Yoga Girl Rachel Brathen #3 Conversations from the Ego

[QueenBW]

Like I said, I wasn't defending Rachel. Nor was I saying she's not a manipulative partner who doesn't pull her own weight in the relationship. But Dennis has also left her while Lea was sick to go do his Iron thingies. They just are very strange and probably only still married cause of Lea and because she needs a yes man and he needs a sugar mamma.

As for the throwing mouldy stuff away.... He could have said no. No matter how much she gaslights him, or more like attempts to gaslight him cause even now he doesn't believe her so he's not gaslit, actually. He's just spineless and preferred not to fight with Rachel than defend his allegedly super special possessions. He's a bleeping grown man. He could have told her, no. I'm not giving away X. You can cry or whatever but no. Or he could have taken it to his mom's house or whatever.

 

[PeachesBrilton]

His childhood best friend lives in Sweden also (Patrick) who is married to Olivia!

Yeah, the fact that both Rachel and Olivia found themselves two surfing tropical Island boys and dragged them to Sweden is just too funny. Poor dudes. Sweden Nov to March/April is just a grey hole. Sure it’s kinda nice in December and around Christmas, and if you go up north, but probably hard with the cold darkness if you’re from the Caribbean.

It seems that they live kinda close to a few cities, including Stockholm. And there are plenty of houses nearby them, like 40-50 houses… So, sure, it’s a little bit remote, but not like in the middle of nowhere as she wants us to believe. And lightyears from how remote Jonna Jinton lives. Whom by the way seems like a sweet and genuine person, working hard for what she has. Living in a cold abandoned school in the beginning when she moved from the big city, chopping wood, doing like really hard work… While Rachel is like “whoops we got a house!!! It’s a miracle!” (aka a rich dad). Oh, right, it's just a tinytinytiny not-even-a-cabin according to Rachel. Guess it’s just too small to fit her huge ego.

Btw, just waiting for her to jump on the (not so very new) bone broth trend, slurping it straight in to the camera smirking and giggling hysterically.

 

[pumpkin87]

Not to defend Rachel, but it's actually a lot more accepted for women to follow men, be it for work or just cause they are from somewhere else. So if the roles were reversed, I'd be willing to bet people would be like "oh such a good wife, supporting her husband."

And I think it's exaggerating to say they're not isolated in the middle of the woods like it's a horror movie. It's woodsy, yes, but doesn't her brother live super close by? And they see people all the time, based on her stories. Dennis doesn't have friends in Sweden but that's more to do with the fact that he doesn't have a job and he has been traveling to the Netherlands and Aruba very often, so he doesn't seem to have a routine conducive to friends in Sweden. But he goes to his Iron Man thingies whenever he wants. She hardly has him chained to the house.

None of us can know anything for sure, of course, but it doesn't seem to me like he's a victim. He has decision power, or as much as a partner who doesn't bring anything economically can have when they don't want to get an actual job and ergo financial independence and more power.

The way they live in Sweden is like 90% of the population here, well, maybe 90% is an exageration but everyone who doesnt live in the city center and lives in the suburbs live like her. It might seem like she is in the middle of nowwhere but her house is like 20 minutes from Stockholm airport, 15 minutes from one of Sweden's major highways and 30 minutes from Uppsala which, for Swedish standards, is a medium sized city. It can suck to live in an area like this if you dont drive and/or have a car, but it's not Dennis case. It's not like they have 200 km to the nearest neighbour or town. This lifestile is not for everyone, that I understand, but I dont think it means they live isolated.

 

[Scoobadob]

tbh I lost the tiny speck of respect I had left for her when she left Dennis alone in Aruba to remodel the house whilst she f*cked off to Sweden to start her "returnreturnreturn" nonsense.

100%. This was so gross. Dennis said it was his idea and she never asked him but that doesn't change the fact that she allowed it to happen. She sits on her arse while he does all the work on the house. That is bad enough but she took his child away for 3 months. That had a terrible impact on Leah at the time. Imagine if he suggested Lea stay with him for 3 months away from Rachel? She would be incensed. It was just so totally unnecessary. They could have just stayed in Aruba and sorted it out together. Or if it was so necessary for her to rest she could have rested in Aruba while Dennis did the work and still got to come home to his daughter. At the end of the day, until her retirement, Dennis was Leah's primary caretaker not Rachel. For her to not see him for 3 months was just cruel. Just another example of everyone's lives evolving around what is best for Rachel

As for the throwing mouldy stuff away.... He could have said no. No matter how much she gaslights him, or more like attempts to gaslight him cause even now he doesn't believe her so he's not gaslit, actually.

