Long one for ya...
I was with my ex since I was 16, engaged at 21, first house at 23 and married at 29. We were high school sweet hearts. I loved him so so much. Things became bumpy when we first moved in together (which I took as normal!) and at one point we were even booked to be married in 2012, then put the wedding on hold cos he just wasn't feeling ready. The 7 years we lived together got tougher and tougher, but we went ahead and eventually got married in 2015.
After the wedding, things went from bad to worse. He was literally turning into a teenager - he'd disappear down the pub at 5pm on a Friday, came home at 8am, slept all day, woke at 4pm on the Saturday, showered, ironed a t-shirt and went back out and done it all again. He didn't give a
tit about me and how this made me feel. When he was around me, he was too tired or hungover. It wasn't a relationship - we just existed. I couldn't understand what was so bad about me that he wouldn't spend any time with me and it really hit my confidence. He was just obsessed with going on benders. Not to mention I also found out he was injecting steroids and dealing drugs but promised he stopped once I caught him, which he obviously lied about.
In August 2016 after coming home 2 days late from a stag do in Magaluf with no contact, as I threat, I told him I was leaving him. I (naively) didn't want to leave him, just wanted scare him and it back fired - he told me "fine, just go". I must have spent about 6 weeks (stupidly) pleaded with him to try and sort it but he was adement he didn't want to be with me and I couldn't understand how he could so easily throw away 14 years like that. Totally heartless. I had a feeling there had to be someone else in the background and one particular girl came to my attention on Facebook...
One night when he was night shift, I went to our home to collect more belongings, as I was staying at my folks house. A car I didn't recongise was outside and the lights were on. I walked to the front window and there was the very girl he denied being involved with, sitting on my couch herself FLICKING THROUGH OUR WEDDING ALBUM!!! I barged in, chucked her out, found her dirty knichers at the side of the bed, loads of her belongings all over the place. He had left her there while he went to work. His lies had all unravelled but he denies being involved with her while we were together, but I'm not stupid. It all added up.
Long story short, I was a mess for the next 6 months but found my feet, got my own house and settled into single life eventually. Had a great social life, amazing friends, a few cheeky hook ups, enjoyed texting guys then unexpectedly met my new boyfriend on the dancefloor of a nightclub. They remained together until the end of last year and have a 2 year old son. Once their honeymoon period ended, their relationship was nothing but turbulant - constantly having blazing rows, breaking up, physical violence, police called numerous times, court apperances, etc. My relationship with him was never ever anywhere near that bad. Our marriage was blissful in comparison.
My boyfriend is the complete polar opposite of my ex and feel insanely lucky to have met him that night, while my ex's life has fell apart. He tried reaching out to say how sorry he was for everything that led up to us splitting, how he regrets getting involved with her, how its ruined his life, etc. but I told him I was done and wouldn't change a thing. To think that I wanted him back! He's also had a long list of really
crappy things happen to him, all as a results of being involved her, so I see it as karma!
I've insanely happy with my now boyfriend and I feel so valued, respected and wanted. Feel like I got my happy ending.
Well done if you got this far