Work anxieties - a place to vent & share advice

[greenvelvet]

Hi everyone. I’ve often wanted a place like this to vent - not about hating your job specifically but about anxieties around it

For example - is there some project that’s worrying you, is there a lot of pressure on, are you struggling to juggle it with other responsibilities? Or maybe you’re being treated unfairly, clashing with colleagues, or even wanting to take a career break and travel or change paths? Are you wanting to ask for a raise, a promotion, raise an issue with HR but are bricking it?

Happy to hear people poke fun at themselves or chat more seriously about it.

I’m suddenly awash with anxiety about going back tomorrow myself! I forgot to do something important before Christmas and I have to get my (more senior) colleagues to commit to a summer school my organisation is doing

 

[no-no]

Thank you for starting this thread. My anxiety is higher than usual due to work; I’m not performing as well as I could be and as I’ve not got a lot going on out of work it’s affecting me more. I put many hours in but don’t seem to have much to show for it, and “showing our worth” keeps getting mentioned. There are issues with systems not being available and there isn’t a way around it. I find it hard to network when I’m stressing about output so it’s like I’m falling short on all fronts. If the tools to do my job were available it would be on me, instead I feel like I’m in some weird limbo trying to not look like I’ve always got a (legitimate) excuse whilst turning water into wine.

 

[Pinksy33]

Just saw this by chance. All over Xmas work kept popping up in my mind. Just an overwhelming feeling of not coping , I had been crying in work on off before Xmas, I’m pretty sure others noticed. I feel it’s hard to try and get my job done and keep myself together

 

[greenvelvet]

Thank you for starting this thread. My anxiety is higher than usual due to work; I’m not performing as well as I could be and as I’ve not got a lot going on out of work it’s affecting me more. I put many hours in but don’t seem to have much to show for it, and “showing our worth” keeps getting mentioned. There are issues with systems not being available and there isn’t a way around it. I find it hard to network when I’m stressing about output so it’s like I’m falling short on all fronts. If the tools to do my job were available it would be on me, instead I feel like I’m in some weird limbo trying to not look like I’ve always got a (legitimate) excuse whilst turning water into wine.

This sounds really frustrating and also like you’re doing the best you can with crappy tools. Surely they should be fixing the system before expecting miracles from you - hope they’re prioritising fixing it rather than just expecting you to carry more than your fair share. Are your colleagues in the same boat (other than what’s happening outside work)?

Just saw this by chance. All over Xmas work kept popping up in my mind. Just an overwhelming feeling of not coping , I had been crying in work on off before Xmas, I’m pretty sure others noticed. I feel it’s hard to try and get my job done and keep myself together

It’s so tit that work’s been haunting you over the holidays - hate it so much when it’s this nagging feeling in your head when you should be switched off. What’s happening?

Can they provide you with some support if it’s stressful? For what it’s worth I think you can do it but you need a supportive environment. if it’s getting to this point, something isn’t right. Decent management at the very least requires making sure people feel able to work without getting to the point of tears.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

My anxieties lie around the social aspect of work. I'm a teacher and love shutting myself in the classroom teaching the children (who I love dearly). I avoid the staffroom like the plague!

It's a teaching training day today, so no pupils meaning I have to spend the day listening to everyone's bullshit

 

[greenvelvet]

My anxieties lie around the social aspect of work. I'm a teacher and love shutting myself in the classroom teaching the children (who I love dearly). I avoid the staffroom like the plague!

It's a teaching training day today, so no pupils meaning I have to spend the day listening to everyone's bullshit

It’s good that you enjoy the teaching portion and working with the pupils! Are the social anxieties specific to your colleagues or are you quite socially anxious in workplaces generally? Is it easy to keep yourself to yourself other than training days?

I’ve worked in schools and found it was pretty hard to avoid talking to other staff…training days are so full on aren’t they!! I remember being gobsmacked at having to spend the entire day doing the training speaking to colleagues any time there was a training day and having literally 0 time to do anything else. It was so socially exhausting. So it sounds unlikely but I hope you do get some time to squirrel away and set up for lessons (?)!

good luck today everyone

 

[shadowcat5]

I am having this problem today. I am lucky as I have a wonderful boss who gives me the option to work from home but I felt like I had brick on my chest this morning.

 

[Pinksy33]

Today not as bad as I thought. The saying when you worry about something and spend all your time thinking about it, you effectively go through it twice! Hope everyone had a good day

 

[What's your point]

My work issue is a work colleague that is such a bully that it makes the work place toxic.

