Women with ADHD - diagnosis in adulthood

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Just seen this as always found her entertaining
Makes you feel so much better when it’s not just you eh? Christ if she can feel these things with all the money & help she has no wonder I’m in bits!
Wish Closer hadn’t said it was a behavioural disorder mind…
 
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Reading everything here is me basically going 'Yes, yes, yes, me too, uh-huh, yes'. I'm seeing a new Psychiatrist who has mentioned ADHD to me in the initial appointment, But even if I don't get diagnosed I think that the resources out there on handling ADHD and executive function stuff are going to be helpful. I feel so overwhelmed all of the time.

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories/experiences.
 
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I completely relate to what everyone has been saying about the work stuff. The feeling so bored and frustrated with routine and mundane life stuff, but also just wanting to stay on the sofa, it’s absolutely mad.

Most of the time I sit and think, duck, is this my life? Everyday? Forever? And it feels really depressing, it’s like I’m craving adventure and spontaneous things all the time but instead I’m in a never ending cycle of chronic boredom.

My boyfriend asked me what I could do for a hobby or during the day when the girls are at school and I couldn’t tell him, because there is nothing, I get bored of stuff too easily. The only thing I could do all day everyday is shopping and impulsively buying stuff I don’t need, or stuff the kids don’t need. And impulsively eating 😂
 
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Most of the time I sit and think, duck, is this my life? Everyday? Forever? And it feels really depressing, it’s like I’m craving adventure and spontaneous things all the time but instead I’m in a never ending cycle of chronic boredom.
Have you been reading my diary? 🤣

ETA. Lol, I have about 10 diaries that were always going to revolutionise my life. All of them expired and pristine. But expensive ffs.
 
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I would love to not have that impulse to interrupt or to be blunt, or talk about my own experience over someone else, it’s not because I think I’m great or interesting, I just can’t help but do it!
Now I’ve got PIP I want to go private for an assessment, in a few months, as will get a hefty back payment.
This is me all the time with everyone. Before work meetings I’ll tell myself to stay quiet. I thought virtual meetings would help due to covid/working from home but no, I still do it. Then I replay the meeting or conversation in my head and get embarrassed with how much I talked. There are co-workers who never talk in meetings but I always seem to have a reaction to almost every topic.

Also impulsive texting😬 There are days when I really want to talk to certain people but they don’t read and/or reply to my text because everyone has their own lives of course. I’ll follow up the next day or two asking how they’re doing, the general “what’s up” text. Then the shame of looking needy sets in and I regret reaching out in the first place. I’ve been reading about rejection sensitivity and I think it’s all true. Add in anxiety, over thinking things, and intrusive thoughts and it’s easy for my brain to start telling me that everyone thinks I’m “too much” and don’t want to talk to me.

❤ To you all
 
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Have you been reading my diary? 🤣

ETA. Lol, I have about 10 diaries that were always going to revolutionise my life. All of them expired and pristine. But expensive ffs.
ha! The amount of unused notebooks and planners I have sitting around 😬 One day I'll use them all? Or not. 😅
 
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ha! The amount of unused notebooks and planners I have sitting around 😬 One day I'll use them all? Or not. 😅
Same 😂 even got a really cool to do list for the fridge a few months ago. It’s still not been written on.

Does anyone else feel like they’re constantly using food for the dopamine hit? I didn’t realise it before but I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m doing and it’s caused and causing so many weight issues!
 
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ha! The amount of unused notebooks and planners I have sitting around 😬 One day I'll use them all? Or not. 😅
I bought a really nice planner last year because everyone says it’s essential for ADHD. Then I realized I don’t have a ton to plan so it’s been sitting on my desk looking pretty ever since 😂
 
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I completely relate to what everyone has been saying about the work stuff. The feeling so bored and frustrated with routine and mundane life stuff, but also just wanting to stay on the sofa, it’s absolutely mad.

Most of the time I sit and think, duck, is this my life? Everyday? Forever? And it feels really depressing, it’s like I’m craving adventure and spontaneous things all the time but instead I’m in a never ending cycle of chronic boredom.

My boyfriend asked me what I could do for a hobby or during the day when the girls are at school and I couldn’t tell him, because there is nothing, I get bored of stuff too easily. The only thing I could do all day everyday is shopping and impulsively buying stuff I don’t need, or stuff the kids don’t need. And impulsively eating 😂
We sound like we are in a similar situation to each other with our daughters being at school. I have the same thoughts about the state of my life. I dread anyone asking me what I do during the day, what would I say? I’d just have to lie and say “oh I’m always cleaning and keeping busy around the house there’s always something to do”. Sad really.

