Work Anxiety Thread

[KawaiiSloth]

Does anyone else get work anxiety? I've had 4 jobs in the past 5 years and with all of them, I feel extremely anxious before going in, even when i've been working there for quite a while. It's worse the night before and in the morning before I go in, or when i've had a few days off I feel anxious for the whole day before going back.
It's not that I don't enjoy my job, I do, but I can't shake this feeling and no matter how much I try to distract myself, I just can't. Once i'm there, I usually feel okay.
Does anyone else experience this or something similar?

 

[yourmum63]

you’re not alone! i did a full degree and i’m back in retail after an attempt at a ‘big girl job’ my brain just couldn’t comprehend, cried before and during every shift and went on long term sick before quitting. fuck knows what’s wrong with me lol

 

[Eirawen]

Yes I do, but I think at the moment I am new in my job (my 4th week) so I get very anxious each morning in case I do things wrong or in case I am asked to do a task that I am unsure about. But I used to get a little anxious in my last job which I had been in for nearly 4 years I don't know if its because I am older or whether there are higher expectations on people now than there used to be.

 

[iieee]

Yes, I waste all my time off worrying about going back. I have a lot of social anxiety and having to attend meetings and be asked difficult unpredictable questions is something I struggle with a lot. There are a lot of office politics going on at the moment too which have sucked all the enjoyment out of it tbh. I would 100% be done if the thought of applying for another job/being interviewed/meeting new people didn't fill me with horror.

Sorry I have no advice but you're not alone!

 

[sleepingsatellite]

I’ve been working for months on my reducing my stress levels and just when I finally got my fight or flight response settled, I get a manager who is dumping her personal woes here, there and everywhere. It’s not just her personal situation which was awful enough, but we’ll be on a call and suddenly a dramatic situation comes up. It’s more likely that she is looking for a quick exit to the meeting but it’s awful. I know she’s doing it deliberately to avoid being held accountable for not having a clue how to do her job, so I’ve started putting more and more distance between us to protect myself.

(Posted that in another thread but then I found this one which is more appropriate.)

I’ve been in all the headspaces you’ve all described. @Ensay hits the nail on the head about caring so much about doing a good job. I have burned out one time too many and managed to score some free coaching to help me figure out how to prevent it happening again. Happy to share my insights on your experiences if that helps. I’ve gone from a people pleaser needing validation to ‘if I’m really as good as you say I am you’d be offering me a promotion not begging me to work for you on the same terms I am now’. As for the oversharer, I’m just not responding or encouraging her at all, and happy to sit in awkward silence before I figure out how to respond assertively.

 

[Black.bird]

Does anyone else get work anxiety? I've had 4 jobs in the past 5 years and with all of them, I feel extremely anxious before going in, even when i've been working there for quite a while. It's worse the night before and in the morning before I go in, or when i've had a few days off I feel anxious for the whole day before going back.
It's not that I don't enjoy my job, I do, but I can't shake this feeling and no matter how much I try to distract myself, I just can't. Once i'm there, I usually feel okay.
Does anyone else experience this or something similar?

I have felt this in every single job, even as far back as school. As soon as Sunday lunchtime rolled around, the blues would settle in.

As you say, once I get there I find that things are okay; it's just the anticipation that ties my stomach and psyche in knots.

Now I'm working for myself, the same thing happens.

A friend suggested it might be an ADHD trait.

 

[Black.bird]

It's been ages since I posted in this thread. Here I am, back to working for someone else, and yep, the back to work blues have kicked in hard. I've been back for three whole days and have had very little sleep (I'm posting this at 2:55am).

I'm just tossing and turning, worrying about things that are outside of my control but I still worry about them. One of my colleagues broke his anke over the holidays so I am covering his territory until he can drive again - which could be six months (depending on how well he heals - everyone's different). I was meant to be off until late January, but I didn't mind coming back early as I do love my job and being out on the road, but I loathe all the internal politics of my job. Nobody in the office wants to be here, and very few of my clients are back at work (some will return next week, a lot the week after, and some not until February). The accountant wants to talk to me tomorrow about a process improvement he's dreamt up ... honestly, I just wish he'd bugger off. He's probably going to suggest I give up my car and take the bus or something - ha!

 

[Ensay]

I think a lot of people do, though many won't admit it because they see it as a weakness.

It just shows you care about your work and doing a good job, which is why the anticipation of anything going wrong fills you with dread.

I used to get it more than I do now. I found Headspace helped me (meditation basically) as it stopped my mind wandering to the future. If you focus on the here and now then you'll be less likely to stress out about the future.

