Zoella #5 Biological clock is knocking on door but her boyfriend has the mental age of 4

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StephenTJackson

StephenTJackson

Alightened said:
Can you imagine Alfie's face if Zoe came out of the bedroom swinging her nipple tassels at him😂😂. He'd do an embarrassed laugh and run like hell🤣🤣. I can't see that sort of shenanigans happening in their household🤢🤢🤢
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Alfie would be like: SEND IT...Away!

He wouldn’t know what to do in that situation.
 
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Alightened

Alightened

17917


Will you follow your own advice Zoe and focus everyday on improving your health🤔, or will you continue to binge on pizza, doughnuts and everything else sugar related. I think you should practice what you preach🙄🙄

17922

She's just this minute posted this🤣🤣🤣
 
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GossWhore

GossWhore

Srh1984 said:
Just here waiting for the comments when you see her latest stories.

Nipple tassels. Never got used. Course not.
Blister gels. Didn’t get used, you’d have to put shoes on and go out the house.
And crunchie bars in every nook and cranny.

Please.
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I could see him honking her tits and giggling like a 14 year boy
 
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thenomad

thenomad

Further proof their sex life is non-existent or boring af. I’m surprised those nipple tassels weren’t covered in a layer of dust. Also her underwear choices...

Alfie would only interested in those nipples tassels if it had skateboard designs on it (since he’s a skaterboi wannabe now). Maybe we will see it on Future’s Elf.
 
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cushtybert

cushtybert

Alfie would get more use out of those nipple tassels, she should save them for him so when he’s ready to come out of the closet he could wear them for his boyfriend 😂
 
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R

RosetheHat

I think she does have an eating disorder & tries very hard to normalise it by inviting likes on her constant pics of junk food , sweets and home-baking, and of course the constant asserting of control over the food situations around her & the forcing of food onto others . The crunchies hidden in her bags and drawers was just sad, but she’s obviously so deep in denial that she can’t see it.
If I had a teenage daughter I really wouldn’t want her to watch Zoe when she promotes this fake world where you can be stick thin & eat doughnuts every day - well we all know you can do that , but there’s only one way to achieve it ... and it ain’t gonna be instagrammed 🤐
 
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SavetheDrama

SavetheDrama

RosetheHat said:
I think she does have an eating disorder & tries very hard to normalise it by inviting likes on her constant pics of junk food , sweets and home-baking, and of course the constant asserting of control over the food situations around her & the forcing of food onto others . The crunchies hidden in her bags and drawers was just sad, but she’s obviously so deep in denial that she can’t see it.
If I had a teenage daughter I really wouldn’t want her to watch Zoe when she promotes this fake world where you can be stick thin & eat doughnuts every day - well we all know you can do that , but there’s only one way to achieve it ... and it ain’t gonna be instagrammed 🤐
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A lot of people with EDs (especially anorexia as far as I’m aware) go through phases of cooking/baking and surrounding themselves with lavish food displays, cooking for others, etc. I believe it’s a way for them to reaffirm control and obviously they’re obsessed with food but can’t eat it (this is all from indirect experience and reading about EDs so don’t quote me as any kind of expert). It’s quite chilling to see how obsessed she is with food vs the amounts actually on her plate. Nobody will convince me she doesn’t have an ED. It’s very sad to see that nobody is helping her for real instead of enabling her.
 
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L

LaurieLaurie

She couldn’t even do an Instagram story to promote Alfie’s dead pop up shop? These people are vile and wouldn’t piss on each other if they were on fire.
 
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thenomad

thenomad

LaurieLaurie said:
She couldn’t even do an Instagram story to promote Alfie’s dead pop up shop? These people are vile and wouldn’t piss on each other if they were on fire.
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Well to be fair Alfie hardly promotes Zoe's stuff either unless he's planning a surprise where it's about him. Honestly, they're both narcissists and deserve to wallow in self-made misery together.
 
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Y

yayayahey

Having sexy underwear and having never used it really sums that couple up. I mean come on, your girlfriend has nipple tassles lying around and they stay unopened for years?! You don't even open them up for a laugh/fun? They seem to me like a completely sexless couple. Maybe she doesn't like sex as she's so self conscious...... :rolleyes:
 
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E

emm

I am just watching her most recent vlog, her explaining how "busy" she has been in a day, thank god she is a youtuber as there is no way she would manage a normal person schedule, it is actually just enfuriating to watch
 
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H

HeyitsJay

Not sure if this has been posted yet, sorry if it has & I missed it.

So home bargains have zoella beauty products now... oh how embarrassing 🙈😂😂
20190520_153431.jpg
 
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Alightened

Alightened

18231
I bet Zoe is secretly seething that Joe and Dianne were chosen by Chewton Glen to go to the flower show instead of her and Alfie🤣🤣. They've knocked her right off her perch😂.
 
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