My main hobby is playing video games, but it’s so easy to completely lose track of time that I have to reign myself in a lot and remind myself that it’s not ok to just sit and game all day until pick up time. I need to be a grown up and contribute something to family life. I’ve been thinking about joining an exercise class like swim aerobics or something not too heavy like that because I’m very unfit, just to give me something to do out of the house. I figured a class wouldn’t be too bad with my anxiety as you’re there to listen to the instructor not chat to people and maybe that would help build my confidence again and help me with the whole going back to work thing.

Idk though I do feel guilty that I even have time to indulge such hobbies. But it’s not like i’m enjoying myself here, I’m literally trying to figure out how to get through life so I can get to a point where I am a capable of doing what I’m ‘supposed’ to do.

I was thinking earlier about the olden days and how things may have been much physically harder back then, but nowadays things are mentally and socially harder imo. There’s just so much expectation of what a good, functioning member of society needs to be. Especially as a woman you are pulled in all directions and there are so many social rules that don’t fully make sense to me/are stupid. I don’t feel like I can live up to it. Not sure if that’s an adhd thing or a depression thing?
 
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We sound like we are in a similar situation to each other with our daughters being at school. I have the same thoughts about the state of my life. I dread anyone asking me what I do during the day, what would I say? I’d just have to lie and say “oh I’m always cleaning and keeping busy around the house there’s always something to do”. Sad really.

My main hobby is playing video games, but it’s so easy to completely lose track of time that I have to reign myself in a lot and remind myself that it’s not ok to just sit and game all day until pick up time. I need to be a grown up and contribute something to family life. I’ve been thinking about joining an exercise class like swim aerobics or something not too heavy like that because I’m very unfit, just to give me something to do out of the house. I figured a class wouldn’t be too bad with my anxiety as you’re there to listen to the instructor not chat to people and maybe that would help build my confidence again and help me with the whole going back to work thing.

Idk though I do feel guilty that I even have time to indulge such hobbies. But it’s not like i’m enjoying myself here, I’m literally trying to figure out how to get through life so I can get to a point where I am a capable of doing what I’m ‘supposed’ to do.

I was thinking earlier about the olden days and how things may have been much physically harder back then, but nowadays things are mentally and socially harder imo. There’s just so much expectation of what a good, functioning member of society needs to be. Especially as a woman you are pulled in all directions and there are so many social rules that don’t fully make sense to me/are stupid. I don’t feel like I can live up to it. Not sure if that’s an adhd thing or a depression thing?
I completely get you, the one main thing I enjoy is the computer, I think it’s because it gives a constant stimulant if that makes sense? Probably the same as you with gaming, it’s providing you with the constant stimulation your ADHD brain needs.

I mean in this ideal world of neurotypical people as parents we’d be up and out every day doing errands or housework. Errands and housework bore me to tears, sometimes I’ll know something needs doing and I JUST CANT DO IT! Mundane life like that doesn’t suit me, I need adventure and spontaneity - hence the computer/laptop obsession for me.
I spent a lot of my years thinking it was depression but it never really fitted me, it’s only when I read more I realised it’s the ADHD and lack of dopamine and the constant need to be stimulated.

So yeah I sit at home a lot enjoying my laptop and all the wonders of the internet until something else more exciting happens lol. I’ve never been able to hold down a job for long anyway, but right now I have daughter with learning disabilities and one with ADHD so I spend my life trying to cope.
 
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I think a good part of lockdown(s) was the full acceptance of technology, finally. Computers needed for schooling, video games to pass the time, and a plethora of video calling platforms. I never thought I’d see the day when everyone wanted/needed a webcam. They were flying off the shelves. Now every new laptop has one built in. I remember when that was only an option for the more expensive models 😂

As for constant stimulation. I I need background noise all the time. I’ll keep the tv or turn on white noise. I listen to podcasts if I’m doing a boring mundane task for work or while I’m cooking or cleaning. It perks my brain up and makes the task more interesting.

@Bitofthebubbly I noticed your avatar is Arthur Morgan. A good choice. He’s a handsome boah!
 
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I am not a big fan of self diagnosis but I have been wondering if I have some ADHD/ADD problems.

1) I can't focus on things for very long (currently have 8 different tabs open, all related to different topics and subjects and my brain wants me to open more and look at more different things too)

2) I hyperfixate on things massively for a short period of time - the only hobby I've got that isn't a hyperfixation really is running, but everything else I do I do for about 3 weeks then I get bored of it. I'll remember it a few months/years later and go back to it but I never do anything with enough consistency to be 'good' at anything.