He does try to say no. That is what all the arguments are about. That is why they argued so much over the mould in Aruba. He has said no to throwing his boat cover and car away and she will not have it. He is trying to maintain a relationship with someone who is completely uncompromising and unrelenting so there is no room for anything other than him to give in eventually. She made that very clear in her last podcast. And he doesn't have to belive her gaslighting attempts to make it gaslighting. It's just an act of emotional manipulation that she does to him which will take a toll on him whether he believes her or not

 

[QueenBW]

100%. This was so gross. Dennis said it was his idea and she never asked him but that doesn't change the fact that she allowed it to happen. She sits on her arse while he does all the work on the house. That is bad enough but she took his child away for 3 months. That had a terrible impact on Leah at the time. Imagine if he suggested Lea stay with him for 3 months away from Rachel? She would be incensed. It was just so totally unnecessary. They could have just stayed in Aruba and sorted it out together. Or if it was so necessary for her to rest she could have rested in Aruba while Dennis did the work and still got to come home to his daughter. At the end of the day, until her retirement, Dennis was Leah's primary caretaker not Rachel. For her to not see him for 3 months was just cruel. Just another example of everyone's lives evolving around what is best for Rachel


He does try to say no. That is what all the arguments are about. That is why they argued so much over the mould in Aruba. He has said no to throwing his boat cover and car away and she will not have it. He is trying to maintain a relationship with someone who is completely uncompromising and unrelenting so there is no room for anything other than him to give in eventually. She made that very clear in her last podcast. And he doesn't have to belive her gaslighting attempts to make it gaslighting. It's just an act of emotional manipulation that she does to him which will take a toll on him whether he believes her or not

Then he should divorce her. I mean there's only so much you can put on someone else before you have to take responsibility for your own life and decide something.

But he won't. Cause he derives benefits from being her husband and acting conciliatory.

 

[Scoobadob]

I'm sure he loves his cushy lifestyle. I also think he does love her. She says herself he always sees the best in everyone. But more than anything he is clearly devoted to Lea. Very hard for him to divorce her just because she won't take no for an answer over throwing his car away. Add to that the real impact being with an emotionally dominating manipulator like Rachel, what that does to a person. That is going to make it harder to leave not easier.

 

[samwhat]

I felt bad for Dennis. Now I feel worse for him now as Rachel posted that her brothers cow gave immaculate conception to a baby cow.

Poor Dennis now has to leave his home in Aruba, go to Freezing Sweden, maybe adopt
Jesus cow and live in a tiny cabin away from the city life he dreamed of

I felt bad for Dennis. Now I feel worse for him now as Rachel posted that her brothers cow gave immaculate conception to a baby cow.

Poor Dennis now has to leave his home in Aruba, go to Freezing Sweden, maybe adopt
Jesus cow and live in a tiny cabin away from the city life he dreamed of

Maybe when they all return from Aruba they finally have the cow Rachel always wanted. But Dennis didn’t. Happy Christmas!!

 

[caracal]

Then he should divorce her. I mean there's only so much you can put on someone else before you have to take responsibility for your own life and decide something.

But he won't. Cause he derives benefits from being her husband and acting conciliatory.

I don't think leaving someone, especially if they are abusive, is this easy, especially if your lives are really intertwined. They live in a country where he doesn't speak the language, and no way Rachel is moving if they get a divorce. He'd still be stuck in Sweden if he wants to be close to Lea, he'd have to try to find an English-speaking job, and probably would have to deal with Rachel talking crap about him on podcasts forevermore.

 

[QueenBW]

I felt bad for Dennis. Now I feel worse for him now as Rachel posted that her brothers cow gave immaculate conception to a baby cow.

Poor Dennis now has to leave his home in Aruba, go to Freezing Sweden, maybe adopt
Jesus cow and live in a tiny cabin away from the city life he dreamed of

View attachment 1758044



Maybe when they all return from Aruba they finally have the cow Rachel always wanted. But Dennis didn’t. Happy Christmas!!

