I’ve become a lot worse at housework during lockdown because I live alone. I just seem to let it all build up, even when I make lists, because the only way I can actually get myself to stay on top of it is if I have a deadline to it like having somebody come to visit which obviously doesn’t happen at the moment. There’s no accountability therefore there’s no urgency either and my brain just doesn’t seem to understand that it’s stuff that needs continuously doing.
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Following because I’m neurodivergent AF and don’t know what fits me best: autism or ADHD or both (I think it’s both). I’m 40 and realising all this has released me from so much self-loathing, I can’t even describe it.
I have one diagnosed autistic child and one being assessed soon, so the genes are definitely there! My FIL is autistic for sure and my husband has lots of traits (not that he’d be prepared to admit it).
I have one diagnosed autistic child and one being assessed soon, so the genes are definitely there! My FIL is autistic for sure and my husband has lots of traits (not that he’d be prepared to admit it).
An example of what a liability I am re. losing things.
I lose things constantly. I lose the thing I had in my hand 30 seconds ago, with no memory of having put it down. Usually my phone/glasses but it could be anything.
Tonight I've lost my dinner. My husband and I were eating at different times tonight - him early and me late. I had a twin pack of noodles... he's eaten one and I don't know where I put the other one. Have looked in cupboards, the fridge (!) and now I'm thinking... did I put them in the bin? So I can't have the sodding stir fry I've already started making, because I've lost my noodles.
I lose things constantly. I lose the thing I had in my hand 30 seconds ago, with no memory of having put it down. Usually my phone/glasses but it could be anything.
Tonight I've lost my dinner. My husband and I were eating at different times tonight - him early and me late. I had a twin pack of noodles... he's eaten one and I don't know where I put the other one. Have looked in cupboards, the fridge (!) and now I'm thinking... did I put them in the bin? So I can't have the sodding stir fry I've already started making, because I've lost my noodles.
Just watching Real Housewives of Cheshire (insomnia) Tanya Bardsley just been on saying she has been diagnosed with ADHD and everything makes sense and she was always on anxiety/depression meds which didn’t help.
On the one hand I like that more high profile women are being diagnosed and talking about it. Before pandemic, Shappi Khorsandi was also taking about being recently diagnosed. At the same time I can already see people thinking ADHD is the new “thing” so if I mention it I will be jumping on the bandwagon.
On the one hand I like that more high profile women are being diagnosed and talking about it. Before pandemic, Shappi Khorsandi was also taking about being recently diagnosed. At the same time I can already see people thinking ADHD is the new “thing” so if I mention it I will be jumping on the bandwagon.
I get what you mean. That bothers me too but I can’t let it hold me back from sorting out my own health. I think it’s partly to do with more awareness and that research has progressed so much in the last few decades so many adult women are realising it was missed when they were children.
I’m no expert but I’m trying to focus on learning as much about ADHD as I can and trying to understand my behaviour. If it turns out I don’t have ADHD that doesn’t change the fact I struggle with a lot of the signs of it and so hopefully I will learn better coping strategies.
I had my diagnosis a few weeks ago. I am not sure how I feel about it tbh. In a way, yes, validated. I wasn't lazy, selfish, thoughtless, careless, sloppy etc. I couldn't have 'just tried harder' or 'applied myself better' or 'exercised some self-control' as a child or a teenager or while I was at university. I'm sad that my life could have been so different. I was considered very bright at school so expectations were high. I didn't meet those expectations and just scraped through all the way to my degree which I very nearly failed.
I supposer it's nice to know that I'm not a complete loudmouth nightmare with no social skills who cries and gets angry at the drop of a hat. Well, I am but it's not really my fault. I was such a naughty child that I really thought I was just an awful person. I overheard adults talking about me, I knew almost everybody around me would prefer it if I wasn't there because I was just so difficult. I knew my siblings hated me for ruining everything. I knew my teachers didn't like me because I shouted out in class and didn't do any work and they knew I could have done well. I knew my university lecturers thought I was wasting a space on a very hard to get on course because I never finished my projects but pulled it together at the last minute.
It's a lot to take in, I thought I'd be pleased to have a diagnosis but I haven't been processing it very well and haven't made my follow up appointment to organise meds etc.
Anyway, just saying hello. I've been lurking here for a while.
I supposer it's nice to know that I'm not a complete loudmouth nightmare with no social skills who cries and gets angry at the drop of a hat. Well, I am but it's not really my fault. I was such a naughty child that I really thought I was just an awful person. I overheard adults talking about me, I knew almost everybody around me would prefer it if I wasn't there because I was just so difficult. I knew my siblings hated me for ruining everything. I knew my teachers didn't like me because I shouted out in class and didn't do any work and they knew I could have done well. I knew my university lecturers thought I was wasting a space on a very hard to get on course because I never finished my projects but pulled it together at the last minute.
It's a lot to take in, I thought I'd be pleased to have a diagnosis but I haven't been processing it very well and haven't made my follow up appointment to organise meds etc.
Anyway, just saying hello. I've been lurking here for a while.
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Hi @Eurgh I didn’t get a diagnosis yet but I can empathise with some of what you said. Lately I’ve been kind of upset that I’ve been “wrong” about my life. In that, I thought I was doing well, I could do anything I wanted- but I couldn’t because I would always have hit this wall, and I didn’t know that before but I do now.
I’m kind of sad I “wasted” time believing I could just try harder and sort myself out, pay attention and it would all work out. If I’d known what it was I was dealing with, I would have done things differently. It’s like a weird kind of grieving for what “could have been”.