3) I cannot concentrate when there's more than one thing going on. I have to pause Youtube/physically turn off the TV if my OH is trying to talk to me, even if it's about what we're watching.

4) I can't do anything without something else going on. In the past five minutes, whilst trying to write this post, I've had two different youtube videos on, checked my instagram twice, scrolled through facebook and gone to make a cup of coffee.

5) I struggle to sleep at night and often can't stop 'racing thoughts'.

6) Sitting down to relax actually causes me to feel really anxious, I always have to be doing *something* and if I'm not I feel really upset or sick about it (classic example is my annual leave - if I have four days off, for instance, I feel like I'm wasting it if I'm not doing something with it, but also at the back of my mind I just want some time to stop and not do anything but my brain hates that idea).

7) If I'm presented with too many tasks at once, I very quickly get overwhelmed which leads to nothing getting done (with housework I'm starting to get around this by doing a system where I block out 30 - 45 minutes and focus on one part of the room, but as soon as that part is done I'm done).

8) My working memory is appalling and I will forget things people have said to me seconds after it was said, or where I've put something that I've just been holding. I'm not so bad at this at work because I've been 'trained' to do things in a certain way but if you ask me to switch it up and not go about a work task in the rigid manner that I've been taught, I forget lots of things and have to go back and re do it.

9) I have multiple planners and diaries on the go and I'm still never truly aware of my comings and goings (bit tongue in cheek that one!)

10) I am awful at time management - time doesn't seem to hold much of a logical flow for me. When I get up for work I have to get up about 30 minutes before I leave the house which is just enough time to get up, shower/toilet, brush teeth, get dressed and get out the door. If I was to get up 45 minutes before I had to leave the house I would 100% be late because I'd get distracted and lose track of time. I'd think "Oh I can put a load of washing on!" and then spend 20 minutes wandering the house putting the washing on, picking up random bits along the way etc.
 
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Well it sounds like it could be, although working memory and executive function can be impaired by other things like dyslexia.
 
Well it sounds like it could be, although working memory and executive function can be impaired by other things like dyslexia.
Definitely not dyslexic, I'm rather anal about SPaG, a very quick reader and read books like they're water if I'm hyperfixated on them (to the point where I have to stop reading because they literally consume my entire conciousness).

I struggle a lot with object permanence especially if I'm stressed out too, which I understand is a 'classic' ADHD/ADD thing.

Interestingly I do also suspect some element of Dyscalculia (the numbers side of dyslexia) - numbers mean next to sod all to me, I struggle to do basic maths sums and can't retain numerical information very easily.

I have no idea how to explore this further and don't want to be seen as 'creating a problem' but equally from my line of work I know that a diagnosis can be really useful in getting to grips with coping mechanisms etc.
 
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Definitely not dyslexic, I'm rather anal about SPaG, a very quick reader and read books like they're water if I'm hyperfixated on them (to the point where I have to stop reading because they literally consume my entire conciousness).

I struggle a lot with object permanence especially if I'm stressed out too, which I understand is a 'classic' ADHD/ADD thing.

Interestingly I do also suspect some element of Dyscalculia (the numbers side of dyslexia) - numbers mean next to sod all to me, I struggle to do basic maths sums and can't retain numerical information very easily.

I have no idea how to explore this further and don't want to be seen as 'creating a problem' but equally from my line of work I know that a diagnosis can be really useful in getting to grips with coping mechanisms etc.

Definitely see your GP. Are you in the UK? It is a very long process so start as soon as you can!

I went private. I know I’m lucky to be able to do that but if you are able to I would recommend you do. I am not rich by any means and I had very conflicting feelings about private healthcare but ultimately I was falling to bits and struggling to cope.

I was at a point where I was very sure they would give me a diagnosis though. I might not have been so keen to spend the money if I had doubts.

Good luck! X
 
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I’ve just read this entire thread and I cannot tell you how emotional it’s made me. I feel 99.9% of all of these things on a daily basis but never given any thought to it and just thought it was normal but as I get older and I’ve had my own children I realise it’s definitely not. It’s so nice to know even without any form of diagnosis that I am not alone. Sending love to you all Xx
 
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Yes I do.
somedays better than others. Depends on what I’m doing
thank you for your reply. I’ve been diagnosed since I was a teen. I’ve always really struggled with concentration and I am always all over the place and I have real struggling regulating my emotions. I’ve always decided to not take medication but the older I get the more I struggle so I am considering it if it will help with these symptoms.
 
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