 

[Pebble_100]

New to the thread!
I've struggled with every job I've had, sometimes the anxiety has been major but even when I've been happy in the role and confident with it I've still experienced some anxiety. My life outside work has had peaks and troughs with anxiety too.
At the moment I'm struggling with anxiety a lot in general. Although my job is great on paper I'm struggling with it and fed up. I've been in the role for over a year now and things that I previously found easy have become anxiety inducing again. I'm not sure why, I'm not sure if its my life impacting the job or vice versa.
Sorry for the diatribe.. sending support to everyone going through this. Wish we could all have a mysterious inheritance so we don't have to work anymore!

 

[Yogaqueen]

I’ve been working for months on my reducing my stress levels and just when I finally got my fight or flight response settled, I get a manager who is dumping her personal woes here, there and everywhere. It’s not just her personal situation which was awful enough, but we’ll be on a call and suddenly a dramatic situation comes up. It’s more likely that she is looking for a quick exit to the meeting but it’s awful. I know she’s doing it deliberately to avoid being held accountable for not having a clue how to do her job, so I’ve started putting more and more distance between us to protect myself.

(Posted that in another thread but then I found this one which is more appropriate.)

I’ve been in all the headspaces you’ve all described. @Ensay hits the nail on the head about caring so much about doing a good job. I have burned out one time too many and managed to score some free coaching to help me figure out how to prevent it happening again. Happy to share my insights on your experiences if that helps. I’ve gone from a people pleaser needing validation to ‘if I’m really as good as you say I am you’d be offering me a promotion not begging me to work for you on the same terms I am now’. As for the oversharer, I’m just not responding or encouraging her at all, and happy to sit in awkward silence before I figure out how to respond assertively.

if you're happy to share I'd love to hear more about how you've gone from a people pleaser to the other end of the spectrum! Sounds fantastic and really pleased for you! As an eternal people pleaser it's nice to hear it's possible to change!

 

[Ensay]

Thank you for your reply and you're definitely right. The job isn't for me, my gut told me that before xmas. But i thought id handle it for a bit. But I think I've massively been triggered by being back in a place that was unhealthy for me in the past, and mentally I'm back 5 years ago. Which makes everything worse. I think I raced after the money and perks before considering the reality. The job market isn't great so I think I made a snap decision.

I think there may also be delayed anxiety from two years of close family health problems and caring for them.

Yeah that's understandable. I've seen it from the other side, where we took on an employee who initially struggled with the role but it was clear he was taking a step up because he needed the money.

If it provides any consolation, we gave him support and helped him address the gaps in his competency and now he's still with us and doing much better. Any good employer should do that.

 

[River_bri]

I do aswell,but it's mainly because my manager isn't nice to me in particular,for whatever reason no matter what I do or how hard I work he always has something negative to say

 

[Ladida90]

I know exactly what you mean. It’s so sad that no one is talking about this. I dealt with morning anxiety and morning sickness (not pregnancy-related) for years. It’s a completely irrational fear, and it was hard to overcome. A supportive work environment sure helps.

My anxiety did go away at some point, probably because I got older and stopped caring about what others think of me. I’m also in a much more comfortable situation now, and I can lean on my husband a lot, so I’m not afraid of losing a job or doing things wrong. I’m following this thread, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to give you any good advice.

 

[sleepingsatellite]

if you're happy to share I'd love to hear more about how you've gone from a people pleaser to the other end of the spectrum! Sounds fantastic and really pleased for you! As an eternal people pleaser it's nice to hear it's possible to change!

Thank you and yes, it can be done! I’ve taken advantage of free coaching that is available at work to help me navigate it at work, but for me personally the people pleasing was down to a chaotic upbringing and an unhealthy family relationship and when I had a beeakthrough with that it clicked into place for work. My life has really simplified down as a result, I’ve dropped a lot of connections where it was all one sided.

I’m having a run of bad luck when it comes to the people I work under (or is it just that all bosses are bonkers now) but it’s not until the latest one that I have been able to put boundaries and make it clear their flakiness is unacceptable and I won’t be enabling it.

 

[sleepingsatellite]

Thank you and yes, it can be done! I’ve taken advantage of free coaching that is available at work to help me navigate it at work, but for me personally the people pleasing was down to a chaotic upbringing and an unhealthy family relationship and when I had a beeakthrough with that it clicked into place for work. My life has really simplified down as a result, I’ve dropped a lot of connections where it was all one sided.

I’m having a run of bad luck when it comes to the people I work under (or is it just that all bosses are bonkers now) but it’s not until the latest one that I have been able to put boundaries and make it clear their flakiness is unacceptable and I won’t be enabling it.

This post has not aged well. I can only describe my work as a complete and utter binfire right now, but I'm very very grateful that I can leave it behind at the end of each day and collect a salary. Hope everyone else is okay

 

[Ensay]

I think most of us sometimes have the dreaded 'imposter syndrome' at work where we feel that we're just about managing to get by but that just one small thing could bring it all toppling down.