I’m kind of sad I “wasted” time believing I could just try harder and sort myself out, pay attention and it would all work out. If I’d known what it was I was dealing with, I would have done things differently. It’s like a weird kind of grieving for what “could have been”.
I’m STILL waiting on seeing a psychiatrist regarding the referral my gp put in end of January/ February.
Got in touch with the doctor today online and had an email back stating it will be Monday before she can talk to me about it!
I’m anxious because I’ve got my dissertation to do and starting a new job in September and hoped to have some sort of diagnosis by now.
- just having a crappy night and feeling overwhelmed with it all!
Someone tell me some good news about how quickly their referral was done and the process to cheer me up?
Sorry just feeling sorry for myself tonight x
Got in touch with the doctor today online and had an email back stating it will be Monday before she can talk to me about it!
I’m anxious because I’ve got my dissertation to do and starting a new job in September and hoped to have some sort of diagnosis by now.
- just having a crappy night and feeling overwhelmed with it all!
Someone tell me some good news about how quickly their referral was done and the process to cheer me up?
Sorry just feeling sorry for myself tonight x
I’m still waiting from December 2019........
🥲 sorry to hear that.
I’ve looked into private and it’s 1.5k where I am. Not to mention potentially having problems then getting prescribed medication if need be.
Sorry, no good news just solidarity. I’m in a similar position, my referral was put through in January. I doubt I’m going to get anywhere with it this year but I feel like it is hanging over me.
I’m learning to drive and really struggling and am trying to sort out my career after a long time at home with the kids, I would love to have some clarity and potentially therapy or medication to help me with these huge tasks.
I want to do a masters in a few years and the idea of actually being able to study without messing it up is very attractive to me, fingers crossed for us all.
When I first looked into going private it was around £500 and now it’s about £8/900 plus another £250 for the extra visits you need!
I'm pretty sure I have it. I just suck at life. I struggle with everything. Overwhelmed constantly. Always had depression and anxiety as well and recently quit my job because I did night shifts and the sleep deprivation turned me into an absolute psycho. Plus the fact I struggle with the repetitiveness of doing the saaaame bloody thing every time, knowing I have hours of utter boredom ahead of me. Definitely never been hyper or active, bouncing off the walls and stuff, not on the outside anyway. Sometimes I can sit staring into space for hours but on the inside my brain is going nuts, it's never quiet in there! And I have 2 settings, basically too overwhelmed or exhausted to do anything but desperately wanting to, and seeing all the things around me that need doing and hating myself for not being able to do it, or go go go. I'm socialising, cleaning the entire house, baking, exercising, cannot stop. Its ridiculous. Literally yesterday I cleaned my entire house, made phone calls, got tit done, took me from 9am til 6pm and didn't even stop to eat. Today? Dropped the kids off at school and then went back to bed.
Ugh.
Ugh.
I used to think my “seeing everything” was a talent, now I think it’s just ADHD overwhelm. I can see all possible next steps at once and no idea how to take them forward. Or if they need to be taken forward.
And then just avoid it all and do nothing because of the overwhelming confusion? Not knowing how to prioritise, not knowing which are the right options. Even getting out of bed sometimes feels impossible because I'm trying to mentally organise the whole day first, I literally have to say to myself "shut up, just sit up, step out of the bed and go for a shower, we will think about the rest later"
even now, I should have been in bed ages ago but I'm procrastinating my own bed time?! And the weekend plans seem full on so I'm exhausted before it's even begun. What is life?!Have you had a look at the additude website?And then just avoid it all and do nothing because of the overwhelming confusion? Not knowing how to prioritise, not knowing which are the right options. Even getting out of bed sometimes feels impossible because I'm trying to mentally organise the whole day first, I literally have to say to myself "shut up, just sit up, step out of the bed and go for a shower, we will think about the rest later"
It’s a bit americanised but there are useful articles as well about ADHD traits. It won’t change your life but you’ll feel less alone
Excuse me for not having read previous posts, but may I ask if you are of menopause age? Because if you are, this sort of experience can be attributed to that - I'm living it at the moment (constantly going to do something, only to stop and wonder what it was, etc.).
Not quite (I’m 40) but I take your point. I eventually found the noodles by the way… in a drawer where I keep the freezer bags. Took me a few days/weeks to find them though
Having a bit of a mare today. Somehow managed to not wash any of my own trousers. I have pyjama trousers but nothing I could leave the house in. How does this even happen? Had to get my partner to take our daughter to her friends party because of it. I mean it sounds funny when I’ve typed it out and I suppose it is but it’s also a symptom that im feeling overwhelmed and can’t keep up. Never hear of other adults not keeping on top of their washing to the point they run out of an item of clothes
I always make sure the kids and my partner have clothes washed, especially uniforms but then end up neglecting my own needs. It’s now resulted in me feeling really useless and bad about myself. Anyone relate?
I always make sure the kids and my partner have clothes washed, especially uniforms but then end up neglecting my own needs. It’s now resulted in me feeling really useless and bad about myself. Anyone relate?Yup except I live alone!Having a bit of a mare today. Somehow managed to not wash any of my own trousers. I have pyjama trousers but nothing I could leave the house in. How does this even happen? Had to get my partner to take our daughter to her friends party because of it. I mean it sounds funny when I’ve typed it out and I suppose it is but it’s also a symptom that im feeling overwhelmed and can’t keep up. Never hear of other adults not keeping on top of their washing to the point they run out of an item of clothes
I have an “emergency” outfit - the kind of old clothes you keep for painting. Handy, as long as you remember it exists.
Obviously I do painting in my actual clothes and got paint on them.
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