Don't worry. I'm sure Rachel/Rachel's Dad will buy Dennis the boat he wants so he will keep quiet.

I don't think the man knows what he wants tho. He's the definition of a beach bum/lake bum when in Sweden. But seems to believe he'd like to live in a city and be the person whod thrive in NYC. Spoiler alert as someone who has lived in major cities across the world all her life except for uni: he'd be chewed and spit out. He probably would do well where they are now, if it wasn't cold for so long. He has nature which he likes, a body of water which he loves, and they're like... What 35-45 min from Stockholm? Best of all worlds.

 

[Suzecakes]

At least she was wearing decent lipstick today. Or maybe it was a filter. So much better than that red coral. However, we did still get the insane laughter and baby talk on her stories, and of course, ridiculous content content which she laughs insanely about.

 

[QueenBW]

I don't think leaving someone, especially if they are abusive, is this easy, especially if your lives are really intertwined. They live in a country where he doesn't speak the language, and no way Rachel is moving if they get a divorce. He'd still be stuck in Sweden if he wants to be close to Lea, he'd have to try to find an English-speaking job, and probably would have to deal with Rachel talking crap about him on podcasts forevermore.

My point was that he's not the long suffering victim this thread sometimes makes him out to be. He gets things out of their arrangement that he clearly values more than we think or we would. He also perpetuates this and often actively pursues things that are not great, like the house he wanted to buy and flip.

I also, as a domestic abuse survivor, don't love the implication that Rachel is abusing him and keeping him isolated and cutting him off from loved ones when she clearly isn't. He comes and goes as he pleases, he has his best mate in Sweden, he has spent loads of time in the Netherlands recently with his sick sister, even when that has clearly not been great for Lea. Yes, mental and emotional abuse is abuse but I don't necessarily agree that he's the recipient of either.

 

[Scoobadob]

Yes, mental and emotional abuse is abuse but I don't necessarily agree that he's the recipient of either.

It's not obvious or clear cut no, but if your going to call her a narcissist then I think you simultaneously have to accept the relationship is abusive to him. Narcissists are not capable of having relationships with people in any other way.

 

[QueenBW]

It's not obvious or clear cut no, but if your going to call her a narcissist then I think you simultaneously have to accept the relationship is abusive to him. Narcissists are not capable of having relationships with people in any other way.

Actually, that's incorrect. They're not necessarily related, as a simple Google search can tell you, as can further reading on the topic. You could argue that she is both a narcissist and abusive, but clinically, narcissistic behaviour isn't necessarily paired with abuse.

Again, she might be both. But I don't feel comfortable equating narcissism with domestic violence nor seeing Dennis as a victim of abuse. You might feel different, everyone can have their opinions, but not spread incorrect info.

I just think there's so much concrete stuff to criticise about Rachel. But hey, whatever rocks your boat. If #FreeDennis appeals to y'all, cool. I think he knows exactly what he's doing and how much he's getting out of the relationship, and isn't abused. You can think whatever else.

 

[Grillita]

New to the thread! The whole vegan controversy brought me here. She's awful, a total liar, and bone-deep mean but a domestic abuser? That's an Olympic-level jump, imho.

 

[QueenBW]

Welcome @Grillita !

On a totally different note, looks like Island Yoga hasn't sold. Rachel posted it herself.

 

[therlieann]

My point was that he's not the long suffering victim this thread sometimes makes him out to be. He gets things out of their arrangement that he clearly values more than we think or we would. He also perpetuates this and often actively pursues things that are not great, like the house he wanted to buy and flip.

I also, as a domestic abuse survivor, don't love the implication that Rachel is abusing him and keeping him isolated and cutting him off from loved ones when she clearly isn't. He comes and goes as he pleases, he has his best mate in Sweden, he has spent loads of time in the Netherlands recently with his sick sister, even when that has clearly not been great for Lea. Yes, mental and emotional abuse is abuse but I don't necessarily agree that he's the recipient of either.

I think we should stay away from terms like abuse and even narcissism all together. You can say narcissistic traits but its sooo easy that everyone is a narcissist nowadays and we dont know. These are not things we can conclude from someone’s Instagram. Like some words are so overused nowadays but they have real meaning.

