Zoella De Vile - Cordially Invites Pedos and Torys to Casa De Zalfe

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^ Lol, forgot about that- yeah, they could be living in their own quarters I guess.
 
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Zoe-Ho-Hoella - The 12 days of uploads after 11 months of flu and colds.


You are Cordially Invited to Casa de Zalfie:
Zalfie’s half arsed Christmas begins
Just a suggestion not the best. ?
 
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I just tried giving her new vlog a go but honestly had to turn it off after about 20 seconds due to... her brows!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek::eek::eek::eek: Why has nobody told her they look absolutely awful that thick and blocky.
 
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Sunday: Cosy Day
  • Side note: Zoe has made me hate the word "cosy"
  • The video starts with a staged shot from her hotel style shower -- just running water for 5 seconds of footage -- GROUNDBREAKING
  • Next shot is Zoe and Alfie in the car and Zoe proclaims "I am not feeling as bad today, I am going to embrace today so I thought I would get up shower for the first time in 3 days, put on make-up and have a cosy Sunday" -- LIKE YUCK....she legit was just a tad ill, and just slothed in bed for 3 days!!!!!
  • She then asks Alfie "How do you feel about that"? which he says "I feel really festive" -- she looks like she's about to wet her pants from excitement (Sidenote: do you think Zalfie sexy bedroom talk includes festive, cosy and autumnal??? :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:)
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  • Alfie legit says "I feel my eyes have been upgraded like I can see all the colours clearly" -- WHAT THE F IS HE SMOKING?
  • Alfie also did not pick up how smug he sounded "the rain yesterday was crazy, but it was so cosy because we were inside" -- yes yes Alfred smirk at those homeless people
  • Zoe gets excited at the prospects of a roast dinner today...Alfie then states Zalfie have never cooked a roast dinner. Zoe tries to lie "What about Christmas" -- BISHHH! Even Alfie said, "you were ill". DO NOT LIE, "HOSTESSELLA"!
  • Zoe "We are doing a roast today for Alfie's family, but not from scratch because I am still not 100% and I want to go to the garden centre" - What happened to "embracing today"????
  • Then they try to have a "deep" conversation all because Alfie is getting festive and turning the AGA oven on which he has never been before, Zoe saying he is a changed man!!!!!!!! LOOOOL
  • Alfie then bangs on about a Netflix documentary he watched on the plane about Tony Robbins -- Alfie "priorities in life need to shift".
  • Alfie then shifts back to usual Alfred "Zoe you should make some merch saying its a good day to feel festive" -- LOOK AT ALL DEM PRIORITIES SHIFTING

  • They go home, and dress Nala in a snowman costume, Nala looked like kill me now
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  • Zoe then went to her home office and started spontaneously*** organising her memories with scrapbooking -- btw she most all this stuff THREE YEARS AGO!
  • *** Yes it was #SPONtaneous -- paid for by HP sproket
  • She legit scrapbooked her Cordially book photos lol
  • She said she will schedule a time to scrapbook.BISH you do NOTHING! You can scrapbook ANYTIME, ANYDAY.
  • OMG -- so for a Sunday Roast dinner for a max of 6 -- they spent a minimum of £112.97!!!! IS THAT NOT A SHOP FOR A FAMILY OF 4 FOR A WEEK?????
  • So she "makes" roast potatoes and Sean says they look good, Zoe says she made them, and Sean asks "is your name Aunt Bessie" aka she bought the brand Aunt Bessies roasts
  • ALSO HOW bleeping BLAND DOES HER FOOD LOOK, HARD PASS FROM ME!! (Bet she doesn't season her chicken) - BLANDELLA 280390 ways to pretend to be a hostess, but not season tit
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  • Sidenote: how large has Poppy got, jeeeeezzzzz!
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  • Also, this gives me incest vibes!
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  • Zalfie are in bed by 9.30pm (Zoe brags "I have been awake since 5.30am") -- YES, DOING tit ALL
 

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I just tried giving her new vlog a go but honestly had to turn it off after about 20 seconds due to... her brows!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek::eek::eek::eek: Why has nobody told her they look absolutely awful that thick and blocky.
I took another for the team... check the recap b
 