She doesn't do it to me as she is on the same pay scale but less experienced in most areas of the job so she relies on me for help (I'd also tell her to duck off if she tried it)

But she is vile to other staff members and casual staff that work occasional shifts and is soooo rude to customers.

Managers never deal with things appropriately so it is a waste of time reporting her.

I've decided to try her at her own game and not help her anymore.

She is retiring shortly so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[greenvelvet]

I am having this problem today. I am lucky as I have a wonderful boss who gives me the option to work from home but I felt like I had brick on my chest this morning.

Sorry to hear it’s been weighing on you. How did it go today? It’s great you’ve got a supportive boss. That can make all the difference in the world

Today not as bad as I thought. The saying when you worry about something and spend all your time thinking about it, you effectively go through it twice! Hope everyone had a good day

Well done for facing it today! It’s true that you can torture yourself with anxiety. It tends to snowball a bit doesn’t it, until it’s bigger then the problem itself. At least it can be somewhat reassuring when the worrying was more stressful than the event itself because then it feels more manageable than you’d expected. you’ve got this! Hope tomorrow is better still

My work issue is a work colleague that is such a bully that it makes the work place toxic.

She doesn't do it to me as she is on the same pay scale but less experienced in most areas of the job so she relies on me for help (I'd also tell her to duck off if she tried it)

But she is vile to other staff members and casual staff that work occasional shifts and is soooo rude to customers.

Managers never deal with things appropriately so it is a waste of time reporting her.

I've decided to try her at her own game and not help her anymore.

She is retiring shortly so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

God how nasty. The way people behave can be shocking! It sounds like you’re pretty headstrong in that you’re not letting her get the better of you.

Sounds like she’s making a right twit of herself. I reckon she is dying to retire so it’ll be a win win for everyone once she does leave. Only a couple days more left this week and then can’t be long till you get rid of her

 

[Vanilla Sorbet]

Dunno if this really counts but it’s giving me a lot of anxiety so thought it was the best place to post it…..had an interview for a job (more money, better work environment & a step up from current role) in early January, went super well. Hiring manager told me straight off the bat that they’d hopefully have a decision that week and if not, it would be first week of early February because he was off on holiday. Fair enough. Start of the month rolls around and nothing until the 3rd when an admin assistant emails me to apologise for the delay and says a decision will be made and relayed to all applicants within the next 10 days - but hopefully earlier! Doesn’t matter if she meant working days or not, that deadline has now passed.

Do you think it’s worth emailing for a follow up to chase? I did email back thanking her initially and confirming I was still interested. It’s not a facelsss company/org but it’s also not a tiny wee place with a small team, I’d say they have around 70-100 employees - so I’m not sure if that would annoy them or deter them.

The reason I’m asking is because I’ve been offered a (shitter) job elsewhere that I think I’ll accept just to escape my situ.

But I don’t wanna accept that and the to check references etc for the other place then hire me and I end up chickening out on them or annoying current work twice also don’t wanna reject my current offer in the event I don’t get this job and I don’t really wanna wait around until something else decent crops up to go through the application process.

 

[Megansnarkle]

Dunno if this really counts but it’s giving me a lot of anxiety so thought it was the best place to post it…..had an interview for a job (more money, better work environment & a step up from current role) in early January, went super well. Hiring manager told me straight off the bat that they’d hopefully have a decision that week and if not, it would be first week of early February because he was off on holiday. Fair enough. Start of the month rolls around and nothing until the 3rd when an admin assistant emails me to apologise for the delay and says a decision will be made and relayed to all applicants within the next 10 days - but hopefully earlier! Doesn’t matter if she meant working days or not, that deadline has now passed.

Do you think it’s worth emailing for a follow up to chase? I did email back thanking her initially and confirming I was still interested. It’s not a facelsss company/org but it’s also not a tiny wee place with a small team, I’d say they have around 70-100 employees - so I’m not sure if that would annoy them or deter them.

The reason I’m asking is because I’ve been offered a (shitter) job elsewhere that I think I’ll accept just to escape my situ.

But I don’t wanna accept that and the to check references etc for the other place then hire me and I end up chickening out on them or annoying current work twice also don’t wanna reject my current offer in the event I don’t get this job and I don’t really wanna wait around until something else decent crops up to go through the application process.

Yes, chase. This other offer is a great reason to get in touch.

 

[Vanilla Sorbet]

Yes, chase. This other offer is a great reason to get in touch.