 

[Scoobadob]

Actually, that's incorrect. They're not necessarily related, as a simple Google search can tell you, as can further reading on the topic. You could argue that she is both a narcissist and abusive, but clinically, narcissistic behaviour isn't necessarily paired with abuse.

Again, she might be both. But I don't feel comfortable equating narcissism with domestic violence nor seeing Dennis as a victim of abuse. You might feel different, everyone can have their opinions, but not spread incorrect info.

I just think there's so much concrete stuff to criticise about Rachel. But hey, whatever rocks your boat. If #FreeDennis appeals to y'all, cool. I think he knows exactly what he's doing and how much he's getting out of the relationship, and isn't abused. You can think whatever else.

We aren't talking about domestic violence. We are talking about how narcisstic people behave in relationships. Personally for me I don't necessarily think Rachel would qualify as being a narcissit but I know from your comments that you do and she may well be. By definition a narcisssit does not have empathy for other people and their relationships revolve around manipulation to feed their own fragile sense of self. That is emotionally abusive. No it doesn't look the same as verbal abuse, physical violence, coercive control, but it is very very damaging to one's emotional wellbeing over a long period of time. Gaslighting is also a form of emotional abuse. Something you agree she does to Dennis. Therefore on that measure alone she is abusive to him.

 

[samwhat]

Just listened to the latest podcast. It’s a walk down memory lane of Island Yoga studio as they are closing. They are running out of money in Aruba (guess that new home really was a bargain and was done up with such a tight budget). And now can’t afford to pay staff. Anyway she is manifesting an amazing sale.

Plus turns out it was the pandemic that forced them out of business and the island. No mentions of being cancelled there. But several mentions of the amazing support from the local community.

Reference to some drama that happened this week that Rachel doesn’t want to talk about just yet.

On the plus side no mention of mold AND I guess there is the new baby cow awaiting back home in Sweden, which she misses so much.

She is letting go of a version of herself, making space for a new one. Goodbye Yoga Girl. Hello Tea Lady!

 

[Scoobadob]

turns out it was the pandemic that forced them out of business

Her ever changing versions of the truth. I specifically remember her saying her studio was doing better than ever during the pandemic primarily because of all the staff they got rid of and restructuring the way they did business I suppose

 

[QueenBW]

Just listened to the latest podcast. It’s a walk down memory lane of Island Yoga studio as they are closing. They are running out of money in Aruba (guess that new home really was a bargain and was done up with such a tight budget). And now can’t afford to pay staff. Anyway she is manifesting an amazing sale.

Plus turns out it was the pandemic that forced them out of business and the island. No mentions of being cancelled there. But several mentions of the amazing support from the local community.

Reference to some drama that happened this week that Rachel doesn’t want to talk about just yet.

On the plus side no mention of mold AND I guess there is the new baby cow awaiting back home in Sweden, which she misses so much.

She is letting go of a version of herself, making space for a new one. Goodbye Yoga Girl. Hello Tea Lady!

Huh, so much for how amazing the studio was doing, which she mentioned not long ago.

I personally think that even without being canceled, that place was never going to work without her there. She was the reason why people flew from the US and Canada and Europe to partake in her white-people-almost-exclusively YTT programs. I'm sure some locals also went sometimes, but the bulk of the money probably came from those big trainings, big groups, led by Rachel. And with Rachel pulling back from yoga, I don't see how she could continue to draw crowds for Yoga.

She also seems to love how lazy virtual "courses" like Home allow her to be. She could already be hosting in person trainings, or hybrid trainings, in Sweden, especially since Sweden never shut down the way most of the world did with the pandemic. But she's not doing it. She'd probably say it's because she hasn't found a space but I'm willing to bet Stockholm has spaces for rent. She's just too lazy.

* disclaimer now and forever, since apparently it needed to be said, anything I say here is obviously my personal opinion, I am not diagnosing, given that although I have taken loooong trainings on clinical psychology for my job, I'm not qualified to diagnose people. Much less from postings on the internet. It just gets annoying to type out every time "In my opinion she is X, Y, Z" or "she is very likely a narcissist". It's easier to say "she's X". Obviously this is all an opinion.