And, what's worse, is that sometimes you feel as though everyone else is fine and that you're the only one suffering. However, if you have the courage to raise the subject with a trusted colleague, you'll likely find they also have similar feelings at times; we're just all good as pretending everything's fine.

I often feel like everyone else is more organised than me, as I tend to jot things down in notebooks rather than in Excel. But when I speak to people who I think are more organised they'll tell me they don't see themselves that way and that they think I'm really organised. I think we're always harsh on ourselves when we care about doing a good job and that's where stress and anxiety can start.

 

[Mark81]

Thought I'd revive this thread. Started a new job before Christmas, usual nerves but fine. But since half way through Christmas break anxiety has built and built. I've gone back to a company I worked for for over a decade, and when I left before I was close to burnout. And I think coming back was a big mistake. I'm anxious all the time, not sleeping, teary, losing my confidence and so on. Seeing doctor this week.

I've always had moments of anxiety or being down. But always manageable, but this just feels like it's overwhelmed me.

Makes it worse as I've always prided myself on being a good employee, so looking at leaving not much more than a month from starting, just makes me feel more anxious.

Also wondering what I will do career wise, maybe I'm burnt out from office jobs

 

[Mark81]

New to the thread!
I've struggled with every job I've had, sometimes the anxiety has been major but even when I've been happy in the role and confident with it I've still experienced some anxiety. My life outside work has had peaks and troughs with anxiety too.
At the moment I'm struggling with anxiety a lot in general. Although my job is great on paper I'm struggling with it and fed up. I've been in the role for over a year now and things that I previously found easy have become anxiety inducing again. I'm not sure why, I'm not sure if its my life impacting the job or vice versa.
Sorry for the diatribe.. sending support to everyone going through this. Wish we could all have a mysterious inheritance so we don't have to work anymore!

No you say what you feel, might help to write it down. It's so exhausting. It's quite new to me at to this degree, and it's chipping away at my confidence and just scrambling my brain. I've gone from feeling positive and confident in my life, to questioning everything

 

[Mark81]

Obviously I don't know your situation, but is your current anxiety caused by how your job currently is, or more by you thinking about how it was when you used to work there?

I just wondered why you felt OK before Christmas (other than the usual nerves) but then your anxiety built when you were on annual leave and not at work? So perhaps returning to work there brought back memories of your previous job and the anxiety has come with that, rather than feeling stressed by your current role.

It's only a thought, because you know the situation better than anyone else and I'm not asking you to divulge more (the above are more rhetorical questions).

That said, if you are finding it unbearably anxious then it's not worth staying there. Your health is more important. I get that leaving not that long after starting makes you anxious as well, but it's not that uncommon. You can never truly know what a job is like until you start it and many people find, after giving a job a chance for a few weeks, that it's actually not for them.

Thank you for your reply and you're definitely right. The job isn't for me, my gut told me that before xmas. But i thought id handle it for a bit. But I think I've massively been triggered by being back in a place that was unhealthy for me in the past, and mentally I'm back 5 years ago. Which makes everything worse. I think I raced after the money and perks before considering the reality. The job market isn't great so I think I made a snap decision.

I think there may also be delayed anxiety from two years of close family health problems and caring for them.

 

[Black.bird]

^ Hahaha - silly accountant's "process improvement" involves reducing MY commission to prop up salaried employees so those who aren't eligible for any sort of bonus, suddenly take a share in "profits". Get outta here.

I asked him why he'd taken it upon himself to discuss something with me that surely should come from my boss ... to which he looked sheepish. I then asked if he had approached any of the other territory managers (fancy title - they rolled up several roles into one to make us do it all) - to which he said no, because he thought he'd use me as a sounding board first as I'm the "most sensible". Huh. As well as being wet behind the ears, he clearly has no idea about anything really ... perhaps he thought I'd roll over and agree it was a fantastic idea? In the interests of "transparency" I dropped a note to my country manager letting him know; he was appalled at the suggestion and the gall of this accountant.

For the record, I don't boast about my commission (I would never do that) - the only people who would be aware of what I make are those in the accounts department, my boss and the GM. I'm also quite a bit older than most people in my workplace, with a 30+ year career so if I give off the impression of being "rich" (I doubt I do), then it's thanks to many years of working. Also, my salary is low - very low - but my commission is fair, and it's commensurate with my effort and results. I suspect gossipers in the office caught wind of the fact that I privately gifted my departing sales coordinator (she was made redundant, which I'm fuming about), a sizeable bonus out of my own commission because she deserved it and I just know our paths will cross again one day.

Up until our restructure last year, there was a really good, fun, hardworking bunch of people at my workplace, but now even the more upbeat of those people have become gossipy and complain about everything. It's really tiring and is getting me down.