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“Euthanasia is the practice of intentionally ending a life to relieve pain and suffering”
?
Nala Sugg is the first dog to bring to pawliament a bill to allow animals who are so bleeping done with their crappy ass owners making them look like mugs to eat as much chocolate as they like...
end the pain.
Pull the plug.
I don’t blame her ?
As Alfie would say “GET/SMASH/TAP THAT 12th tin of Cadbury’s Roses Zoe has stored away narrlahhh,
we support you!”
Don’t hate me professionally offended crew it’s a joke.. ??
DC56CE3D-BE7D-4545-ADF5-F1E86529001F.jpeg
 
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“Euthanasia is the practice of intentionally ending a life to relieve pain and suffering”
?
Nala Sugg is the first dog to bring to pawliament a bill to allow animals who are so bleeping done with their crappy ass owners making them look like mugs to eat as much chocolate as they like...
end the pain.
Pull the plug.
I don’t blame her ?
As Alfie would say “GET/SMASH/TAP THAT 12th tin of Cadbury’s Roses Zoe has stored away narrlahhh,
we support you!”
Don’t hate me professionally offended crew it’s a joke.. ??
View attachment 2055
Nala needs surgery on those nostrils at the very least. Might help her to breath a little better

Why does Zoe not look at her and think no nostrils you poor dear can't bloody breathe.

I can guarantee she's been told by a vet too .as she spends a lifetime there.
 
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I honestly detest what some stupid people have done to animals.

The pug and the british bulldog have been bred so badly for so many years their quality of life is effected.

Persian cats are often the worst. colleen ballinger has two and when she had two other youtubers house sit they spent most it wiping their tear ducts, cleaning up cat vomit and cleaning faeces from their fur. They are high maintenance as they are bred so badly they can longer take care of themselves properly. Her female cat has given up on personal hygiene entirely, and everyone who knows cats knows how important cleanliness is to them. that poor cat has permanent marks on her feet from constantly rubbing her irritated tear ducts.

I saw an x ray of a bulldog and a pug once and it pulled on my heartstrings so bad. the teeth, the nasal passages, the eyes. OMG. Criminal!

Anyone who supports these breeds by buying them as puppies from breeders is ignorant at best. Def not a dog lover. I can't imagine anything worse than seeing these little ones struggle. Ugh.

I asked a vet once what is the ideal dog, she said go to the pound and choose a dog with the energy that suits your lifestyle first, and second one that has so many different breeds in it you can't identify what it is. These kinds of dogs are gold, they not only live forever they are healthier too. All of those crappy genes are super watered down. And you can't put a price on a happy dog that isn't hindered with extreme breeding so it has quality of life.

These pure breds tend to come with inherited ailments and issues, eg boxers tend to age super fast and get tumours etc all dogs have their weaknesses when full breed, you have to do a lot of breeder homework to get one that's likely to be healthy.

I'd rather have a mix breed than look at Nala any day. She can't help it, she has stupid breeders and stupid owners. She can't even look straight and when she barks poop flies out of her butt (zoe admitted that in a vlog once) Her life sucks. She didn't even have a comfortable dog bowl last I looked. I feel really bad for her. Dogs love other dogs for company and she's stuck with dumb and dumber and occasionally she sees buzz. that's it. she's forced to live a hermit life like her owners, taking the same walk down the lane. Then she's dressed up when she already has a fur coat, and forced to have pics taken and put online. She's also forced to sleep in a cage as her bad breathing keeps her owners awake. Too bad!! It's really unnatural for a dog to sleep alone. They hate it.
 
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asked a vet once what is the ideal dog, she said go to the pound and choose a dog with the energy that suits your lifestyle first, and second one that has so many different breeds in it you can't identify what it is. These kinds of dogs are gold, they not only live forever they are healthier too. All of those crappy genes are super watered down. And you can't put a price on a happy dog that isn't hindered with extreme breeding so it has quality of life.
It's becoming a fallicy now as there isn't the gene pot for the mutt dog any more.

To get the best chance at healthy dog is get dog from ethical breeder who health tests and looks into lines. Whether this is pedigree or crossbreed alike. That's health TESTs not a check by a vet

Vets are now seeing more crossbreeds with inherited problems. It's heartbreaking.

