventures Lairen decided to con single mothers.. no I’m not talking about her bangles I’m talking about that website.
During Lairen’s 4 Month surprise pregnancy she was talking to her followers and sharing affiliated links.
All the advice and items she bought are still available in her highlights.
This entrepreneur decided to create a website with all this ‘exclusive advice’ but this time it wouldn’t be free, it would cost you 7.99 a month
As no one with half a brain cell was convinced, her threats of not sharing anymore information didn’t work and she’s back to sending herself dms on Instagram.
Here’s a snippet from her website
If you fancy any cheap T-Shirts then all the units from the original launch are STILL available on her website x
Dictionary/ Important Information
Names include but are not limited to;
- Bacteria Begman
- Baity Begman
- Balding Begman
- Beggy Mitchell
- Beggy Schlaaaag
- Begging Bowl Begman
- Boilwash Begman
- Bunny Boiler
- Bunker Begman
- Chlamydia Lauryn
- Cunty McCuntface
- Digital Faker
- Full Time Liar
- Jangle Your Bangles
- Lauryn Spongeman
- Lauryn Walker
- Lil Loz
- Loser Loz
- Lozza Prozza
- One Nighter
- Pump and Dump (a PAD rather than a WAG)
- Trapaman Begman
- Walker Stalker
- Johnathan Goodman
- Johnathan Kairo Goodman
- Kyle Junior
- King (
- Peanut (
- Strawberry (
Places you can find Laureen
- Somewhere in Cheshire (she calls the paps)
- Football Stadium
- Chloe’s Bedroom
- Chloe’s Cinema Room
- In Grant’s comments ( Chloe’s mans)
- In bed (trying not to flaunt her lifestyle)
- Looking for property
- London (probably escorting)
- Baby Football Class (showing Kyle what he's missing)
- Tanning Shop (trying to become Kyle, Caribbean tan on. If you can't beat them, become them)
- Nail Shop (Pretending that Sian's doing her nails)
- On Tattle under various accounts
- @KairoWalker (insta account, using it to send fake DMs to herself/stalk others)
- Stalking Sian Kilner
- Puma Headquarters
- Toddler football classes (reminding everyone her child is THE Kyle walkers son)
- Toddler Spanish Lessons - ready for when Kyle makes the move
- Dubai (stalking Kyle)
- Barbados (she probably thinks it’s Jamaica, stalking Kyle)
- Ibiza (stalking Kyle)
- The boxroom (Lauryn's own room). The headquarters for Walker Stalker Ltd.
- Searching for Kyle’s feet
- Spokeswoman for Lauren Goodger
Very Important People
- Manchester and England player #2, Kyle Walker (Annie’s husband and the object of loser Loz’ affections/monetary aspirations)
- Annie (Kyle’s wife/partner of over 10 years, mother to 3 of Kyle’s children)
- Sian (Annie’s sister)
- RRR (Annie and Kyle's children)
- Carron Joolie Goodman (Lairen’s Mother and hired
- Heidi ( Fat Dog)
- Becky Vardy (her only “WAG” friend)
- Chloe Goodman (Laureen’s sister)
- Grant Hall (Chloe's boyfriends, a footballer for Middlesbrough FC)
- Isla and Hudson (Chloe and Grant's children, Lozza's niece and nephew)
- Amelia Goodman (Laureen’s sister)
- Chris (Laureen’s paparazzi friend)
- Lisa Andrews ( Nigel Benn's Baby Mama That NO-ONEEEE Cares about)
- Loopy Layla one of her Instagram friends
- Katy Jane a fellow escort that got knocked up purposely by a footballer
- Lauren Goodger - Her spokeswoman
Lauryn Goodman's Dictionary
- Likkle Man
- Uzzz Lot
Lauryn Goodman's Hashtags
Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery?
Try telling Annie that…
(The picture of Lauryn and Kairo at the restaurant in Dubai was taken before the one of Annie, however on seeing Annie looking gorge and carefree, Lozza posted her pic. At this stage, it would appear Lauryn isn’t trying to hide the fact she watches Annie and reacts accordingly.)