Think just a casual follow up will be ok? Don’t wanna lay all my cards on the table

 

[Megansnarkle]

Think just a casual follow up will be ok? Don’t wanna lay all my cards on the table

Why not? What do you have to lose? Tell them you are holding another offer but that you preferred the role you interviewed for with them and ask for when you can expect to receive a response, as you will need to respond to your other offer.

 

[greenvelvet]

Agree with Snarkle - I think it’s perfectly normal to email them as Snarkle directed especially as the deadline has passed and you’ve got another offer. Sorry to state the obvious but have you checked your junk mail?

As far as the other company goes, I’d contact them within the next few days saying you were pleased to have received the offer or something to that effect and say you’ll be in touch soon with your answer. If your preferred option doesn’t work out, who knows, you might like the second choice! I wasn’t sure at all of the post I’m in now when I got the offer but it’s by far my most fulfilling work experience so far Good luck either way!!

(also welcome! completely cool to post interview and new job stuff here ha)

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

My old manager just left (we are small team, just me, another woman who is 2nd and our new team leader).

the new team leader is vile. I came in today and got pulled into a meeting with them as apparently I have to run all my decisions by them, which is fine, if they didn’t speak to me like tit on their shoe. I’m way too old to be spoken to like that.

I had a panic attack in the toilets and I threw up and I’m just so worked up now.

 

[happylife32]

I have imposter syndrome. I know my role. But I panic that I’ve not done something or done something wrong. Then I go back and double check. Even checking my emails at home which is a bad habit I need to break.

 

[Greenfly125]

I have imposter syndrome thoughts a lot, which runs alongside undiagnosed anxiety and perfectionism. I constantly feel like I’m going to be ‘found out’ by a Client, like they’re going to trip me up on my knowledge and experience. I feel like a fraud, and don’t have a background worthy of being in the role that I am in.

I go through periods of procrastination, and then over work myself to compensate, often to the brink of burnout. My anxiety and perfectionism prevents me from doing the work that I know I’m good at, prevents me from asking for help, and if I don’t feel like I can get it perfect the first time I will actively avoid doing it, and it all backs up.

I regularly avoid opening emails, as I get anxious about the content, particularly when I know that it could be negative feedback. It’s one of many habits I need to break.

I broke at work yesterday. I got a piece of negative feedback from a Client via a senior colleague, and it was deserved as I’ve been doing an awful job of managing workloads. I then tend to hyper focus on the negativity, rather than taking any positives from the other things that I had done that day. I just couldn’t cope any longer.

I get positive feedback from my colleagues regularly, I know I’m good at my job, I just can’t get these deep rooted feelings of being a fraud and being anxious about work under control

 

[TheSlayer]

I have had imposter syndrome for oooh, probably 40 years.

When I am in a bad way I draw in something I did back in my barmaid days after being told I looked like a scared mouse.

I fake it, BAFTA winning performance. I have learnt how to prevaricate long enough to find the answer or someone who does know. I play nice, kind, attentive to those I know can help longer term. I bookmark the tit out of stuff on the intranet that could be useful and find all the obscure intranet sites externally that may give me the answers


When that all fails (as sometimes it does) I look around mentally at colleagues and think “who out of all of you could do any better?”

The answer is always not because I’m bad, it’s because they are dealing with something different.

We all have our USPs, so play to them as much as you can.

 

[Beepboop1122]

I’m glad I found this thread as I definitely need a rant about work at the moment. I work in a really highly pressurised, under-resourced organisation. I’ve been in this role for coming up to 18 months and at first, I thought I was just finding it challenging as it was new to me but now I’ve realised that it’s just the job. I am constantly fire fighting, usually working really long hours with minimal breaks, I barely eat during the week as I found taking a lunch break generally means I need to work longer at the end of the day to get the work done. I really want to leave but every job advert I come across which I am remotely interested in requires me to effectively write a full blown essay as part of the application process and I barely have the energy on evenings/weekends to do anything except sleep. It’s really reached a fever pitch this week as I had such a chaotic, intense week and then I’ve gone into the bank holiday weekend and spent the last two days so far being unable to disconnect and stop thinking about work. I also had work related dreams the last two nights which doesn’t help! I just keep thinking about all of the work that’s coming up in the next few weeks which needs to be done and all I feel is anxious and low. One of the only positives is that my manager is really wonderful and does their best to be supportive but there is only so much they can do as they are also stressed and stretched to their limit. I know I just need to sit down and put in the work to submit applications for some other roles otherwise I am never going to get out of it and am probably going to burn myself out