Think of a stew with lots of veg in representing the different breeds in these rescue dogs now. Limited gene pools so not that many as such..so there is still chances of hd if you have a medium plus size dog pedigree or otherwise. You can take some carrots out the stew but some still remain.

Major problem with the brachy breeds like pugs, Frenchies and bulldogs and although some breeders are trying Europe is far better.

We live in a want now and sadly stupid rare colours mean more than health.
 
^ My 7 year old niece is staying over and she asked me what I was laughing at just now- bit awkward lol, quickly had to think of something appropriate:LOL:
 
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I just wanted to say quickly that I'm always seeing zoe and mrs hinch etc with constant colds n flu, and while this might not be a popular post I want to share it in case other's will benefit. (i posted this once on the dm site and it was hated lmao)

Basically I used to get a lot of colds and flu and bugs and viruses and diet sorted it out. It's got nothing to do with cleanliness of your home etc.

when you eat constant crap esp sugar you knock your immune system bandy. Even if all you did was buy a smoothie maker like nutribullet and made 1 green juice a day, you'd see a massive difference. make sure it is a quarter or a half of dark green leafy stuff like kale or any kind of brassica leaf, the rest can be fruit like banana and mango (can get frozen chunks from any supermarket) and add some herbs, mint, rosemary, thyme etc

the best thing is my miracule cure I got from a genius health guy abroad. You get equal amounts of red onion, ginger and garlic (small amount) and blend it in a nutribullet or whatever you have with apple cider vinegar so it's a thick paste. It will look like pink strawberry paste! It will store in your fridge forever almost lol. Put a teaspoon in a cup of water as many times as you like per day (it tastes a little like lemonade and is kinda addictive!) and it literally destroys all viruses and colds and other nasties in your body & it works like a charm.

But eating fresh is what fixes things on a better scale so you don't need resort to that (altho its good for you to drink anyway, many health properties). I've been on opposite ends of the scale, took all kinds of vits and mins etc but only when i ate fresh and whole did my whole health did a 180. I don't even remember the last time I had a cold or flu.

My only other tip that I like to do for peace of mind is keep a hand sanitizer in the car and after shopping i do my hands and steering wheel.

If ur suffering like this with constant colds and flus change your diet, you'll thank me later ^^ also cut out milk and dairy, cus that stuff is pure slime that makes you bunged up to glory. I can tell who drinks it or eats it if I stay over friends houses, they cough as they're going to sleep and often all night! That's not the only reason people cough ofc but it's a big one.
 
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^ That makes a lot of sense, well done for keeping that up (wish I could say the same). Zoe can afford the best blender in the world and it doesn't take much time preparing a healthy juice/smoothie but I doubt she would do this, especially the onion/garlic paste... Anyway, I'm glad you didn't recommend blending 30 bananas;)
 
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Seriously, she considers that cooking? Just boiling some veggies and she's now a master chef in her kitchen?! Give me a break. It speaks volumes when Sean is poking fun on the potatoes that Zoe 'made'.

Alfie seems more content sleeping on Poppy then having Zoe near him. I'm close with my siblings but I'm not petting their faces either. :sick:

Nala has a terrible quality of life. The dog is young but is constantly at the vet's office. Was it worth paying all that money from a breeder to have a dog who is always sick and inundated with a host of health problems? I know feeding kibbles isn't the best for dogs (I think Zoe still feeds Nala kibbles). Not sure what brand Zoe feeds Nala but I don't feed my pets commercial pet food as the research proves it is a detriment to their health and domesticated dogs and cats are not meant to have such a high carb diet.
 
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know feeding kibbles isn't the best for dogs (I think Zoe still feeds Nala kibbles
Again another fallicy...come from raw feeders.

Dogs scavengers by nature and companion animals.

To survive they have hunted for us..meats always been a precious commodity so dogs can survive on carbs they have enough amylase in their body to digest especially kibble. Raw veg not so good at...acts like fibre not always a bad thing. Raw frozen carrots good for teething puppies and good natural chews for adult dog.

You'll spend a long time finding the best food to suit your dog..if your dog doesn't smell funny, hasn't bad coat, bad poo and maintains weight that's what matters.
 
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Again another fallicy...come from raw feeders.

Dogs scavengers by nature and companion animals.

To survive they have hunted for us..meats always been a precious commodity so dogs can survive on carbs they have enough amylase in their body to digest especially kibble. Raw veg not so good at...acts like fibre not always a bad thing. Raw frozen carrots good for teething puppies and good natural chews for adult dog.

You'll spend a long time finding the best food to suit your dog..if your dog doesn't smell funny, hasn't bad coat, bad poo and maintains weight that's what matters.
I don't feed my pets raw actually. Cats are carnivores and are not meant to have high carb diets, and fruits and veggies are fillers that are added in commercial kibble more so then for nutritional value. It's fine given as treats (as long as they are not toxic to said animal) but it shouldn't make up for a large part of their diet. And yes, commercial dog kibble has gotten better in quality over the years but one of the largest push for kibbles for domesticated cats and dogs was for convenience (in terms of cost and storage as dry kibble is easier to store then raw/homemade varieties) and for the claim it's better for their teeth. That somehow kibble breaks up harden plaque on teeth, which is not true. Again, I'm not a veterinarian or a nutritionist. I have no qualms if people feed their pets kibble-- as raw or homemade can be quite costly. I'm just saying with the case of Zoe's dog who has a lot of health issues as seen in her vlogs, she can certainly afford to feed her dog something better than kibble, of course unless it is a prescription brand specified for targeting Nala's ailments. But honestly, I think it's down to convenience for Zoe as she's quite lazy. We know that what we eat affects our body so if you're constantly feeding yourself garbage it will have long term consequences that show up later in life. Again not trying to detract from Zoe. I just think it goes hand in hand what Nala is eating, her lack of exercise/walks, and considering her breed, it's not surprising the dog has been doing so poorly considering she's still young by dog age standards.
 
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I don't feed my pets raw actually. Cats are carnivores and are not meant to have high carb diets, and fruits and veggies are fillers that are added in commercial kibble more so then for nutritional value. It's fine given as treats (as long as they are not toxic to said animal) but it shouldn't make up for a large part of their diet. And yes, commercial dog kibble has gotten better in quality over the years but one of the largest push for kibbles for domesticated cats and dogs was for convenience (in terms of cost and storage as dry kibble is easier to store then raw/homemade varieties) and for the claim it's better for their teeth. That somehow kibble breaks up harden plaque on teeth, which is not true. Again, I'm not a veterinarian or a nutritionist. I have no qualms if people feed their pets kibble-- as raw or homemade can be quite costly. I'm just saying with the case of Zoe's dog who has a lot of health issues as seen in her vlogs, she can certainly afford to feed her dog something better than kibble, of course unless it is a prescription brand specified for targeting Nala's ailments. But honestly, I think it's down to convenience for Zoe as she's quite lazy. We know that what we eat affects our body so if you're constantly feeding yourself garbage it will have long term consequences that show up later in life. Again not trying to detract from Zoe. I just think it goes hand in hand what Nala is eating, her lack of exercise/walks, and considering her breed, it's not surprising the dog has been doing so poorly considering she's still young by dog age standards.
Cats are obligate carnivores which is so different from dogs... Which is a huge difference. Yes cats cannot digest carbs, kibble shouldn't even exist full stop for cats. Plus cats tend not to drink as they tend to get all they need from their nutrition. So it's an innate sense as a rule not to quench first.

Dogs on the other hand totally different kettle of fish and since Nala is a dog. I stand by what I said before about kibble. There shouldn't be a problem. Depending on ailment I wouldn't always recommend prescription diet as a vet anyway. Not all vets do.

Have gone the extra mile for my occupation and have studied dog nutrition. Not one nutritionist would say kibble is bad. Unless it's a controversial one such as Becker.
 
Oh my. she looks like that zoella wannabe in this shot
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about dogs, I would think pet food are really bad with all those artificial stuff. for people with money like Z&A, they definitely could do better, but remember Zeella feeding them pugs cupcakes that they would puke out later.. falalalalalalalala


Zoella the Autumnal slug, famous scam author/baker, waitella for a ring
 
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Well yes, Sluggy Zeella, you could have decided to take a bath on a Friday and gone to the Garden Center when most of us folks are working.
Poor you

She legit made a pity face talking about us :rolleyes:
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Alfie "priorities in life need to shift"
she thinks the ring is coming
 
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